1
00:00:02,519 --> 00:00:03,658
Hey, Dad, guess what?
2
00:00:04,176 --> 00:00:07,628
Life isn't always
a blistering wound
of chaos and despair.
3
00:00:09,526 --> 00:00:11,218
Look who's in a cheery mood.
4
00:00:11,839 --> 00:00:15,084
Some bookstore must have closed
and turned into
a new dispensary, huh?
5
00:00:16,706 --> 00:00:18,880
I went to an estate sale.
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,710
This lady had
the coolest stuff,
7
00:00:20,848 --> 00:00:24,024
and after I eliminated
everything she could have
died in, on, or under,
8
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,612
I bought this.
9
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:30,513
Huh. Actually looks like
a knockoff of a Frank Matranga,
10
00:00:30,651 --> 00:00:33,343
- a very famous
California potter...
- Hmm.
11
00:00:33,481 --> 00:00:36,105
...but I'm sure the only potter
you know is Harry.
12
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,937
Business has been great,
so I thought
I'd treat myself.
13
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,697
And I haven't bought any art
14
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:44,734
since I got that poster
of a cat reading the newspaper
on the toilet
15
00:00:44,872 --> 00:00:46,460
that I hung above the toilet.
16
00:00:47,288 --> 00:00:53,260
Uh, hey. Um, you know
where that would fit
is up in my guest room.
17
00:00:54,019 --> 00:00:55,365
You mean my room?
18
00:00:55,503 --> 00:00:57,229
I thought you liked it.
19
00:00:57,367 --> 00:00:59,921
I do like it. It just
doesn't fit the aesthetic here
I've got going on.
20
00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:02,959
I'll put it like a millennial.
21
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,650
I don't like the vibe, bro.
22
00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,791
What about my vibe, dude?
23
00:01:08,654 --> 00:01:10,863
God forbid I should have
one thing in this house.
24
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:12,106
Uh, well, you got two things.
25
00:01:12,244 --> 00:01:13,487
Georgia and that other one.
26
00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:16,593
Carlson. Carl. That guy.
27
00:01:16,731 --> 00:01:17,767
What was his name?
28
00:01:18,388 --> 00:01:20,010
Hey, guys.
29
00:01:20,149 --> 00:01:23,531
This is Carlos Joaquín
de la Mancha Kobe Bryant
Martinez...
30
00:01:24,256 --> 00:01:25,430
...but you can
call him Charlie.
31
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:27,811
Oh, he's so cute and tiny.
32
00:01:27,949 --> 00:01:30,020
- Kind of makes me
wanna have another--
- No.
33
00:01:30,745 --> 00:01:32,506
A dog.
34
00:01:32,644 --> 00:01:35,060
Where? Hiding behind
that little white rat?
35
00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:39,271
Lily's family
needs someone to dog-sit
while they're in San Diego.
36
00:01:39,409 --> 00:01:41,722
For a funeral,
not for something fun.
37
00:01:42,619 --> 00:01:45,691
Actually, we are going to
SeaWorld after the funeral
and LEGOLAND.
38
00:01:45,829 --> 00:01:47,486
It... I-It's not important.
39
00:01:48,004 --> 00:01:50,800
I told them we could
watch Charlie, if that's okay.
40
00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:53,147
- Of course.
- How about asking
the homeowner?
41
00:01:53,285 --> 00:01:54,769
Please, Grandpa.
42
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:56,599
He's adorbs.
43
00:01:56,737 --> 00:01:59,705
Who's gonna boost
my TikTok viewer retention?
44
00:01:59,843 --> 00:02:00,982
You are.
45
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,950
Who's gonna stay in a kennel
all weekend?
46
00:02:03,088 --> 00:02:04,262
You are.
47
00:02:16,826 --> 00:02:17,965
Come on, Charlie.
48
00:02:18,103 --> 00:02:19,691
He's here.
49
00:02:19,829 --> 00:02:22,659
Charlie, let's get you
into hair and makeup
for our first video.
50
00:02:24,799 --> 00:02:25,800
Why is he wearing a vest?
51
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,526
Is he parking cars now?
52
00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:30,978
No, he's
an emotional support animal.
