1 00:00:00,084 --> 00:00:04,463 Let's give it up one more time for the birthday girl Elle Woods! 2 00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:06,340 Previously on Elle... 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,761 We have something important we want to talk to you about. 4 00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:11,846 Elle, we're moving to Seattle. 5 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:16,350 I know it's scary, but this is just gonna be 6 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:18,728 our new home for a little while. 7 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:22,398 I'm Elle. 8 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:23,691 Did someone put you up to this? 9 00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,237 Oh! 10 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,530 - Oh. - Oh. 11 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,698 Sorry. Are you okay? 12 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:32,283 Yeah. 13 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,784 Seattle isn't a costume, 14 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,995 and pink isn't a personality. 15 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:36,954 Did you make any friends? 16 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,789 Does the school secretary count? 17 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,124 It's a great jumping-off point. 18 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,252 I don't feel like I really speak the same language as anyone here. 19 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,462 Get fluent in Seattle. 20 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,756 This is money going directly 21 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:51,343 into Donna's pocket and into the pocket of dozens of other Donnas at this school. 22 00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,678 Thirty. 23 00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:54,513 Donna! Donna! 24 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:56,390 - Donna! - Oh, you didn't hear? 25 00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:58,476 Your little stunt yesterday got Donna fired. 26 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,904 ♪ Whoa, here we go ♪ 27 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:17,036 ♪ Shiny, happy people holding hands ♪ 28 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:20,206 - ♪ Shiny, happy people ♪ - Hi, Elle. 29 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:21,540 ♪ holding hands ♪ 30 00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:22,958 ♪ Shiny, happy... 31 00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:24,752 Oh, I love your boots, Elle. 32 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,128 Thanks. They're waterproof. 33 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,214 Not that we have to worry about that here. 34 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,050 Oh, my God, Elle. 35 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,219 You look so tan. 36 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,221 It is L.A. after all. 37 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,515 Hi, Elle! 38 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,644 Hot Josh. 39 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,604 You're looking very... 40 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,688 Hot? 41 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:45,773 Precisely. 42 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,274 There she is. 43 00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:51,070 Oh, Elle, you make high school look so easy. 44 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,242 Elle Woods! 45 00:01:56,325 --> 00:02:00,412 ♪ Shiny, happy people holding hands ♪♪ 46 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,167 Donna? 47 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,754 What are you doing in Bel Air? 48 00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:13,384 Oh. 49 00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:15,928 Seattle? 50 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,936 I wish we could wake up from this nightmare, Bruiser. 51 00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:26,939 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 52 00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:32,653 ♪ I'm only happy when it's complicated ♪ 53 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,655 {\an8}♪ And though I know you can't ♪ 54 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,657 ♪ appreciate it ♪ 55 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:40,077 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 56 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,705 ♪ Pour your ♪ 57 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,707 {\an8}- ♪ misery down ♪ ♪ Pour your misery ♪ 58 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:48,711 {\an8}- ♪ Pour your misery down on me ♪ ♪ down, pour your misery ♪ 59 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:52,715 - ♪ Pour your misery down ♪ - ♪ down, pour ♪ 60 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:56,719 {\an8}♪ You can keep me company as long as ♪ 61 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,762 ♪ you don't care ♪ 62 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:04,101 {\an8}♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 63 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:08,063 {\an8}♪ You wanna hear about my new obsession? ♪ 64 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,065 {\an8}♪ I'm riding high upon ♪ 65 00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:12,526 ♪ a deep depression ♪ 66 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,987 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 67 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:18,574 ♪ Pour some misery down on me ♪ 68 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,993 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 69 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:24,038 ♪ Pour some misery down on me ♪♪ 70 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,706 Don't you... 71 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:26,832 No. No, no, no, no, 72 00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:28,876 - no, no, no, no, no, no. - Wait, baby, wait! 73 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,753 And that would be the third chair this week. - 74 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:32,296 I'll have to toss it with the others. 75 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,048 I'm sorry, we're throwing out our furniture? 76 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:36,133 Our furniture that we rented? 77 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,135 Honey, you're, you're shaming him. 78 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:42,514 If anything, Bruiser's given us a perfect excuse to redecorate. 79 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,351 Didn't he, Daddy? 80 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,728 Grandfather? Where did we land with that? 81 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:50,981 - I-I'm not sure. But thanks, buddy. - Aw. 82 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:54,109 If our little baby won't tinkle outside in Seattle, 83 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:57,863 I'll just have to bring L.A. to him like I did for Mama Elle's room. 84 00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:00,699 I'm thinking real grass, 85 00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:02,701 doggy pool, heat lamp. 86 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,287 I think they sell soil at the farmers market co-op. 87 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:06,747 How many of those words are made-up? 88 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,166 A co-op. It's like a Bristol Farms under a tent. 89 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,335 Dad, you're home. 90 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,880 People in Seattle don't want nose jobs? 91 00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:17,466 Turns out, people in Seattle like all kinds of noses. 92 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,134 Even their own. 93 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:20,719 - Wow. - Things'll pick up 94 00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:22,680 once grunge runs its course. 