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[upbeat music playing]

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[growls]

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[Tom] Good morning, Pentagram City.

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[Katie] This is Katie Killjoy.

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[Tom] And I'm Tom Trench.

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Bringing you the latest
in Hell's hottest news.

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Tonight's top story:

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What the fuck is going on
at the Hazbin Hotel?

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[Tom] That's right, Katie.

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It's been a while since
Heaven attacked Hell

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and Charlie Morningstar
and the Hazbin Hotel

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brutally slaughtered the invading angels

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and kinda-sorta saved us
from the extermination.

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When you're done sucking toes, Tom,

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I'd like to remind you that Heaven
still hasn't made their next move.

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Are they coming back for revenge,

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or is this yearly nightmare finally over?

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Morningstar has declined
to come on the show to comment.

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[coughs] Pussy.

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But we will keep asking
until we break her.

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Because the world needs to know, Tom.

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Will she stop at angels?

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Are you next?

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-Is your dog or cat next?
-[whimpers]

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-Will her bloodlust ever be satisfied?
-[cat yowling]

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Who's at the top
of Charlie Morningstar's hit list?

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Maybe it's me!

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This segment brought to you by...

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[both] Voxtek.

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"Trust us with your everything."

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[hotel guest 1] This'll be great.
I'm looking forward to getting in here

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and fucking up some angels.

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[hotel guest 2] I love murder.

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I can't wait to kill some angels.

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[crackles]

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[whirring]

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I lost my fucking room key.

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Hello and welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.

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My name's, uh, changing.

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For now, call me Vaggie.
Have a lovely day,

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here's your key,
thank you so much for staying with us.

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Thanks for signing the guest book.

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This is like being in the army.

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I know you're here, Alastor,
could you help out, please?

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Mm, this seems like a you problem, Vagene.

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Here you go.

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And you. Really?

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What happened to
the whole "host of the hotel" thing?

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[clamoring]

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Where's Charlie?
Where is Charlie Morningstar?

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Is it true she drinks angel blood
to improve her "gay powers"?

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Is she off killing more angels?
The public has a right to know.

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Is it true this hotel
is recruiting a hellish army?

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And should I divorce my wife?

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Um, no. What?

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[Husk] I have three Torment and Tonics,

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four Virgin Sacrifice Piña Coladas,

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and something called a Harder Daddy?

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Oh, that one's for me.

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My favorite drink and life motto.

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[exhales] Whoo!

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That's a hard daddy.

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Angel, how about you
help me serve these drinks

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instead of letting your pig
gobble my nuts.

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[gasps] Husk, don't say it like that.

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He's little.

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Besides, I am working.

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I'm celebrity endorsing the hotel.

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[clears throat]

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Who wants to come stay
at the Hazbin Hotel with me?

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-[cheering]
-[sinner] I love come.

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-I-I've seen all his movies.
-Take it off.

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I've jerked off to all his movies.

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Cherri, how about you?

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You're part of the hotel now, right?
Why don't you help out?

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Whoa there, pussycat.

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I'm hanging at the hotel.
I'm not staying at the hotel.

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Big difference.

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-I ain't booked a room or nothing.
-Sure.

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Anyway, get your pig off my bar.

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[pig squeals]

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Has anyone seen Charlie?

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There are reporters here
asking some fucked-up questions.

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I think I saw her in the lounge.

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She's been keeping
Pentious's little egg company.

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-Thanks.
-Uh, when you see her,

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can you ask her if she's still up
for the therapy session today?

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I'm kinda getting into talking
about feelings and junk.

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[Charlie sobbing]

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[Frank] And here's when Pentious
cried after he was caught spying.

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And here's when Pentious cried
when you forgave him.

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And here's when Pentious cried

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when he first lost to Cherri Bomb.

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And here's when Pentious cried
after telling me

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I'm the most handsome egg boy
he's ever seen.

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I made that one up.

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He truly was the best of us.

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Or at least the most snake.

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[sobbing]

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This is Pentious's death ray.
He'd want you to have it.

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He invented the best things.

