1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,007
[upbeat music playing]

2
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,679
[growls]

3
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,028
[jaunty music playing]

4
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:31,490
Charlie, babe,
I think you need to drop this.

5
00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:36,829
Drop what? I'm just trying to clear up
the misinformation about the hotel.

6
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:40,416
There is no point.
Those fuckers work for Vox.

7
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,377
Katie Killjoy is just gonna do
the same thing that Vees did.

8
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,628
Don't feed into this crap.

9
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:48,090
Just stay with me today.
And the guests, also the guests.

10
00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:51,844
I know, but I feel like if I explain
myself on live television,

11
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,138
then they won't be able
to edit it like that video!

12
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,892
You know I did not strike Velvette
with an open fist.

13
00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,226
[chuckles softly] I'm aware.

14
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:02,438
So... just keep holding down the fort--
you're doing great by the way--

15
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,939
until Niffty and I get back.

16
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:04,899
Niffty?

17
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,066
-Hi.
-[screams]

18
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,276
-Okay. Have fun. Love you. Bye.
-[grunts]

19
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,819
-Bye!
-[sighs]

20
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,739
[pensive music playing]

21
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,241
[gasps softly]

22
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,288
[sighs]

23
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,334
[tranquil music playing]

24
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,085
[Cherri scoffs]

25
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,462
Fucking dickhead.

26
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,047
Oh!

27
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:31,967
Look who it is interrupting this riveting
conversation I was having with...

28
00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:34,094
-who are you again?
-Uh, Angel Dust.

29
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:36,430
Angel Dust! I knew that.

30
00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:38,265
-[laughs] You're funny.
-What?

31
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,142
You're still here?

32
00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:41,352
-[yawns]
-[duck squeaks]

33
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,729
Someone has to actually help out
around here, Mr. Useless.

34
00:01:44,814 --> 00:01:47,149
[mock laugh] What do you actually do here?

35
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,819
I told you, I'm the host of the hotel.

36
00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:52,988
Huh, I thought that was, uh, I thought
that was Charlie's girlfriend's job,

37
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:57,618
because she, my friend, is on it
with running this whole hotel...

38
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:58,661
thing.

39
00:01:58,744 --> 00:01:59,870
[growls]

40
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,247
So you're doing a poor job at that.

41
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,999
Oh, and I hear you got
your ass kicked and ran away

42
00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,709
when Charlie needed you most.

43
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,711
It's a sure good thing I showed up.

44
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,798
- [laughing] Am I right?
-[squeaks]

45
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,591
-This guy knows.
-What?

46
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,679
You...

47
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,264
should use a coaster.

48
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,766
That's it! Fuck this, I quit.

49
00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:23,894
That's it, Bambi, walk away.

50
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,939
[slurps, exclaims] You...

51
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:30,776
[laughs] You should've moved in sooner.

52
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,945
[Tom Trench] Coming up,
on Katie Killjoy Tonight,

53
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,365
an exclusive interview
with Hell's not-so-favorite nepo baby

54
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,783
Charlie Morningstar,

55
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,160
only on 666 news.

56
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,538
You don't want to miss this.

57
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,125
All right, people, we're on in five.

58
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:50,087
[huffing] All right, Niffty,

59
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,213
we got this, right?

60
00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:53,841
I mean, all I got to do is
talk from the heart, for the people.

61
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,134
Set the record straight.

62
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,218
Real straight.

63
00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,512
Explain what really happened.

64
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:01,181
-Real straight!
-Right. You got the cards ready?

65
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,350
[cheering]

66
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:06,312
-Perfect.
-[Velvette] Is that the princess?

67
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,897
Didn't learn your lesson yesterday?

68
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:11,692
What you guys put out yesterday
was heavily fucked... with.

69
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,402
So I'm here to set the record straight

70
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,029
with my own words
that you can't fuck with.

71
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,906
Sure, sweetie.

72
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:19,950
-Katie! You know what to do.
-Ho-ho, right.

73
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:23,245
It's nice to meet you, Miss Morningstar.

