1 00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:04,963 ♪ And it's a wonder men can eat at all ♪ 2 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:07,799 I had finally hit my stride as chief of medicine. 3 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,260 I was bonding with the staff... 4 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,013 Okay, Mr. It's-a-New-Dawn-It's-a-New-Day. 5 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,973 Ooh, big doctor energy. 6 00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:16,600 ...nailing it as a teacher... 7 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,727 Remember when I taught you about the oncotic pressure 8 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:21,146 and third spacing of fluid in liver patients? 9 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,065 - Thank you. - On it. 10 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,526 ...and keeping up physician morale. 11 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:27,569 Ooh. 12 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,529 Handful of cake and it ain't even my birthday. 13 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,782 I was born this way. Never done one squat. 14 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:32,866 Oh, I know. 15 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:36,245 Even Turk's rock-hard tush couldn't knock me off my game. 16 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,329 What the... 17 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,124 Good morning, oldie. You can imagine my pleasure and shock 18 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,711 to see you haven't yet turned this place into a Spirit Halloween store. 19 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,381 Kudos on passing the lowest bar possible. 20 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,259 What are you doing here? Is it something with me? I'm incredibly busy. 21 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,262 But okay, I've moved some things around. I'm free now. 22 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,722 Ugh, Perry, is this man bothering you? 23 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,267 No, but he has been for the better part of 25 years. 24 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,770 And if you must know, Park and I have dinner plans. 25 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,105 - Mmm. - But, pumpkin, relax, 26 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,564 we're gonna stop at Zales afterwards 27 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,149 and get you something gorge. 28 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:10,237 Oh, I love that. What piece of jewelry screams daddy issues? 29 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,406 - I wouldn't know, Park. - Oh, definitely a belly chain. 30 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,033 Well, if you're missing your daddy, then I'm thinking a locket. 31 00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,660 Ooh, I would love a locket. 32 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,287 - Off we go. - Mmm. 33 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:19,371 Oldie. 34 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:21,915 Don't worry, he's gonna look back. He's gonna look back. 35 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,543 He's gonna look back. Nope. He put his arm on his shoulder. 36 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,086 I gotta hand it to you... 37 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:29,214 Dude, summon your big doctor energy and glide away. 38 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:30,465 I was thinking the same thing. 39 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,800 Same here. 40 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,386 ♪ Futures made of virtual insanity ♪ 41 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,180 Oh, my goodness. Doctor, you're really something. 42 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,268 ♪ Always seem to be governed By this love we have ♪ 43 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,270 Turk, come back. 44 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,982 I can't. I'm in my Jamiroquai flow state, baby. 45 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:50,861 ♪ Oh, now there is no sound For we all live underground ♪ 46 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,529 He's so smooth. 47 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:57,367 ♪ I can't do this all on my own ♪ 48 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,871 ♪ No, I know I'm no Superman ♪ 49 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,667 ♪ I'm no Superman ♪ 50 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:11,381 Since Dr. Cox was here, I wanted to throw some extra sauce on rounds. 51 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,259 Luckily, I rewatched Independence Day last night. 52 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:15,427 Mankind. 53 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:20,057 {\an8}That word should have extra meaning for us all today. 54 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,141 {\an8}Nailed it. 55 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:26,313 {\an8}Look, guys, you are no longer untrained, untested "newbies." 56 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,856 {\an8}You have learned so much by now. 57 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,776 {\an8}Dr. Dorian is right. 58 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:34,154 {\an8}There it is. It only took 25 years. 59 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,573 {\an8}You have so much more knowledge 60 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,076 {\an8}than you did six months ago when you started with me. 61 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,371 {\an8}Bet you feel pretty good about that, right? 62 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:43,705 {\an8}Right? 63 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:47,250 {\an8}Stop smiling. Because you are, in fact, dangerous. 64 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,711 {\an8}You now know enough to think you know everything. 65 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:52,214 {\an8}You're like that ten-year-old at the wheel of a Subaru. 66 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,341 {\an8}Can your feet reach the pedals? Well, sure. 67 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:57,761 {\an8}Should you actually operate the vehicle? Under no conditions. 68 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:01,932 {\an8}And just like that ten-year-old, you're all potential killers. 69 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,685 {\an8}- Uh, Dr. Cox, I'm gonna need you to... - That's right, killers. 70 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:09,731 {\an8}Killers screaming "whee-hee" as you blow through the front of a diner, 71 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,525 {\an8}nearly taking out an innocent family 72 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,735 {\an8}- splitting up their cheesy fries... - It feels like you're not hearing me. 73 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:14,820 {\an8}...and sugary beverages. 74 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,947 {\an8}He's not an employee. I'm powerless. 