102
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Even though a lot were scary weapons
that hurt people. [sobs]

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But we were working on that.

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Charlie, there you are.

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Did you maybe want to come down
and say hi to the new guests?

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We could really use your help.

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There are reporters here and...

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Are you okay?

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Uh-huh. Everything is great. [chuckles]

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Great, great.
Why wouldn't everything be great?

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We beat Adam, and the hotel's packed,

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even though lots of people died,

113
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but-but it is so great.

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Babe, I feel like you're still processing
what happened.

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If you want, I can handle
the hotel duties,

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talk to those reporters?

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Wha...? Pfft, it's fine.

118
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I'm perfectly calm.

119
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Calm and fine. Fine and calm.

120
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Let's talk to those reporters.

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I bet they want to know all about
how redemption works,

122
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just like everyone else
who's staying here, right?

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Right. Yeah.

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[Vox growls]

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[Katie] Tom, you and your tiny dick
are pissing me off.

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See, I have five--
count it, five minutes a day--

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to enjoy my smoke break,
and you're Tomming up my space.

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Ah, there she is, my top reporter.

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Vox... hello. [chuckles]

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Wha-What-what brings you here, boss?

131
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Oh, nothing much.

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You care to tell me
what the fuck this this?

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Oh, tha... Well, we-we just wanted
to give it a flashy title.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can read, Katie.

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But why is it so positive?

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This is the news, honey.

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If we aren't scaring people
with the title alone,

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it's not worth running.

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I'm, I'm so sorry, sir.

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Y-You can...

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punish me if you want to.

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-[crew member coughs]
-Ew. No.

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Besides, I think I have a better angle
for this Hazbin Hotel.

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I think its popularity is useful.

145
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We just have to find the right spin.

146
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Oh, I love it when you spin things,
you sexy TV man.

147
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Keep up the questions.

148
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"Is it dangerous?"
"What's the Morningstars' next move?"

149
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And be ready for some...

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[modulated] breaking news tonight.

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Oh, I'll be ready for you, Vox.

152
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Yes, sir. We sure will.

153
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Shut up, Tom!

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[squeaking]

155
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[playful, jaunty music playing]

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-Harder Daddy?
-Why'd he do it?

157
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Why'd he just go and kill himself
to save me?

158
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We were rivals. Like, all I'd ever done
was fuck with him.

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But he liked me?

160
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-Why?!
-I mean, what's not to like?

161
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You're kind of cool, kind of hot.

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-He probably liked your big bombs.
-Fuck off.

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I just wish I could see him again.

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To punch him in the face
for dying and shit.

165
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[gasps] Sweet baby demon spawn.

166
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There are a lot of sinners here. [laughs]

167
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[reporter] Oh, there she is.
Hey, Charlie! Question over here.

168
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Come here. Look at me.
Look at me. Charlie!

169
00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:14,601
Charlie, are we at war with Heaven?

170
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,353
Charlie, how many angels
did you kill personally?

171
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Do they scream?

172
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,857
Hey, Charlie, how do angels scream
when they die?

173
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Is it like... [bird-like scream]

174
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And should I kill my wife?

175
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Vaggie, can you come, uh...?

176
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Okay, people, back it up, back it up.

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-[Baxter] Ahem.
-[yelps]

178
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Oh. [laughs] Hello there.

179
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I'm Charlie.

180
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-Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
-[squeals]

181
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,877
And what is your name?

182
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,296
My name is Baxter.

183
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:45,299
Ooh. Baxter. That's a fun name.

184
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Are you checking in with us?

185
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,802
I intend to, yes.

186
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Oh, that's great.

187
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[gasps] Aw.
And look at your little lab coat.

188
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,433
It's very cute. [gasps]

189
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,810
Are you an inventor?

190
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,729
Don't belittle me, woman.

191
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,732
I am not an inventor, I am a scientist.

192
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,317
There's a difference.

193
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,861
Some could classify me as a...

194
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,906
mad... [giggles] scientist.

195
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,408
[gasps] Pentious was an inventor.

196
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,535
That's so cool.

197
00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,370
I bet you're just like him.

