1 00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:10,803 Oh, my gosh. 2 00:00:19,395 --> 00:00:22,523 ♪ Oh, when you walk by every night ♪ 3 00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,900 - ♪ Talking sweet and looking fine ♪ - Thank you very much. 4 00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:28,988 - ♪ I get kind of hectic inside... - Thank you. 5 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,783 {\an8} 6 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,039 - Hi, Mrs. Woods. - Hi. 7 00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:40,750 You look beautiful. 8 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,253 ♪ Darling, if you only knew all the things... 9 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,464 - Hi, Mr. Woods. - Hey. 10 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:51,427 ♪ But it's just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby ♪ 11 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,138 ♪ When I close my eyes... 12 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,641 Happy birthday, Elle. 13 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:02,354 Let's give it up one more time for the birthday girl... 14 00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:04,315 ...Elle Woods. 15 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:08,360 ♪ It's just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby ♪ 16 00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,696 ♪ When I close my eyes ♪ 17 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,573 ♪ you come and take me ♪ 18 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:14,492 ♪ On and on and on ♪ 19 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:18,662 ♪ Sweet, sweet fantasy, baby ♪ 20 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,623 ♪ Sweet, sweet fantasy ♪ 21 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,832 ♪ baby ♪♪ 22 00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,959 Thank you, DJ Jonathan. 23 00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:27,379 I know today is supposed to be my day, but... 24 00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:29,089 but really, it's about you. 25 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,426 Because, as I look out at all your faces... 26 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:36,388 ...I see so many people who made me into the woman I am today. 27 00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:39,391 I know everyone sees me and thinks, 28 00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:42,686 "Eh, she knows exactly who she is and what she wants," 29 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:45,105 and they're right. 30 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,608 But you all played a huge part in that. 31 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:51,111 Tiffany, you helped me find my signature scent. 32 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,739 Mrs. Campbell, 33 00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,866 you showed me the importance of an SPF. 34 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,577 And Madison, 35 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:01,497 my best friend of 12.5 years, 36 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,375 I can't even count the number of times you saved me 37 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,960 from overplucking my eyebrows. 38 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,920 - I know. - If it weren't for you, 39 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:10,923 I would look like the Mona Lisa in my yearbook photo. 40 00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,885 She's not done yet, honey. She's landing the plane. 41 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,720 - Oh. - Thank you. 42 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,722 Thank you. 43 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,851 So, I would just like to raise a glass to all of you. 44 00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:23,853 My friends, my world. 45 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:26,480 I'm so lucky to have this life. 46 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,315 I wouldn't change a thing. 47 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:29,608 Aww. 48 00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:32,444 Cheers. 49 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:34,071 We love you! 50 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:38,409 Maybe something like Madonna 51 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,994 but not exactly Madonna. 52 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:43,706 Madonna two years ago, not Madonna now. 53 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,339 ♪ Walking on, walking on... 54 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,676 Amazing speech. 55 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,678 - Thank you. - Although we had that falling-out 56 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,638 in third grade, when you got your ears pierced without me. 57 00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:02,766 So, technically, it's only been 12 years of friendship. 58 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,852 I thought we swore never to speak of that again. 59 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,562 Okay. 60 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,188 Let's talk junior year. 61 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,815 I'm assuming that you've put together 62 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,692 some five-point plan to allow us 63 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,528 - to dominate 11th grade. - Uh, no. 64 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,406 It's a three-point plan. 65 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,824 - More concise, that's better. - Mm-hmm. 66 00:03:18,908 --> 00:03:20,451 - Step one... - Mm-hmm? 67 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,453 ...solidify our friendships with the coolest senior girls 68 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,955 so our reputations are firmly in place when they graduate. 69 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,165 - Obviously. - Mm-hmm. 70 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,583 - Mm-hmm. - Step two, 71 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,627 become group leaders on the cheer squad. 72 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,211 Mm, that's inevitable. 73 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:34,548 And step three, and this is probably the most important step of all... 74 00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:36,383 Mm-hmm. 75 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:39,470 ...have the most perfect first kiss with the most perfect guy. 76 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,096 Let me guess. 77 00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,765 Hot Josh? 78 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,601 Do you want me to talk to him for you? 79 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:48,270 - No. I have a better idea. - Okay. 80 00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,397 I'm gonna start a rumor that he has a crush on me. 81 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,734 And then he'll hear the rumor, and he'll start to wonder... 82 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:54,944 "Do I have a crush on her?" 83 00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,571 And then we'll be in the most perfect location together. 84 00:03:57,655 --> 00:04:00,199 A Bryan Adams song will start to play, 85 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,700 and then he'll kiss me. 86 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,204 Or you could just talk to him now. 87 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,414 - That's not really part of the plan-- - Oh, Josh! 88 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,083 - Come here! Come here, come here. - M-Madison. Madison. 89 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:12,378 - Plan. The plan. - I will get right on that. 90 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,463 Yes. Mm. 91 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,965 Oh. 92 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,257 Happy birthday. 93 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,093 Thanks, Hot... 94 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:22,096 Josh. You are so sweet. 95 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:24,807 Uh, well, I'm-I'm really glad Madison called me over. 96 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,101 There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. 97 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,811 Really? 