1
00:00:02,554 --> 00:00:05,039
Damn. It's just Riley.
2
00:00:06,558 --> 00:00:09,630
"Damn, it's just Riley."
I have a name
for my autobiography.
3
00:00:10,838 --> 00:00:12,564
This dude has been
waiting on your brother.
4
00:00:12,702 --> 00:00:14,738
Watching the door like a dog.
5
00:00:14,876 --> 00:00:16,809
I had to rub his belly
to calm him down.
6
00:00:18,397 --> 00:00:20,882
I can't believe Dad's
picking Sam up at the airport.
7
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,506
He didn't even pick me up when
I got my wisdom teeth pulled.
8
00:00:24,231 --> 00:00:25,197
It was fine.
9
00:00:25,335 --> 00:00:26,716
I've driven
on way more codeine.
10
00:00:27,717 --> 00:00:28,925
Sam joined the Navy.
11
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,548
You got fired for
stealing socks from Old Navy.
12
00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:36,588
All right. Attention on deck.
We got an officer
coming in there.
13
00:00:36,726 --> 00:00:39,211
Sam Parker, commander of
naval intelligence.
14
00:00:39,349 --> 00:00:40,523
Get over here.
15
00:00:40,661 --> 00:00:44,147
- Aw!
- Okay. Yeah.
I missed you so much.
16
00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:46,253
We're gonna have so much fun.
We gotta go to The Grove.
17
00:00:46,391 --> 00:00:48,738
- They have a trolley now.
- Gabe. Sit, sit, sit.
18
00:00:48,876 --> 00:00:50,015
- Calm down now.
- Okay, my turn.
19
00:00:50,153 --> 00:00:51,603
Aw!
20
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:54,640
Oh, this feels good, and weird
without you putting me
21
00:00:54,778 --> 00:00:57,436
- in a headlock
and giving me a noogie.
- Well, if you insist.
22
00:00:57,574 --> 00:00:59,197
No!
23
00:00:59,956 --> 00:01:01,475
Look at my man, Sam.
24
00:01:01,613 --> 00:01:03,891
- You're looking good, baby.
- Not as good as you.
25
00:01:04,029 --> 00:01:05,099
I know that's right.
26
00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:07,895
This is just great, you know.
27
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,553
He's on the road
to becoming an admiral
and just flew in from...
28
00:01:10,691 --> 00:01:12,969
- Where was it?
- I'm not at liberty to say.
29
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,109
I love it
when he says that.
30
00:01:16,317 --> 00:01:19,631
Yeah, but when I say it,
I'm "withholding evidence."
31
00:01:33,438 --> 00:01:36,234
Georgia, your mom tells me
how great you're doing
in school.
32
00:01:36,855 --> 00:01:38,477
And Carter.
33
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,617
You're really funny
on Instagram.
34
00:01:41,963 --> 00:01:43,448
Thanks. Missed you, Unc.
35
00:01:43,586 --> 00:01:46,934
You know, last time you saw me,
I was a boy, but now I'm a man.
36
00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:50,800
And yes, that is
Obsession by Calvin Klein
you're smelling.
37
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:56,633
It's better than his old scent.
Cool Ranch by Dorito.
38
00:01:58,463 --> 00:02:00,637
You know what?
We should have
a welcome home party.
39
00:02:00,775 --> 00:02:02,191
Oh!
40
00:02:02,329 --> 00:02:04,331
- You've never
thrown me a party, Dad.
- Sure I did.
41
00:02:04,469 --> 00:02:06,195
Junior year.
The big surprise party.
42
00:02:06,781 --> 00:02:08,128
That was an intervention.
43
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,200
But the muffins were great.
44
00:02:12,477 --> 00:02:14,030
Fine, but not a lame party.
45
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,032
We should do
a karaoke night.
46
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,620
No, no, no, no,
I don't like karaoke.
47
00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:19,139
I don't listen
to Bob Seger's songs
48
00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:21,762
thinking, "Maybe some drunk
accountant should sing this."
49
00:02:24,074 --> 00:02:25,214
- Uncle Sam.
- Hmm?
