1
00:00:02,657 --> 00:00:04,728
Hey, hey, hey.
Toss that in there.
2
00:00:04,866 --> 00:00:06,972
And don't believe it
when you read
there's no crime in this town.
3
00:00:07,110 --> 00:00:10,010
I stole that newspaper from
the neighbors this morning.
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,015
Ah, newspapers.
For people who like Tuesday's
news on Wednesday.
5
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,264
Wow, wow. Hey, hey,
aren't you afraid that much
noise is gonna hurt his brain?
6
00:00:23,402 --> 00:00:26,095
You've seen his report card.
Can't get much worse.
7
00:00:27,648 --> 00:00:31,824
Sadly, your grandfather has
seen worse. My last semester
was my first trimester.
8
00:00:35,621 --> 00:00:37,761
Carter. Carter.
You gotta turn that down, man.
9
00:00:37,899 --> 00:00:39,832
I want you to take that
garbage out. Come on, let's go.
10
00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:41,834
Oh...
I don't do that anymore.
11
00:00:41,972 --> 00:00:44,630
You seen your report card?
This could be your future.
12
00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:48,910
There was an incident. We don't
have to unpack the whole--
13
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,843
A raccoon made him cry.
14
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,262
- Really?
- I did not cry,
first off, okay?
15
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,402
It was a warrior scream, okay?
16
00:00:58,161 --> 00:01:00,405
It's basically a bear
with knives for fingers.
17
00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:02,545
It's like Nightmare
on Elm Street out here.
18
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,375
You're-You're kidding, right?
19
00:01:05,513 --> 00:01:07,205
Raccoons, they've been in this
neighborhood since I was a kid.
20
00:01:07,343 --> 00:01:09,069
They were here in the 1600s?
21
00:01:10,829 --> 00:01:13,107
I don't mind
taking out the trash.
22
00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:15,834
I like seeing the raccoon
since you won't
let us have a dog.
23
00:01:15,972 --> 00:01:18,181
You gotta
face your fears, okay?
24
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,528
I do that every time I ask you
how's it going.
25
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:22,910
Take the garbage out. Let's go.
26
00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:30,642
Coming.
27
00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:34,577
Hey, go on, come on.
Let's go, come on.
28
00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:36,372
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Come on, come on.
29
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:37,545
It's on the move!
30
00:01:39,651 --> 00:01:42,723
Carter, you gotta deal with
the raccoon, all right?
You're 16. You're a man now.
31
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:45,035
If you were Jewish,
you'd be middle-aged.
32
00:01:45,174 --> 00:01:48,073
He's more afraid of you
than you are of him.
33
00:01:48,211 --> 00:01:50,800
The only thing afraid
of Carter is a sandwich.
34
00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:06,436
Stitch, I can use
a little help over here.
35
00:02:06,574 --> 00:02:09,888
Oh, not right now. I'm updating
my dating profile
on Big and Smalls.
36
00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:11,510
Is that for people
who like hip-hop?
37
00:02:11,648 --> 00:02:12,753
Don't be racist.
38
00:02:14,272 --> 00:02:16,619
It's for big women
who like small men.
39
00:02:17,206 --> 00:02:18,759
How many dating sites
are you on?
40
00:02:18,897 --> 00:02:21,417
I'm on more apps than ranch
dressing in Applebee's.
41
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,800
I'm glad I'm off the apps
now that I'm on to Amelie.
42
00:02:26,387 --> 00:02:27,285
You know what I mean.
43
00:02:28,769 --> 00:02:29,701
I mean sexually.
44
00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:33,670
Oh, my God.
45
00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:37,916
I know you see me
as a spiritual being.
But the body has needs.
46
00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:40,608
No, I opened up another app.
Look.
47
00:02:42,127 --> 00:02:43,059
What the hell?
48
00:02:44,233 --> 00:02:46,096
Someone's catfishing as Riley.