198
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,539
If you're referring to that pompous snake,

199
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,666
I'd like it known I am nothing like him.

200
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,586
Hey, everyone, meet Pentious.

201
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,380
-Baxter.
-Right. Baxter. [laughs]

202
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,466
And you're here to be redeemed, Pen-xter.

203
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:28,675
Baxter. Sorry, sorry.

204
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,345
Pentious-bster. Baxter.
Uh, sorry, Bax-Baxter.

205
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,890
-Baxter. Baxter. [laughs] I got it.
-I am here to study

206
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,933
this fascinating concept of redemption.

207
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:40,187
My hypothesis is that it's impossible.

208
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:44,942
[laughing awkwardly] Okay, well...

209
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,904
♪ Come on in, here's your key ♪

210
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:52,532
♪ Let me take your bag, wait till ya see ♪

211
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:53,992
♪ The hotel ♪

212
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,619
-[tires screech]
-♪ 'Cause it's great ♪

213
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,581
♪ If you parked your car, we'll validate ♪

214
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:02,376
♪ All our guests are family ♪

215
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,835
-Hey.
-Perv!

216
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:05,754
Hands off the chest fluff.

217
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:09,549
♪ That's the Hazbin guarantee ♪

218
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,468
♪ And did I mention it's free? ♪

219
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,928
-It's worth the price.
-Al, be nice.

220
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,721
-Full of drunks.
-Full o' cunts.

221
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,974
Full of sticky floors covered in junk.

222
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,476
-Uh, don't mind them.
-No one does.

223
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,353
-Or that hole.
-Ugh. Cherri.
-What?

224
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,481
♪ You've made a great choice
to save your soul ♪

225
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,191
♪ 'Cause redemption is possible ♪

226
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,277
♪ I really, really hope ♪

227
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,280
♪ 'cause if it isn't then my whole life's
been a fucking joke ♪

228
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:34,199
♪ And my friend died for no reason
and I'm never gonna cope ♪

229
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,201
♪ from watching him get fucking murdered
right in front of me last month ♪

230
00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:37,286
What?

231
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,745
-♪ There's a bar ♪
-What the shit?

232
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,122
-♪ Have a beer ♪
-I don't drink.

233
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:43,792
♪ I just know you're gonna love it here ♪

234
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:47,546
♪ We can live in harmony ♪

235
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,923
No, I can't make a fucking mai tai.

236
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:54,344
♪ That's the Hazbin guarantee ♪

237
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,179
♪ Now repeat after me ♪

238
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,723
♪ I'm checking in ♪

239
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,266
I'm checking in.

240
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,976
♪ I'm seeking guidance ♪

241
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,394
-I'm seeking guidance.
-Come on, everybody.

242
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:05,355
-♪ For my reckoning ♪
-For my reckoning.

243
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:08,525
-♪ I'll never turn to violence ♪
-I'll never turn to violence.

244
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,152
♪ I'm checking in ♪

245
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,945
[flatly] I'm checking in.

246
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,739
♪ I'm seeking guidance ♪

247
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,783
-That place sucked ass.
-Psst. Hey, you.

248
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,036
-Who? Me?
-That's right, baby.

249
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,787
♪ Redemption got you snoring? ♪

250
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,456
♪ That scene was fucking boring ♪

251
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,500
♪ Have you considered a vocation
that is more rewarding? ♪

252
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:28,295
♪ Because I sense
a drop of star potential ♪

253
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:31,757
♪ With a little boost,
that drip could turn torrential ♪

254
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,383
♪ Come on down to V-Tower ♪

255
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,843
♪ Where we help talent flower ♪

256
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:38,138
♪ No telling how hot you could get
once you're backed by our power ♪

257
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,099
♪ Let's start with a killer fit,
let's get filler in those lips ♪

258
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:42,726
♪ Wax that gooch and pull that strip ♪

259
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,603
♪ Snip, snip, snip ♪

260
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,188
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

261
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:49,649
♪ All of Hell's gonna want you ♪

262
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,276
♪ In this game, no one outdoes us ♪

263
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,028
♪ No one can out-buzz us ♪