50
00:02:25,352 --> 00:02:27,250
You're a spy, right?
51
00:02:27,388 --> 00:02:30,874
- I am not at liberty to--
- Yeah, yeah,
save it for the sheeple.
52
00:02:32,428 --> 00:02:36,121
My Legend of Zelda game
is missing,
and I know Carter took it.
53
00:02:36,259 --> 00:02:38,261
Can you give me some spy stuff
to catch him?
54
00:02:38,882 --> 00:02:43,611
One of the first things
they teach us is that
when people lie,
55
00:02:43,749 --> 00:02:46,373
they have a tic or a tell
that gives them away.
56
00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:48,789
Like what?
57
00:02:48,927 --> 00:02:53,138
Um, fidgeting,
avoiding eye contact,
an unusual rise in vocal tone.
58
00:02:54,726 --> 00:02:58,523
Grandpa. You love Mom and Sam
the same, right?
59
00:02:58,661 --> 00:03:00,835
Yeah, of course I do.
60
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,600
I can't believe
how grown-up the kids are.
61
00:03:06,738 --> 00:03:08,740
Well, you've been gone
a long time, you know.
62
00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:10,431
You spent all that time
in North Korea.
63
00:03:10,569 --> 00:03:11,708
Dad.
64
00:03:11,846 --> 00:03:13,745
My mistake. South Korea.
'Cause it's...
65
00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:15,333
You know I can't tell you.
66
00:03:16,023 --> 00:03:19,233
And I also know
how hard it is for you
to not know where I've been.
67
00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:22,236
Well, it's a good thing
for you 'cause
you're on that admiral track.
68
00:03:22,374 --> 00:03:24,411
Something you've always wanted
since you were a kid.
69
00:03:24,549 --> 00:03:28,104
Yeah, well, I also wanted
to be a dinosaur. So...
70
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:34,144
- Glad to be home.
- Yeah, me too.
Really missed you, kid.
71
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,770
So my loss
is the Philippines's gain.
72
00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:41,704
Nope.
73
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,811
Cyprus is on the water.
74
00:03:45,949 --> 00:03:48,262
It is Cyprus. Could be.
75
00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:50,333
Cleveland.
76
00:03:51,783 --> 00:03:53,647
♪ Yo, I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want ♪
77
00:03:53,785 --> 00:03:56,028
♪ So tell me what you want
What you really, really want ♪
78
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:58,203
♪ I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want ♪
79
00:03:58,341 --> 00:04:00,309
♪ So tell me what you want
What you really, really want ♪
80
00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:02,656
♪ I wanna, I wanna
I wanna, I wanna ♪
81
00:04:02,794 --> 00:04:05,072
♪ I wanna really, really
Really wanna zig-a-zig, ah!♪
82
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,491
I'll tell you
what I really want.
83
00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,735
For these mushrooms
to kick in faster.
84
00:04:14,426 --> 00:04:15,496
Hey, guys.
85
00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:17,360
- Oh, hey. You made it.
- Yeah, of course.
86
00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:18,775
You know Gabe and Stitch.
87
00:04:18,913 --> 00:04:21,364
This is my brother.
Sam, this is my boyfriend Andy.
88
00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:23,263
He's a... Well, look at him.
89
00:04:24,505 --> 00:04:26,335
Well, it's nice to put a name
to the face of the guy
90
00:04:26,473 --> 00:04:28,302
that Gabe says he can do
more pull-ups than.
91
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,821
Hmm!
92
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:33,756
Twelve. It's not important.
But it's 12.
93
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:38,899
Andy is a lawyer,
and he's never been arrested.
94
00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:42,661
I did a background check,
but unless you kill puppies,
we're good.
95
00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:44,111
And even then.
96
00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:48,460
- Hi. I'm Amelie.
- Hey.
97
00:04:48,598 --> 00:04:50,600
- Nice to meet you, Amelie.
- Stop that. Bring it in.
98
00:04:50,738 --> 00:04:52,361
Oh. Oh.
99
00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:56,710
Um, I'm a dancer,
but I minored in physics.