49
00:02:46,235 --> 00:02:50,204
No, a catfisher would have used
a photo with more cleavage
and fewer kids.
50
00:02:52,033 --> 00:02:52,965
What are you guys up to?
51
00:02:53,621 --> 00:02:55,589
Oh, nothing.
52
00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:58,868
By the way, how does it feel
to be an affectionate
and loyal mama bear
53
00:02:59,006 --> 00:03:01,353
who's done hibernating
and ready to forage?
54
00:03:01,491 --> 00:03:04,287
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
55
00:03:04,425 --> 00:03:05,771
How did you find me?
56
00:03:05,909 --> 00:03:10,051
You hit my very specific
age range, 24 to 68.
57
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,984
Are you sure you're ready
for the dating apps?
58
00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:14,918
I mean, the only guys
that go on there
are creepers and pervos.
59
00:03:15,056 --> 00:03:16,886
Bro, I just said I was on it.
60
00:03:17,852 --> 00:03:19,026
I know.
61
00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:21,822
Well, I haven't been
on a date in 17 years,
62
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,134
and let's face it, I'm not
getting any younger.
63
00:03:24,273 --> 00:03:26,102
Well, your profile says
you're 31.
64
00:03:27,034 --> 00:03:28,863
I was very recently 31.
65
00:03:30,796 --> 00:03:34,662
Well, as long as you're lying,
maybe you don't wanna say
you're a single mom.
66
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,769
Hey, if a guy doesn't wanna
date me because I'm divorced
67
00:03:37,907 --> 00:03:40,944
or I have kids or I live
with my dad or I'm in debt...
68
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:44,224
I forgot my point,
but now I need a drink.
69
00:03:47,123 --> 00:03:48,607
So, I guess you're
over Gabe now.
70
00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:50,644
Well, my head is over Gabe.
71
00:03:50,782 --> 00:03:52,473
I know it's not logical
to be into a guy
72
00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:55,027
who's happy with his
sexy blonde girlfriend,
73
00:03:55,165 --> 00:03:57,927
but my heart is like...
..."Get the precious."
74
00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:05,486
Hey, Carter. I wanna take care
of that raccoon, okay?
75
00:04:06,832 --> 00:04:08,662
Uh,
way ahead of you, Pops.
76
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,698
Will you just hang out here
in the house and
hope you outlive it?
77
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:13,736
What?
78
00:04:15,151 --> 00:04:17,049
- Hey.
- Hi, I'm Chris.
I'm looking for Carter.
79
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:19,120
Well, you're gonna
need a bigger cage.
80
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,264
No, Carter hired me
to get rid of a raccoon.
81
00:04:24,402 --> 00:04:27,957
What the...
You hired an exterminator
to help you face your fears?
82
00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:29,683
It's the pros
of being a working man,
83
00:04:29,821 --> 00:04:31,892
you can outsource your work.
84
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:35,930
Well, I'm not
just an exterminator.
I'm a chore rabbit.
85
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:40,452
I also do graphic design,
but, uh, my true passion
is improv comedy.
86
00:04:41,764 --> 00:04:43,075
I can get you on the email
list if you want.
87
00:04:43,213 --> 00:04:46,734
We do four shows a week.
They are very long.
88
00:04:46,872 --> 00:04:51,912
This is like the Swiss
army knife of useless things.
Kinda like the Swiss Army.
89
00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,984
That's funny. That is good.
Have you ever thought about
doing improv?
90
00:04:55,122 --> 00:04:56,503
No.
91
00:04:57,504 --> 00:04:59,678
Actually, the first rule of
improv is that you never say--
92
00:04:59,816 --> 00:05:02,094
No. Yeah.
93
00:05:02,232 --> 00:05:05,581
Yeah, I saw
the raccoon out back
hanging out by the trash cans.
94
00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:09,309
He looked pretty mean. And
no way did he ever make me cry.
95
00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:11,483
Okay.