264
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:56,031
♪ All you got to do is trust us ♪

265
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,450
♪ Just us, trust us ♪

266
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,370
-♪ Take all these starring roles ♪
-♪ We trademarked all your holes ♪

267
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,164
♪ There's no such thing
as being totally overexposed ♪

268
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:07,584
♪ Except now they're sick of you
'cause they've seen way too much ♪

269
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,629
♪ But we'll still get the clicks
from souls who hate you ♪

270
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,172
[Vox] ♪ Scratch that,
they changed the channel ♪

271
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,882
♪ And we can't sell the scandal ♪

272
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,884
♪ Hope you had fun,
but we are done with you ♪

273
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:16,968
♪ Your run is canceled ♪

274
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,470
♪ We're finished, I'm not kidding ♪

275
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,305
♪ Get the fuck out of my building ♪

276
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:23,683
-♪ Get the fuck out of my building! ♪
-♪ Snip, snip, snip, bitch ♪

277
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,143
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

278
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:28,230
♪ But if you know someone new ♪

279
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,148
♪ Tell 'em that no one outdoes us ♪

280
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,983
♪ No one can out-buzz us ♪

281
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,151
♪ All they got to do is ♪

282
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,820
-♪ Come on in ♪
-♪ Come on down to V-Tower ♪

283
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:35,987
♪ Here's your key ♪

284
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:40,242
♪ And see how great
your afterlife could be ♪

285
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:44,246
♪ We can live in harmony ♪

286
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,206
♪ Why be nice when you can be famous? ♪

287
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:49,418
♪ That's the Hazbin ♪

288
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,920
♪ Sign and cash in ♪

289
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,131
♪ guarantee ♪

290
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,257
♪ Yeah right, bitch ♪

291
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:58,510
♪ Trust me, just me ♪

292
00:11:58,593 --> 00:11:59,636
♪ Trust ♪♪

293
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,139
Us. No, I meant to say "us."

294
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,099
-Uh-huh.
-Yeah, okay.

295
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,769
[reporter] Ms. Morningstar,
Ms. Morningstar, over here.

296
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,230
When will you launch your next attack
on the angels?

297
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,648
What do dead angels smell like?

298
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,734
Are all the sinners here
part of your anti-angel army?

299
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,361
I killed my wife.

300
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,738
What? N-No. No.
They're here to be redeemed.

301
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,574
D-Didn't you hear the song?

302
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,659
Are any of you here for redemption?

303
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,579
I thought this hotel was where
we came to kill angels.

304
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,999
Yeah, who cares about redemption?

305
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,375
That sounds like work.

306
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,170
No. I-I know angels aren't, like,

307
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,715
the best, but we shouldn't kill them.

308
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,676
We need to be better than them, right?

309
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,720
[gasps] Oh, my God!

310
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,973
Look, it's Niffty, the Adam Slayer.

311
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,057
Stab. Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab.

312
00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:48,059
Niffty, can I get your autograph?

313
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,145
Niffty, will you stab me?

314
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,481
Someone get a picture of her stabbing me.

315
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:54,608
[grunts] Yes.

316
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,944
No, no. Niffty was acting in self-defense,

317
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,571
we shouldn't celebrate what she had to do.

318
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,157
[crowd chanting]
Niffty! Niffty! Niffty!

319
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,826
[laughs] I like being touched.

320
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:07,996
No, stop touching her!
They brought the fight to us.

321
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,956
We had to defend ourselves.

322
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,083
I never wanted to... I wouldn't...

323
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:13,752
-That's not what--
-[chanting] Kill angels! Kill angels!

324
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,837
Kill angels! Kill angels! Kill angels!

325
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:18,423
Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. [laughs]

326
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:20,342
[crowd chanting]
Kill angels! Kill angels! Kill angels!

327
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,718
Kill angels! Kill angels!

328
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,303
-[clamoring]
-Charlie,

329
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,680
is this now officially
the Angel Killer Hotel?

330
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:28,099
Charlie, have all your staff
killed angels?

331
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,976
Charlie, do you have to be a cannibal

332
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,312
to sign up for
the Angel Killing Army Hotel?