98 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,731 ♪ To really ♪ 99 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:34,274 ♪ love a woman ♪ 100 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,820 - ♪ To understand... - So, I've been thinking about you, 101 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,780 - actually. - Yeah? 102 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,782 And... 103 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,702 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 104 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,912 ♪ to you ♪ 105 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,038 - ♪ Happy birthday ♪ - Sorry. 106 00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:49,707 It's okay. 107 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,001 ♪ to you ♪ 108 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:57,047 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Elle ♪ 109 00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:02,261 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪ 110 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,556 Happy birthday, sweetie. 111 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,744 - Hi, honey. - Uh, just one second. 112 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,370 I'm almost done learning about women 113 00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:29,997 who can't experience intimacy. 114 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,498 Oh. 115 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:32,750 Uh, Elle. 116 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,711 We have something important we want to talk to you about. 117 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,337 Oh, God. 118 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,423 Is this about Marlena? 119 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,966 Wh... 120 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:44,428 - Which one's Marlena? - S... It's Days of Our Lives. 121 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,430 - Oh. - She's been possessed by pure evil, 122 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,932 so John performed an exorcism on her, 123 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,060 but then she went into cardiac arrest and died. 124 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:54,438 So, this is, um... it's about your dad. 125 00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:00,736 You remember that nose job I did on... you know? 126 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,446 Oh, of course. 127 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,448 It didn't set. 128 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,492 What do you mean, it didn't set? 129 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:07,910 Um... 130 00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,829 It kind of... 131 00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:13,457 Dad, that's social suicide. 132 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,001 I know. She had to drop out of her next movie. It's a mess. 133 00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:18,295 And word's starting to spread that it's my fault, 134 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,547 - there might be a lawsuit-- - So, so... 135 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:24,718 we are gonna have to lay low for a little bit. 136 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,554 Of course. 137 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,348 I didn't know you were carrying all of this, Dad. 138 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,974 Oh, I'm so glad you feel that way, 139 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,935 because I've had to look for other work. 140 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,521 People in smaller markets that need someone with my background. 141 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,606 That's exactly what you should be doing. 142 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,108 Way to be proactive. 143 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,652 I found a place. 144 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,946 Uh, it's a private practice. Only one other doctor. 145 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,240 I can't afford to be choosy right now. 146 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,117 That's great. What's it called? 147 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,204 Seattle's Elite. 148 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,332 Because the other doctor's from Seattle? 149 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,084 Because the practice is in Seattle. 150 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,210 And they're opening an office here? 151 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,462 - No, the office is in Seattle. - And you'll commute to Seattle-- 152 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:02,256 Elle, we're moving to Seattle. 153 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:05,384 No. 154 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,345 It doesn't sound right. 155 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,140 Just until people forget about this whole situation. 156 00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:12,891 How long will that be? 157 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:14,935 Couple years. 158 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,436 That's my whole life. 159 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,438 Hey. Hey. 160 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,733 The Woods family is adaptable. 161 00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,361 - Mm-hmm. - Do you remember when those coyotes 162 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,489 wandered over during my Night Before the Night Before Party? 163 00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,116 - Yes. - I told everyone, 164 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,701 "Uh, we imported them for ambiance." 165 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,579 And guess what? We all had a great time. 166 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,831 - We did. - This is just like that. 167 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,250 Except for longer. 168 00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,271 Hey. 169 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,024 It's nothing a little grief shopping can't fix. 170 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,067 Okay, okay. Here's what you have to do. 171 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,485 You know your dad feels guilty, right? 172 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:06,904 - Yeah, yeah. - So, you prey on that guilt, 173 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,280 and then you lock it away. 174 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:09,865 And then you start to collect interest on it 175 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,700 until one day you need something from him, 176 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,327 - and he owes you big-time. - Mm-hmm. 177 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,745 - Wh... that works? - Oh, yeah. 178 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,788 My dad forgot my birthday, like, five years ago, 179 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:19,458 and now I can have boys over with the door closed. 180 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,210 But that doesn't help me now. 181 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,128 I still have to move to... 182 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,840 I can't even say it. 183 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,383 Seattle. 184 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:29,885 - Aww. - Hey, we'll talk all the time. 185 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,178 And we'll come visit you. 186 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,763 I've never been to Seattle. 187 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,223 It sounds... 188 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,557 - North. - Yeah? 189 00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:37,142 - Yeah. - Your life is not over. 190 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:38,894 It's just different. 191 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,103 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 192 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,313 - Mm-hmm. - Oh. 193 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,858 - Elle. - I'm coming. 194 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,778 Honey, the movers are almost here. 195 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:53,075 I see where all my Ferrero Rocher went. 196 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,910 I'm not leaving. 197 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,078 Elle. 198 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:59,539 I'm faking my own death. 199 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,042 - Look how dead I look. - That's too bad. 200 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:05,462 I had a gift for you, but I guess I'll have to give it 201 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,297 to someone who's alive. 