96
00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:13,485
I'm sorry to send you away,
97
00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:16,592
but my grandson is gonna
take care of the raccoon,
so thanks anyway.
98
00:05:16,730 --> 00:05:18,870
Okay. Well, I'm gonna have to
charge you unless you bring
five to 30 friends
99
00:05:19,008 --> 00:05:20,320
to my show on Thursday.
100
00:05:25,186 --> 00:05:27,637
What are you doing?
You can't hire people
to do stuff you're scared of.
101
00:05:27,775 --> 00:05:29,052
That's a job for a nanny.
102
00:05:30,606 --> 00:05:32,884
Listen, are you familiar
with Marcus Aurelius?
103
00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:35,127
Oh, you mean
hot tub Mark from Love Island.
104
00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:39,994
No. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman
emperor and stoic philosopher.
105
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:44,827
He talked about the value
of doing difficult things
to make us stronger men.
106
00:05:44,965 --> 00:05:47,312
Sounds like he needs
a little hot tub time.
107
00:05:47,450 --> 00:05:49,590
All right.
Let's forget Marcus Aurelius.
108
00:05:49,728 --> 00:05:54,250
Let's, um... Uh...
Remember when we saw Rocky III?
109
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,425
- Oh, yeah, with Mr. T.
- Yeah.
110
00:05:56,563 --> 00:05:59,911
I pity the fool
who don't like a hot tub.
111
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:03,052
Yeah, that was it. But it
was... Remember Rocky facing
off against Mr. T, right?
112
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:05,054
And then Rocky...
113
00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:06,849
"Adrian, what do you want me
to say, Adrian. Adrian!
114
00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:08,368
I'm scared.
You know, I'm scared."
115
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:12,233
Oh, so the raccoon is my Mr. T.
116
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,720
Yes, yes.
You got it, you got it.
Then you'll face that fear.
117
00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:17,584
You'll get through it
and you'll learn
118
00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:19,758
how to do it yourself
and you feel better about it.
119
00:06:19,896 --> 00:06:23,279
It'll be like
building Lego Gandalf
without the instructions.
120
00:06:26,109 --> 00:06:27,007
What?
121
00:06:28,629 --> 00:06:32,184
Wow. We needed nerds
to win the Cold War,
but at what cost?
122
00:06:34,739 --> 00:06:36,982
Guess who matched
with the guy and set a date.
123
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,400
That's right. Turns out someone
does like an honest 30...
...year-old.
124
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,887
Let me get this straight, in
one day you found a stranger,
125
00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:47,337
you gave him your number
and you planned a date.
126
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,375
You're definitely
getting murdered.
127
00:06:50,513 --> 00:06:52,550
Stop. Maybe he is the one.
128
00:06:52,688 --> 00:06:55,138
Yeah, the one
who will kill you.
129
00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:59,729
Tom's really sweet. We've been
texting quite a bit
and he seems really cultured.
130
00:06:59,867 --> 00:07:02,422
He sends GIFs
from the British Office.
131
00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,425
You know who else
liked the British office?
Jack the Ripper.
132
00:07:06,149 --> 00:07:08,531
- So, where are you guys going?
- Red Brick Tavern.
133
00:07:08,669 --> 00:07:10,360
Maybe we should go
and make sure you're safe.
134
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:12,984
- No.
- You can't trust somebody
until you look them in the eye.
135
00:07:13,122 --> 00:07:16,021
I once dated a girl
I was sure was gonna kill me,
136
00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:17,851
but instead
she killed the neighbor.
137
00:07:19,059 --> 00:07:21,475
Sex was wild. I dated her
for another six months.
138
00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:30,657
Oh, wow. You look pretty.
139
00:07:30,795 --> 00:07:32,624
Oh, stop.
Not really, keep going.
140
00:07:33,522 --> 00:07:35,834
You're going to court
for that speeding ticket?
