1 00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:04,338 [J.D.] One thing that hasn't changed in teaching hospitals, 2 00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:06,715 burnout still comes for all the interns. 3 00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:08,884 I'm sorry you incurred a small scar during surgery, 4 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,636 but I'd like to remind you you're alive. 5 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,180 -[Dashana] You're welcome. -Dr. Green. Happy Friday. 6 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:16,099 -Have you got any plans for the weekend? -I do, but you know who doesn't? 7 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,184 Your patient in 402. 8 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,602 She's very dead. Sign here. 9 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,731 You're a dream. 10 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:26,443 I have to choose between rectal pain, constipation, and a penis? 11 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,654 I haven't seen the top half of a person in weeks. 12 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:32,199 It's one of the worst things about this job unless you're Winston. 13 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,619 -He's definitely going into proctology. -Yeah. 14 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:37,913 Hey, guys, gather round. 15 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,790 Time to pick them all up. 16 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,292 Look, y'all, this job is very hard, 17 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:46,672 but just remember: "Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations." 18 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,423 Did you get that from a greeting card? 19 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:49,508 No, Dashana. 20 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,301 I got it from those little lady chocolates 21 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,470 with inspirational messages on the wrapper. 22 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,805 Fire off another gem. 23 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,684 Guys, "be the woman you know is inside of you." 24 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:00,978 Think about it. 25 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,149 Wow, you have shockingly smooth hands. 26 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,068 Oh, I wish I could say I was born with these, 27 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:11,071 but it's most likely my moisturizing gloves. You want them? 28 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:14,283 You know what? Just… You take them. Save me from myself. 29 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,617 [chuckles] You're welcome. 30 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:22,082 Dude, what in the actual heck? That girl was smoking. 31 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,667 She was speaking to you. 32 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,419 I-I-I didn't even notice. What's wrong with me? 33 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,547 It's the lady candies, bro. They're messing with your testosterone. 34 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,257 They make me feel fierce and independent. 35 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,883 Give me that. Now you listen to me. 36 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,845 I love you, but I can't get any more 3:00 a.m. texts 37 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,513 about how lonely you are. 38 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,432 I'm a you fan and a Bulls fan. 39 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,475 You're both in slumps, and I need one of y'all to win. 40 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:41,643 Hey, you're shoplifting. 41 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,854 -I am not. -Yes! 42 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:48,817 [J.D.] Blowing my chance with the girl of my dreams put me in a funk, 43 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:52,195 but Maintenance Guy and I had a great ritual when no one was around. 44 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,531 -Be strong. -You be strong. 45 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,616 -We got this. -We got this. 46 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,120 Where the hell have you been? 47 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,288 Good morning, Jordan. 48 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,875 Ever since Cox got diagnosed, Jordan has been all over me. 49 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,585 You know you can't keep us waiting. 50 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,754 For God's sake, Jordan's scales almost dried out. 51 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,632 I'll allow that 'cause you're sick. 52 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,008 It's his mom's fault. 53 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,843 She was genetically weak too. 54 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,094 I have Viking blood. 55 00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:18,722 Oh, that must be nice for pillaging and whatnot. 56 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,350 So come on, be useful. How's he doing? 57 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:24,603 Save your breath. I'm super. We're done. 58 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,273 Ah, Perry, you know very well that I have to get some blood work on you 59 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,983 and check your sed rate and CRP. 60 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,070 -I also need to do a quick physical exam. -Oh. 61 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,154 Do what I do. 62 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:37,908 When you touch him, picture Jamie, my personal trainer. 63 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,701 It makes it way more tolerable. 64 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,161 Take your clothes off. 65 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,413 And I'd like to see that picture of Jamie. 66 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,500 You okay, Ash? 67 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,834 Uh, I lost a patient. 68 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:48,960 I'm sorry. 69 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,213 And Amara put me into the zone of friends. 70 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,589 [J.D.] The friend zone. 71 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,675 Asher, my boy, I've been there. 72 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,051 It'll turn around. 