202 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,676 Does it rhyme with "Mersace"? 203 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,678 Even better. 204 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,560 Oh, my God! 205 00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,729 - Oh, is he mine? - He's yours. 206 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,147 - Oh! - Ah! 207 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,357 I know. 208 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,401 He's so cute. 209 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,445 Aww... Wait. 210 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:35,742 Did you adopt or did you shop? 211 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,078 The Spellings just redecorated, 212 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,289 and earth tones don't match their new color palette, 213 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:45,294 so I rescued this little blondie from them. 214 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,212 Aww. 215 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,589 My God, you are just a baby. 216 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,592 I bet you're a Gemini like me. 217 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:55,721 Oh! And such a tough guy. 218 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,889 Oh, you need a tough guy name. 219 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,684 I know. 220 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,686 Bruiser. 221 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,528 - I am gonna miss her. - Of course. 222 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:16,033 Honey, you'll talk every single day on the phone. Like you do now. 223 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,035 We can do this. 224 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,119 Get in here. 225 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,455 Oh, my God. 226 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,081 Who is this? 227 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,875 This is Bruiser. 228 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,169 - Bruiser, you're so cute. - Hi, little guy. 229 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:29,463 I didn't realize I'd been replaced already. 230 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,305 I could never replace you. 231 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,309 You can do this. 232 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,877 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 233 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:15,092 ♪ I'm only happy when it's complicated ♪ 234 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,094 {\an8}♪ And though I know you can't ♪ 235 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,096 ♪ appreciate it ♪ 236 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,098 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 237 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,143 ♪ Pour your ♪ 238 00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:27,145 {\an8}- ♪ misery down ♪ ♪ Pour your misery ♪ 239 00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:31,149 {\an8}- ♪ Pour your misery down on me ♪ ♪ down, pour your misery ♪ 240 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:35,153 - ♪ Pour your misery down ♪ - ♪ down, pour ♪ 241 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:39,157 {\an8}♪ You can keep me company as long as ♪ 242 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,201 ♪ you don't care ♪ 243 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:46,123 {\an8}♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 244 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:50,502 {\an8}♪ You wanna hear about my new obsession? ♪ 245 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,504 {\an8}♪ I'm riding high upon ♪ 246 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,965 ♪ a deep depression ♪ 247 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,426 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 248 00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:01,012 ♪ Pour some misery down on me ♪ 249 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:03,932 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 250 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,809 ♪ Pour some misery down ♪♪ 251 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,561 Oh, this is us. 252 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:23,660 I know, it's scary. 253 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,746 But this is just gonna be our new home for a little while. 254 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,589 Was a funeral home 255 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,299 using this place as storage? 256 00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,050 It came furnished. 257 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,552 Isn't that convenient? 258 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,804 Nope. Okay. 259 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,371 Bruiser. 260 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,248 We have to give Seattle a shot. 261 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:17,047 ♪ Roam if you want to ♪ 262 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,634 ♪ Roam around the world ♪ 263 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:24,471 ♪ Roam if you want to ♪ 264 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,682 ♪ Without wings, without wheels ♪ 265 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,519 ♪ Roam if you want to ♪ 266 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,022 ♪ Roam around the world... 267 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,232 Bruiser? 268 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,608 Wish me luck. 269 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,781 ♪ Without anything but the love we feel ♪♪ 270 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,743 - Do you have your beeper? - Yes. 271 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,828 - Lunch money? - Yes. 272 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:50,705 Your armor? 273 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,123 My what? 274 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,418 It is my armor. 275 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,045 I know. 276 00:13:58,255 --> 00:14:00,215 Whoa! 277 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,466 Oh, my God! 278 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,263 Oh. 279 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,976 Where are the manners? 280 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,855 Boo! Boo. Boo. 281 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,945 Hey. 282 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,072 It's gonna be fine. 283 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,492 Feeling very blond. 284 00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:30,787 There's another one. 285 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,957 - Mom, her roots. - I know. 286 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,792 Yeah, I hope that's a choice. 287 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,547 Hey. 288 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:42,924 You got this. 289 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,865 ♪ Get out of my way ♪ 290 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,241 - ♪ or I might shove... - Nice umbrella. 291 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:09,743 Thanks. It's an heirloom. 292 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,786 She's joking. You look like an idiot. 293 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,997 ♪ or I'm gonna shove ♪ 294 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,291 ♪ Landlord doesn't like my dog ♪ 295 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:20,879 - ♪ Shove ♪ - ♪ My eyes are burning from the smog ♪ 296 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,380 - Hi. - Ew. 297 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,965 - ♪ Shove ♪ - ♪ My neighbors ♪ 298 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,343 ♪ say I jam too loud... 299 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,553 Ooh. Chess. 300 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,263 I love smart people. 301 00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,098 So you hate yourself. 302 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,101 ♪ Get out of my way ♪ 303 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,979 ♪ or I might shove ♪ 304 00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:39,939 ♪ Get out of my way ♪ 305 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,651 ♪ or I'm gonna shove ♪♪ 306 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,319 It's a total straw man argument. 307 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,863 No one actually thinks that Eddie Vedder 308 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,033 - is better than Kurt Cobain. - Thank you. 309 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,785 Now if you were to say Chris Cornell... 