333
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,606
-[Charlie stammers]
-And I regret killing my wife.

334
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,192
W-We, uh, we accept cannibals.

335
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,694
-I, um...
-Charlie, are you okay?

336
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,989
Uh, yeah, I'm-- I'm fine, uh, I-I just...

337
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:46,409
Aw, man, Charlie ain't looking
too good under pressure.

338
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,453
Alastor, shouldn't you help her?

339
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,664
Should I? Perhaps.

340
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,040
Will I? No.

341
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:55,085
Do I enjoy being difficult?

342
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,504
Most definitely.

343
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,214
I, um...

344
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,882
Poof! Here I am. Did I do that right?

345
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,008
There we--

346
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:06,221
Hey, don't worry, Charlie,
someone important is here to help.

347
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,347
[clears throat]

348
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,349
Oh, shit! What's that?!

349
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,393
Huh? Where'd they go?

350
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,602
They were just here.

351
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,396
[reporter] It's a fucking duck!
He tricked us!

352
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,275
Who's the best and biggest
demon shark in the world?

353
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,443
You are. You are.

354
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,028
You're my little shock.wav.

355
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,989
[Velvette] This better be important, Vox.

356
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,782
I was in a marketing meeting

357
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,535
about which trends are worth killing over.

358
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,912
Oh, yeah, he likes to talk.

359
00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:34,124
But you don't have to listen,
you can just focus on me, baby.

360
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,585
I said to come alone, Val.

361
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:37,794
-[screams]
-Din-dins, sharky!

362
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,840
Hey, I was using that.

363
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,300
I summoned you both here

364
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:47,304
because we need to discuss
some of your recent public... displays.

365
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,974
Velvette, you can't just fuck
with Carmilla Carmine

366
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:54,519
in front of other overlords,
it makes business harder.

367
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:57,230
Well, hey, you're lucky
I didn't skin the bitch.

368
00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,440
She was boring.

369
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:02,611
And Valentino, you cannot keep
hitting Angel Dust in public.

370
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,029
It's-- [laughs]

371
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:06,031
No, it's-- It's not.
It's not funny anymore.

372
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,907
[scoffs] When have I ever hit him?

373
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,455
You're obsessed with me.

374
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:16,333
Our brand is perfection, remember?

375
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:20,503
We cannot let ourselves look weak
to other overlords, or to sinners.

376
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,298
We are above petty bullshit.

377
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:27,677
Well, maybe people
should start sucking less.

378
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,512
Or more. [chuckles]

379
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,182
Moving on. Now, as we all know,

380
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,685
Charlie Morningstar recently proved
that angels can be killed.

381
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:38,271
And not just angels,
the big motherfuckers.

382
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:39,981
The big boys.

383
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:43,151
Now, obviously, she's gonna plead innocent

384
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:46,321
and play the "No, we should all
get along and be friends,

385
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,782
and jerk each other off" card.

386
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,116
But I think we can spin that.

387
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,494
I think we can use the hotel's reputation

388
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,496
and Hell's renewed hope

389
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,624
and start a Hell-wide uprising
against Heaven.

390
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,709
With us at the top, huh?

391
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,379
Uh, I know you won't believe this,

392
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,005
but I don't understand.

393
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,632
[groans]

394
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,300
Okay, from the top.

395
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:11,137
And I'll try to go slow.

396
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:12,514
[sighs]

397
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:17,018
Wow. [chuckles]
Thanks for the escape, Dad.

398
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,270
Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with me.

399
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:22,691
Well, you know, your friend
and your old hotel both kind of died,

400
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,694
so I think you're allowed
to be a little off, sweetheart.

401
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,904
Yeah, but i-if I don't
snap out of it soon,

402
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,449
people will get the wrong idea of me
and the hotel and then...

403
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:32,534
[sighs]

404
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:36,579
Dad, how do you deal with all the...

405
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,499
stress of being in charge of things?

406
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,418
-[duck quacks]
-I don't know.

407
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,337
I-I just manage, somehow.

408
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,548
[sighs] Mom would know what to do.