73 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,470 Knowing Asher got kicked in his emotional testicles 74 00:02:58,553 --> 00:02:59,930 made me happy I wasn't an intern. 75 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,391 I'm so glad all my old problems are behind me. 76 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,226 Good day, sir. 77 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,435 Janitor? 78 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,229 -Miss me? -In a suit. 79 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,815 It's Janitor by Janitor. 80 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,359 [scats] 81 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:16,071 ♪ I can't do this all on my own ♪ 82 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,574 ♪ No, I know I'm no Superman ♪ 83 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,371 ♪ I'm no Superman ♪ 84 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,957 Wow, 30 years. 85 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,125 It's actually only been 17. 86 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,293 Well, then you have aged rather poorly. 87 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,545 Why are you here? 88 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:32,921 You know what? It doesn't matter. 89 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:35,674 I'm the Chief of Medicine now. You have no power over me. 90 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,175 Oh, but I do. 91 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,010 See, you're not the only chief around here. 92 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:42,139 You happen to be looking at the Chief Custodian of the Joint Commission. 93 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,015 You're on the Joint Commission? 94 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,350 So you've heard of us. 95 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,019 I'm gonna inspect the whole place. 96 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,521 I'll be in your office. 97 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,897 I changed the locks. 98 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,232 I changed them back. 99 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:57,237 Mr. Jensen was at his daughter's rehearsal dinner. 100 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,780 -Aw. -Not finished. 101 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,365 When he puked and passed out. 102 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,741 And I take back my "Aw." 103 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,994 He's gonna be okay, right? The wedding's tomorrow. 104 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,371 Sweet girl, I wouldn't miss that wedding for anything. 105 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:09,666 My dad missed my wedding because his college swim team had a reunion. 106 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:13,086 Had to get my most masculine aunt to walk me down the aisle. 107 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:17,466 I know an ayahuasca shaman who could maybe make a dent in some of that trauma. 108 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,760 Mmm. Yesterday, I heard my shrink mumble, "Jesus," so yeah, 109 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,013 -I should probably try that. -Yeah. 110 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,514 [chattering] 111 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,600 Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. 112 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,019 That's J.D.'s girl. That's J.D.'s girl. 113 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,438 So, you gonna wingman for your boy? 114 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,356 Hold up. You want me to holler at another woman? 115 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,984 -That sounds like a trap. -It's not a trap. 116 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,861 Look, J.D. is at our house way too much. 117 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,362 It's like a fifth daughter. 118 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,114 You know what? You're absolutely right, baby. 119 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,450 And if you want me to dust off my little player's handbook, 120 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,827 and charm this woman into sleeping with me, 121 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:48,413 I'ma do that for us. 122 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,874 That is not what I said. 123 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:53,877 Hey, ma. 124 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:58,173 I'ma keep it real with you, shorty. You fine. 125 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,384 And I saw you trying to get chocolate at the gift shop and I was like, 126 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:05,680 "Damn, she got it like that and she like chocolate." 127 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:10,018 How about you hook a brother up and drop those digits into my Sidekick? 128 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,102 What's good? 129 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,522 You're really gonna come at me with that? 130 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:18,944 That tired early 2000s, "Hey, ma, shorty this, shorty that" nonsense? 131 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,947 -[Turk] I… I was just-- -Let me guess, you had a lame-ass flattop. 132 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,657 My flattop was awesome. 133 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,867 Bet you can't grow one now. 134 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:27,536 [gasps] 135 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,749 I lost all my game, baby. It's like my flavor expired. 136 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,709 I know, it's adorable. 137 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:39,840 [J.D.] It was her. I knew what I had to do, although I am a bit rusty. 138 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,425 Wait, Turk taught me what to say. 139 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,928 Hey, shorty, you fine. 140 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,429 Let me holler at you. 141 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,306 Wait. Is it "holler" or "challah"? 142 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,724 What are you doing? 143 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,644 I'm practicing things to say, so hopefully I can meet a new woman again. 144 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:56,398 Oh, I think I can speak for all women when I say maybe try dudes. 145 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,067 -Can I help you with something? -Actually, you can. 146 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,194 I don't think Perry respects you as a doctor. 