310 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,953 No way, dude. 311 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,429 Did you do anything fun over the summer? 312 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:13,932 Mm-hmm. 313 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,059 What? 314 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,395 This summer. Did you do anything fun? 315 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,479 What do you mean? 316 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,069 W-What's that? 317 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,445 A zine. 318 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,948 Oh, like, a magazine? 319 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:34,828 I have two subscriptions to Cosmo, one for my archives and one I can crease. 320 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,871 No, like, a zine. 321 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,334 Cool. What else are you into? 322 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,211 Did-did someone put you up to this? 323 00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:46,715 I'm Elle. I like iced coffee, the month of July, 324 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:50,510 and when people dress kind of tennisy, even if they don't play tennis. 325 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:52,637 Was it Kimberly? 326 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,933 Uh, welcome to first period. 327 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,018 I am Mr. Nichols, 328 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,604 and this is... 329 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,941 ...English. Okay. 330 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,777 Let's just dive right into it. 331 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:12,198 Much Ado About Nothing. 332 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,492 It was the shortest thing on your summer reading list, 333 00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:17,871 so it's kind of a gimme. Ah, yes? 334 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,874 First of all, nice to meet you. 335 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:24,753 Second of all, I never received a summer reading list. 336 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:26,838 It was mailed out in May. 337 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,883 Yeah, I, uh... I actually didn't know 338 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,384 I'd be going to this school until kind of recently. 339 00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:34,637 There was this whole thing with my dad. 340 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,473 Don't ask. 341 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,933 Like, seriously don't ask. I can't talk about it. 342 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,643 NDA. 343 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,480 Well, you'll have to read the play this week, 344 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:47,108 because you will each be writing a paper on its themes 345 00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,860 this weekend. 346 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,153 Hi. 347 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:53,239 Hi. At my old school, we were given the option 348 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,033 to have our own take on the assignment. 349 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,367 Is that an option here? 350 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,952 Uh, your own take? 351 00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:01,831 Yeah. Like, we could create a song based on the reading or a short film. 352 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,292 I went to middle school with Tim Burton's nephew, 353 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,169 and you have not experienced Tuck Everlasting 354 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,171 until you've seen it in stop-motion. 355 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,675 I'm sure I haven't, but I would say "no." 356 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,053 That's not an option. 357 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,679 A paper is a paper. 358 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,390 Oh. 359 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,771 Just try to keep up. Okay? 360 00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,316 So, Much Ado About Nothing. What is it? It is a play. 361 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,109 And what do we know about it? 362 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:34,364 It was written by William Shakespeare, the great bard himself. 363 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,784 We're still accepting donations for the auction. 364 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,036 Still accepting donations for the auction. 365 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,497 We're still accepting donations for the auction. 366 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,749 Holy Pierce Brosnan. 367 00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:47,544 - We're accepting donations. - A kindred spirit. 368 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:51,339 So nice to meet a fellow stranger in a strange land. 369 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:53,925 Did I see you this morning? 370 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:58,721 You're the guy who almost hit my mom's car with your skateboard. 371 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,849 I thought you were a jerk, but you're just British. 372 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,518 You're used to driving on the wrong side of the road, 373 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,645 which I totally get. 374 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:08,064 Not the driving thing. I'm not from here, either. 375 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,524 Wow. 376 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,484 Is this place different, right? 377 00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:12,652 Right. 378 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,946 Have you noticed how many hoodies they wear? 379 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,115 What is that about? 380 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,908 I'm Elle Woo-- Oh. 381 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:22,954 Dustin. And I've lived here for, like, nine years, 382 00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:25,415 so that's most of my life. 383 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,916 Cool. 384 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,252 I'll just go to my locker. 385 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,135 Which is right by yours. Great. 386 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,557 Oh. 387 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,351 Uh, you can't really open both at the same time. 388 00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:48,438 Okay. I'll just go after you, then. 389 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:04,203 Look, I just need to get my lunch money from here. 390 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,502 Okay. 391 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,215 What even are those? 392 00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,385 I don't know if it's really your thing. 393 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,059 What's happening with the support staff? 394 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,518 Not getting paid a living wage. 395 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,731 It's been all over the news. 396 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:37,028 Okay. The news is a nonfictional TV show 397 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:40,740 that connects real people to real issues. 398 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,618 - Hmm? - I know what the news is. 399 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,496 Great. She's all yours. 400 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,214 Thank you. 401 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:57,757 Mmm. 402 00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,470 - Hi. Could you help me with something? - Come on, man. 403 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,806 Sorry. I'm just trying to get the lay of the land. 404 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:07,475 Like, what cliques are where, who sits with who. 405 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:09,978 Yeah. I still feel like you're messing with me. 406 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:12,313 What's the, uh, agenda here? 407 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,315 I'm not messing with you. 408 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,985 I just have this whole three-point plan, and the first step is to let-- 409 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,153 Band geeks. 