74
00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,497
It is Miss, right? 'Cause we all know
queers can't get married.

75
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:26,582
What?

76
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,792
Well, let's not waste any more time, dear.

77
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,711
Come on.
You still need to get camera ready.

78
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,880
I am camera ready.

79
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,633
Oh, sweetheart... yuck.

80
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,051
[snaps fingers]

81
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,053
Wow, that's bright.

82
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:43,057
Welcome back to me.
I'm here with Charlie Morningstar,

83
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:46,393
homosexual daughter
of our big old devil daddy

84
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,562
-and founder of the Hazbin Hotel...
-[thuds]

85
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,231
...which is starting to live up
to the name, wouldn't you say?

86
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,775
[chuckles] I would.

87
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,194
[mock laugh] Firstly, I'm bi,

88
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,654
but thanks, Katie.

89
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,114
You know, the name was
kind of a funny story actually--

90
00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,951
-Phenomenal. So tell us, Chazzie--
-It's Charlie.

91
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:05,329
You're here to set the record straight
about your hotel, yes?

92
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,331
What exactly is there to tell us?

93
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,876
I'd say we already saw everything
in last week's hit docuseries

94
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,545
Hazbin Hotel, Behind Closed Doors,

95
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,548
available now on VoxTek video.

96
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:20,803
Well, as you know, Vox paid a visit
to our hotel recently, yes,

97
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,388
and he lied about everything that--

98
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,182
Whoa, duh-duh, lied? [laughs]

99
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,102
I'd say that's a pretty intense
accusation, don't you think?

100
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:31,105
Well, he, um... [clears throat]
misrepresented things, so--

101
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,774
Oh! Using fancy words now.

102
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,944
-He bent the truth!
-I wish he'd bend me.

103
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:40,114
Right in half, you know
what I'm saying? [laughs]

104
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,783
-Tom, laugh!
-Oh! Ha-ha-ha.

105
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,619
Oh, no...

106
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,831
[humming happily]

107
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:55,629
[hisses]

108
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:58,924
Knock-knock, Rosie my dear,
Alastor's here.

109
00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:03,178
Oh! Alastor. Don't you know it's rude
to show up on a lady unannounced?

110
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:04,805
I have nothing prepared.

111
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:08,809
Oh, please, no need to gussy up
for little old me now.

112
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,521
I just dropped in to tell you
the great news.

113
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:16,358
Oh, great news? That's always
exciting for me to hear.

114
00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,235
By all means, tell me.

115
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,238
I'm sure you know all
about Charlie's little hotel

116
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,657
and how I've been "helping out."

117
00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:24,992
Of course I do.

118
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,578
Yes, well... I just quit.

119
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,580
[glass shatters]

120
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,873
You what?

121
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,542
You see, I've been there
about a year or so,

122
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:37,379
and after all of the pointless
singing and crying...

123
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:41,258
I'm afraid I see no further reason
for my presence there.

124
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,135
We really aren't getting any closer to--

125
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:45,220
Ah, bup, bup, bup, bup,
bup, bup, bup, bup.

126
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:48,515
Alastor, sweetie, pumpkin.

127
00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:51,268
I'm afraid that isn't up to you, is it?

128
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:56,482
See, I thought that, too, but I also
thought our little deal meant

129
00:05:56,565 --> 00:06:00,235
that I was the strongest sinner
in all of Hell.

130
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:03,030
Yet here I am with the scars

131
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:06,742
and a busted-up staff
that proves otherwise.

132
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,619
Oh, come on now, Alastor.

133
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,704
You really thought
being the most powerful sinner,

134
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:14,625
which you are, meant you could
take on an archangel?

135
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:19,213
[chuckles] You're still as cute
and stubborn as the day we met.

136
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,631
[Alastor growls]

137
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,841
Don't remind me.

138
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:25,135
Oh, but I will.

139
00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,847
You were a handsome young man,

140
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,099
such a charmer.

141
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,934
And quite the gentleman, if I recall.