53
00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:32,600
What emotions does he support?
54
00:02:33,118 --> 00:02:35,189
The only ones I feel
are shame and embarrassment.
55
00:02:36,708 --> 00:02:38,399
Ignore him.
56
00:02:38,537 --> 00:02:41,264
The only emotional
support animal he believes in
is slow-cooked pork.
57
00:02:42,714 --> 00:02:44,233
Why are you being such a pain?
58
00:02:44,371 --> 00:02:46,269
- You like dogs.
- I love dogs,
59
00:02:46,407 --> 00:02:48,375
but I like
full-size regular dogs.
60
00:02:48,513 --> 00:02:49,997
Labradors, Rottweilers.
61
00:02:50,135 --> 00:02:53,345
That thing looks like
Colonel Sanders
made it with a Labubu.
62
00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:58,108
Is that all his stuff?
63
00:02:58,247 --> 00:03:00,628
Yeah, these are
Charlie's treats, which aren't
as good as they look.
64
00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,844
Look, if they didn't want me
to eat 'em,
65
00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,157
shouldn't have made them
look like little sausages.
66
00:03:14,953 --> 00:03:18,025
- Oh, and here's
his antianxiety meds.
- Ooh.
67
00:03:18,163 --> 00:03:21,891
- Riley.
- What? I'm not stealing pills
from a dog.
68
00:03:22,547 --> 00:03:23,996
The dosage is way too low.
69
00:03:25,412 --> 00:03:27,137
Oh, and here's his food.
70
00:03:27,276 --> 00:03:29,761
Lily has him on
a strict meat-free diet.
71
00:03:29,899 --> 00:03:31,452
The dog is a vegan?
72
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:35,042
What else is in there?
Cashew lasagna
and a fear of effort?
73
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,287
Carter, put it down!
74
00:03:42,601 --> 00:03:45,086
What? I want healthy bones
and a shiny coat. Sue me.
75
00:03:48,952 --> 00:03:52,093
Yeah, this is gonna be
a badass Caddy.
You know what you should do
76
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,993
is get your schematics
and start listing
where you wanna go with this.
77
00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,926
You got it, boss.
I'll get it to you on Saturday.
78
00:03:57,064 --> 00:03:58,859
- All right, cool.
- You got a little hair on you.
79
00:03:58,997 --> 00:04:03,035
Damn.
I'm with that dog one day,
and I've got hair all over me.
80
00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:04,623
Give me... Give me that thing.
81
00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:06,729
You know,
I used to date a woman
that was into that.
82
00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:11,768
Man, she used to dress me up
like a Phillie Phanatic.
83
00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:14,633
Man, that woman was crazy.
84
00:04:15,945 --> 00:04:16,980
I should call her.
85
00:04:19,155 --> 00:04:21,295
Any on my back there?
Can you grab that?
86
00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:23,504
All right.
87
00:04:24,574 --> 00:04:27,577
I feel like I need consent
before I venture into
the badonkadonk.
88
00:04:28,682 --> 00:04:30,925
Just keep rolling before I
kick you in the badonkadonk.
89
00:04:31,892 --> 00:04:34,826
- Get that junk off
that dirty trunk.
- Easy.
90
00:04:36,483 --> 00:04:38,312
You guys really need
an HR department.
91
00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:39,865
We don't need an HR department.
92
00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:42,005
We like being mean
to each other around here.
93
00:04:43,455 --> 00:04:45,940
Hey, babe, you forgot
your toothbrush last night.
94
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,356
I didn't forget it.
95
00:04:47,494 --> 00:04:49,289
I thought maybe I could keep it
at your place
96
00:04:49,427 --> 00:04:51,083
since I'm spending
so much time there.
97
00:04:51,221 --> 00:04:52,947
You guys are getting serious.
98
00:04:53,638 --> 00:04:56,054
I never even used to
let women know where I live.
99
00:04:56,813 --> 00:05:00,058
My motto: "Go find the freaky.
Don't let the freaky find you."
100
00:05:01,611 --> 00:05:03,164
Well, we can't go to my place.