410 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,322 Jocks. 411 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:24,033 D&D nerds. 412 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,493 Stoners. 413 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,538 Kids of parents with Microsoft money. 414 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,124 And kids of parents with Boeing money. 415 00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:42,218 Hi, again. 416 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,511 Which ones are the stoners? 417 00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,849 - Crazy. - No way. 418 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,308 And the Microsoft kids? 419 00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:52,812 Seriously? 420 00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:55,481 Hmm. 421 00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:57,650 Could you just point me in the direction of the senior girls? 422 00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,444 And if one of them could have won 423 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,613 Homecoming Queen or one of the top-tier superlatives, even better. 424 00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:06,325 Oh, okay. So, you're not looking for just any old person. 425 00:22:06,409 --> 00:22:09,662 You want a cool senior who can totally boost your popularity? 426 00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:11,789 Yes, exactly. 427 00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:15,126 You should be friends with that girl over there. 428 00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:17,211 The one with the curly hair. 429 00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:20,298 - Do you want to come with, or--? - Oh, no, I'm good. 430 00:22:28,890 --> 00:22:30,308 Hi, ladies. 431 00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:33,436 I was told this is where the coolest of the cool seniors sit. 432 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:37,273 Well, technically, I'm a junior, but, spiritually, I'm a senior. 433 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,692 Oh. 434 00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:41,277 You're... sitting. 435 00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:45,865 Wait. I thought we were going to the Bikini Kill show that weekend. 436 00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,158 So fun. 437 00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:49,869 You know Bikini Kill? 438 00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:51,829 Oh. 439 00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:53,873 I know bikinis. 440 00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:55,416 That kill. 441 00:23:00,213 --> 00:23:03,299 Okay. Whose car are we taking? Or are we seriously taking a bus to Olympia? 442 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,634 What about Miles's? 443 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,219 We can't take a guy's car to a Bikini Kill show. 444 00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:07,470 I mean, think of how that would look. 445 00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:11,015 Oh, I totally feel your struggle. All of my friends at home have cars. 446 00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:13,351 It's impossible not to have one if you live in L.A. 447 00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:17,146 But instead of getting me a car, my parents moved me to Seattle. Hmm. 448 00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:19,732 L.A. 449 00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:20,942 Yeah, that explains it. 450 00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,652 You must be so happy to have escaped. 451 00:23:24,237 --> 00:23:25,947 What's wrong with L.A.? 452 00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:28,991 Nothing. I-I think we just value different things here, 453 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,286 like the planet and social justice. 454 00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:37,208 And not being totally entitled and sitting wherever we want in the cafeteria 455 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:42,004 on our first day when some of us have spent four years earning this table. 456 00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,053 Have you ever actually been to L.A.? 457 00:23:51,806 --> 00:23:56,853 Uh, no. No, you couldn't pay any of us to set foot in California. 458 00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,565 And this little exchange is not changing my mind. 459 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:03,818 Okay, before L.A. Barbie interrupted us, the jackets. 460 00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:05,027 - Right, the jackets. - Yeah. 461 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,321 You know the ones? 462 00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:19,041 Okay. Yeah. 463 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:22,044 Okay. I'll have him get back to you. 464 00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:23,588 All right, sweetie. Well, good to hear 465 00:24:23,671 --> 00:24:25,381 - she's doing well. Bye. - Hi. 466 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:26,966 Hi. 467 00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:29,468 Love the bobbleheads. Très chic. 468 00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:36,475 Could I see the school nurse? I'm not, um... 469 00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:38,311 - feeling well. - Hang on a second. Caleb. 470 00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:40,188 Cafeteria's that way. 471 00:24:40,271 --> 00:24:42,148 Yeah, I think I'm just gonna skip it today. 472 00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:44,233 Not gonna happen. 473 00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:45,568 Come here. 474 00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:51,115 - I'm serious. - Thank you, Donna. 475 00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:56,621 Why is he skipping lunch? 476 00:24:58,456 --> 00:24:59,916 His parents haven't paid for school lunch, 477 00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:03,336 but the boy's got to eat, and I have petty cash, so... 478 00:25:03,419 --> 00:25:05,296 That's so nice. 479 00:25:05,379 --> 00:25:07,298 No one at my old school would've done that. 480 00:25:08,382 --> 00:25:13,137 Well, the way I see it is that it is my job to look out for all of you. 481 00:25:13,221 --> 00:25:15,389 And if that means 482 00:25:15,473 --> 00:25:19,602 sneaking into the cafeteria to get someone a piece of cake for their birthday, 483 00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:24,482 or signing a permission slip that their parents forgot to sign, 484 00:25:24,565 --> 00:25:27,526 you know, some rules are made to be broken. 485 00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:32,490 Is that a Cosmo? 486 00:25:33,574 --> 00:25:34,867 You can tell by the corner? 487 00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:36,202 Of course. 488 00:25:37,161 --> 00:25:41,374 All right. I know this may not seem like my thing, 489 00:25:41,457 --> 00:25:44,001 but, oh, those little quizzes are so addictive. 490 00:25:44,085 --> 00:25:45,336 I know! 491 00:25:45,419 --> 00:25:49,382 And their horoscopes have been right on several occasions. 492 00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:51,425 - It's kind of my bible. - Oh, my God. Me, too. 493 00:25:51,509 --> 00:25:54,345 I-I just moved here, so I'm waiting for my subscription to get forwarded here. 494 00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:55,513 Mm. 495 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,555 Could I just...? 496 00:25:59,809 --> 00:26:01,811 Thank you. 497 00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:09,860 Hmm. 498 00:26:10,945 --> 00:26:14,407 Hi, Donna. Um, just give me five, 499 00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:17,535 and then I'm gonna make a few phone calls. 500 00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:18,995 Yeah. Absolutely. 501 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,789 Now, there is just one more form I need you to fill out. 502 00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:27,586 We kind of have a "no chitchat" policy here in the office. 503 00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:29,130 I totally understand. 504 00:26:29,964 --> 00:26:32,425 Now, I could call your parents 505 00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:35,678 and tell them you have a 24-hour bug or something. 506 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:38,389 Or you could spend your lunch in here, 507 00:26:38,472 --> 00:26:40,391 doing that very important paperwork, of course. 508 00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:43,311 - Mm-hmm. - And you could give this place a chance. 509 00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:46,230 What kind of chance? 