142
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:35,229
Hustling yourself and dazzling
those yuppy producers.

143
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:39,691
Overcoming so much to be the star
of your own radio show.

144
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,653
The toast of New Orleans.

145
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,697
But you were a bit naughty...

146
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:46,698
weren't you?

147
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:49,243
Oh! [laughs]

148
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,703
[screams]

149
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:57,543
I'll always be impressed with how prepared
you were for all this while still human.

150
00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:02,089
I can't imagine how many rituals it took
to get through to the other side,

151
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,925
but when I heard your voice...

152
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,094
I just knew.

153
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,847
I knew you were the one.

154
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,058
[chuckles] Tu es prêt à manger...

155
00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:15,936
[laughs maniacally]

156
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:19,565
I call on you, voices of the afterlife.

157
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:22,192
I wish to make a deal with you.

158
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:27,865
[Rosie over radio] Why have you
called me here, human?

159
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,951
To curse? To give?

160
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:34,705
-To learn?
-Allow me to cut to the chase.

161
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,417
I know what awaits a man like me
after death.

162
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,670
But I do not want to exist in Hell,
a tortured soul.

163
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:47,050
I want to secure myself,
amongst the highest demons.

164
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,761
I want to continue my fun!

165
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:52,431
Wow. That's a new one.

166
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:57,728
I must say,
a soul like yours is unlike any I've seen.

167
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,855
I can grant you power,

168
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:04,193
power beyond
what your mortal mind can imagine.

169
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:08,238
The most powerful sinner in Hell, but....

170
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:11,992
you must do something for me,

171
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:16,663
and until you complete this task,
your soul will be mine.

172
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:20,292
It's a deal.

173
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,920
[laughs maniacally]

174
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,755
[Rosie]
It's pretty funny that the next day,

175
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:28,258
you died in the most hilarious way
possible. [laughs]

176
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,928
Mistaken for a deer and shot
while hiding a body.

177
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,014
I mean, just perfect.

178
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,140
-[gunshot]
-So anticlimactic.

179
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:39,519
[chortling]

180
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,688
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

181
00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:44,358
[chuckles] Oh, hilarious.

182
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,194
[forced chuckle] Ah. Ah. Ah-ha-ha!

183
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,614
-[eerie music playing]
-Look, you can toy around with me

184
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,825
all you want,
but I've been running all over Hell

185
00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:58,288
on some fruitless crusade for years,
playing nice at a stupid hotel

186
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:03,460
because you promised me power,
and now I'm lacking, so you better--

187
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,546
-[♪ "Don't You Forget" plays]
-♪ Sounds like you really could do ♪

188
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:11,009
♪ with a little reminder
of who you're talking to ♪

189
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:16,515
♪ An honest woman
always there to lend an ear ♪

190
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:20,811
♪ I dealt with you fairly,
been patient it's true ♪

191
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:25,649
♪ But remember, "my deer,"
you're in my zoo ♪

192
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,567
♪ Don't you forget ♪

193
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:30,696
♪ You are my pet ♪

194
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:35,075
♪ I say when to sit and stay,
roll over or go fetch ♪

195
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,160
♪ Don't you forget ♪

196
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,371
♪ There's no way out ♪

197
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:43,040
♪ You're a debtor till the day
you settle your account ♪

198
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,045
♪ I've served you faithfully for an age ♪

199
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,798
♪ obeyed demands, contained my rage ♪

200
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:53,051
♪ went off the air
for years on your behalf ♪

201
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,220
♪ I know, and you're so kind ♪

202
00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:57,848
♪ And since you made me disappear ♪

203
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,434
♪ my name inspires much less fear ♪

204
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:03,812
♪ The least
that you can do is fix my staff ♪

205
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:04,938
In due time.

206
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:07,190
Sing along, dear, you know the words.