100
00:04:57,331 --> 00:05:00,507
The point is, I'm not defined
by being Gabe's girlfriend.
101
00:05:00,645 --> 00:05:03,164
I mean,
what does girlfriend even mean?
102
00:05:03,717 --> 00:05:06,789
It means that we live together
in a monogamous
sexual relationship.
103
00:05:06,927 --> 00:05:08,825
Shh! Stop.
104
00:05:09,826 --> 00:05:11,897
You know what? You guys mind
if I sing you a song?
105
00:05:12,484 --> 00:05:13,968
Oh. Oh!
106
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,833
You brought a guitar.
To karaoke.
107
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,043
You know, the...
the music's provided, right?
108
00:05:20,181 --> 00:05:24,565
Music is provided,
but it is BYOA.
That A is for awesomeness.
109
00:05:25,394 --> 00:05:27,637
Stitch. I'll make love to you.
110
00:05:29,087 --> 00:05:32,090
The... The song. Boyz II Men.
111
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:36,163
I really feel like
the right thing to do
is to protect him from himself.
112
00:05:36,853 --> 00:05:37,854
And play.
113
00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:47,554
♪ Close your eyes
Make a wish ♪
114
00:05:48,658 --> 00:05:50,557
Made one.
You still have a guitar.
115
00:05:50,695 --> 00:05:52,697
♪ And blow out
The candlelight ♪
116
00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:57,149
♪ For tonight
Is just your night ♪
117
00:05:58,047 --> 00:06:00,083
I should have protected him
from himself.
118
00:06:00,808 --> 00:06:02,431
This is Black-on-Black crime.
119
00:06:03,293 --> 00:06:07,850
♪ I'll make love to you
If you want me to ♪
120
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:13,027
♪ And I'll hold you tight
Baby, all through the night ♪
121
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:17,584
♪ I'll make love to you
Like you want me to ♪
122
00:06:18,619 --> 00:06:21,208
This is the most painful thing
I've ever experienced,
123
00:06:21,346 --> 00:06:23,728
and I fist-fought
a dude from the Taliban.
124
00:06:25,764 --> 00:06:28,595
What are you talking about?
This couldn't be
going any better.
125
00:06:29,216 --> 00:06:30,493
Guitar solo.
126
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,428
And it just got better.
127
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,953
Do you guys remember
when he was hot?
128
00:06:43,679 --> 00:06:44,783
I missed you, babe.
129
00:06:49,305 --> 00:06:51,307
Well, you know the old saying,
130
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,585
"You never really know a man
until he karaokes."
131
00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:56,933
You don't have to be
enjoying this so much.
132
00:06:57,071 --> 00:06:58,625
Where did Sam go?
133
00:06:58,763 --> 00:07:00,523
Well, he certainly didn't
tell me a secret
and go to the bar.
134
00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:03,975
- What?
- Sam's not gonna reenlist.
135
00:07:04,113 --> 00:07:06,322
What? That's insane.
136
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,601
Not as insane
as bringing your own guitar
to karaoke, but close.
137
00:07:09,739 --> 00:07:11,016
All right, Stitch.
138
00:07:11,154 --> 00:07:12,742
Let's queue up a little ditty
called "American Pie."
139
00:07:14,295 --> 00:07:16,401
I gotta see this.
He brought headgear.
140
00:07:24,996 --> 00:07:26,584
You're quitting the Navy?
141
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,310
I guess pinkie promises
mean nothing to Gabe.
142
00:07:30,691 --> 00:07:32,659
I've dedicated 20 years
of my life to the military,
143
00:07:32,797 --> 00:07:34,488
and I'm ready
for the next thing.
144
00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:37,905
Oh, my God. Dad is gonna freak.
When are you gonna tell him?
145
00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:41,357
Could I be there and possibly
film it and send it out
as my Christmas card?
146
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:45,982
- I'm waiting
for the right moment.
- Smart.
147
00:07:46,535 --> 00:07:48,571
'Cause he is gonna
be disappointed, but just know,
148
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:51,885
deep down, he's also
gonna be really furious.
149
00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:55,129
You're not helping.
And are you smiling?