147 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,572 You know, he's refusing any of the blood tests you ordered. 148 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,116 Why? It's just a little prick, and it lasts two minutes. 149 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,034 Aw, is that why Elliot left you? 150 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:09,619 Goodbye. 151 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,372 Hey, Jordan, long time no see. 152 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,499 I know, and I'm so grateful. 153 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,835 Will you accept the still-mean-and-hot five? 154 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:18,587 I will. 155 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,338 [sighs] Look at that. 156 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:24,217 Hopeless, overwhelmed by death, each one of them with the slouched, 157 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,511 defeated posture of intern burnout. 158 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,555 My money's on TikTok Doc to snap first. 159 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,766 -Oh, my God, what is wrong with you? -You're right. 160 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,978 Fairy Potter's about seconds away from dropping out of Hogwarts. 161 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,480 Look, I almost called it when I was an intern. 162 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,524 Dr. Kelso used to leave business cards in my locker 163 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,860 for strip clubs he thought could use a "crying blonde." 164 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:42,944 [chuckles] 165 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,614 So I'm not gonna bet against these kids. I'm going to help them. 166 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,157 [Kevin] Good luck with that. 167 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,034 [scoffs] 168 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,329 Look, you guys, I know it's been a really crappy day, 169 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:55,123 but I want to try and get a dad to his daughter's wedding. Who's in? 170 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,207 [all muttering] 171 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,334 Okay, how's this? 172 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,418 You have to help. 173 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,211 Should have been a stripper. 174 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,088 Tried it, not as fun as it sounds. 175 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,342 What is going on? 176 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,302 Do you not respect me as a doctor? 177 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,721 I've been trying to tell you that for 20 years, 178 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,681 and you finally get it. 179 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,516 I am so very proud of you. 180 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,643 What the hell, man? 181 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,102 Why didn't you get those tests? 182 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,229 I'm going to let you in on a little something. 183 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,107 If you tap on the wall back there, 184 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:25,779 you will find Kelso's secret stash of porn from the '30s. 185 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:29,866 Have you ever watched a naughty movie set to old-timey piano music? 186 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,202 [♪ piano plays] 187 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,286 [J.D.] Nope. 188 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:36,414 Quit being a pain in the ass and tell me what is going on. 189 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,918 Fine. I think the treatment is working, and I feel okay right now. 190 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,378 If I go ahead and get these tests, 191 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,046 and they tell me something different, 192 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,298 that all goes away. 193 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,591 Listen to me. 194 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:49,719 I truly believe that going into these things 195 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,847 with a positive headspace makes a complete difference. 196 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,183 You're the one who taught me this, 197 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,811 so you need to turn your whole attitude around 198 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,479 and go get those tests, 199 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,065 and you do respect me as a doctor. 200 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,901 Okay. 201 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,778 Okay to everything I said? 202 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,279 The attitude and the test thing. 203 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:11,366 If I started to respect you, I'd have to go ahead 204 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,536 and have them drain all the blood out of me because dementia will have set in. 205 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,372 This has been a lovely patient-doctor conference. 206 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,540 [whistles] Out of my office. 207 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,376 It's actually my office, but we'll save that fight for another time. 208 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,460 Get out! 209 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,215 Oh, boy, it's 2000s guy. 210 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:30,260 I'm sorry, I know my husband came off a little creepy earlier. 211 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,345 -He tried to pick me up. -If I was trying to pick you up, 212 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,763 -you would've got picked. -Calm down. 213 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,098 Okay. 214 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,600 Look, we think you're so lovely, and-- 215 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,436 Let me stop you, okay? 216 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:43,273 No judgment on your lifestyle, but I'm pretty traditional. 217 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,900 I'm really just looking for a nice, sensitive guy 218 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,153 who would rather watch a musical than a football game. 219 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,072 -[gasps] You are. -Oh, my God, you're perfect. 