207
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,359
-Oh.
-♪ Don't you forget ♪

208
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,652
♪ I won't forget ♪

209
00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,696
♪ You are my pet ♪

210
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,823
♪ Yours since we met ♪

211
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,367
[both] ♪ I say when to sit and stay ♪

212
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,244
♪ play ball or just play dead ♪

213
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,330
♪ Don't you forget ♪

214
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,581
♪ I'm in your net ♪

215
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,584
-♪ The coop can't be flown ♪
-♪ At least not yet ♪

216
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:30,630
♪ The moves you make
are mine and mine alone ♪

217
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:35,552
♪ Looks like you'll have
to do this on your own ♪♪

218
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,012
Fine.

219
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,683
-[dramatic music playing]
-Oh, calling me her pet.

220
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,227
I'm not your pet, you lousy...

221
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,479
I'll show her.

222
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,230
Oh, she'll see.

223
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,775
Think. Think. Come on, Alastor.

224
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,318
Come on.

225
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,987
There must be a way.

226
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,697
[gasps softly] Oh.

227
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:58,075
Oh, that's clever.

228
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,828
Hmm. [laughing]

229
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:05,665
I can fix my own problems.

230
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,751
So basically,
what you're trying to tell us is

231
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:11,171
that an angel told you
your silly little snake friend was alive.

232
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,339
The same angels

233
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:15,300
that made it their whole "thing"
for seven years to kill

234
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,718
as many of us as possible?

235
00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,513
And you just expect us
to believe all that?

236
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:24,017
Yes! Well, I mean, yes,
they don't want to hurt us anymore.

237
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:28,480
Now that Sir Pentious is redeemed,
I'm sure they are going to help us, so--

238
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,357
Oh, you're sure, are you? You're so sure?

239
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:34,861
Because I'm sure that Vox reported
on how you had no evidence at all,

240
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:39,199
and that you just put your guests
in danger for fun.

241
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:42,327
Well, sure, but see,
he made it look that way.

242
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:45,997
If you take something out of context,
you can make someone say anything.

243
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:50,669
It feels like he was just waiting for me
to say something awful, like that

244
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,213
"I think sinners deserved
the extermination

245
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,382
because they're bad people." [laughs]

246
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,426
But I would never actually say that.

247
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,846
-Oh! Did you get that?
-[air horn blowing]

248
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,140
Breaking news. Charlie Morningstar claims

249
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,643
that sinners deserved to be exterminated
in shocking new statement.

250
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,062
No. No. That is not--

251
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:10,981
Like-- What?! Stop.

252
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,357
That is not what I said.
It was just an example.

253
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,317
Not like I meant it, you know? Please stop

254
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,986
quoting everything I'm saying.
It is distracting me.

255
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,904
What?! Don't compare me to Hitler!

256
00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,448
How are you even typing this fast?!

257
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:22,409
I am so getting that fucking bonus.

258
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,953
Now, Charles, do you have anything else

259
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,247
you'd like to clarify
about your Hashbrown Motel?

260
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:31,751
[gasps] I... Um, uh, y... you know.

261
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,753
-[chittering]
-N-Niffty.

262
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:38,216
Here. Come up here and tell us all
about how amazing the Hazbin Hotel is.

263
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,386
Just tell them! Uh...

264
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:43,763
Uh… Uh... Oh, shit.

265
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,223
The camera thing. Uh...

266
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,726
Oh! Hey, Niffty, guess what?

267
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,562
That is not a camera. It's a roach.

268
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,606
That's a big roach.

269
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:58,487
Yeah. Tell the big roach
about how much you like the hotel.

270
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,617
-[chittering]
-[♪ "Clean It Up" plays]

271
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,827
♪ There's an endless stream of trash
and filth and hundreds of bugs ♪

272
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:08,163
♪ If you love the stench of jizz,
wait till you smell our rugs ♪

273
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,916
♪ 'cause people barf and piss and cum
on them a ton ♪

274
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,959
♪ And when they do,
I get to go and clean it up ♪

275
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,294
-What?
-♪ Hypodermic needles ♪

276
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,378
♪ left all over the place ♪

277
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,589
♪ And our rats have grown immune
to being sprayed by mace ♪

278
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,175
♪ So I got to take my knife
and stab 'em all in the face ♪

279
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,719
♪ And now they treat me like their queen
because I'm covered in rat blood ♪

280
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,679
-♪ Niffty, no ♪
-♪ Magical land ♪

281
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,390
♪ hotel of my dreams ♪

282
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:31,019
♪ disgustingest, ugliest building
that I've ever seen ♪

283
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:32,562
♪ And I get to clean it up ♪♪ [laughs]

284
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,397
-Niffty, what are you doing?
-Helping!