150
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,200
- What? No. Cheek cramp.
- Yeah.
151
00:07:58,650 --> 00:08:02,136
But for real, I love you,
and I will support you
every step of the way.
152
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,760
Not because I wanna see
the golden boy crash and burn.
153
00:08:04,898 --> 00:08:06,451
Like I said, for support.
154
00:08:09,419 --> 00:08:11,180
Oh, wow.
155
00:08:12,699 --> 00:08:14,079
- Good news.
- Hmm?
156
00:08:14,217 --> 00:08:16,496
I just threw down
my credit card.
We got three more hours.
157
00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:18,118
If I'm paying, I'm playing.
158
00:08:23,226 --> 00:08:25,677
Carter's coming.
I need to find out
if he stole my video game.
159
00:08:25,815 --> 00:08:27,058
- What do I do?
- Okay.
160
00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:28,922
You're just trying
to gather intelligence.
161
00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:30,510
Intelligence from Carter?
162
00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:31,752
Good luck.
163
00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:36,377
Okay. Establish a baseline
of behavior for when
he's telling the truth
164
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,380
and then look for deviations
when the target is lying.
165
00:08:42,073 --> 00:08:44,489
Hey, Carter. What time is it?
166
00:08:44,627 --> 00:08:46,698
Let me check.
Time for you to get a watch.
167
00:08:50,771 --> 00:08:52,359
Walked right into that one.
168
00:08:52,497 --> 00:08:53,878
Carter out.
169
00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:06,753
See?
170
00:09:06,891 --> 00:09:09,652
I can't play mind games
when he doesn't have the parts.
171
00:09:11,274 --> 00:09:12,931
Don't you moonwalk
away from me!
172
00:09:13,069 --> 00:09:14,657
Stop shouting.
173
00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:17,280
I drank so much last night.
174
00:09:17,418 --> 00:09:19,524
I browned out between
Andy doing "Purple Rain"
175
00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:21,940
and Andy doing
acoustic "Purple Rain."
176
00:09:22,734 --> 00:09:26,082
Yeah. That was a song that
was formerly known as good.
177
00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:29,672
Well, good morning, kids.
178
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:32,295
Whoa. Wow. You look terrible.
179
00:09:33,262 --> 00:09:34,401
And you smell worse.
180
00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:39,786
Do we have to have another
little "surprise party"?
181
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:42,616
Don't say "party."
182
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:45,446
Hey. You remember
that admiral friend of mine?
183
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,276
Thinking maybe
you guys could connect.
184
00:09:47,414 --> 00:09:50,141
Maybe guide you
through the process
of becoming an admiral
185
00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:53,351
and, you know,
suggest a good place
to eat there in Yemen.
186
00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:57,493
Thanks. Yeah, I'll...
I'll think about that.
187
00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:00,323
Great.
188
00:10:07,986 --> 00:10:09,505
Just throw up already.
189
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:16,961
Why didn't you say anything?
190
00:10:17,099 --> 00:10:19,170
I told you I'm waiting
for the right moment.
191
00:10:19,308 --> 00:10:23,243
Oh, no!
The world's bravest man's
afraid of Daddy.
192
00:10:24,727 --> 00:10:27,109
You know, for a fun drunk,
you're a mean hangover.
193
00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:29,836
I'm just
trying to be sensitive.
194
00:10:29,974 --> 00:10:31,182
Dad just lost Mom.
195
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,909
I don't want him
losing his only good kid.
196
00:10:34,047 --> 00:10:35,842
Hey! Well, fair.
197
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,259
But I appreciate your help
and your support.
198
00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:42,331
And I appreciate your help
directing me to
the nearest trash can.
199
00:10:42,469 --> 00:10:45,230
- Oh, yeah. Here you...
- Thank you.
200
00:10:45,368 --> 00:10:46,473
Ooh!
201
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,890
Aw. This reminds me
of your junior prom.
202
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,341
And your senior prom.
203
00:10:53,342 --> 00:10:54,964
Oh! And your wedding.
204
00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:00,660
- I'm so proud of you, man.
- Yeah.