220 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,615 Can't you just please come upstairs with us? 221 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,992 It'll only take a couple of minutes. 222 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:58,413 I'm gonna walk away, and if you follow me, I'm going to yell, "Stranger danger." 223 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,458 And I'm short enough where people think I'm a child all the time. 224 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:05,879 [sighs] Looks like we're gonna have to find another hot lady to have sex with us. 225 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,756 Are you out of your damn mind? 226 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,424 Okay, team, what's our goal? 227 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,593 To get Mr. Jensen to the wedding. Whoo! 228 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,304 Oh. Can I get some whoos from the rest of you? 229 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,556 -D-train does the whoos for the group. -Whoo! 230 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,059 Fine. He has a possible bowel obstruction. What do we need to do? 231 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,977 Get him to mobilize his intestines on his own? 232 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,146 Correct. And when will we know if that happens? 233 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,149 When he, as you all say, passes gas. 234 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,234 Everything comes down to poo and toots. 235 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,611 Blake, Tosh, get him on neostigmine. 236 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,029 Asher, get a stat CT. 237 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,031 Amara, Dashana, drop an NG tube. 238 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,199 We have got this. 239 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,658 [all] Whoo. 240 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,789 Aw. Feeling left out? 241 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,749 You shouldn't have established yourself as the mean one. 242 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,667 Now you don't get to kiki in the group chat. 243 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,337 Yeah, I think you're the biggest bitch in the building. 244 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,256 Sweetie, I may be bitchy, but I love those children. Watch this. 245 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,301 Tosh, your hair is trash today. Go fix yourself in the mirror, honey. 246 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,178 You look like you've spent the night on all fours. 247 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,346 Okay, vibes. 248 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,766 -I wish. Clock it. [laughs] -Clock it, baby. 249 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,894 You've got all that IQ, and you're still too stupid to see you're plain old mean. 250 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,312 Now watch me walk. 251 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,609 Don't panic. I found a bomb. 252 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:10,860 That's a toaster. 253 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,028 I know it's a toaster. 254 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,030 Could I turn it into an exploding toaster? 255 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,615 Yes, have done many a time. 256 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,826 -Why? -Mostly to avoid paying debt. 257 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,829 Look, in a hospital with compressed oxygen, 258 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:23,456 this is basically a bomb. 259 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,750 You want to pass your inspection next month, don't you? 260 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:26,835 -Yes. -Okay. 261 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,838 Get rid of all those open containers, 262 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:32,632 and cutting down on rats by 10% always helps. 263 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:35,760 You know what? I don't believe you're on the Joint Commission for one second, 264 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:36,928 so let's give them a ring. 265 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,638 Oh, no, I'm caught. 266 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,224 -[phone ringing] -Hold that, I have to take this. 267 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,520 Hello, Joint Commission, please listen closely as our menu has changed. 268 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,814 For movie times, press one. 269 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,149 For two, press five. 270 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,692 [sighs] 271 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,735 Hey, don't you walk away from me. 272 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,320 I care about this place. 273 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,447 Blonde doctor, bald doctor. 274 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,408 Todd, didn't like him. 275 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,701 So we decompressed him. 276 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,911 We gave him meds to stimulate peristalsis. 277 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,246 Now we wait for what? Tosh. 278 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,123 [British accent] We wait for him to toot. 279 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,207 [normal voice] Was that good? 280 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,126 -It was absolutely horrible. -[Dubois] Oh. Dr. Reid. 281 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,046 -[gasps] Okay. -So there's no obstruction. 282 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:17,802 [J.D.] Finally, something I hadn't seen on my interns' faces in a long time, 283 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,304 a little joy. 284 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,347 -[monitor beeping] -Wait, what's happening? 285 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:24,559 Complete heart block. 286 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,394 -Set up a transvenous pacing wire. -[daughter] Dad? 287 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,730 [J.D.] But it never seems to last around here. 288 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,898 [♪ "Way I Go" plays] 289 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:33,151 ♪ Feel heavily ♪ 290 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,652 ♪ No gravity ♪ 291 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:35,778 [phone beeps] 292 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,032 [J.D.] These test results didn't help. 293 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:46,247 [chuckling] You know what, oldie? You were right. 