95 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,182 You sleep okay, sweetie? 96 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,226 You have a slight case of the Birkins. 97 00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:31,480 Are you still upset about that secretary getting let go? 98 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,982 Of course. It's awful. 99 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:35,401 Donna was such a kind person. She didn't deserve this. 100 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:40,114 Well, wasn't she caught embezzling funds and forging documents? 101 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,116 I mean, Al Capone was arrested for less. 102 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,784 But her heart was in the right place. 103 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,369 The court of public opinion wanted to hang 104 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,538 your old man not too long ago. 105 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,581 If you want to throw her a bone, I'd be happy to put a call in 106 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,125 - to our crisis manager. - The one 107 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,836 that convinced you to move to the city God and Gucci forgot? 108 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,190 Yeah. Yeah, we'll be there. 109 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,445 Good morning, Kimberly. 110 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:20,821 Happy Monday, Pink Slip. 111 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,322 Oh, this isn't a slip. 112 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,907 It's more of an alpaca tweed. 113 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:24,992 She doesn't get it. 114 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,452 Of course she doesn't. 115 00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:28,662 Anyway, 116 00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,998 per Donna's unjust termination, 117 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:34,543 I thought maybe we could rally the student body and do something nice in her honor. 118 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:37,838 For example, when the Oscars snubbed Anjelica Huston 119 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,214 for The Addams Family Values, 120 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,675 my friends and I collected money for a chimp sanctuary. 121 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:43,969 I don't think she's kidding. 122 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,223 Elle, I'm sure Anjelica Huston loved knowing 123 00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:51,268 that you and your friends found a way to make her awards season all about you. 124 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,395 - Oh. - But wouldn't the best way 125 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:56,940 to honor Donna have been not getting her fired in the first place? 126 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,234 Basically, no one wants to be seen 127 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:01,403 - with you. - Yeah, she gets it, Katie. 128 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:04,198 Anyway, I'm gonna go honor Donna by being really bummed, 129 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:08,535 and you can go do whatever you need to do to make this all about you. 130 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,260 Elle? I just got your emergency page. 131 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,845 One-eight-seven? 132 00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:29,598 Does that mean bad haircut, or are you being held at gunpoint? 133 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,810 I don't make everything about me, do I? 134 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,686 Of course not. 135 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,980 You're notoriously bad at accepting a compliment. 136 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,441 It's one of your most endearing qualities. 137 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:40,609 Stop. 138 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,027 Wait, 139 00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:43,403 why aren't you at school? 140 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,364 Oh, there was an earthquake this morning. 141 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,949 Oh, my God. You should've 187'd me. 142 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,033 It wasn't bad. 143 00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:50,661 It just... It messed with our collective chi. 144 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,455 I miss earthquakes. 145 00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,541 My dad's new girlfriend is using it as an excuse 146 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,292 to have me chauffeur her around all day. 147 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:58,836 So now I'm waiting 148 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,088 outside the Polo Lounge like some kind of... 149 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,091 Pause. 150 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,676 I just found a way to get you home. 151 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:10,139 Cosmo's doing a semester-long internship in L.A. 152 00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:11,348 Oh, my God. 153 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,016 My parents would have to let me move back for something like that. 154 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,351 - I'd be a shoo-in 155 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,270 - at CULA. - You could live 156 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:17,354 in our pool house. 157 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,232 You know that singer that my dad thinks is gonna be the next big thing? 158 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,151 She just moved out. Christina... 159 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:23,819 Aguachile or something. 160 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:24,903 Okay. Tell me 161 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,488 how to win immediately. 162 00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:28,448 Okay, I think you just need to choose from a few 163 00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,742 of these essay prompts. Um... 164 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,870 Mm. Oh. Here. 165 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:36,165 "Cosmo girls get knocked down, but they get up again. 166 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:37,791 When things get bad, 167 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,376 how would you stage your comeback?" 168 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,005 How do you stage a comeback? 169 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,089 I think 170 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,674 you just have kids or go on SNL. 171 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:49,094 But I'm a virgin, and I can't wait until Saturday. 172 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,472 I could write about Donna's comeback. 173 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:53,932 I can help her get rehired. 174 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,893 She really deserves a second chance here. 175 00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,479 Wait, but isn't that kind of hard? 176 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,190 You're Elle Woods. 177 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:04,568 I've seen you open six cans of Fanta without breaking one acrylic nail. 178 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,737 I did do that. 179 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:10,490 Okay, I can do this. 180 00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:13,285 I'll get Donna her job back, crush this essay, 181 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,287 and put Seattle in my rearview. 182 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,080 Let's get you home, Elle. 183 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,373 No. 184 00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,292 I miss CarpetMart being uncool. 