75 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,658 {\an8}- It's okay, Sibby. - I need him to take a listen to me. 76 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:26,289 {\an8}Allow me to put Dr. Cox's dark tableau through the John Dorian positivity filter. 77 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,627 {\an8}You got this, okay? Just be alert and bring your A game. 78 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,046 {\an8}We have a very challenging day today. 79 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:37,217 All I wanted was for my interns to shine in front of Dr. Cox today, 80 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,761 but unfortunately, the odds were against us. 81 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:42,848 You can't hide from the hippocratic rule of thirds. 82 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,601 One-third of very sick patients die no matter what you do, 83 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:51,648 one-third die because of what you do and one-third get better on their own. 84 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,317 We're going to do everything we can for you. 85 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,697 Tosh, patient's labs came back. She's hyponatremic. 86 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,991 - So start IV sodium replacement. - Got it. 87 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,326 Good. And don't let Dr. Cox being here get in your head. 88 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,287 Oh. I won't. I think he's hilarious. 89 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:09,166 Whenever he starts ranting, I record him and it, like, always goes viral. 90 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,626 You have a much healthier way of coping with him than I did. 91 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,587 I gave myself bangs, like, five times. 92 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,381 Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. 93 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:19,801 I wanted Perry to know just how well I was filling his shoes. 94 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:24,431 So the key to teaching my interns has been my radical approachability. 95 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,850 First of all, there are no dumb questions. 96 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,478 I see. So just dumb statements like that one? 97 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,814 I'm gonna ignore that. Second, I never wear my white coat. 98 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:36,985 I feel like when I dress like an intern, it says, "I'm just like you guys. 99 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,612 A superhero without a cape." 100 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,781 Well, you're gonna wanna swoop down out of the sky 101 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,990 and help your equal over there 102 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:45,327 find whatever it is he's looking for in the medical waste bin. 103 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,579 Fleming, I have told you before, 104 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,540 if your Invisalign is in there, it is gone for good. 105 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,584 Now get. Get, get. 106 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:54,878 Stupid Fleming and his underbite. 107 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,923 Where are all the interns I told to come and say nice things about me? 108 00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,175 Dr. Dorian, once again, your brilliant teaching has saved a life. 109 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,344 - Go on. - My patient was cleared for discharge, 110 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,470 but something felt off. 111 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:06,223 So I ran some blood cultures and he's septic. 112 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,267 If you hadn't reviewed the signs with us this week, I wouldn't have caught it. 113 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,521 And there it was, the facial contortion Dr. Cox made 114 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,856 when he was struggling to choke down a compliment. 115 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:17,234 ...to you, sir. 116 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,693 I could kiss you. 117 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,988 Dr. Dorian, I get that the British thing is a huge turn-on. 118 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:26,201 It makes him seem both exotic and safe, but you cannot kiss him. 119 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,829 No, it's just a figure of speech. I'm not-- I wasn't trying to kiss him. 120 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,580 No... [babbles] ...I wasn't trying to kiss him either, 121 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,082 - but here we are. - May I be excused? 122 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,375 - Yes, please. Go. - Go to your room. 123 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,586 Thanks to the good news with Asher's patient, 124 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,381 the odds were starting to tip in our favor. 125 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:42,759 And I had to give it to Park, he was on top of it with Blake's patient. 126 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,221 I've been sick for three weeks. I'm burning up. I feel like death. 127 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,889 Can I get some antibiotics? 128 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:51,393 Here's what antibiotics will do for your viral infection, nothing. 129 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,395 Mmm. 130 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,438 Nice meeting you. 131 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:56,815 Whoa. 132 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,526 If you're leaving a comment card, his name's Dr. Park. 133 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,903 But he-he is right about the antibiotics. 134 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:05,657 Fine. But if he's wrong, I'm gonna sue both of you. 135 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,242 Cool. 136 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,454 Chris's infection was caught early 137 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,331 and we expect him to respond well to treatment. 138 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,624 I'm just waiting on one more test. 139 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,042 Thank you so much, Doctor. 140 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,210 You guys can go in. 141 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,629 - Hi, Dad. You better? - Hi, Dad. 142 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,383 I love that little voice you do when you're talking to families. 143 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,844 Well, I'm just doing all that I can for them. 144 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,596 Let's go to the supply closet right now. 145 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,306 Okay, I love supplies. 146 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,932 Here's the results for your sepsis patient. 