510 00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:49,317 Well, if this was your first day at your old school, 511 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,193 how would you be spending it? 512 00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:55,740 Hmm. 513 00:26:55,823 --> 00:26:59,160 L-E-T-S-G-O, that's the way we spell "Let's go." 514 00:26:59,243 --> 00:27:01,996 Let's go. Hey, hey, let's go. 515 00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:05,750 And I don't know your mascot, so go, team, go. 516 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,089 Thank you. 517 00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:14,091 I mean, wack. 518 00:27:14,175 --> 00:27:15,301 It's fine. You're in. 519 00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:18,179 Oh. Really? 520 00:27:18,262 --> 00:27:21,682 Don't you need to take a few days and put up a list or something? 521 00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:24,310 Nah, you're in. 522 00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:27,480 Great. Thank you so much, ladies. 523 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:29,023 I won't let you down. 524 00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:30,316 Next. 525 00:27:36,238 --> 00:27:37,573 Good luck. 526 00:27:41,410 --> 00:27:45,289 L-E-T-S-G-O, that's the way we spell "Let's go." 527 00:27:45,373 --> 00:27:48,167 Let's go. Hey, hey, let's go. 528 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,377 Great, you're in. 529 00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:50,878 Sweet. 530 00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:57,760 Oh! 531 00:27:57,843 --> 00:27:59,470 - Oh. - Oh. 532 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:01,889 - Sorry. - It's okay. Whew. 533 00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:03,349 Are you okay? 534 00:28:04,934 --> 00:28:08,104 Yeah. I'm great. 535 00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:10,106 - So great. - Okay. 536 00:28:10,773 --> 00:28:12,191 Okay. 537 00:28:21,075 --> 00:28:22,618 Are you sure you're all right? 538 00:28:24,453 --> 00:28:26,080 Does this school not have a football team? 539 00:28:26,163 --> 00:28:30,167 If so, I can't imagine they're very highly motivated since... 540 00:28:30,251 --> 00:28:32,294 Yeah, football's not really a thing here. 541 00:28:32,378 --> 00:28:33,838 So who do they root for? 542 00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:38,467 I think girls here think cheering for boys is lame. 543 00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:44,515 So they just... cheer for themselves? 544 00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:49,353 You got a name? 545 00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:51,480 Elle Woods. 546 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:53,732 Elle... Woods. 547 00:28:53,816 --> 00:28:54,859 Yeah. 548 00:29:04,535 --> 00:29:05,703 - Okay. - Ooh. 549 00:29:05,786 --> 00:29:06,829 Mm-hmm. 550 00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:10,082 I have to say, I love my office. 551 00:29:10,166 --> 00:29:11,792 Aw. 552 00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:14,920 - I knew you would. - Yeah, and the nice thing about 553 00:29:15,004 --> 00:29:18,674 the slower pace is that I-I feel like I can really spend time with my patients, 554 00:29:18,757 --> 00:29:20,426 like I might actually make a difference. 555 00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:21,552 Me, too. 556 00:29:21,635 --> 00:29:23,471 - Yeah? - Can you believe 557 00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:25,973 they didn't have Tae Bo here yet? 558 00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:28,309 - Such an interesting place, Eva. - Yes. 559 00:29:28,976 --> 00:29:30,269 What about you? 560 00:29:30,352 --> 00:29:32,271 - How's the new school? - Yeah, you said 561 00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:33,772 you tried out for cheer. How was it? 562 00:29:35,149 --> 00:29:37,151 I don't think I'm gonna join. 563 00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:40,571 The girls here just kind of cheer for themselves. 564 00:29:41,655 --> 00:29:43,199 - I don't get it. - Hmm. 565 00:29:44,283 --> 00:29:45,951 I think it's feminism. 566 00:29:46,035 --> 00:29:48,621 Yeah, that's very in right now. 567 00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:49,872 Hmm. 568 00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:52,374 It's probably why Marlena came back to life. 569 00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:54,960 Can you believe she's not even possessed anymore? 570 00:29:55,044 --> 00:29:56,128 She did? 571 00:29:58,214 --> 00:30:01,133 Honey. Oh, no. I-I left the tape in your room. 572 00:30:01,217 --> 00:30:02,426 I thought you'd watched it already. 573 00:30:02,510 --> 00:30:04,470 Well, I was saving it for a pre-dinner treat. 574 00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:10,976 I can't believe we moved here. 575 00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:14,939 This will do you no more good than your bothersome prayers 576 00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:19,109 and your irksome holy water. 577 00:30:19,193 --> 00:30:22,321 - Oh, all right, all right, all right! 578 00:30:22,404 --> 00:30:24,823 I'll play your game. 579 00:30:24,907 --> 00:30:26,951 I've been playing right along. 580 00:30:27,034 --> 00:30:29,411 It's not even worth it. 581 00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:32,289 - What should be my next move? 582 00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:40,172 Marlena's possession was all I had. 583 00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:49,390 Hmm. 584 00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:55,771 Elle Woods' residence. You've reached Elle Woods. 585 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,982 Elle! 586 00:30:58,065 --> 00:30:59,650 Madison? 587 00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:01,443 Elle, I just got a car phone. 588 00:31:01,527 --> 00:31:02,820 What? 589 00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:05,573 Madison? I can't hear you. 590 00:31:05,656 --> 00:31:07,992 I got a car phone! 591 00:31:08,075 --> 00:31:10,035 Oh! That's so cool. 592 00:31:10,119 --> 00:31:11,620 I know, right? 593 00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:13,956 - Tiffany and Amber are here, too. - Hi, Elle. 594 00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:15,666 We don't have time for hellos. Sorry, Elle. 595 00:31:15,749 --> 00:31:17,167 I only have two minutes on this thing 596 00:31:17,251 --> 00:31:19,670 before I start getting charged a gazillion dollars and my parents kill me. 597 00:31:19,753 --> 00:31:21,338 - But the headline is... 598 00:31:21,422 --> 00:31:23,716 - school was crazy today. - So crazy. 599 00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:26,552 That-that sounds really fun, you guys. 600 00:31:26,635 --> 00:31:27,803 It was. 601 00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:29,805 - Jeff got a really unfortunate earring. - Oh. 602 00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,056 And Susie got even more 603 00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:33,851 unfortunate highlights, and I think that Chad and Becca are a thing even though 604 00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:35,102 they're still pretending like they're not. 605 00:31:35,185 --> 00:31:36,854 No, it was literally, like, a hall of fame first day. 606 00:31:36,937 --> 00:31:39,148 That's exactly what I was going to say. 607 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,608 - Hall of fame. Yeah. - Right? 608 00:31:40,691 --> 00:31:44,028 Wow. 609 00:31:44,111 --> 00:31:48,157 Um... has Hot Josh asked 610 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,408 about me? 611 00:31:50,534 --> 00:31:53,120 Not so much in his words, but in his actions, 612 00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:55,122 - absolutely. - Mm-hmm. 613 00:31:55,205 --> 00:31:57,207 But enough about us. How was your first day? 614 00:31:57,291 --> 00:31:59,126 Did you make any friends? 615 00:31:59,209 --> 00:32:00,794 Does the school secretary count? 616 00:32:01,879 --> 00:32:04,590 - That's a great jumping-off point. - Mm-hmm. 617 00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:06,592 I just... 618 00:32:06,675 --> 00:32:09,887 I don't feel like I really speak the same language as anyone here. 619 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:11,722 Well, have you tried learning their language? 620 00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:12,973 What do you mean? 621 00:32:13,057 --> 00:32:14,850 - Get fluent in Seattle. - Mm. 622 00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:17,353 I don't know if that's possible. 623 00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:19,313 Oh, I'm sorry, Elle. Two minutes are up. 624 00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:20,731 - We-we miss you. - We love you! 625 00:32:20,814 --> 00:32:22,232 Well, I miss you guys. 626 00:32:24,693 --> 00:32:25,986 Bye. 627 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:33,994 Get fluent in Seattle. 