101
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,374
I've got three roommates,
and we're all dancers,
102
00:05:05,512 --> 00:05:07,134
so there's always one girl
in the shower
103
00:05:07,272 --> 00:05:09,550
and another wrapped in a towel
banging on the door.
104
00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:11,483
Mmm.
105
00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:15,315
You know what?
106
00:05:15,798 --> 00:05:17,178
- Let me help you out.
- Mmm.
107
00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:20,216
How about you
move in with Gabe,
and I move in with them?
108
00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:24,220
You moving in
does kind of make sense.
109
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,464
- Really?
- Yeah.
110
00:05:26,602 --> 00:05:28,776
You're there, like,
every night, and, I mean,
111
00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:30,502
you already moved in
your toothbrush.
112
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,436
Are you asking me
to move in with you?
113
00:05:34,989 --> 00:05:35,990
Stitch started it.
114
00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:40,581
But, yeah, why not?
115
00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:43,964
Not the most romantic thing
I've ever heard, but...
116
00:05:44,102 --> 00:05:46,553
Sure! Why not?
117
00:05:47,174 --> 00:05:50,729
- Wow, this is
so exciting.
- Whoo-hoo!
118
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:54,077
All right, I'm gonna go break
the news to my roommates.
119
00:05:54,215 --> 00:05:55,182
All right.
120
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,632
The naked ones?
121
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,428
Hey, I'll do it.
122
00:05:59,566 --> 00:06:01,430
Stitch,
it's a fourth-floor walk-up.
123
00:06:01,568 --> 00:06:02,569
I'll make it work.
124
00:06:09,748 --> 00:06:12,095
You know, you got no nuts.
That's empty calories.
125
00:06:13,683 --> 00:06:15,651
In his defense,
he's like an old sea captain
126
00:06:15,789 --> 00:06:17,894
scratching a leg that
hasn't been there for years.
127
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:23,693
Hey, Pops. Eve sent a picture
from her tour. Wanna see?
128
00:06:23,831 --> 00:06:26,006
No. If your phone's anything
like your laptop,
129
00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:27,939
I definitely don't wanna see
what's on there.
130
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:32,012
All right, but I'm here
when you're ready to heal, brochacho.
131
00:06:36,119 --> 00:06:40,054
Must be hard
hearing about Eve having all
these incredible adventures.
132
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:41,746
No, I'm having
my own adventure here
133
00:06:41,884 --> 00:06:44,127
looking at Gabe's punch list
for that Cadillac,
134
00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:47,890
and he keeps putting
a dancing girl emoji on here.
135
00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:50,893
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
136
00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:55,518
You just sent Gabe
an eggplant emoji.
137
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,658
Take the dog, okay?
138
00:06:57,796 --> 00:06:59,971
- I need the dog out of here.
- Oh, really?
139
00:07:00,109 --> 00:07:01,835
I can't have a vase.
I can't have a dog.
140
00:07:02,352 --> 00:07:04,941
I can't shout out the answers
during Wheel of Fortune.
141
00:07:05,942 --> 00:07:07,703
You already saw that episode.
142
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,050
It's the same thing
over and over.
143
00:07:10,188 --> 00:07:11,603
It's your house, your rules,
144
00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,916
your guest room I have to share
with your globe
145
00:07:14,054 --> 00:07:16,297
where you've blacked out
all the countries
that are communist.
146
00:07:17,402 --> 00:07:19,197
Don't I get any say?
147
00:07:19,335 --> 00:07:21,889
It was bad enough when I was
a teenager, but now I'm a mom,
148
00:07:22,027 --> 00:07:23,581
and I run my own business.
149
00:07:23,719 --> 00:07:25,824
And I'm a homeowner.
Why don't you get yourself
your own home?
150
00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:27,723
You know what? I will.
151
00:07:27,861 --> 00:07:30,311
- Well, good luck with that.
- I'm sick of
not feeling welcome
152
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,003
in what I thought was
my own home.
153
00:07:32,141 --> 00:07:33,625
What you thought was wrong.
154
00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:35,178
Okay, that's it!
155
00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:37,802
Consider this my notice.
We are moving out.
156
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:42,427
And for your information,
California's not
a communist country.