147 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,183 You're not gonna like this. 148 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:37,397 The CT shows he has a deep neck abscess. I think he might need surgery. 149 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,612 What's all that whispering about? I knew what I hoped it was. 150 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,864 I was reluctant to say anything until it went through, 151 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,158 but I submitted me and J.D. for The Amazing Race. 152 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,285 Do you think you could cover for him for a month? 153 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,871 Well, only the father of medicine could cover for that man. 154 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:56,041 - And he's fine too. - Gorgeous. 155 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,459 Thank you. 156 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,210 When are you gonna stop needing his approval? 157 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:02,172 I don't know, Turk. When are you gonna stop loving Carla? 158 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,798 J.D., that is not an appropriate comparison. 159 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:06,259 The thing I don't get is, if Cox is just here for dinner, 160 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,386 why is he hanging around the hospital all day? 161 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,639 You think he's getting intel about my work as a chief? 162 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,724 Who cares? Everybody thinks you're doing a great job. 163 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,727 Just keep singing that psych-up song you sing in your office every morning. 164 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,187 Oh, I didn't know you could hear that. 165 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,814 But I don't care, because, baby, I am a firework. 166 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:28,156 Dr. Reid, I bolused the hypertonic saline solution for Tina. 167 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,366 Wait, you did what? 168 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:36,956 Oh, my God! 169 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,711 You can't bolus hypertonic saline. You have to calculate the sodium deficit. 170 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:45,006 Get me a nurse! Tell them to bring DDAVP and D5W! 171 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,591 I didn't know. W-Will she be okay? Or-- 172 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,593 I don't know, Dr. Tosh. Move out of the way. 173 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,303 Just get out of the room. 174 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,265 Hey, did you see Danny's chest X-ray? 175 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,686 Let me guess, inconclusive with possible opacity. 176 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,145 Oh, we should give him the antibiotics. 177 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,231 It could be a viral pneumonia with bacterial superinfection. 178 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,401 What it is is a radiologist covering their ass. 179 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,237 If they say it's inconclusive, then they're not responsible 180 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,825 in the 0.0001% chance that it is pneumonia. 181 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,493 Yeah, but we're on the hook if it is. 182 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:16,204 Are you really letting your patient dictate how you treat him? 183 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:19,582 You have the vibe of a dom top, but you doctor like a sub bottom. 184 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,960 I bartended at a gay bar. So I know what that means. 185 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,255 And if being a sub bottom means not getting sued or worse, 186 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,506 then give it to me, Daddy. 187 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,177 How's my patient? 188 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,930 We have to see how he does after he gets out of recovery. 189 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,099 I don't understand. I-I did everything right. 190 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,685 I caught the infection early, but he still got worse. 191 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,480 Kid, you gotta figure out a way to cope with stress. 192 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:47,527 You know what? I have a method I use that could help. Follow me. 193 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,321 All right, the rules of the game are simple. 194 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,532 You must jump off the physical therapy trampoline 195 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:55,577 and then shoot the mannequin's head into the bin. Got it? 196 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,787 - I don't think I can hit that. - Maybe, maybe not. 197 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,665 But when my daughter was in NICU, all I could do was wait 198 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:01,750 and this saved my life. 199 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,295 Pro tip, elbows in, fingertips on the eyelids. 200 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,504 Let's go. 201 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,797 You can do it. 202 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,932 Even if she lives, she could have neurologic deficit or be in a coma. 203 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,184 Tosh, you can't beat yourself up. 204 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,895 - If I kill someone? - Well, when you put it like that... 205 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:25,440 Okay, but none of that has happened. Hopefully, she'll be okay. 206 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,359 Moments like this live with interns forever. 207 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:32,280 When a patient is a victim of a mistake, doctors are the second victim. 208 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,991 Tosh, I know all you're doing is worrying about that patient. 209 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,910 But it's my job to worry about you. 210 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,245 I want you to go see a counselor right now. 211 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,541 Honestly, the only positive right now 212 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,628 is that my mentor wasn't here to see everything fall apart. 213 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,549 I knew white guys were bad at this, but British white guys are the worst. 214 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,759 I can't stand this waiting. 215 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,886 There has to be something else we can do for the patient. 216 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,806 Kid, there isn't. We both did everything we could. 