294 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:50,043 I dialed in the positive thinking, got off my ass, even found the energy 295 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,086 to go kick in the glass of that vending machine 296 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,047 when it wouldn't give me my SunChips. 297 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,007 So I'm back, baby. 298 00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,176 Go ahead, give me the good news. 299 00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:02,013 Perry, unfortunately, your test results weren't what we were hoping for. 300 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,021 I'm not sure why… 301 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,775 but the treatment isn't working. 302 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:17,528 I'll be damned. 303 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,947 [♪ song ends] 304 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,662 Morning. [sighs] You get your test results back? 305 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,748 -Not yet. -Why not? It's been a day. 306 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,336 -What's happening here? -Just making breakfast. 307 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,712 Jesus, Perry. 308 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,090 Little cream, please. 309 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,177 -Hair of the dog. -Wow. 310 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,514 [J.D.] I wasn't really awake yet, so I had no idea 311 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,892 what Dr. Cox meant when he texted me, "Tell her nothing." 312 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,852 -[thuds] -Good morning, sunshine. 313 00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:51,354 [J.D.] Now I get it. 314 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:55,191 Oh. I knew I wouldn't be interrupting you with a sexually satisfied woman 315 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,777 of any kind, so I jimmied your door open. 316 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,488 And now I got to hire a man who knows how to use tools to fix that. 317 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:01,656 If you're the Chief of Medicine, 318 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,825 how come you haven't gotten Perry's test results back? 319 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,576 [J.D.] Lie, but make it believable. 320 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,161 I'm afraid of confronting people. 321 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,496 Too real. 322 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,039 You should change your pronouns. 323 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,207 Why don't you grow a pair? 324 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,376 Get dressed. You got to drive me home. I Ubered here 325 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,170 because I'm still a little buzzy from my morning coffee. 326 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,422 [slurps] 327 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,425 The stress that the bowel obstruction put on your body 328 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:24,846 uncovered a heart condition that luckily is very treatable. 329 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,889 That's the good news. 330 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,975 Dr. Turk. 331 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,519 You really gonna make me do the bad news? 332 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,979 [Elliot] Just shut up and do it, Turk. 333 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,609 I know it's your daughter's wedding day, but that pacemaker needs to go in today. 334 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,446 I want you to go ahead with your wedding. 335 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,197 No, we'll postpone. 336 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,699 We'll give you two a minute. 337 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,660 [Elliot sighs] 338 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,497 You guys did a great job treating Mr. Jensen, so I want a whoo. 339 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,666 -I'm not feeling it. -[Turk] D-train, come on. 340 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,334 Whoo. 341 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,336 Yeah, totally not worth it. 342 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,088 Sometimes, I hate this place. 343 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,216 -Sometimes, I do too. -[Turk] Hmm. 344 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,302 Sorry you guys couldn't get your patient to the wedding. 345 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,095 -And? -And nothing. 346 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,889 I'm being nice. 347 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,141 Wait a second. Why can't we just have the wedding here? 348 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,060 I'm not taking him to the OR for a few hours. 349 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,062 Have the wedding in this hospital? 350 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:15,146 That's disgusting. 351 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,856 We got married in this hospital, Kevin. 352 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,649 Oh, well, then it's beautiful. 353 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,235 If you guys need any help, just let me know. 354 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,364 You know what? If this is what being nice is like, 355 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,241 then I'm going back to being a bitch. 356 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,748 Hey, why doesn't Jordan know about your test results? 357 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,793 Same reason I watched the Michael Jordan documentary 358 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,461 eight minutes at a time on the toilet. 359 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,464 So she never sees me tear up. 360 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,550 Turk did the exact same thing, but I could hear him whimpering. 361 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,470 I need to be strong and invulnerable for her, 362 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,638 and you should understand that. 363 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:52,058 It's the same thing you always wanted me to be for you, 364 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,185 and while I resent you for it, 365 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:58,648 I don't mind when she does it because, on occasion, 366 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,984 she lets me have sex with her. 367 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,945 Do you know what's better than sex? 368 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,905 Emotional intimacy. 