205
00:11:00,798 --> 00:11:01,971
And you're protecting us
from communists
206
00:11:02,109 --> 00:11:04,940
whether it's in
strange countries or Brooklyn.
207
00:11:05,768 --> 00:11:10,911
And my coffee protects doctors
from falling asleep
in heart surgery. Ha!
208
00:11:11,049 --> 00:11:12,223
You're welcome, America.
209
00:11:14,397 --> 00:11:16,503
Hey, Unc.
You got any cool battle scars?
210
00:11:16,641 --> 00:11:17,849
Oh, yeah. Shrapnel.
211
00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:20,093
And I stitched it up myself
with dental floss.
212
00:11:20,231 --> 00:11:21,473
Always be prepared.
213
00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:24,131
See? This is why
I don't waste it on my teeth.
214
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,688
How do you have a girlfriend?
215
00:11:31,414 --> 00:11:32,933
- Hold on. Excuse me.
- Yeah.
216
00:11:33,071 --> 00:11:35,418
How much fun
was the other night?
217
00:11:35,556 --> 00:11:38,698
We saw a whole
other side of you, Andy,
and I liked it.
218
00:11:40,354 --> 00:11:41,390
A lot.
219
00:11:42,391 --> 00:11:45,497
I know, man. When I do karaoke,
I just lose myself.
220
00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:49,363
Ugh! I should have done
"Lose Yourself."
221
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,539
You rap too?
222
00:11:53,229 --> 00:11:55,507
Man, save some talent
for the rest of us.
223
00:11:56,612 --> 00:11:59,097
Did, uh... Did everyone
get some champagne?
224
00:11:59,235 --> 00:12:02,066
My dad wants you to know
it's American, not French.
225
00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:03,308
"It's half the price
226
00:12:03,446 --> 00:12:05,276
and the grapes
aren't crushed by cowards."
227
00:12:07,071 --> 00:12:09,521
You know, I'm good, Mom.
I found it a bit dry, right?
228
00:12:12,904 --> 00:12:14,078
I said too much.
229
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,943
None for me. Thanks.
230
00:12:17,702 --> 00:12:19,221
Just protecting
the old instrument.
231
00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:23,432
Hey, Sam.
I just talked to Admiral Mason.
232
00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:24,536
Oh.
233
00:12:24,674 --> 00:12:25,952
You never called him.
234
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:27,781
Time to come clean.
235
00:12:28,506 --> 00:12:31,509
Uh, look, Dad.
I was waiting for
the right moment to tell you,
236
00:12:31,647 --> 00:12:34,892
which I now realize
was the car ride coming home
back from the airport.
237
00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:36,203
Tell me what?
238
00:12:36,341 --> 00:12:38,861
I've decided
to retire from the Navy.
239
00:12:38,999 --> 00:12:40,414
You tell him.
240
00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,317
- To become an actor.
- To do what?
241
00:12:53,669 --> 00:12:54,774
Dang it!
242
00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:56,465
I always clap
at the wrong time.
243
00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:59,330
- Can we talk for a minute?
- Yeah.
244
00:12:59,468 --> 00:13:00,883
- Excuse us.
- Yeah, you should come with me.
245
00:13:01,021 --> 00:13:02,298
Oh.
246
00:13:02,436 --> 00:13:04,024
Listen, why do I have to
hear this from the admiral?
247
00:13:04,162 --> 00:13:06,302
Okay, Dad. Sorry.
I didn't wanna disappoint you,
248
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,546
but, honestly,
I didn't know how to tell you.
249
00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:09,823
But you're made for this.
250
00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:11,860
You got your analytic skills
from your mom
251
00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:13,137
and look how far
it's taken you.
252
00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:15,760
Yeah, well, now I wanna
follow my artistic side.
253
00:13:16,519 --> 00:13:19,971
Look, lots of former
military guys have gone on
to become successful actors.
254
00:13:20,109 --> 00:13:23,112
- Jimmy Stewart, Adam Driver...
- Bea Arthur.
255
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:27,254
One of the Golden Girls.
256
00:13:27,392 --> 00:13:31,017
Dad, I know this is a lot
to take in,
but I'm serious about this.