217 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:01,017 So now's the time to let it go or leave it with God or the universe 218 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,227 or whatever it is you believe in. 219 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,978 Well, that's never worked for me. 220 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:07,690 But okay, I believe if you make that basket, our patient will be okay. 221 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,693 I don't like putting that type of pressure on myself 222 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:14,864 and we're doing this to take our minds off of it. But okay. 223 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,784 Come on, let me show you how it's done. You ready for this? 224 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,411 Here we go. I got something. 225 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,247 Bank shot. Called it. 226 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,998 - Yeah! I told you! - Yeah. Yeah. 227 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,835 See, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm... 228 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:31,464 I don't believe in bald-on-bald violence, but you've given me no choice. 229 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,675 Run. Watch out. He's mad! 230 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,971 That's the thing about this place. 231 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,768 Sometimes all you can do is let go and hope things work out. 232 00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,063 I have some good news. 233 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,400 Tina's stable. She's gonna be all right. 234 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,734 Oh, thank God. 235 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:55,238 You made a huge mistake and you got really lucky 236 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,240 and hopefully you never have to get this lucky again. 237 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:01,870 Chris is alert and doing well. 238 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,206 Nice shot, Dr. Turk. 239 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,504 Mrs. Johnson, I have some good news. 240 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:16,134 The good news is I was right and you were wrong. 241 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,887 Danny's fever broke without antibiotics. 242 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:21,347 I'm pretty sure the good news is that Danny's okay. 243 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:27,395 Listen, I know you blame yourself for that woman who died in the parking lot, 244 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:30,356 but doctoring scared will never be what's best for your patients. 245 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,569 And by the way, I knew you bartended at Night Gliders. 246 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,779 I recognized you the minute you stepped foot in here. 247 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:40,325 Yeah? Well, I remember you too. You were the only guy who didn't tip. 248 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:43,077 Yeah, well, you were the only bartender who wouldn't sleep with me. 249 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,874 Congratulations. We had three very sick patients 250 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,334 and they're all gonna be okay. 251 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,085 We beat the odds. 252 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,796 So enjoy it. Around here, that doesn't happen all that often. 253 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,049 Oh. Dr. Cox. 254 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,676 I didn't see you over there. Do you wanna give one of your famous 255 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,137 "I believed in you the whole time" speeches? 256 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,430 No, I... 257 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,226 - Dr. Cox. - Oh, my God. 258 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,394 - Checking his pulse. - Get out of the way. Move, move! 259 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,729 We need oxygen. 260 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,652 It doesn't matter how many people you save. 261 00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,154 When one of your own falls, it hits deep. 262 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,950 Why didn't you come to me if you haven't been feeling well? 263 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:25,745 Because I knew you'd turn this into some overwrought emo crybaby feelings fest. 264 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:29,540 Hell, I can practically hear the indie mope music playing in your head right now. 265 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,545 I'm just saying, I can't believe you went with Dr. Park over me. 266 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,757 Yeah, well, he probably knew you'd turn this into some sort of overwrought emo 267 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,759 - crybaby-- - I already said it. 268 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:43,888 Oh. Well, the good news is your scans and tumor markers came back negative. 269 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,640 - So it's not cancer. - Thank God. 270 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,518 We're still waiting on your sed rates, ANCA and CRP. 271 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,727 We'll know more later this afternoon. 272 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,730 Thank you, Dr. Park. I'd like to take over Perry's care from here. 273 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,941 Not happening there, Dr. Nurse Jackie. 274 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:58,653 Come on, you can barely hold it together with patients coming in off the street. 275 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:01,823 How are you gonna be objective with me? And besides, look at yourself. You've... 276 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,992 You're already emotional and you haven't done anything yet. 277 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:07,287 It's not true. I updated your weight. Congrats on keeping it tight. 278 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,706 J.D., we both know if you were to walk into this room 279 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,875 and tell me that I was dying, it would break you. 280 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:16,087 No, it would break me if you didn't give me the opportunity to help you 281 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:19,632 by doing everything that you trained me to do. 282 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,759 Still not happening. Besides, there's no training 283 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,761 for the maniacal patient I plan on being. 284 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:27,640 Cujo, Old Yeller, pick your rabid dog and I'm gonna best him. 285 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,685 Now, I will be removing my own IV 286 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:34,647 because your nurses gave me regular saline instead of D5W. 287 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,067 Oh, my God. 288 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,486 I think he's actually tearing up because you mentioned Old Yeller. 