157
00:07:44,153 --> 00:07:45,603
Just give it time.
158
00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:52,368
Gabe just sent me
a heart emoji.
159
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,853
You started sending these.
Finish it off.
160
00:08:01,066 --> 00:08:03,448
Hey, do you guys know
any apartments
that are cheap but nice?
161
00:08:03,586 --> 00:08:06,658
'Cause the place I'm living in
is free but mean.
162
00:08:06,796 --> 00:08:08,591
Well, you know,
my neighbor's almost a hundred.
163
00:08:08,729 --> 00:08:11,629
I could startle him, tell him
I'm dating his granddaughter.
164
00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:14,424
Why would you wanna move out?
165
00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:16,806
You get to live with
Matt Parker.
166
00:08:16,944 --> 00:08:19,084
You should have seen
what he texted me yesterday.
167
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,848
I need my own space,
but apartments are
so expensive.
168
00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:27,092
Completely unrelated,
these lattes are now $200.
169
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:30,579
And don't forget to tip.
170
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:38,448
It's not gonna work.
You know why? Because
I don't think you're that cute.
171
00:08:38,587 --> 00:08:41,348
You're just an odd-looking dog.
That's all there is to it.
172
00:08:46,422 --> 00:08:48,424
All right, all right,
all right, all right,
all right, all right.
173
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,357
Okay, gosh.
174
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:52,290
Come in here.
175
00:08:52,946 --> 00:08:55,327
You know, the people that
really like you, they're gone.
176
00:08:56,156 --> 00:08:58,296
Maybe for the weekend.
Probably gone forever.
177
00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:01,989
Yeah, that's what Eve did
to me. Gone forever.
178
00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:06,891
Oh, boy.
179
00:09:11,861 --> 00:09:14,139
All right.
They're not gone forever.
180
00:09:14,277 --> 00:09:16,452
Look, don't tell anybody
I did that.
181
00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:20,318
Otherwise, I'll make you watch
those Sarah McLachlan
commercials.
182
00:09:20,456 --> 00:09:22,492
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
183
00:09:22,631 --> 00:09:24,080
Pretty spooky, right?
184
00:09:27,877 --> 00:09:30,639
All right. A little cozy
but cute.
185
00:09:30,777 --> 00:09:31,778
What do you guys think?
186
00:09:32,261 --> 00:09:33,538
Smells kinda weird.
187
00:09:35,471 --> 00:09:37,404
And that's from the guy
who's single-handedly keeping
188
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:39,061
"pull my finger" alive.
189
00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,236
Nice, huh?
190
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,791
But it's a competitive market.
You need to act fast.
191
00:09:44,929 --> 00:09:49,002
Look, she might fall for your
manufactured scarcity trick,
192
00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:51,418
but we both know
the market is softening.
193
00:09:51,556 --> 00:09:53,869
Pardon my daughter.
194
00:09:54,007 --> 00:09:56,734
She's getting her MBA from
the University of Shark Tank.
195
00:09:57,804 --> 00:10:00,116
Why don't you guys go check out
the bedrooms?
196
00:10:00,254 --> 00:10:03,085
Remember, I need
the bigger bedroom
for my crypto mining farm.
197
00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:05,018
Uh, sorry, no home businesses.
198
00:10:05,156 --> 00:10:07,434
It's not a business.
It's a lifestyle.
199
00:10:08,746 --> 00:10:11,196
Ignore her.
We're not high rollers.
200
00:10:12,025 --> 00:10:14,855
You didn't tell us we'd all
have to share a bathroom.
201
00:10:14,993 --> 00:10:17,513
Yeah, that's not gonna work
for me. I need my tub time.
202
00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:21,310
Is that what you're calling it?
203
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,554
I-I'll let you three discuss.
204
00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,041
Mom, we don't wanna live here.
205
00:10:28,179 --> 00:10:29,490
We love living at Grandpa's.
206
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,528
Yeah, his house is like
a fancy hotel.
207
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:35,255
In every room,
there's a TV and a Bible
208
00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:37,809
that he stole from
a fancy hotel.
209
00:10:39,362 --> 00:10:41,330
But we're living under
his thumb.