409
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,216
She was always so good at this.

410
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,719
Staying calm,
being the voice of the people.

411
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,138
Being the-the center of attention

412
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:56,933
with everyone looking to her,
to follow her.

413
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:01,020
Ignoring meaningless things. And people.

414
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:05,442
Yep. She was, uh, so good at that.

415
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,152
Do you miss her?

416
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,486
[chuckles] Oh, yeah.

417
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,614
Every second of every day.

418
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,117
For the past...
what is it, almost eight years?

419
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,492
[chuckles softly]

420
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,078
-[clears throat]
-I miss her, too.

421
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,540
But... [sighs]

422
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,000
She'd be proud of me, you think?

423
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,334
Oh, honey.

424
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:26,296
[laughs] She'd be so proud of you.

425
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,673
Are you kid-- At least, I'd hope so.

426
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,675
Hey, hey. Just take a deep breath, okay?

427
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,177
[inhales deeply]

428
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,554
The show must go on, Charlie.

429
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:35,638
[laughs]

430
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,683
And you were born for this spotlight.

431
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,435
[chuckles softly] Yeah...

432
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:41,853
[sighs]

433
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,105
Okay. Thanks, Dad.

434
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,107
For being here.

435
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,067
[line ringing]

436
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,862
Come on, Mom, pick up.

437
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:51,988
Pick up.

438
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,324
[automated voice] The account holder
on this line is unavailable.

439
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,950
Or they're avoiding you.

440
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:57,076
-Leave a message.
-[beeps]

441
00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,872
Hey, Mom, it's me. Again.

442
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,041
Again. Uh...

443
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:08,004
I'm-- I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm so overwhelmed right now.

444
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,632
Look, the hotel is full, which is great,

445
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,342
but the sinners are here
for the wrong reasons.

446
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,386
They want to kill angels, which is
the opposite of what I stand for,

447
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,263
a-and I know you wanted demons
to be empowered,

448
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:18,348
but this is--

449
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:22,185
This is the wrong way,
and I'd love some...

450
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:26,439
advice, maybe, if you have time, um...

451
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,067
Yeah. Anyway...

452
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:32,403
Uh, me and Dad
are talking again. [chuckles]

453
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,739
He's not so bad, and he...

454
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,324
He misses you.

455
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:39,410
So... just give me a call back.

456
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:42,247
I really need you.

457
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,584
Uh, I love you. Bye.

458
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,922
Ooh.

459
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,632
That's an icon.

460
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:56,970
Hey, did you hear I killed my wife?
Yeah, it's front page news.

461
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,471
Crazy, a reporter being in...

462
00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,849
What about Vagamalala for a new name?

463
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,059
-Sounds offensive.
-Maybe Vagelia?

464
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,770
Why are you changing your name again?

465
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,021
What's wrong with Vaggie?

466
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,315
Because Adam gave me that name,
and it's demeaning.

467
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,985
I feel like I got to give myself one,
you know?

468
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,403
How about Vagison?

469
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,155
Maybe you should lose the "vag" part
in these names?

470
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,365
I'm trying, okay?

471
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,618
-Everybody, listen up!
-[gasping]

472
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:25,039
Reporters, sinners, friends.
I have an announcement to make.

473
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,958
-Charlie! Charlie! Over here!
-She's back! She's back!

474
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,335
This is the Hazbin Hotel.

475
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:32,046
We do not kill angels here.

476
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:36,551
So, everyone who isn't here
to be redeemed...

477
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,635
please leave now.

478
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:38,803
Is that it?

479
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,930
Pretty much, yes. Yes, that is it.

480
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,809
You have all gotten the wrong idea.
The Hazbin Hotel is a place of peace.

481
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,103
But I believe in every sinner.

482
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,231
You all can change and be redeemed

483
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,650
and earn your way to a better life.

484
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:55,862
So, if you believe in our dream,

485
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:59,282
then you are welcome to stay.

486
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,492
-Absolutely not.
-[grumbling]

487
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:04,120
Well, back to wherever reporters go.

488
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,331
None of these people paid their tab.