289 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:44,657 I'm not tearing up. I'm not a child. I don't need to be protected, okay? 290 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,784 And if you want someone who's gonna take you behind the shed 291 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,786 and shoot you, go with this idiot. 292 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,792 Dr. Tosh, full disclosure, outside of this room, 293 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:58,046 Dr. Reid and I have been enjoying a blossoming female friendship. 294 00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:02,508 But in here, she's simply participant A and you're participant B. 295 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,594 Participant A, you have the floor. 296 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,804 I know this morning was really traumatic 297 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:09,474 and I'm just really glad that you're talking about it. 298 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,060 That was very nice, participant A. 299 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,937 Participant B, would you like to read aloud 300 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,398 - your formal complaint against Dr. Reid? - What? 301 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,275 You told me to raise the sodium on our patient 302 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,985 but didn't guide me on how to do it. 303 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,612 Yeah, because you should already know how to do that. 304 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,447 She told me to get out of the room. 305 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,199 You almost killed someone. 306 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,077 - Okay, you can't say that. - She s-screwed up. 307 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,787 You can't say that either. 308 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,748 You made me feel terrible. It just makes me want to quit. 309 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,166 I'm trying to teach you. 310 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,210 What am I allowed to say? 311 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:40,129 We'll be covering that in your mandatory bi-weekly seminar. 312 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,422 Oh, this is so stupid. 313 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,470 Friendship Sibby here, I hear you, and we will bitch about this later. 314 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,681 Business Sibby, you can't say that. 315 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,229 - Oh, come on. - Uh-uh. 316 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,774 You are not a doctor in this hospital. You cannot change your own medication. 317 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,193 This is, in fact, the same level of pain meds 318 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,820 you'd give to a woman having a C-section, 319 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,698 but since my doula and I have already discussed having a natural childbirth, 320 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,659 we're going to be lowering the dose 321 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,788 or I'm going to take this America's best number one pudding 322 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,623 and decorate your wall with it. 323 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,960 You can have this hot mess. He's all yours. 324 00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:23,339 Oh. I see you've extended your reign of terror to the staff. 325 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:26,342 I gave him something to talk to his friends about around the hospital. 326 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,345 You know, I've actually come to appreciate your teaching style. 327 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,598 I mean, not all of it. I did not think it was necessary 328 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,560 to call me a prostitute who caters exclusively to clowns. 329 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,271 Still makes me laugh in the car sometimes. 330 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,481 Hmm. 331 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:44,694 And for what it's worth, I was too harsh with you. 332 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,612 Sometimes I sit up at night thinking 333 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,698 I actually could have driven you out of this place. 334 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,868 And if I had, it would have been my biggest failure 335 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,036 and my greatest regret. 336 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,956 I appreciate that. 337 00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:58,833 God, let me be, will you? 338 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,585 I have some decorating I need to attend to. 339 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:04,589 Oh, please let him. I'ma rub his nose in it like a nasty dog. 340 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,969 You know, I've never actually had to sleep in one of these things, 341 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,889 but I am not leaving your side until we get your results. 342 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,600 J.D., would you... 343 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,644 Would you pray with me? 344 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,397 Wow, first curveball. 345 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,482 Of course. 346 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,777 Cox was never religious. 347 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,864 But when you're facing your own mortality, you'll try anything. 348 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,492 Dear God, or whosoever up there, 349 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:37,163 I know I haven't exactly turned to you pretty much ever, 350 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,082 but I need you now. 351 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:44,670 So please, Lord, let that chair fold in on J.D. and quietly suffocate him 352 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,632 so that I might have a few moments of peace, 353 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,468 if these are, in fact, my last few moments. Thanks, God. 354 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:53,471 Go ahead, make your jokes, but I know you're scared. 355 00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,724 For once, just let me be there for you. 356 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:03,314 And there it was, his test results. I knew how I wanted this to play out. 357 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,733 Congratulations! 358 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:09,320 You're the one-millionth person to click on test results. 359 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:13,491 You've won $10,000 and a brand-new Jet Ski. 360 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,534 Oh, no. Not you. Scram. 