285
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,150
-Can you help differently?
-Okay.

286
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,401
[singing in Japanese]

287
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,987
Um...

288
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,741
Can anyone understand this?!

289
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,119
Why?!

290
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:58,630
Yes. [panting]

291
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:03,301
♪ And that's why the hotel is good ♪♪

292
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,387
Right? Yay.

293
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,848
[dramatic, eerie music playing]

294
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,019
I know you're watching.

295
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,396
Come on out.

296
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:17,607
No need to be shy, Vox.

297
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,610
-[yells]
-Alastor.

298
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,280
For what do I owe the displeasure?

299
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,240
Did I strike a nerve?

300
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:29,703
Finally ready to plead with me
to stop shitting on your precious hotel?

301
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:33,623
Frankly, I'm bored
of hearing your incessant slander.

302
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,959
It's not even clever.

303
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,003
This ends now.

304
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:43,133
Ugh. Voxxy, you can't get all up in this
and then zip out like that.

305
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,302
I thought you liked it when I--

306
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:49,264
TMI, Val. Now who are we killing?
And can I film it?

307
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,183
No, no, dear, I don't think
Vox would want the public

308
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:55,437
to see me put him in his place
a second time.

309
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,357
Fuck you, Twink! [yells]

310
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,734
[dramatic music playing]

311
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,580
[Vox] What's wrong, old man?

312
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:17,167
Getting your ass beat by Adam
fuck you harder than you thought?

313
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,503
Hiyah! Oh!

314
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,590
♪ ♪

315
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:29,596
[Valentino] What's the matter, bitch?
Can't get it up?

316
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,557
[Valentino laughs]

317
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,853
Daddy's home.

318
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,022
-[chuckles]
-[groans]

319
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,983
Oh, dear, does that hurt? [laughs]

320
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,069
Hey! Fuck!

321
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:50,033
Damn. It's gonna take a lot more
to fix that hairdo.

322
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,911
Hey, my little puppets,
I'm putting up a poll.

323
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:58,792
Vote "yes" or "no" if you want me
to absolutely obliterate this guy.

324
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,045
[laughing]

325
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:19,479
[crackling]

326
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:24,401
-[explosion]
-Come on out.

327
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,819
Are you fucking kidding me?

328
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,112
-You are very rude.
-Look at you go.

329
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,947
-Yada, yada, yada.
-This has all been a whole setup,

330
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,324
and once more, you are very homophobic,
Ms. Killjoy, and I do not like you.

331
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:32,409
I'm not homophobic.

332
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,493
-I just hate gay people.
-This has been the worst

333
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,537
-fucking interview of my entire life.
-So sue me.

334
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,415
[gasps] Alastor's in trouble!

335
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,833
[lively, dramatic music playing]

336
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,172
Hey, have you ever heard of a blob fish?

337
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,298
-[soft piano music playing]
-A... what?

338
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,383
Check this out.

339
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,676
How cute is that?

340
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,470
Why are you like this?

341
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,557
Look, Angel, I--

342
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,268
-Oh, hey, Niff. What the fuck?!
-[Niffty panting rapidly]

343
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,978
Huh?

344
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,690
A lot of weird shit happens here.

345
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,442
[dramatic music playing]

346
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:09,529
[Vox] Found you!

347
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:18,704
Someone should really put this thing
out of its misery.

348
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,915
[Niffty] We're here, Alastor!

349
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,460
[panting]

350
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:24,752
Husk, go!