369 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,782 Would you like to say that again out loud? 370 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,909 -No, I don't like the way it came out. -So look it. 371 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:14,038 Next time you see us, just go ahead and act like you're saying this 372 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:17,041 for the first time and I'll be prepared to be strong. 373 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,043 I will not lie. 374 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,213 But I will perform. 375 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,883 While I ruminated about getting into character, 376 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:29,720 I took solace in the fact that the interns had finally gotten a win. 377 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:34,100 And by the power vested in me by a very progressive online church… 378 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,644 -[all chuckle] -…I now pronounce you husband and wife. 379 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,187 You may kiss your bride. 380 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,317 [J.D.] It's easy to get used to the feeling that the hospital is a place 381 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,069 where only bad things happen. 382 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,072 So if you can make something beautiful happen there… 383 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,742 Well, it really makes a difference. 384 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,203 Good job. 385 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,540 Elliot had shown them how to find light in the darkness. 386 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,127 [shutter clicking] 387 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,211 [Amara] Smile! 388 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,965 [J.D.] As fun as this was, it was time to perform. 389 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,384 The numbers aren't what we hoped for. I'm sorry. 390 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,887 -[sighs] -Perry. 391 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:16,559 Now, Jordan, honey, I can always tell when you're getting emotional, and don't. 392 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,603 [chuckles] I'm all good. 393 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:22,607 Even as a patient, you teach me how to be a better doctor. 394 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,691 Nailed it. 395 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:26,694 You are welcome. The fight starts today. 396 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:27,778 Here we go, Jordan. 397 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:28,988 Wait. 398 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:33,743 My BS detector is beeping louder than when you say you like to hear my dreams. 399 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,828 -He's mean to me in my dreams. -Same. 400 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,747 So you guys knew about this the whole time? 401 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,833 Twelve summers at theater camp, and that's the best you can do? 402 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,252 -I mostly did costumes. -What the hell, Perry? 403 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,546 I'm-I'm sorry, I just… 404 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,425 I love the way you see me, and I didn't want to lose that. 405 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:54,013 If it helps, I've always seen you as a whiny baby man. 406 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,389 [sighs] 407 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,558 Why don't you let me be the strong one for once? 408 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,019 [smacks lips] Okay. 409 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,899 If you stare at us any longer, we're gonna have to start charging you. 410 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,401 I just want what you guys have. 411 00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,694 It'll never happen. 412 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,988 -You don't have the pain threshold. -Mm-mmm. 413 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,575 [J.D.] Doesn't matter. Nothing can kill my mood. 414 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:20,623 Oh, hey, this is a different toaster that I got for you as a gift. 415 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,417 Don't plug it in here. 416 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,503 -Wait till you get home. -No, thank you. 417 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,338 Well, I'll just put it under your car. 418 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,589 [J.D.] Run away. Any room. 419 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,007 I have a patient to see. 420 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,888 -"Couple of…" -Hello. 421 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,724 Hello. Hi. It's you. 422 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,560 -Hi, I'm, uh, uh… -Charlie. [chuckles] 423 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:44,772 -J.D., very nice to meet you. Officially. -Nice to meet you. [chuckles] 424 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,482 Uh. Oh, right, Grandma, 425 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,527 remember the cute guy I told you about that stole my lady candy? 426 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,487 [J.D.] Okay, time to challah at her. 427 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,739 Hey, if you're free later, how do you feel 428 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:58,286 about maybe being my plus-one to a complete stranger's wedding reception? 429 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,664 [♪ "I Melt With You (7" Mix)" plays] 430 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,213 I think I'm starting to remember what fun is. 431 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,173 The second from the right. 432 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,134 I'd love to be her bad decision for the evening. 433 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:16,345 [groans] The second from the right's been eyeing me since the ceremony. 434 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,430 No. 435 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,098 Take notes. 