628 00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:42,086 ♪ Live, baby, live ♪ 629 00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:45,005 ♪ now that the day is over ♪ 630 00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:50,678 ♪ I got a new sensation ♪ 631 00:32:52,054 --> 00:32:55,724 ♪ In perfect moments ♪ 632 00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:59,728 ♪ that's impossible to refuse ♪ 633 00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:05,317 ♪ Sleep, baby, sleep ♪ 634 00:33:05,401 --> 00:33:07,403 ♪ now that the night is over ♪ 635 00:33:10,698 --> 00:33:13,033 ♪ And the sun comes like a god ♪ 636 00:33:13,117 --> 00:33:14,952 Hey. 637 00:33:15,035 --> 00:33:17,079 - ♪ into our room ♪ - Hey, girl. 638 00:33:18,831 --> 00:33:23,419 ♪ All perfect light and promises ♪ 639 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:27,506 ♪ got a hold on you ♪ 640 00:33:27,589 --> 00:33:30,551 ♪ A new sensation ♪♪ 641 00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:31,927 Elle, right? 642 00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,387 Yes. Elle Woods. 643 00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:36,557 - And you are Kimberly. - Mm. 644 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,225 From yesterday. 645 00:33:38,308 --> 00:33:40,644 There's a rumor going around that I feel like I should make you aware of. 646 00:33:40,728 --> 00:33:42,312 Out of love. 647 00:33:42,396 --> 00:33:43,939 Oh, my God, what is it? 648 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:47,985 Well, people are saying that you wearing that shirt is the second worst thing 649 00:33:48,068 --> 00:33:50,612 to ever happen to Nirvana. 650 00:33:50,696 --> 00:33:54,074 Wait. I'm sorry. Did you replace the eyes with little hearts? 651 00:33:54,825 --> 00:33:57,244 I leaned into its innate smiley-ness. 652 00:33:58,495 --> 00:34:00,330 Did no one ever tell you that we don't do posers here? 653 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,417 Seattle isn't a costume, 654 00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:06,044 and pink isn't a personality. 655 00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,259 Mom? 656 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,095 Bruiser? 657 00:34:58,096 --> 00:34:59,807 Anyone? 658 00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:18,450 - Hi! You've reached Madison LeDoux's car. 659 00:35:18,534 --> 00:35:20,118 I've run out of minutes for this month, 660 00:35:20,202 --> 00:35:22,621 but leave a message and I'll listen to it in 27 days. 661 00:35:55,946 --> 00:35:57,406 Mom? 662 00:35:57,489 --> 00:35:59,157 In here. 663 00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,417 What is this? 664 00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:12,296 No one could be expected to succeed in that much gray. 665 00:36:17,342 --> 00:36:18,594 Wait. 666 00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:28,562 You hate it? 667 00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:30,105 - No. - W-- I got 668 00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:32,065 the wrong shade? You wanted Spring Watermelon? 669 00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:36,570 What? 670 00:36:37,321 --> 00:36:38,739 I love it. 671 00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,325 Does your face know you love it? 672 00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:43,076 I do. That's the problem. 673 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:44,995 I'm-I'm shallow. 674 00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:48,749 What kind of person has the worst day of her life solved by... 675 00:36:48,832 --> 00:36:50,417 pink drapery? 676 00:36:51,251 --> 00:36:52,628 A nice one. 677 00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:57,549 What if I really am the vapid L.A. girl they all think I am? 678 00:36:57,633 --> 00:36:59,468 Well, I don't know if you should be putting so much stock 679 00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:01,637 in the opinions of people who wear leather jewelry. 680 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:02,804 You don't understand. 681 00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,890 They fight for things like social justice 682 00:37:04,973 --> 00:37:07,267 and hold student auctions 683 00:37:07,351 --> 00:37:09,728 and they write their own... zines. 684 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,148 What's a zine? 685 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,650 Exactly. 686 00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:17,819 You know who you are? 687 00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:20,739 You're a Gemini. 688 00:37:21,782 --> 00:37:23,867 I bet they hate astrology, too. 689 00:37:23,951 --> 00:37:26,954 That means you are funny 690 00:37:27,037 --> 00:37:29,456 and smart and adaptable. 691 00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:31,917 And you find a way to make all types of friends. 692 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,252 You say they have depth? They care? 693 00:37:34,336 --> 00:37:36,254 Well, so do you. 694 00:37:38,173 --> 00:37:39,508 You're right. 695 00:37:40,634 --> 00:37:42,177 I do care. 696 00:37:43,470 --> 00:37:45,347 You just have to show them that. 697 00:37:53,647 --> 00:37:55,399 - Oh, hi, Donna. - Hey. 698 00:37:55,482 --> 00:37:58,485 - Have you seen Dustin? - Uh, yeah, he's right over there. 699 00:37:58,568 --> 00:38:01,154 I want to see if he needs help with his auction. 700 00:38:01,238 --> 00:38:02,572 Does this mean you've made a friend? 701 00:38:02,656 --> 00:38:04,157 Way to fit in. 702 00:38:04,241 --> 00:38:05,575 - Sort of. - All right. 703 00:38:05,659 --> 00:38:06,952 - Go get 'em, tiger. - Thanks, Donna. 704 00:38:08,245 --> 00:38:09,663 Okay then. 705 00:38:09,746 --> 00:38:12,416 If, uh, pasta's not your thing. 706 00:38:12,499 --> 00:38:14,167 Yeah, but what about... 707 00:38:14,251 --> 00:38:15,627 this basketball? 708 00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:19,131 Is there anything special about this basketball? It's-- 709 00:38:19,214 --> 00:38:20,340 Oh, okay, it's just a basketball. 710 00:38:20,424 --> 00:38:22,467 It's just a basketball, but it... 711 00:38:22,551 --> 00:38:24,553 it's a nice basketball. 712 00:38:26,138 --> 00:38:27,347 This is embarrassing. 713 00:38:28,682 --> 00:38:30,934 I guess I will just keep it for myself. 714 00:38:31,018 --> 00:38:32,686 - All right, what's next? - Uh, 715 00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:33,979 a-a vase from my mom. 716 00:38:34,062 --> 00:38:37,149 A... vase from Jake's mum. 717 00:38:37,232 --> 00:38:38,567 Any starting bids? 718 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:41,236 Nah. 719 00:38:42,029 --> 00:38:44,448 I have something I'd like to say. 720 00:38:44,531 --> 00:38:48,243 - This should be good. - This isn't just any vase. 721 00:38:49,870 --> 00:38:51,913 It is a... 722 00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:54,583 multiuse art piece. 723 00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,918 It can hold flowers. 724 00:38:57,002 --> 00:39:00,213 It can serve as an organizer for your school supplies. 725 00:39:00,297 --> 00:39:03,133 Or it can just look nice. 726 00:39:04,426 --> 00:39:05,802 What are you doing? 727 00:39:05,886 --> 00:39:08,305 I am helping the support staff of this school, 728 00:39:08,388 --> 00:39:10,640 who are being vastly underpaid. 729 00:39:10,724 --> 00:39:12,100 Don't you watch the news? 730 00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:14,019 The first rule of fundraising is 731 00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:15,312 you have to be a salesperson. 732 00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:16,396 Watch. 733 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:20,275 This vase is also an investment piece. 734 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:22,152 - Let's say Justin's mom-- - Jacob. 735 00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:26,031 Jacob's mom blows up as an artist in the next few years. 736 00:39:26,114 --> 00:39:28,658 Do you know how much money you could make off of this? 737 00:39:28,742 --> 00:39:31,703 Potentially thousands of dollars. 738 00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:33,371 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 739 00:39:33,455 --> 00:39:34,915 Twenty bucks. 740 00:39:40,087 --> 00:39:42,214 We have 20 bucks. That's a steal. 741 00:39:42,297 --> 00:39:43,465 Twenty-five. 742 00:39:45,342 --> 00:39:47,135 Ooh! Not bad! 743 00:39:47,219 --> 00:39:48,970 But can anyone beat that? 744 00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,430 Thirty. 745 00:39:53,975 --> 00:39:55,393 Going once, 746 00:39:55,477 --> 00:39:56,895 going twice. 747 00:39:56,978 --> 00:39:58,605 Sold to... 748 00:39:58,688 --> 00:39:59,898 Miles. 749 00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:02,317 - Miles. - Yeah! 750 00:40:05,821 --> 00:40:06,988 I got it. 751 00:40:12,327 --> 00:40:13,328 Okay, what's next? 752 00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:14,538 - Here you go. - Oh. 753 00:40:14,621 --> 00:40:15,622 It's, uh... 754 00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:16,873 it's really something. 755 00:40:16,957 --> 00:40:17,999 I have to come clean. 756 00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,794 Jacob's mom's never going to make it in the art world. 