351
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:25,920
-What the--?!
-[grunts]

352
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,047
The fuck is this about, Alastor?

353
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,758
You still fighting these nobodies?

354
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,426
[gasps] My hair!

355
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,637
[groans] I'm gonna kill you!

356
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,891
Look, lady, I didn't mean to-- Oh, shit.

357
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:41,561
-[energetic music playing]
-[explosions]

358
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,273
[gasps]

359
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,108
Hey, bad boy.

360
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:50,153
You again?! [grunting]

361
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,614
-Ow! Fuck!
-Oh!

362
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:56,242
Looks like it's me and you again.
Ready to lose?

363
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,787
Not this time. [yelling]

364
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,165
Geez.

365
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,335
Calm down, bitch.

366
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,712
This outfit is worth ten of you.

367
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:11,341
Put a shirt on, you mangey stray.

368
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,347
-Hmm.
-Oh, not there.

369
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,516
-Oh.
-Ow!

370
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:23,144
-Oh. No.
-[speaking Spanish]

371
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,314
Ow! Aah!

372
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,441
-[groans]
-[whimpers]

373
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,278
Gun. [laughs]

374
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,697
Wait. Call off your goons.

375
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,575
I have a proposition for you.

376
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,285
Excuse me?

377
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,371
[singsongy] Now or never.

378
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,165
Val, hang on. [groans]

379
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:47,252
We keep going back and forth,

380
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:51,381
and it's growing really tiresome,
uh, quite boring actually,

381
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,759
and it's making it harder
for me to do what I have to do.

382
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,428
Yeah, of course, you're trying
to talk your way out of this.

383
00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:59,264
Get to the fucking point!

384
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,683
How about… we make a little deal?

385
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:06,437
I'll join your propaganda parade
and be your little prisoner?

386
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:09,983
All I ask for in exchange is, ooh,

387
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:14,737
two, tiny, itty bitty conditions.

388
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,072
The fuck is he doing?

389
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,782
What conditions?

390
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:22,078
Let these irrelevant little nobodies
run along home,

391
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,164
but more importantly,
you're not to lay your hands

392
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:28,167
on Charlie Morningstar.

393
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:31,337
Wait. That's it? [laughs]

394
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:34,924
That's it. Pretty enticing, isn't it?

395
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,927
Think of the headlines.

396
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,513
That's-that's... [stammering]

397
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,724
It's a deal.

398
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:46,644
[laughing] Yes!

399
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,314
I fucking did it! Ha-ha-ha!

400
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:52,317
Holy fuck. Everyone out. Look who I have.

401
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,403
[laughs] Velvette. Cameras.

402
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,779
[clamoring]

403
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,157
All right, you heard him, people.
Everyone out.

404
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,700
-Move your asses.
-[overlapping chatter]

405
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,660
Alastor, what happened? What's going on?

406
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,662
-Wait! Wait! Alastor!
-[sinner] Move, bitch!

407
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,331
-Move.
-Ugh! Oh, stop pushing me!

408
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,749
-Bitch, move.
-Alastor.

409
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:11,127
Ugh. Wait. Let me back in.
I am the princess of Hell!

410
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,924
What the actual fuck is happening?!

411
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,759
-[crowd cheering]
-[Vox laughing]

412
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:20,428
Oh! No. No, thank you. No, yeah.

413
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,055
Thank you. I-I... I won.

414
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,974
You like--? I know I-- I know I won.

415
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,268
I like winning.

416
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:29,771
And let me be the one to tell the world

417
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:34,317
that Alastor does not have a tail.

418
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,527
[laughter]

419
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:39,572
Oh, that's gonna piss some people off.

420
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,325
-One... smoothie, please.
-[whimsical music playing]

421
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,456
[slurping]

422
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,045
[laughs] Oh!

423
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:57,423
Oh! Ah!

424
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,968
Today was perfect.

425
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:01,594
Right, Val?

426
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:03,096
Uh-huh, sure, babe.