141
00:07:35,972 --> 00:07:38,492
'Cause that deep V
is good for that.
142
00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:44,049
Inappropriate, but, right?
I, uh... I have a date.
143
00:07:44,187 --> 00:07:45,603
- Oh, where'd you meet him?
- Dating app.
144
00:07:45,741 --> 00:07:48,088
- Cancel.
- What? Why?
145
00:07:48,226 --> 00:07:49,952
I'm nervous as it is.
Don't make me feel guilty.
146
00:07:51,091 --> 00:07:53,196
Last time I said that
was also on a date.
147
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:56,924
Dating apps are like
90% serial killers.
148
00:07:57,062 --> 00:08:00,376
I just listened to a true crime
podcast called Swipe to Death.
149
00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:04,794
I really need to put one
of those parental locks
on your phone.
150
00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:07,003
Can you show me how to do that?
151
00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:12,699
You should
leave some DNA on him.
Hair is fine, blood is ideal.
152
00:08:14,804 --> 00:08:17,807
And whatever you do,
do not go to second location.
153
00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:20,741
Well, now I'm excited
to find love.
154
00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:23,364
If anything happens,
can I have your purses?
155
00:08:27,437 --> 00:08:29,405
Hey, I'm meeting a guy.
156
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,373
He's tall, cute,
will impress all my friends
at my high school reunion.
157
00:08:34,652 --> 00:08:35,963
You've got to be kidding me.
158
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:39,829
Gabe, what the hell
are you doing here?
159
00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:43,730
Being a good friend
and enjoying this delightful
dragonfruit mojito.
160
00:08:45,179 --> 00:08:47,319
I told you,
you don't need to do this.
161
00:08:47,457 --> 00:08:51,910
Oh, really? 'Cause I saw
your date casing the exits
when he walked in, very suss.
162
00:08:53,222 --> 00:08:56,950
He's either a murderer,
a robber, or he has IBS.
163
00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:00,540
You're insane.
164
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,267
And so is that.
I'm getting one.
165
00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:09,238
Hi, I'm Riley. You must be Tom.
166
00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:12,586
Unless Tom has an
identical twin, in which case, jackpot.
167
00:09:13,829 --> 00:09:16,176
Uh...
Did I say I'm Riley?
168
00:09:16,314 --> 00:09:18,558
I am Tom. It's nice
to meet you. You look great.
169
00:09:21,319 --> 00:09:23,770
Okay.
170
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:27,394
And, uh, I just happened to
run into my friend over there.
171
00:09:29,051 --> 00:09:30,570
He's mentally ill.
172
00:09:32,502 --> 00:09:34,953
And, uh, he loves
the spicy marg.
173
00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:37,887
Well, I guess you could say
he's jalapeno business.
174
00:09:39,682 --> 00:09:42,478
Oh, God. I promised my daughter
I wouldn't make a dad joke.
175
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,204
- Oh, you have a daughter?
- I do not.
176
00:09:48,657 --> 00:09:52,799
Okay, time to focus here.
Carter, put your phone down.
177
00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:56,319
I'm trying to score
a K-pop demon hunter Funko Pop
on eBay. This is urgent.
178
00:09:56,457 --> 00:09:58,183
Oh.
179
00:09:58,321 --> 00:10:00,841
How about some English? Time
to stay vigilant, kid, okay?
180
00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:04,880
I really wish you'd met
your great grandpa.
181
00:10:05,018 --> 00:10:06,744
He's a great guy,
good inspiration for me.
182
00:10:06,882 --> 00:10:09,160
I was in the high school
football championships, right?
183
00:10:09,298 --> 00:10:10,610
Oh, as a player
or a cheerleader
184
00:10:13,026 --> 00:10:15,304
I'm going to pretend
that you didn't just say that.
185
00:10:16,305 --> 00:10:18,997
I was a receiver, right?
Went over the middle
and I got cracked.