257
00:13:31,638 --> 00:13:33,605
I'm gonna sign up
for improv classes.
258
00:13:33,743 --> 00:13:35,849
Oof! Now you're just
trying to hurt me.
259
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,888
You're on a path to become
an admiral in the Navy.
260
00:13:40,026 --> 00:13:41,786
This is something you've wanted
since you were a little boy.
261
00:13:41,924 --> 00:13:45,169
Yeah, well, acting is not
that different from what I do
in naval intelligence.
262
00:13:45,307 --> 00:13:48,413
I pretend to be people
that I'm not all the time,
and I'm good at it.
263
00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:52,176
I've done accents that would
get me canceled stateside.
264
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,836
What I see is
you're throwing away
a great career for nothing.
265
00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:01,461
Sam just wants
to follow his dream,
and we should support that.
266
00:14:01,599 --> 00:14:03,256
Even if his dream is stupid.
267
00:14:05,603 --> 00:14:07,363
You're gonna do great.
268
00:14:07,985 --> 00:14:09,469
I can handle this on my own.
269
00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:12,575
See? That was good acting.
I almost believed him.
270
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,509
You wanna see some good acting?
271
00:14:15,993 --> 00:14:19,168
Hey. I think
this is a great idea.
272
00:14:24,691 --> 00:14:26,210
That was actually pretty good.
273
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:32,802
Here. I gotta hurry.
274
00:14:32,941 --> 00:14:35,633
A Girl Scout's selling cookies
right next to me.
275
00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:37,048
If she's there when I get back,
276
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:39,395
she better be ready
to earn her bitch slap badge.
277
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,054
Does she have a limit
on how many boxes of Do-Si-Dos
you can buy?
278
00:14:43,986 --> 00:14:46,402
It's not important.
Totally unrelated.
I'll be right back.
279
00:14:48,404 --> 00:14:50,027
So, how's your brother doing?
280
00:14:50,165 --> 00:14:53,754
Eh. I'm used to
my dad being upset.
I've built up immunities,
281
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,620
but Sam's like an unvaccinated
casino waitress in April 2020.
282
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:00,761
Oh, wait.
That was me.
283
00:15:02,039 --> 00:15:03,212
I never didn't have COVID.
284
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,939
I tested positive every day
for eight months.
285
00:15:07,596 --> 00:15:09,701
Let me guess.
We're still talking about Sam.
286
00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:11,427
I know you're upset.
287
00:15:11,565 --> 00:15:13,015
Yeah, I'm upset.
288
00:15:13,153 --> 00:15:14,430
He's always wanted
to be an admiral.
289
00:15:14,568 --> 00:15:16,260
Now he's gonna
just throw that all away?
290
00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:18,952
Well, maybe he'll play one
on TV.
291
00:15:19,608 --> 00:15:22,922
On one of the channels
you watch.
Like two or four or seven.
292
00:15:23,888 --> 00:15:25,303
Yeah, you know what?
293
00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:27,547
Maybe he could play
Cap'n Crunch's boss.
294
00:15:27,685 --> 00:15:29,756
Wait. Cap'n Crunch
isn't an admiral?
295
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,414
Captain's right in his name.
296
00:15:32,552 --> 00:15:34,381
Chocula is still
a count, right?
297
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:40,629
You know what, Dad?
Why don't you just cut Sam off
like you did me for 15 years?
298
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:44,253
Or, crazy thought,
maybe for once in your life
be the mature one.
299
00:15:44,391 --> 00:15:47,222
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go choke out
a Girl Scout.
300
00:15:50,501 --> 00:15:52,296
Stitch, you were
in the service.
301
00:15:52,434 --> 00:15:53,435
Be honest with me.
302
00:15:53,573 --> 00:15:55,644
You think
what Sam's doing is crazy?
303
00:15:55,782 --> 00:15:57,508
Hey. Come on, man.
304
00:15:57,646 --> 00:16:00,580
Look, the man knows
what he wants to do with
his life after the military.
305
00:16:01,443 --> 00:16:03,686
Not everybody has that.
I didn't.