210
00:10:41,468 --> 00:10:44,713
Don't you hate
being bossed around
by an unforgiving tyrant?
211
00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:47,577
I mean, Georgia has been around
most of my life, so...
212
00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:52,686
When we lived in Vegas,
we almost never saw
Grandma and Grandpa.
213
00:10:52,824 --> 00:10:54,619
Now Grandma's gone.
214
00:10:54,757 --> 00:10:57,760
And the way Pops eats red meat,
clock's a-ticking.
215
00:10:59,313 --> 00:11:00,487
Okay, fine.
216
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,490
But don't worry, Grandpa's
gonna be here a long time.
217
00:11:03,628 --> 00:11:04,836
That's how evil works.
218
00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:11,774
All right, how about that?
Ooh, you like bacon, huh?
219
00:11:12,568 --> 00:11:15,433
That's good fat.
Well...
...not according to Riley.
220
00:11:15,571 --> 00:11:17,469
If she was here,
she'd say bad fat.
221
00:11:18,229 --> 00:11:19,748
Bad fat. Good fat.
222
00:11:19,886 --> 00:11:22,716
I mean, the country is divided.
Now fat's gotta make a choice.
223
00:11:25,201 --> 00:11:26,340
Yeah, you know what?
224
00:11:26,893 --> 00:11:29,102
I actually kinda like you,
you know?
225
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,413
Gotta say that, Chuck.
226
00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:34,107
Just two dudes watching
a little college basketball.
227
00:11:34,245 --> 00:11:35,798
What could be better, man?
228
00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:38,249
We don't need the women
telling us what to do today,
do we, you know?
229
00:11:38,387 --> 00:11:40,320
I did like Eve though, a lot.
230
00:11:41,424 --> 00:11:43,426
She's different.
Opposites attract sometimes.
231
00:11:43,564 --> 00:11:45,463
It's like...
...bacon and lettuce.
232
00:11:45,601 --> 00:11:48,742
I don't understand
why lettuce went to Korea
when bacon said, "I love you."
233
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,399
That seems
a little weird to me.
234
00:11:51,055 --> 00:11:52,815
I like her a lot though.
Should I text her?
235
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:56,508
Yeah, why would I text her?
She's the one that left, right?
236
00:11:57,095 --> 00:11:58,303
Hey, Pops.
237
00:11:58,441 --> 00:12:00,961
- Hey, Grandpa.
- Hey, where's your mom?
238
00:12:01,099 --> 00:12:03,274
Oh, she dropped us off.
She's going to Meditate.
239
00:12:03,412 --> 00:12:06,104
It's the name of
that new dispensary
that used to be a bookstore.
240
00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:09,280
What are you doing?
241
00:12:09,418 --> 00:12:11,247
Charlie's not allowed
to have bacon.
242
00:12:11,385 --> 00:12:14,285
You know what? I think
that's really a Saint Bernard
243
00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:17,081
trapped in a body
that didn't get enough protein.
244
00:12:17,702 --> 00:12:19,635
Pops, Lily said
he has a severe allergy.
245
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,189
Probably why he threw up
so much today.
246
00:12:23,087 --> 00:12:25,537
But I thought
it was the chorizo.
It's too spicy for a dog.
247
00:12:26,435 --> 00:12:27,816
You gave him chorizo too?
248
00:12:27,954 --> 00:12:29,852
Quite a bit of it.
249
00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:33,407
- We gotta take him to the vet.
- Pops, I know
I'm new to dating,
250
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:36,790
but if I kill Lily's dog,
I'm never getting
to first base.
251
00:12:36,928 --> 00:12:39,931
Trust me, that dog has eaten
a lot worse things
than what I gave it.
252
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,488
That's more than
that dog weighs.
253
00:12:45,626 --> 00:12:47,870
Okay, maybe we should
take the dog to the vet.
254
00:12:55,913 --> 00:12:58,053
Riley, what are you
doing here?
255
00:12:58,191 --> 00:13:02,091
I had to get away from my dad
before one of us murders
the other in their sleep.
256
00:13:02,747 --> 00:13:03,886
Me, I'm the murderer.