186
00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:21,413
I got hurt bad.
187
00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:23,381
You know, and I'm limping off
the field, and I was scared
I couldn't go back in there.
188
00:10:23,519 --> 00:10:25,348
And my dad was
in the sidelines,
189
00:10:25,486 --> 00:10:28,075
and he goes, "Listen,
face your fear, face your pain,
190
00:10:28,213 --> 00:10:30,595
go back in there
and do it for your team."
191
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,355
And you scored
the winning touchdown, Pops?
192
00:10:32,493 --> 00:10:34,495
No, I did not. Um...
193
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:38,016
I jumped offsides twice
and then threw up on my shoes.
194
00:10:40,329 --> 00:10:43,332
But I faced my fears
and I felt like a man that day.
195
00:10:44,057 --> 00:10:47,025
Sounds like that was
the day he forced you
to play with a concussion.
196
00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:50,373
No, no. They hadn't invented
concussions yet.
197
00:10:50,511 --> 00:10:53,998
You know, or peanut allergies
or deep feelings.
198
00:10:54,136 --> 00:10:57,139
You know, early brain trauma
could explain your sudden
outbursts of anger.
199
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,661
Or your slow simmering anger.
200
00:11:06,217 --> 00:11:10,221
It's go time.
Show that raccoon who is boss.
201
00:11:10,359 --> 00:11:11,878
- Your boy.
- It's go time.
202
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:18,850
It's just me, geez.
203
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,370
What are you doing?
204
00:11:21,508 --> 00:11:24,200
I'm recycling. Despite
what you say, it's not a hoax.
205
00:11:25,615 --> 00:11:28,135
You scared away the raccoon
we're waiting for.
206
00:11:28,273 --> 00:11:29,965
Isn't that
what you're trying to do?
207
00:11:33,589 --> 00:11:35,902
- Hate when she's right.
- Spoken like a true man.
208
00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:44,117
I can't believe
you're actually here.
209
00:11:44,255 --> 00:11:46,360
You only know that
because you're also here.
210
00:11:48,569 --> 00:11:51,262
Just protecting Riley
from a crazy stranger.
211
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,333
And I'm protecting her
from a crazy friend.
212
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,957
Yeah.
Crazy about these mojitos.
213
00:11:57,924 --> 00:12:01,548
Come on, man, you can't mess up
her first date she had
in 17 years.
214
00:12:01,686 --> 00:12:04,793
My grandmama
hard candy dish get
more action than she does.
215
00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:10,453
She's like a sister to me.
Yeah, I just want to make sure
that she's okay.
216
00:12:10,591 --> 00:12:12,524
She's got no idea what
she's doing. Just look at her.
217
00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:17,944
That was hard to watch.
218
00:12:21,326 --> 00:12:23,915
When your dad wasn't on tour,
did you guys do
any like, guy stuff
219
00:12:24,053 --> 00:12:26,400
like build anything
or-or go fishing, really?
220
00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:29,956
Kinda. I mean,
one time he stole a lobster
221
00:12:30,094 --> 00:12:32,130
out of a fish tank
at a Chinese restaurant.
222
00:12:34,098 --> 00:12:37,757
So cool.
Lost the tip of his pinky.
223
00:12:39,172 --> 00:12:40,173
That is a weird story.
224
00:12:42,485 --> 00:12:44,660
Who's like, the male idol
of your generation?
225
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,766
Uh, Timmy Chalamet, obvs.
226
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:52,564
A bird-legged Willy Wonka made
love to a peach. Makes sense.
227
00:12:52,702 --> 00:12:54,566
All the girls love him
because he's sensitive,
228
00:12:54,704 --> 00:12:56,776
has great style
and amazing hair.
229
00:12:56,914 --> 00:12:58,778
So, your male
role model's a woman.
230
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,608
Yes, but she loves the Knicks.
231
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,371
We had a lot of role models
as a kid, you know?