306
00:16:03,824 --> 00:16:06,172
You had a great second act.
You came to work here.
307
00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:08,933
Sam spent 20 years fighting
for other people's freedom.
308
00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:13,041
He deserves
the same freedom to do
whatever the hell he wants.
309
00:16:13,179 --> 00:16:15,353
To be an actor?
310
00:16:17,562 --> 00:16:21,014
I don't think I can get used to
Riley being the successful one.
311
00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:23,499
You'd be surprised, man.
312
00:16:23,637 --> 00:16:26,537
Your kids can make you proud
in all sorts of ways.
313
00:16:27,641 --> 00:16:30,230
Ding-dong.
The witch is dead.
314
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:36,754
Andy, sorry. We have a strict
no-music policy.
315
00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:38,514
The jerk next door
always complains.
316
00:16:38,652 --> 00:16:39,653
Your dad?
317
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,379
I said what I said.
318
00:16:42,691 --> 00:16:44,831
You know what?
That's actually why I came.
319
00:16:44,969 --> 00:16:46,315
Oh, God.
320
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:49,663
Riley, this one's for you.
321
00:16:51,389 --> 00:16:53,081
What the hell?
322
00:16:53,219 --> 00:16:56,256
I realized the other night
that I took it
a little too far at karaoke,
323
00:16:56,394 --> 00:16:58,431
and I just wanted
to make things right.
324
00:16:58,569 --> 00:17:01,054
It's not your fault.
You have pretty privilege.
325
00:17:02,538 --> 00:17:05,162
People let hot people do
whatever they want.
326
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,405
That's why Idris Elba
gets to be a deejay.
327
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,409
Well, after seeing
many, many...
328
00:17:11,547 --> 00:17:15,482
God, many videos
of myself online,
I realized that I have been...
329
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:18,658
What is the legal term?
It is a douche canoe.
330
00:17:20,211 --> 00:17:22,834
You know what?
I like that you're
not good at something.
331
00:17:23,697 --> 00:17:25,354
Thank you?
332
00:17:25,492 --> 00:17:28,633
No, people like you
and my brother
can be a little intimidating.
333
00:17:28,771 --> 00:17:31,498
So I kind of like
that you're not perfect.
334
00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:34,570
Oh! Well, I kinda like
that you're not perfect too.
335
00:17:34,708 --> 00:17:36,296
What? Okay, hold on.
336
00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:39,368
No, I mean, seriously, I ran
a background check on you.
337
00:17:39,506 --> 00:17:40,576
Oh, God.
338
00:17:40,714 --> 00:17:42,440
No, it's fine.
339
00:17:42,578 --> 00:17:44,408
You do have
an active warrant in Utah.
340
00:17:44,891 --> 00:17:47,307
Yeah, well, not to brag,
but I might have one here too
341
00:17:47,445 --> 00:17:49,551
if that Girl Scout
presses charges.
342
00:17:51,415 --> 00:17:53,417
- You mind if I...
- Go ahead.
343
00:17:55,591 --> 00:17:58,249
No, look what they've done
to my boy!
344
00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:02,081
Only one pepperoni left.
You want it, Georgia?
345
00:18:02,909 --> 00:18:05,291
No. Carter should have it.
346
00:18:05,774 --> 00:18:08,225
He's my brother.
He deserves something nice.
347
00:18:08,363 --> 00:18:10,089
Wait. You're being nice to him?
348
00:18:10,227 --> 00:18:12,125
Okay, missy.
I don't like this one bit.
349
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:15,370
She's trying to trick me.
You have been all week.
350
00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:16,992
- No, I haven't.
- Just admit it.
351
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,821
You wanna know what happened
to your video game.
352
00:18:18,959 --> 00:18:20,271
I think I'm entitled to it.
353
00:18:20,409 --> 00:18:22,066
- You want answers?
- I want the truth.
354
00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:23,930
You can't handle the truth.
355
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,622
Zelda is a free spirit.
356
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,384
She belongs to no man, woman
or forest nymph.
357
00:18:29,522 --> 00:18:32,663
- So you did take it.
- You're damn right I did.