257
00:13:05,646 --> 00:13:08,788
Also, I brought
a housewarming gift
for you and Amelie.
258
00:13:10,997 --> 00:13:13,102
Oh, thank you.
259
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,035
This is so thoughtful.
260
00:13:15,173 --> 00:13:16,347
Where should I put it?
261
00:13:16,485 --> 00:13:19,246
Um, how about here?
262
00:13:21,973 --> 00:13:23,354
How's the apartment hunting
going?
263
00:13:23,492 --> 00:13:24,734
Terrible.
264
00:13:24,873 --> 00:13:27,496
Turns out it's tough
to beat free at my dad's place.
265
00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,809
Yeah, and if you did find
another place for free,
266
00:13:29,947 --> 00:13:31,811
you'd probably have to
call that guy "Daddy" too.
267
00:13:34,054 --> 00:13:35,780
What are you doing?
268
00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:38,231
I'm just getting rid of
some of my stuff to make room
for Amelie's stuff,
269
00:13:38,369 --> 00:13:42,476
because you can't make room
with a partner without
making room for a partner.
270
00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:44,789
I listened to a podcast.
271
00:13:44,927 --> 00:13:45,963
Ooh.
272
00:13:46,584 --> 00:13:48,172
Wow, big step. Good for you.
273
00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:49,414
Is it though?
274
00:13:50,036 --> 00:13:52,624
I just, you know, don't really
want to get rid of my stuff.
275
00:13:53,315 --> 00:13:55,593
Having second thoughts
about living together.
276
00:13:55,731 --> 00:13:57,595
Uh-oh, you getting cold feet?
277
00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:59,390
They're so cold,
I can't feel them.
278
00:14:00,701 --> 00:14:02,427
It happens to everybody.
279
00:14:02,565 --> 00:14:05,741
I got cold feet
right before I married that
stupid son of a bitch Jimmy.
280
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:09,158
But you and Amelie
are gonna be great.
281
00:14:10,919 --> 00:14:13,093
They're getting colder!
They're ice!
282
00:14:13,231 --> 00:14:15,095
Gabe, this could be
good for you.
283
00:14:15,233 --> 00:14:17,304
It's therapeutic to do
a little spring-cleaning.
284
00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:19,410
Get rid of stuff
that doesn't bring you joy.
285
00:14:21,170 --> 00:14:23,276
Good news, babe.
Oh, hey, Riley.
286
00:14:23,414 --> 00:14:26,520
I found some
amazing accent pillows.
287
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,039
Oh, great.
288
00:14:28,177 --> 00:14:30,904
Maybe you could use them
to smother my joy.
289
00:14:33,942 --> 00:14:36,530
- What?
- I've been talking to Riley.
290
00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:38,705
Yeah.
291
00:14:38,843 --> 00:14:41,397
I realize I'm making
a big mistake.
292
00:14:41,535 --> 00:14:42,640
I can't do this!
293
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,439
What did you say to him?
294
00:14:48,577 --> 00:14:50,441
I didn't say anything.
295
00:14:50,579 --> 00:14:52,270
I love an accent pillow,
296
00:14:52,408 --> 00:14:54,479
especially if it's
an Australian accent.
297
00:14:54,617 --> 00:14:58,276
Oh, crikey,
that's not a pillow.
That's a pillow.
298
00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:13,119
- What's he in for?
- He had a panic attack.
299
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,467
Maybe because you're making him
wear a bow tie.
300
00:15:16,985 --> 00:15:20,609
He kinda looks like a dancer
at a bachelorette strip party.
301
00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:24,026
He's dressed for his birthday,
and now you've ruined it.
302
00:15:27,616 --> 00:15:29,135
Hey, how was
house hunting today?
303
00:15:29,273 --> 00:15:30,895
Well, the places weren't great,
304
00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:32,897
but at least they were
out of our price range.
305
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,176
We told Mom
we don't wanna move.
306
00:15:36,314 --> 00:15:40,318
I just don't think at this age
I'm meant to live
an uncomfortable life.
307
00:15:41,595 --> 00:15:44,529
We love your place.
All the bathrooms have locks.