232
00:13:06,509 --> 00:13:10,755
Clint Eastwood, John Wayne,
the Marlboro man on a horse.
233
00:13:10,893 --> 00:13:14,103
Big, manly guy riding a horse,
smoking a cigarette.
234
00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:18,728
He was a man's man
until the last agonizing days
on a respirator.
235
00:13:25,977 --> 00:13:28,635
Hey, thanks for helping me
get over my fears, Pops.
236
00:13:29,532 --> 00:13:31,155
You can make
a pretty good cheerleader.
237
00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:34,054
I'm gonna pretend
you didn't just say that.
238
00:13:35,297 --> 00:13:37,057
And I'm proud of you
for doing this.
239
00:13:37,195 --> 00:13:39,335
- Really, you're proud of me?
- Yeah.
240
00:13:40,405 --> 00:13:43,477
Oh, my God. I'm gonna
put this in my diary once
I find that tiny key. I know...
241
00:13:51,485 --> 00:13:52,486
It's go time.
242
00:13:53,729 --> 00:13:55,835
Let's go show that raccoon
who's boss. Come on, come on.
243
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,079
Get the marshmallows,
get the marshmallows.
244
00:13:59,217 --> 00:14:01,047
Ooh, about that.
245
00:14:03,359 --> 00:14:05,361
I didn't think we'd need 'em,
so I ate 'em.
246
00:14:08,399 --> 00:14:10,159
And before you ask,
I didn't save you any.
247
00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:15,371
So, uh, what do you do
for a living?
248
00:14:18,823 --> 00:14:19,859
Oh.
249
00:14:19,997 --> 00:14:23,172
Do you have
a problem with cops?
250
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:26,935
Only a criminal would have
a problem with cops.
251
00:14:31,353 --> 00:14:35,426
Right.
So, back to my question.
What do you do for a living?
252
00:14:35,564 --> 00:14:38,187
Whoa.
A lot of questions.
253
00:14:38,981 --> 00:14:44,884
Are you a cop? Kidding.
I'm in...
...business.
254
00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:48,715
Cool, cool. Love business.
255
00:14:50,959 --> 00:14:53,893
Hey, have you ever
heard or been on
the podcast Swiped To Death?
256
00:14:56,447 --> 00:14:58,035
Does Riley look uncomfortable?
257
00:14:59,381 --> 00:15:01,901
She always look that way.
I think it's resting
wedgie face.
258
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,871
Come on, man,
be honest with me.
259
00:15:07,009 --> 00:15:09,460
You're only here
because you still have
feelings for Riley, right?
260
00:15:09,598 --> 00:15:12,428
Whoa.
261
00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:15,984
I'm with Amelie, okay?
She's my girlfriend.
262
00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:21,196
Riley is my girl friend.
Girlfriend. Girl friend?
You know what I'm saying?
263
00:15:26,304 --> 00:15:29,273
I asked you a question. Do you
still have feelings for Riley?
264
00:15:30,205 --> 00:15:34,416
No. N-O. Nay. No in Spanish.
265
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:39,041
All right, well,
come on, man, let's go.
266
00:15:39,179 --> 00:15:42,148
Yeah, she's doing fine.
All right.
267
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,014
Is everything okay?
268
00:15:46,152 --> 00:15:48,602
Okay? It's great.
269
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,846
Cause if you want,
we can go somewhere else.
270
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,953
You mean like
a second location?
271
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:57,957
Oops.
272
00:16:08,174 --> 00:16:10,555
Move a little closer.
Force him in the Dimone's yard.
273
00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:12,661
Serves him right for getting
the trampoline, right?
274
00:16:14,076 --> 00:16:16,561
Come on, you got to
make eye contact.
Show him who's boss.
275
00:16:16,699 --> 00:16:17,977
Otherwise the thing's
gonna stay in the yard.
276
00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:23,534
What happened?