489
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:09,250
For what it's worth, babe,
that was a good speech.

490
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,002
They'll understand eventually.

491
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,630
[sighs] Thank you.

492
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:17,800
I suspect this endeavor will end
in spectacular failure.

493
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:22,055
[chuckles] Which will make
a thrilling research essay.

494
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:26,309
Uh, well, it's only a worthy experiment
if you actually try.

495
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,436
Welcome to the hotel, Baxter.

496
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,396
So is he, like, the new Pentious?

497
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,315
-No!
-[growls]

498
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,193
And when this baby reaches the top, bam!

499
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,153
[laughing]

500
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,614
And that's how we'd rule Heaven.

501
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:40,698
Any questions?

502
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:43,451
Okay, but, like, I don't get it.

503
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,787
Why do we even need to rule Heaven?

504
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,830
How would we, like, get up there?

505
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,624
Semantics, Val.

506
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,125
Let me tell you a story.

507
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,461
Back on Earth, when I was alive,

508
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:56,547
I was the leader
of a very influential group.

509
00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:58,925
-You mean the cult?
-You could call it a cult.

510
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:00,843
But I'd say it was more of a movement.

511
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,054
And I was the center of it,

512
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:05,932
and I swear I'd never felt closer
to being a god.

513
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:09,394
That's a feeling
that I'd give anything to get back.

514
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:13,523
And a feeling that I'd love
to share with both of you.

515
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:17,235
We have the chance
to be more than overlords.

516
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:21,155
We have the chance to be gods.

517
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:24,534
It's not what Heaven is...

518
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,911
♪ It's what it could be ♪

519
00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:29,872
♪ With new management in charge ♪

520
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:33,418
♪ Like you, and you and me ♪

521
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:38,089
♪ Once we get up there ♪

522
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,426
♪ and snag that angelic throne ♪

523
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:46,431
♪ our unholy trinity could make
their realm our own ♪

524
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:51,644
♪ We'll pack up all their piety
and redecorate ♪

525
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:56,649
♪ Bet our tower would look powerful
with pearlier gates ♪

526
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,110
♪ Once we get up there ♪

527
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:01,237
♪ Up to the promised land ♪

528
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,782
♪ A hundred billion souls await
our every command ♪

529
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:08,202
♪ We're the biggest fish in Hell,
how 'bout we upgrade the bowl? ♪

530
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:10,580
♪ It's time for growth,
let's rule 'em both ♪

531
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,206
♪ Take total control ♪

532
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:14,834
♪ Think of all your dreams
that could come true ♪

533
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,461
-Even the wet ones?
-Yeah, those too.

534
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:18,796
♪ Imagine what it could enable ♪

535
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:19,922
-For my label.
-Yes!

536
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:22,341
♪ A heavenly host that bows
to none but us ♪

537
00:22:22,425 --> 00:22:24,052
♪ I can have hot new angel sluts ♪

538
00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:26,012
♪ Tear off their wings
and make them dresses ♪

539
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,138
♪ And what's best is ♪

540
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:30,808
♪ That dumb princess showed us the way ♪

541
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:34,479
♪ To make those haloed cabronas pay ♪

542
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:38,232
♪ And once we're gods
I can't wait to say ♪

543
00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:41,444
♪ To everyone who doubted me,
your doubting days are done ♪

544
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:43,196
♪ You'll be cornered,
trapped and tortured ♪

545
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:45,740
♪ Then I'll end you just for fun ♪

546
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:49,660
♪ Once we get up there ♪

547
00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:52,455
♪ The shining kingdom of God ♪

548
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:55,416
♪ No more petty squabbles with the dead ♪

549
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,543
♪ As we stroll the golden promenade ♪

550
00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:59,670
♪ What's an overlord to a deity? ♪

551
00:22:59,754 --> 00:23:01,506
♪ They ain't got a prayer ♪

552
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,216
♪ It'll be so nice in paradise ♪

553
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:05,259
♪ With a splash of vice,
they'll pay the price ♪

554
00:23:05,343 --> 00:23:07,261
♪ We'll rule the sky from up on high ♪

555
00:23:07,345 --> 00:23:08,721
-♪ Once I ♪
-♪ And I ♪

556
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:13,559
-♪ And I ♪
-♪ Get up there ♪

557
00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:16,562
[laughter]

558
00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:17,855
♪ they're fucked ♪♪

559
00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:21,984
-Hey.
-Hey.