308
00:15:46,117 --> 00:15:48,154
I get the idea
your mom is miserable,
309
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:51,364
mostly 'cause she told me
I was making her miserable.
310
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,159
She doesn't mean it.
311
00:15:53,849 --> 00:15:57,473
In Vegas, we were always moving
from place to place.
She hated it.
312
00:15:58,474 --> 00:16:00,649
Remember that time
we lived at Circus Circus?
313
00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:02,962
It was awful awful.
314
00:16:04,239 --> 00:16:05,619
Oh, no, it wasn't.
315
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,036
The Elvis impersonator
taught me long division.
316
00:16:09,209 --> 00:16:12,178
Divide by two, carry the hunk,
a hunk of burning one.
317
00:16:14,456 --> 00:16:16,906
I think Mom just wants a place
that she can call her own.
318
00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:20,980
She never told me any of this.
319
00:16:22,326 --> 00:16:23,396
- Oh, look.
- Charlie is fine.
320
00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:24,845
You can take him home.
321
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,365
Thanks, Doc. You're helping
a young boy become a man.
322
00:16:27,503 --> 00:16:28,677
Yeah.
323
00:16:28,815 --> 00:16:30,886
How much do you charge
to neuter a kid?
324
00:16:32,336 --> 00:16:33,820
Listen, uh, dog's okay though?
325
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,373
- Hundred percent.
- Excellent.
326
00:16:35,511 --> 00:16:37,997
Gave him a very thorough exam.
Top to bottom. Inside and out.
327
00:16:38,859 --> 00:16:39,999
Mmm.
328
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:42,346
Okay.
329
00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:43,864
What's going on?
330
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,866
Why is he having
second thoughts?
331
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,799
He's just freaking out about
getting rid of his stuff.
332
00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:50,664
It happened to my grandmother.
Of course, she was a hoarder,
333
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,391
and I was throwing away
a 14-year-old can of peaches.
334
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,290
What is with him?
335
00:16:55,428 --> 00:16:57,533
I don't understand why
he's hanging on to his junk.
336
00:16:57,671 --> 00:16:59,811
Don't all men like to
hang on to their junk?
337
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,643
The thing is,
it's not actually junk to Gabe.
338
00:17:03,781 --> 00:17:05,817
Did he ever tell you about
his childhood?
339
00:17:06,715 --> 00:17:09,442
No. He never talks about
that stuff.
340
00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:12,445
Well, it was pretty crappy.
Not a lot of great memories.
341
00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:17,139
This stuff reminds him
of the good times.
Like, uh, this plastic cup.
342
00:17:17,277 --> 00:17:20,625
My dad took Gabe
and my brother to this game
the night Gabe's dad left.
343
00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:23,801
And then, uh, Gabe's dad
blew him off on his birthday,
344
00:17:23,939 --> 00:17:26,321
so we surprised him
with a trip to Medieval Times.
345
00:17:26,873 --> 00:17:29,462
And after,
I told the Green Knight
Gabe had stage four eczema,
346
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,257
so he let him pet
his horse.
347
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:34,915
I had no idea.
348
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,884
Now I feel bad that
I was pressuring Gabe
to get rid of his stuff.
349
00:17:38,022 --> 00:17:39,886
Well, maybe you
should tell him that.
350
00:17:40,714 --> 00:17:41,957
Hi.
351
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:46,962
I wasn't eavesdropping,
but, uh, I accept your apology.
352
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,034
Look, just so you know, you can
talk to me about anything.
353
00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:51,863
Even your childhood.
354
00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:53,624
I know. It's just...
355
00:17:54,245 --> 00:17:56,523
It's hard for me to talk about
things that make me sad.
356
00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:58,767
It's like when McDonald's
was serving breakfast all day,
357
00:17:58,905 --> 00:18:00,320
and then they just stopped.
358
00:18:01,149 --> 00:18:03,737
Yeah. With zero warning!
359
00:18:05,429 --> 00:18:06,430
Continue.
360
00:18:08,225 --> 00:18:09,467
It's gonna work out, babe.
361
00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:11,642
We're gonna be so happy here.
362
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:15,784
Okay.
363
00:18:17,786 --> 00:18:21,928
I should go, uh, with this.