427
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,390
Hmm? And what-what do you think, Alastor?

428
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:08,643
Oh, why the long face?

429
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,853
[laughs]

430
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:15,984
[Vox humming and laughing]

431
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,111
Mm-hmm. Mm.

432
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,488
Isn't this nice?

433
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,578
Look at all this.

434
00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,163
I know you feel it, too.

435
00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:33,334
And to think you could have had this all
and without the public humiliation.

436
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,379
[laughs]
Yeah, this calls for a celebration.

437
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:41,384
Hmm, yes, not like
you haven't been doing that all day.

438
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:45,596
Whiskey? Gin?
I could call up and get you a Sazerac?

439
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,100
[mysterious music playing]

440
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:52,103
You know I've waited for this moment
for almost 70 years.

441
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:53,938
I'm curious.

442
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:58,234
What makes the princess
and her crappy little hotel so great

443
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:03,614
that the Radio Demon gives up what little
dignity he had left to help out with it?

444
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:08,369
Or how a guy from the '30s landed in Hell
and somehow

445
00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:11,080
became one of the most powerful overlords?

446
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,957
Tell me how.

447
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:15,585
Mm, nope.
Our deal is for me to be your captive.

448
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:18,254
I don't have to tell you anything.

449
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,758
Seriously?
You usually love to run your mouth.

450
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:25,261
But I guess being a brat is kind of
your thing, isn't it?

451
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,554
[Alastor laughs]

452
00:22:26,637 --> 00:22:28,973
You'd be nothing without those two.

453
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:31,768
-Excuse me?
-You really haven't changed, have you?

454
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:34,145
Still so reliant on all those around you.

455
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:38,357
Always seeking someone
to put up with your incessant--

456
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,903
You know, I think I prefer the silence.

457
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,072
[Alastor's voice over speaker] What?

458
00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:48,367
Don't want to be reminded
of how desperate you were for attention?

459
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:53,331
Back then, you and I were as close
to equals as I'd imagined down here.

460
00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:56,417
You had your decent ideas,
you were growing your power,

461
00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:59,420
and it was almost impressive.

462
00:22:59,504 --> 00:23:01,631
And I respected you.

463
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,716
And then you went and ruined it.

464
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:08,763
I thought you found me, what was it?
Inspiring?

465
00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:13,226
-[soft piano music playing]
-You're inspiring, really.

466
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,936
And when you think about it,

467
00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:18,231
modern entertainment
actually started with radio.

468
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:21,526
-Ah.
-Ah, am I boring you with my compliments?

469
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:22,944
Perhaps.

470
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:25,154
Well, look, I'll just get to the point.

471
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,490
We've been close
for a few years now, right?

472
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,867
I mean, people know us, they love us.

473
00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:32,578
And with new overlords
popping up every day.

474
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:35,331
And before you hit me with a,
"Well, you're pretty new yourself,"

475
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:38,167
I know, okay,
but I'm much more forward-thinking,

476
00:23:38,251 --> 00:23:40,545
so it's in your best interest
to hear me out.

477
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:43,881
I'm listening, pal.
Barkeep, another whiskey.

478
00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:50,138
So, I've been thinking, Alastor,

479
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:55,017
with your incredible power
and my massive influence,

480
00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:57,520
we would be unstoppable.

481
00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:59,230
Radio and video.

482
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:04,485
Me and you-- we could rule Hell,
together, as partners.

483
00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:07,071
[chuckles softly]

484
00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:10,491
[laughing loudly]

485
00:24:10,575 --> 00:24:13,452
Oh, that's... Oh, you're serious?

486
00:24:13,536 --> 00:24:16,414
[laughs] Come now, Vox.

487
00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:19,167
[laughing loudly]

488
00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:23,671
I knew you could be pathetic at times,
but I didn't realize you were so weak.

489
00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:26,048
[chuckles] What?

490
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:30,178
Oh, fuck. [laughs loudly]

491
00:24:30,261 --> 00:24:32,889
You need me to join your team.