277
00:16:24,569 --> 00:16:26,226
- I don't know. I froze.
- You got scared.
278
00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:28,263
Yeah, knives for fingers.
279
00:16:28,401 --> 00:16:30,713
We've been talking
about this all day.
You gotta to face your fears.
280
00:16:30,851 --> 00:16:33,440
- Haven't you been
listening to me at all?
- I tried.
281
00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:35,615
Tried? You can't try.
You either do or you don't.
282
00:16:35,753 --> 00:16:38,135
And now he's not gonna leave.
Now he owns this property.
283
00:16:38,273 --> 00:16:39,550
I'm fine with that.
284
00:16:39,688 --> 00:16:41,276
Fine with never coming back
in the yard again?
285
00:16:41,414 --> 00:16:43,519
I'm sorry I'm not
man enough for you.
286
00:16:43,657 --> 00:16:46,591
This isn't about me.
I'm here to help you.
287
00:16:46,729 --> 00:16:48,490
Yes, so you can have a grandson
you're actually proud of.
288
00:16:53,391 --> 00:16:57,257
So, um,
what is the second location
you have in mind?
289
00:16:57,395 --> 00:17:00,674
Say it loudly and clearly
as if you're speaking to
the whole restaurant.
290
00:17:02,262 --> 00:17:04,782
It's this great wine bar
called the Cab Cave.
291
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:08,096
Ooh. Underground.
Love that. Um...
292
00:17:09,304 --> 00:17:11,582
Just give me a second,
I have to check on my daughter.
293
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,618
You should.
There's no service there.
294
00:17:15,724 --> 00:17:16,794
Perfect.
295
00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:22,386
Did you mean
to send this to me?
296
00:17:23,456 --> 00:17:29,151
"Gabe, Tom is for sure
a murderer. He's taking me
to a cave. I left DNA."
297
00:17:29,289 --> 00:17:34,260
Oh, my God. Autocorrect must
have changed "sweet and cute"
to "for sure murderer."
298
00:17:35,123 --> 00:17:38,022
Am I really giving off
a serial killer vibe?
299
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,749
I mean, uh...
I don't know because
I've never met one, right?
300
00:17:43,441 --> 00:17:45,961
- I'm actually a cop.
- You are?
301
00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:48,584
Then why did you act all weird
when those guys came in?
302
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,760
'Cause they're my friends.
303
00:17:51,898 --> 00:17:54,003
I-I don't put on the apps
that I'm a cop
304
00:17:54,142 --> 00:17:57,904
because honestly, women
are way too into the uniform.
305
00:17:58,042 --> 00:18:01,666
Oh, yeah. Uh, I get it.
That's how I felt when I worked
at Hot Dog on a Stick.
306
00:18:03,461 --> 00:18:05,705
You did?
Do you still have the hat?
307
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,157
I'm such an idiot.
308
00:18:09,295 --> 00:18:11,849
I'm so sorry for the text
and for everything
I said before that
309
00:18:11,987 --> 00:18:13,471
and for what I'm saying now.
310
00:18:13,609 --> 00:18:16,336
- And this is not
my shining moment.
- It's okay.
311
00:18:16,474 --> 00:18:19,546
I'm just trying to
get back into the dating game
after 17 years, which, yes...
312
00:18:19,684 --> 00:18:22,549
Yes, if you do the math,
I lied about my age,
but I have to lie.
313
00:18:22,687 --> 00:18:25,552
I'm 34, which is
like a hundred in LA.
314
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:29,315
There's a raccoon in my house
which isn't even my house,
it's my dad's house
315
00:18:29,453 --> 00:18:32,835
and I know I told you
both my kids are smart,
but only one of them is.
316
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,840
- And if we're being honest--
- I think you're being
too honest.
317
00:18:37,978 --> 00:18:40,981
I'm... I'm still
hung up on that guy
who was sitting over there.
318
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,121
Your mentally-ill friend?