364
00:18:22,411 --> 00:18:27,658
And I think I'll treat myself
to the director's cut
of Encino Man.
365
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:30,454
What a life I lead.
366
00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:35,493
Look at the tail on that thing.
367
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,670
You're watching Turner & Hooch?
368
00:18:39,808 --> 00:18:40,843
Yeah.
369
00:18:42,086 --> 00:18:44,295
That dog is
a good actor, right?
370
00:18:44,433 --> 00:18:46,539
That Tom Hanks,
uh, I don't know.
371
00:18:47,885 --> 00:18:50,129
Yeah, I know.
I just said that.
372
00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:53,442
By the way,
don't worry about the vase.
373
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:56,687
It's going back in my room.
Sorry, your guest room.
374
00:18:56,825 --> 00:18:59,207
How about just put it on
our credenza?
375
00:19:00,277 --> 00:19:02,244
Wait, did you say "our"?
376
00:19:02,382 --> 00:19:07,663
Well, as my buddy
Carlos Joaquín de la Mancha
Kobe Bryant Martinez says...
377
00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:09,355
"Mi casa es su casa."
378
00:19:09,493 --> 00:19:10,494
Oh.
379
00:19:11,322 --> 00:19:13,531
- Thanks, Dad.
- There's a little caveat
though.
380
00:19:13,669 --> 00:19:14,670
Ay, Dios mío.
381
00:19:16,051 --> 00:19:18,709
Listen, let's
have you start paying me rent,
382
00:19:18,847 --> 00:19:20,366
but we'll put that into
a savings account
383
00:19:20,504 --> 00:19:22,713
and pretty soon
you'll have down payment
and get your own house.
384
00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:28,201
Hmm. Thanks, Dad. Although,
by then, this will be my home,
385
00:19:28,339 --> 00:19:31,411
and your home will be, well...
...a home.
386
00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:34,966
Okay, but do we have a deal?
387
00:19:35,104 --> 00:19:38,798
- This is our house
with our rules. Deal?
- Hmm.
388
00:19:40,662 --> 00:19:42,111
Speaking of, I was thinking
389
00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,942
- we could get
solar panels, or no?
- No, no, no.
390
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,116
This is a house.
It's not some hippie commune
391
00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:48,773
in the People's Republic
of Portland.
392
00:19:50,741 --> 00:19:51,845
- Exactly.
- Okay.
393
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:57,368
Here you go.
394
00:19:57,506 --> 00:19:58,507
First rent check.
395
00:19:59,474 --> 00:20:00,785
Feels good to be independent.
396
00:20:01,407 --> 00:20:03,305
Oh, if you really want
to feel independent,
397
00:20:03,443 --> 00:20:05,307
I could take you off
the family phone plan.
398
00:20:05,445 --> 00:20:08,034
Easy, tiger.
That check hasn't cleared yet.
399
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,387
- Why are you
putting that there?
- It looks better here.
400
00:20:16,525 --> 00:20:17,940
I'm sorry,
what did you say, Charlie?
401
00:20:18,078 --> 00:20:20,495
Exactly, I agree.
402
00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:22,428
He said,
"It doesn't fit there."
403
00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:24,637
What happened to our house,
our rules?
404
00:20:24,775 --> 00:20:26,155
It's just too big
for the space.
405
00:20:26,294 --> 00:20:27,950
You gave birth to Carter.
You get it.
406
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,953
Ooh.
407
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,612
Carter, your girlfriend's here.
408
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,683
Oh, we're not using
traditional labels.
409
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:38,547
We're going with boo and bae.
410
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,033
"Boo bae."
411
00:20:43,069 --> 00:20:44,381
Aw, I missed you.
412
00:20:47,384 --> 00:20:48,385
You saw that.
413
00:20:50,904 --> 00:20:52,699
Thanks for
taking care of Charlie.
414
00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:54,770
Oh, of course. We'll miss him.
415
00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:57,152
Don't you want to say goodbye,
Dad?
416
00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:00,466
Sure. One more belly rub.
Come here, boy. Come over here.
417
00:21:09,198 --> 00:21:11,270
You really are
man's best friend.