560
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:23,736
What do you think about Vanessa?

561
00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:29,242
Uh, it's not bad,
but, eh, it's not as unique.

562
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:32,411
But if you like it, then I-I love it.

563
00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:34,038
[sighs] I don't.

564
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:37,500
You'll come up with a good one. [sighs]

565
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:40,378
I think what makes me saddest

566
00:23:40,461 --> 00:23:43,923
is that none of us got to say goodbye.

567
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:46,968
Ugh, I wish I could just stop the feelings

568
00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:49,679
and just do what I need to do,
I just can't--

569
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:51,764
Charlie, the feelings are important.

570
00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:54,392
You're allowed to feel them.

571
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:56,269
How about you just let me take on

572
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,354
more of the hotel stuff
until you're ready?

573
00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,522
Really?

574
00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,816
[chuckles]

575
00:24:01,899 --> 00:24:04,694
-Okay. Okay, thanks.
-[meows]

576
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,864
Then, for now, the hotel is yours.

577
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,991
Hey, what do you think
about the name Vazzie?

578
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,326
Sounds cool and tough, right?

579
00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:14,287
Uh...

580
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:16,122
Yeah, I'll keep workshopping.

581
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,207
-[laughter]
-Yeah.

582
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:20,751
[Katie] Our new top, top story:

583
00:24:20,835 --> 00:24:24,547
Charlie Morningstar,
Hell's greatest threat.

584
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,673
That's right, Katie.

585
00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:27,842
Our recent reports
from the Hazbin Hotel tell us

586
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:30,595
that Morningstar demanded
all demons seeking retribution

587
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:34,473
for the exterminations
to "get out" on threat of death.

588
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:37,560
It seems Morningstar has no desire

589
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:41,105
to build an army for demons
who want to fight back,

590
00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:44,275
and instead, wants to create
a hostile environment

591
00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,402
where she forces sinners

592
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:51,240
to change and fit into her
restrictive puritanical mold.

593
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,950
Scary stuff.

594
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:55,036
I know I'm scared.

595
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,538
And everyone else should be, too.

596
00:24:57,622 --> 00:25:01,125
In other news, Hell's powerful
threesome of Voxtek,

597
00:25:01,209 --> 00:25:04,879
the Vees, are now offering sanctuary

598
00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:08,799
to all those affected
by Charlie Morningstar's actions.

599
00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:10,218
-Don't listen to those chucklefucks.
-What are they--

600
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:12,720
How are they-- What I don't--

601
00:25:12,803 --> 00:25:14,805
[growls, gasps]

602
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,683
You're right.

603
00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:19,727
I'm sure this will be old news in a week.

604
00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:22,313
For now, I'm getting you a Harder Daddy.

605
00:25:23,314 --> 00:25:24,690
[door closes]

606
00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,652
-Charlie!
-Emily?

607
00:25:27,735 --> 00:25:29,528
Sorry, I don't have much time.

608
00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:32,031
Heaven's going into lockdown 'cause,
you know, Adam was killed,

609
00:25:32,114 --> 00:25:33,407
but now Sera is worried
about Hell wanting revenge,

610
00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:35,534
and Heaven doesn't want any more death,

611
00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,536
but is really scared
of what's going to happen next.

612
00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:38,871
Anyway, long story short,

613
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:41,290
Pentious was redeemed
and he is in Heaven now, yay,

614
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:43,501
but don't worry,
I'll be back again as soon as I can

615
00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:45,586
but yes, your hotel totally works.

616
00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:47,255
Congratulations! Bye.

617
00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:51,050
[screams]

618
00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:53,135
[jazzy music playing]

619
00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:22,957
-[whinnies]
-[whip cracks]

620
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:26,085
-Bento.
-[cheering]