492
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,475
And here I thought you might
actually be approaching my level,

493
00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:38,978
but asking for assistance?

494
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:40,813
A partnership?

495
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:43,524
-I am quite disappointed in you.
-I...

496
00:24:43,608 --> 00:24:46,027
I just thought,
you know, since we were friends--

497
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:48,654
Friends?! There are no friends

498
00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:51,157
in Hell, Vincent. I thought
that was something you understood.

499
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,827
How embarrassing.

500
00:24:54,911 --> 00:25:00,333
Oh, the tantrum you threw after--
now that was entertainment.

501
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,501
[laughs loudly]

502
00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:06,589
I did really have to put you
in your place, didn't I? Ah.

503
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:09,634
And now you finally have me,

504
00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:16,224
but you still rely on others
for your power, like always.

505
00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:18,142
-[♪ "Don't You Forget (Reprise)" plays]
-♪ You think your little mockery ♪

506
00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:20,436
♪ is gonna make me cry? ♪

507
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:24,398
♪ That I'm bawling 'bout the past
that could have been? ♪

508
00:25:24,482 --> 00:25:26,150
♪ Look around ya, Al ♪

509
00:25:26,234 --> 00:25:28,152
♪ I've been scheming this whole time ♪

510
00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:31,530
♪ I got a team, I got a dream ♪

511
00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:35,493
♪ and all I'm gonna do is win ♪

512
00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:38,079
[laughing]

513
00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:40,748
♪ You're in my house with my rules ♪

514
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,541
♪ in my room with my tools ♪

515
00:25:42,625 --> 00:25:46,712
♪ And worse, you're at my mercy,
cursed to watch me take it all ♪

516
00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:49,131
♪ You've gone ass up, you're deep fried ♪

517
00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:51,217
♪ Your last luck has run dry ♪

518
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:55,179
♪ At last your check has cashed,
I'd laugh at how you look so small ♪

519
00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:57,056
♪ Don't you forget ♪

520
00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:59,976
♪ You're on my string ♪

521
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:03,604
♪ You can try to squirm and struggle
and it wouldn't do a thing ♪

522
00:26:03,688 --> 00:26:06,274
-♪ Don't you forget ♪
-You're so obsessed with me.

523
00:26:06,357 --> 00:26:09,944
♪ I knew you'd need me here
to be your unwilling audience ♪

524
00:26:10,027 --> 00:26:13,155
♪ when you lose your marbles
in act three ♪

525
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:17,868
♪ You're huffing glue if you think
I won't end this tale a ruler ♪

526
00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:21,998
♪ I'm just like you except
I'm smarter, sharper, brighter, newer ♪

527
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,791
♪ So I'll keep your smug ass alive ♪

528
00:26:23,874 --> 00:26:25,251
-To show me you're not a loser?
-Do you ever shut up?

529
00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:28,212
-♪ Don't you forget ♪
-Oh, here he goes.

530
00:26:28,296 --> 00:26:30,589
-♪ You ain't won yet ♪
-Ooh, I'm scared.

531
00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:35,261
-♪ You still need me like you did before ♪
-So cute you think I care.

532
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:37,096
[laughing loudly]

533
00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:41,225
♪ Now I'm the master
and you're my bottomest bitch ♪

534
00:26:41,309 --> 00:26:45,563
♪ No more Al, the high and mighty
now that I flipped the switch ♪

535
00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:49,775
♪ Though the radio's gone dead
you know the show must go on ♪

536
00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,736
♪ By the time I've had my fun ♪

537
00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:55,072
♪ you'll wish that you had stayed gone ♪♪

538
00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:57,491
[Vox laughs loudly]

539
00:26:57,575 --> 00:26:59,243
[both panting]

540
00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:01,829
[Valentino] Hey,
you two should just fuck already.

541
00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:05,791
What? Am I wrong?

542
00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:08,044
And can I film it?

543
00:27:09,086 --> 00:27:11,088
♪ ♪

544
00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:40,409
[neighing]

545
00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:42,078
[whip cracks]