319
00:18:45,365 --> 00:18:47,885
He's not mentally ill. I just
said that cause I'm a liar.
I lied to a cop.
320
00:18:52,027 --> 00:18:54,202
So nice meeting you.
I should go.
321
00:18:54,823 --> 00:18:57,584
- Um, you're so nice.
- Good luck.
322
00:19:02,555 --> 00:19:04,453
Wow, killing some zombies, huh?
323
00:19:05,351 --> 00:19:07,594
Can't kill zombies.
They're already dead, duh.
324
00:19:09,631 --> 00:19:13,531
Carter, come on, listen.
That was rough and I didn't
mean that, you know, I...
325
00:19:15,878 --> 00:19:16,707
I'm sorry.
326
00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:18,985
Whatevs. NBD.
327
00:19:20,331 --> 00:19:22,816
If we're gonna do this,
I need some vowels.
328
00:19:24,473 --> 00:19:25,923
You're disappointed
in me again.
329
00:19:26,061 --> 00:19:28,443
No, I'm not disappointed
in you. It's... This is on me.
330
00:19:28,581 --> 00:19:30,617
This is about
me and my dad to me.
331
00:19:30,755 --> 00:19:32,481
And he was such a hard-ass,
you know.
332
00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:35,760
I wanted to be
an artist my whole life.
He just didn't get it.
333
00:19:35,898 --> 00:19:38,729
He wanted me to, you know,
follow in the machine shop,
be a machinist
334
00:19:38,867 --> 00:19:40,834
because that, you know,
that's what men do.
335
00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:42,664
I mean, he's not wrong.
336
00:19:45,356 --> 00:19:48,532
I just never had the courage to
tell him what I really wanted,
you know.
337
00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:51,673
He wasn't a raccoon
but I was scared of him.
338
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:55,884
And to be honest,
in the right light,
their eyes looked very similar.
339
00:19:58,369 --> 00:19:59,543
What a weird story.
340
00:20:01,372 --> 00:20:03,581
I just... I don't want to push
you like he pushed me.
341
00:20:05,928 --> 00:20:07,482
Thanks, Pops.
342
00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:12,970
If there was a draft... for
grandson, you'd be first pick.
343
00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:18,009
That's a sports analogy
and I don't expect you
to know a sports analogy.
344
00:20:18,147 --> 00:20:20,667
- It's just--
- No, no, no, I get it.
I watch e-sports.
345
00:20:22,807 --> 00:20:25,224
E-sports? That's like
the tofurky of sports.
346
00:20:28,157 --> 00:20:30,263
That's not pushing,
that's mocking.
347
00:20:37,477 --> 00:20:39,307
She caught the raccoon.
348
00:20:41,101 --> 00:20:44,933
Well, that's the good news.
Bad news is we may have to
talk to her again.
349
00:20:47,176 --> 00:20:49,765
I caught the critter. A lot of
families like to say goodbye.
350
00:20:49,903 --> 00:20:50,939
Not this one.
351
00:20:52,423 --> 00:20:54,287
- Actually, I do.
- Careful, Carter.
352
00:20:54,425 --> 00:20:56,807
This is not like the raccoon
from Guardians of the Galaxy.
353
00:20:56,945 --> 00:20:58,774
Less sassy, more rabies.
354
00:20:59,844 --> 00:21:01,398
Okay. I want to face my fears.
355
00:21:03,469 --> 00:21:04,953
I love this for you, Carter.
356
00:21:07,335 --> 00:21:08,474
What? I'm being nice.
357
00:21:10,924 --> 00:21:12,167
It's actually kind of cute.
358
00:21:12,961 --> 00:21:14,652
- Let's have him free.
- Well, you're the boss.
359
00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:16,413
No, he's not the boss.
Don't... What are you doing?
360
00:21:16,551 --> 00:21:17,724
Let him free. Let's see him.
361
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,454
Now we got to move.