361 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,912 - J.D., come on, amigo. - Yes. 362 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,915 - To the lake. - Whoo-hoo! 363 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,584 But that's not how these things go. 364 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:24,710 Go ahead... 365 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,296 ...and don't sugarcoat it. 366 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,633 'Cause I understand what everything means on there. 367 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,809 Dr. Tosh, you got a second? 368 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,900 You said that I made you feel like quitting. 369 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:51,279 That would be a real failure on my part if you did. 370 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,448 But I would also be failing as a teacher 371 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,034 if I didn't hold you accountable for your mistakes. 372 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,496 I know I messed up. 373 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,709 I was just afraid it meant I wasn't good enough to be here. 374 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:07,420 So I blamed you and I'm really sorry. 375 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,172 Come here. Come here. 376 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,550 It's okay. 377 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,304 You know, you come across a lot more confident. 378 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:19,348 That's just a part of my brand. 379 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,727 There are many things we fool ourselves 380 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,312 into thinking we have control over. 381 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:26,522 If I make this, Cox is gonna be okay. He's gonna be okay. 382 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,066 Cox is gonna be okay. Come on. Let's go. 383 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,070 That's it. I'm gonna rip your head off and do this with it. 384 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,114 Hey, that counts. 385 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:36,824 That counts! 386 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,451 - But the truth is... - That counts. Come here. 387 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,620 ...we can never predict what's in store for us. 388 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:41,871 You saved a man. 389 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,582 All we can do is be there for each other 390 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,042 when the odds are against us. 391 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,213 It isn't great. 392 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:53,924 But it could be worse. 393 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:56,761 Worse than my own body attacking itself? 394 00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:59,180 This is an autoimmune disease, for God's sake. 395 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:03,184 There's no cure for this. It's a matter of managing the crisis 396 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,394 that's gonna be thrown my way in the bottom of the ninth. 397 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,022 Perry, you know this disease has a high survival rate, 398 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,273 especially since we caught it early. 399 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,859 I'm in the beginning stages of renal failure, J.D. 400 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,778 Yeah, but you can slow all that down. 401 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,989 With aggressive treatment and immunosuppressants, 402 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,825 microscopic polyangiitis can easily go into remission. 403 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:23,287 Did you really think that this couldn't happen? 404 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:28,084 That just 'cause we're out there taking care of all of them, 405 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,002 that we'd get some kind of karmic immunity 406 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,171 to protect us from what's coming for us all? 407 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:37,927 Yes. 408 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:48,354 Will you promise me that you'll keep me alive for a very long time? 409 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:52,316 Because I don't want my death to be the thing that makes you cynical. 410 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,151 - I promise-- - Let me finish. 411 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,363 Because I won't be around here to enjoy it. 412 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:02,618 And even in death, I couldn't bear the irony. 413 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,330 All I can hear is that you're going to let me be your doctor. 414 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:09,834 I'm already tingling from the prospect of our sponge baths there, Agatha. 415 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,088 I tried to protect you from this. 416 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,259 Everything I had. 417 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,597 But I am so scared. 418 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,103 I have a plan. 419 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,023 And I don't care if you don't like it. 420 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:35,651 It is the best path forward. 421 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:39,113 Turk had asked me when I'd stopped needing Dr. Cox's approval. 422 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,241 - Okay. - It was now. 423 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:44,660 Because now... 424 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:45,661 And I got you. 425 00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:47,455 ...he needed me. 426 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,503 {\an8}Listen up, failures. 427 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,048 {\an8}- Watch it. Watch it. - To whomever had the cojones 428 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:01,427 {\an8}to stuff their greedy face-hole with the sandwich 429 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,929 {\an8}I had clearly labeled with my name, 430 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:06,974 {\an8}I hope you enjoyed it, because I will be slicing you open, 431 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,727 {\an8}extracting it and feeding it to you once again, 432 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:13,773 {\an8}but this time, it won't be orally. M'kay? 433 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,901 {\an8}Look how many views you have. It's gone totally viral. 434 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,612 {\an8}All these DJs are remixing it. People just love it. 435 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,113 {\an8}Uh-huh. 436 00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:23,282 {\an8}Bring her to me.