757 00:40:20,877 --> 00:40:22,587 I am so sorry. 758 00:40:22,671 --> 00:40:24,548 Well, you could've convinced me. 759 00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:26,842 Actually, you did convince me. That's why I bought it. 760 00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:28,969 Are we doing this? 761 00:40:29,052 --> 00:40:30,262 Yes. 762 00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,513 Thanks again. 763 00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:32,597 What's next? 764 00:40:35,392 --> 00:40:37,477 Ooh, a jersey. 765 00:40:37,561 --> 00:40:39,396 A Ken Griffey Jr. jersey. 766 00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:41,940 A Ken Griffey Jr. jersey. 767 00:40:43,817 --> 00:40:45,652 Let's start the bidding at 20. 768 00:40:48,697 --> 00:40:50,115 How about 15? 769 00:40:54,703 --> 00:40:56,121 Okay, look. 770 00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:58,623 Who cares about Ken Griffey Jr.? 771 00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:04,588 What-what I mean is, we all obviously care about Ken Griffey Jr. 772 00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:09,426 But who we care about more are the people who care about us. 773 00:41:09,509 --> 00:41:11,636 The support staff of the school. 774 00:41:12,429 --> 00:41:13,889 Like Donna. 775 00:41:15,348 --> 00:41:18,185 Donna's let me eat lunch in her office every day since I've been here, 776 00:41:18,268 --> 00:41:19,728 even when she wasn't supposed to. 777 00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:21,605 You guys, 778 00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:24,441 she pays for some students' lunches using petty cash. 779 00:41:25,775 --> 00:41:26,902 Alison, 780 00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:29,196 she's turned a blind eye to your tardies. 781 00:41:29,279 --> 00:41:31,615 She knows it's not your fault when your mom's been late. 782 00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:35,827 And that's not even mentioning the permission slips she's signed, 783 00:41:35,911 --> 00:41:37,621 the unexcused absences she doesn't mark. 784 00:41:37,704 --> 00:41:39,748 And I've only been at this school a couple days. 785 00:41:39,831 --> 00:41:42,626 This is money going directly into Donna's pocket. 786 00:41:42,709 --> 00:41:46,254 And into the pocket of dozens of other Donnas at this school. 787 00:41:47,047 --> 00:41:48,632 So I'll ask you again. 788 00:41:48,715 --> 00:41:53,136 Who wants this Ken Griffey Jr. jersey? 789 00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:54,095 Twenty bucks. 790 00:41:54,179 --> 00:41:55,513 Yay! 791 00:41:55,597 --> 00:41:56,598 Thirty. 792 00:41:59,059 --> 00:42:00,268 Thirty-five! 793 00:42:00,352 --> 00:42:01,394 Okay, Alison! 794 00:42:02,562 --> 00:42:04,272 - Not bad. - Yeah, well, looks like 795 00:42:04,356 --> 00:42:05,899 I'm not as shallow as you thought. 796 00:42:05,982 --> 00:42:07,484 I never said you were shallow. 797 00:42:08,568 --> 00:42:09,736 Out loud. 798 00:42:10,570 --> 00:42:11,571 Going once. 799 00:42:13,031 --> 00:42:14,699 Going twice. 800 00:42:16,076 --> 00:42:18,036 Sold to Alison! 801 00:42:23,124 --> 00:42:25,919 Donna. Donna. Donna. 802 00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:27,837 Donna! Donna! 803 00:42:27,921 --> 00:42:31,633 Donna! Donna! Donna! Donna! 804 00:42:31,716 --> 00:42:34,386 Donna! Donna! Donna! 805 00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:36,179 Donna! Donna! 806 00:42:36,263 --> 00:42:38,807 Donna! Donna! Donna! 807 00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:40,600 Donna! Donna! 808 00:42:40,684 --> 00:42:42,686 - Donna! 809 00:42:50,193 --> 00:42:51,778 Oh. Donna! 810 00:42:51,861 --> 00:42:53,113 - Take care, girls. - Bye, Donna. 811 00:43:02,289 --> 00:43:03,707 Hey, 90210. 812 00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:05,250 Get anyone fired lately? 813 00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:06,835 What? 814 00:43:06,918 --> 00:43:08,295 Oh, you didn't hear? 815 00:43:08,378 --> 00:43:10,672 Your little stunt yesterday got Donna fired. 816 00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:13,300 Turns out, when you announce 817 00:43:13,383 --> 00:43:16,720 every single rule someone's broken to the entire school, 818 00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:18,680 they get punished for it. 819 00:43:18,763 --> 00:43:19,764 Who knew? 820 00:43:19,848 --> 00:43:22,309 Oh, well, maybe except everyone. 821 00:43:22,392 --> 00:43:23,727 That's n... 822 00:43:23,810 --> 00:43:25,812 I was just trying to help. 823 00:43:25,895 --> 00:43:26,896 Oh, yeah? 824 00:43:26,980 --> 00:43:28,273 How'd that go? 825 00:43:32,152 --> 00:43:34,654 ♪ But I'm a creep ♪ 826 00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:41,161 ♪ I'm a weirdo ♪ 827 00:43:42,162 --> 00:43:45,582 ♪ What the hell am I doing here? ♪♪ 828 00:43:48,418 --> 00:43:50,670 Okay, I can do this. 829 00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:54,257 Everything just feels backwards here. 830 00:43:54,341 --> 00:43:55,925 This doesn't seem sanitary. 831 00:43:56,009 --> 00:43:57,344 Happy Monday, Pink Slip. 832 00:43:57,427 --> 00:43:58,762 Oh, this isn't a slip. 833 00:43:58,845 --> 00:44:01,389 It's more of an alpaca tweed. 834 00:44:01,473 --> 00:44:02,390 I assume you're mad at me, too. 835 00:44:02,474 --> 00:44:04,017 I actually didn't even notice you. 836 00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:05,560 Which, I don't know, is that worse? 837 00:44:06,895 --> 00:44:08,563 High school is hard for everyone, 838 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:09,773 no matter where you live. 839 00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:11,858 Kimberly's obviously relishing 840 00:44:11,941 --> 00:44:12,817 my fall from grace. 841 00:44:12,901 --> 00:44:16,237 I think you're overestimating how much people liked you before this. 842 00:44:16,321 --> 00:44:18,323 But you are going to win over 843 00:44:18,406 --> 00:44:20,909 this entire city before you know it. 844 00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:25,372 - You could be concussed. - I'm fine. 845 00:44:25,455 --> 00:44:27,582 On the drive over here, you claimed your favorite color was charcoal. 846 00:44:28,541 --> 00:44:29,542 I did not say that. 847 00:44:29,626 --> 00:44:31,753 Just testing your short-term memory. You passed. 848 00:44:31,836 --> 00:44:33,463 I kind of like someone here 849 00:44:33,546 --> 00:44:35,340 who I really can't like. 850 00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:36,758 Is it unrequited? 851 00:44:37,926 --> 00:44:39,344 How could it be unrequited? You're Elle Woods. 852 00:44:39,427 --> 00:44:41,096 I'm sorry I said that. 853 00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:44,265 I don't know why you won't give that girl 854 00:44:44,349 --> 00:44:45,517 a chance. 855 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,310 And maybe there are other sides to me. 856 00:44:47,394 --> 00:44:48,645 Maybe I'm not the rule-abiding 857 00:44:48,728 --> 00:44:49,896 Gemini I always thought. 858 00:44:49,979 --> 00:44:52,315 When did detention get so uncool? 859 00:44:53,483 --> 00:44:54,442 I have this petition. 860 00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:55,860 It's for the greater good. 861 00:44:56,361 --> 00:44:57,487 Why won't you fight this with me? 862 00:44:57,570 --> 00:44:59,656 Because neither of us have a law degree. 863 00:44:59,739 --> 00:45:01,491 I have a Jackie O suit skirt 864 00:45:01,574 --> 00:45:02,784 I have been dying to mobilize. 865 00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:03,910 God, I miss L.A. 866 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:05,662 At least there we could keep Elle safe 867 00:45:05,745 --> 00:45:07,038 from the criminal element. 868 00:45:07,122 --> 00:45:08,998 She trick-or-treated at the Menendez house. 869 00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:11,709 I feel like I don't even know you. 870 00:45:11,793 --> 00:45:13,962 When you're ready to be Elle Woods again, give me a call. 871 00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,507 I think you got to ask yourself who you'd rather disappoint, 872 00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:19,342 your mom or yourself. 873 00:45:19,426 --> 00:45:20,718 Officer, can we arrest her? 874 00:45:20,802 --> 00:45:22,220 Absolutely not. 875 00:45:22,303 --> 00:45:23,304 She's in Chanel. 876 00:45:23,388 --> 00:45:25,807 E-L-L-E! 877 00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:27,892 - That's how we spell "victory"! 878 00:45:28,601 --> 00:45:29,853 Yes. 879 00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:36,484 ♪ But I'm a creep ♪ 880 00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:44,492 ♪ I'm a weirdo ♪ 881 00:45:45,535 --> 00:45:49,247 ♪ What the hell am I doing here? ♪ 882 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,002 ♪ I don't belong here ♪ 883 00:45:54,836 --> 00:45:56,963 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 884 00:45:57,046 --> 00:46:01,968 ♪ She's running out ♪ 885 00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:06,014 ♪ the door ♪ 886 00:46:08,057 --> 00:46:12,979 ♪ She's running out ♪ 887 00:46:13,062 --> 00:46:16,983 ♪ She run, run, run ♪ 888 00:46:17,066 --> 00:46:23,990 ♪ run... ♪♪