358
00:18:34,009 --> 00:18:37,116
Because you don't appreciate
the nonlinear storytelling
359
00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:39,152
or... or the catchy music.
360
00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:41,223
You need me to play that game.
361
00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:48,334
Cracked him like an egg.
362
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,958
That's it.
She's the captain now.
363
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,479
Hey, Sam.
Can we talk for a minute?
364
00:18:55,617 --> 00:18:58,309
Talk or yell?
I'll just clean up.
365
00:19:00,035 --> 00:19:02,037
Look, Dad. I'm sorry
I wasn't up front with you,
366
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,832
but I've made my decision.
367
00:19:04,557 --> 00:19:05,696
This is what I'm gonna do.
368
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:07,698
That's exactly
what I said to my dad.
369
00:19:07,836 --> 00:19:09,976
Do you remember
when your grandpa talked to me
370
00:19:10,114 --> 00:19:11,253
about taking over
the machine shop?
371
00:19:11,391 --> 00:19:13,324
Yeah, you wanted to be
an industrial designer.
372
00:19:13,462 --> 00:19:14,946
Right. We fought about it.
373
00:19:15,084 --> 00:19:17,708
Fought, fought, fought.
He's a very stubborn man.
374
00:19:17,846 --> 00:19:19,158
Sounds like someone I know.
375
00:19:19,296 --> 00:19:20,849
- Could we...
- Continue.
376
00:19:22,022 --> 00:19:23,438
Listen.
377
00:19:24,024 --> 00:19:25,647
My dad passed
before we had a chance
378
00:19:25,785 --> 00:19:27,062
to patch up
our differences like that.
379
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,443
It always stuck with me,
380
00:19:28,581 --> 00:19:31,860
and I couldn't stop
thinking about this, you know.
381
00:19:31,998 --> 00:19:34,242
I don't want that to be
between the two of us.
382
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:36,554
Yeah. Told you you should
get that mole checked.
383
00:19:38,107 --> 00:19:39,385
I'll stop.
384
00:19:40,558 --> 00:19:42,457
I just want you
to be happy. Period.
385
00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:46,219
And if that means expressing
your artistic side like me,
386
00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:50,223
and that art
happens to be acting,
then so be it, son.
387
00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:52,294
- Thanks, Dad.
- Yeah.
388
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:54,883
So, you don't think me wanting
to be an actor is stupid?
389
00:19:55,021 --> 00:19:58,197
No, uh-uh.
I think it's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
390
00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:00,613
But who knows?
You might get cast
391
00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:03,029
as the guy that's really
in the Deadpool costume
392
00:20:04,306 --> 00:20:06,688
while Ryan Reynolds
is getting his feet done
in his trailer.
393
00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:12,728
But I'm proud of you.
I have been,
and I always will be, son.
394
00:20:14,143 --> 00:20:15,869
"You too, Riley.
395
00:20:17,457 --> 00:20:19,287
You really
turned your life around."
396
00:20:20,909 --> 00:20:22,013
We're having
a little moment here,
397
00:20:22,151 --> 00:20:23,360
and you had to
add yourself to it.
398
00:20:25,914 --> 00:20:28,330
- Sorry.
- Golden Boy is back.
399
00:20:35,579 --> 00:20:36,580
Contact right.
400
00:20:42,448 --> 00:20:44,967
Talk to me, Goose. Talk to me.
401
00:20:48,661 --> 00:20:49,938
And scene.
402
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:55,771
Wow. That was... Wow.
403
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:58,395
It was great.
404
00:21:01,225 --> 00:21:03,296
Wait. Why was he so upset
about a goose?
405
00:21:04,642 --> 00:21:05,781
Hey, Dad.
406
00:21:07,127 --> 00:21:08,094
What'd you think?
407
00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:10,786
I am not at liberty to say.
408
00:21:14,825 --> 00:21:15,929
That was...
409
00:21:16,723 --> 00:21:18,207
That was beautiful, man.
410
00:21:19,933 --> 00:21:21,521
It's just...
411
00:21:21,659 --> 00:21:24,455
- Thanks, buddy. Thanks.
- You... Wow!