436 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,768 -She just took your girl. -[Blake] Hmm. 437 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,687 Come on, let's dance. 438 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,983 Two pints of the Penny's pale ale, please. 439 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,861 -How about you? Do you want to dance? -I don't really dance. 440 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,029 Cool. 441 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:41,537 What? [chuckles] Blame that on the alcohol. 442 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,456 -Our drinks haven't arrived yet. -Shiggidy. 443 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,749 Uh. Okay. 444 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,584 I really like you. 445 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,502 I have since day one. 446 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,254 I just think you're really sweet and funny, 447 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,632 and I think you deserve someone who also thinks that, 448 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,717 and that's this lady. [chuckles] 449 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,227 -Photo booth? -Photo booth. [chuckles] 450 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,355 [♪ "Wake Me Up (Radio Edit)" plays] 451 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,776 Oh, just a heads up, my ex is here, but we're super close. 452 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:12,860 It won't be awkward. 453 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,071 -Wow, she's beautiful. -Yeah. 454 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,489 What was she like in bed? 455 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,200 -Seriously? [chuckles] -It was a joke. 456 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,203 Oh, my God, you are wound so tight. 457 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,788 I'm getting you a drink. What do you want? 458 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,164 [J.D.] Don't say appletini. 459 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,916 A man beer, please. 460 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,004 -That was smooth. -Yeah. 461 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,840 -You want me to sneak you an appletini? -I was just about to text you. 462 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:37,093 A little alcohol really does loosen some people up. 463 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,136 [guests cheering, whistling] 464 00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,806 Turk needs to go to his gym. 465 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,599 [♪ "Sweet Thing" plays] 466 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,476 [J.D.] That's the thing about our world. 467 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,229 No matter how hard it gets, we're here for each other. 468 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:51,732 We pick each other up, cry with each other. 469 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,069 We even make some bad decisions. 470 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,863 Even though I was only pretending to like 471 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:00,866 what tasted like the urine of a large bear, 472 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,451 my smile was real. 473 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,661 [phone beeps] 474 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,582 And of course, if someone in the family is struggling, we're there. 475 00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,668 I-I have to go check on a patient. 476 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,920 It's kind of important. Can I call you later? 477 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:17,007 Oh, you think I'm going to be turned on because you have to go save a life? 478 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,052 Well, you're right. [chuckles] 479 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,558 -Call me later. -I will call you later. 480 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:26,851 Don't meet anyone. 481 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,811 [laughs] 482 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:32,314 [J.D.] Dr. Cox had asked me to come back to Sacred Heart and make a difference. 483 00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:35,317 And I don't know yet if I have. 484 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:39,739 But as I look back at my students and my friends… 485 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:45,286 I felt such gratitude for the difference this job had made in me. 486 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:51,333 And now it was time to show up for the man who could finally admit he needed me. 487 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,418 [phone beeps] 488 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,172 "Sorry, that wasn't for you." 489 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,423 [scoffs] 490 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,926 Too late. 491 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,596 [♪ song ends] 492 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,228 So you were just gonna leave without saying goodbye? 493 00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,605 [J.D.] I was hoping to. 494 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,399 I left a list of things that need fixing with this young man. 495 00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:18,652 I would like you to meet my son. 496 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,529 [chuckles] Hey, Dr. D. 497 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,531 [J.D.] Maintenance Guy is the Janitor's son? 498 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,450 Nice. This guy loves me. 499 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,203 That's so great that your dad was able to get you a job here. 500 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,454 [both] Excuse me. 501 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,749 Are you calling my boy a nepo baby? 502 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,794 Daddy, did he just say I'm a nepo janitor? 503 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,837 -[J.D.] Ruh-roh. -Yes, Son, he did. 504 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:39,131 I told you the world is a cruel place. 505 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,177 You don't think I can get my own job? [chuckles] 506 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,804 You're gonna pay for this. 507 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,806 There you go. Order restored. 508 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,642 I thought we got this. 509 00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,685 We don't got this. 510 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,730 [Janitor] Auf Wiedersehen.