185 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,920 Once Layne Staley rolled through, it was game over. 186 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,880 I'm sorry, Liz. 187 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,299 If I hear of anybody selling tickets, I'll let you know. 188 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,347 I'd ask you what CarpetMart is, but I assume you're mad at me, too. 189 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,015 I actually didn't even notice you. 190 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,267 Which, I don't know, is that worse? 191 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,603 Under normal circumstances, yes. 192 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,898 But with everyone hating me 'cause of the whole Donna thing, 193 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,691 invisibility is a welcome change. 194 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,610 The Donna "thing"? 195 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,195 Getting her fired. 196 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,363 But worry not. 197 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,990 This is just the origin story of Donna's epic comeback. 198 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,576 I have ideas to get Donna rehired. 199 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,912 Not number three. She hates bowling. 200 00:08:56,995 --> 00:09:00,415 Weird that she hates fun for the whole family, but good to know. 201 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,919 And who is Judge Judy Sheindlin? 202 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:08,006 Only the most brilliant family court judge in Manhattan. 203 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,300 She just needs a better platform to showcase her talents. 204 00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,262 But you're right. 205 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,097 She's probably busy. 206 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,433 Okay. People, today 207 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:21,645 we are talking mice and we're talking men. 208 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,021 We are talking... 209 00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:26,108 ...Of Mice and Men. 210 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,235 The book is boring. Can we read something more... 211 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,112 not boring? 212 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,571 Well, this... 213 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:35,033 "boring" book was deemed a critical part of your junior year curriculum 214 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,327 by the Washington State Board of Education. 215 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,122 So if you really have an issue with it, 216 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,457 I don't know, start a petition or something. 217 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,210 That's perfect. 218 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:46,295 Mr. Nichols. 219 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,923 You're brilliant. 220 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,591 Thank you. 221 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,136 Okay. 222 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,387 Of Mice and Men. 223 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,973 Yet another example of why California sucks. 224 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,435 You're supposed to be learning things here. 225 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:02,936 When did you have time to do this? 226 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,604 Well, technically I didn't do it. 227 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,149 I gave one of the cheerleaders all my liquid black eyeliner 228 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,276 to collect signatures from our classmates because I needed 229 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,361 a proxy as a result of no one liking me here. 230 00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:14,948 Okay. And you think a few signatures are gonna get Donna her job back? 231 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:18,952 These 117 signatures embody our unified voice, 232 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,956 a testament to our unwavering resolve that injustice will not be tolerated. 233 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,126 Sure... Donna broke a few rules. 234 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:28,295 But it was all in the interest of helping people. 235 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,880 She was caught stealing money. 236 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,549 Well, she bought a starving kid lunch with petty cash. 237 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,509 Caleb i-is not starving. 238 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,762 His parents are going through a divorce, 239 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:40,432 and sometimes things like lunch money get lost in the shuffle. 240 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,059 Well, thank goodness for Donna, then. 241 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:47,522 You recognize I'm an adult, right? 242 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,441 Did your last school have any sense of authority? 243 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,860 All sparkly clean. 244 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,320 I left your car in your spot. 245 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,615 And the detailing guy found this jacket under your passenger seat. 246 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:59,659 Ah. Uh, thank you, Ms. Martindale. 247 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:05,165 Principal Anderson, while I do love a bold citrus, 248 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:09,169 I'm not sure orange suede maximizes the potential of your complexion. 249 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,212 It's my wife's. 250 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:14,257 Oh. You mean that stone-cold fox pretending to like sports? 251 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,468 Not pretending. Born and raised Mariners junkie. 252 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,221 And flattery is not gonna get Donna her job back. Get to class. 253 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,680 Well, Principal Anderson, 254 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,516 Donna deserves a second chance here. 255 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,309 Even if I agreed with you, it's too late. 256 00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:26,645 She's working at Pike Place Market now. 257 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,189 Donna already found a new job? 258 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,108 She's not coming back, Elle. 259 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,110 Get to class. 260 00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:52,963 Half-off special for shellfish at the fish counter. 261 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,172 Order! Salmon! 262 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,257 Hey-ya! 263 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,387 Hey-ya! 264 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,805 Whoo! 265 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,306 Donna? 266 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,476 I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to 267 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,813 and that you have easy access to a boning knife, 268 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,773 but I'm really, really sorry you got fired. 269 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,192 Aw. 270 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:17,279 Thanks, Elle, but there is nothing to be sorry about. 271 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,281 Do I wish you hadn't shared 272 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,576 my tricks of the trade with the entire student body? Yes. 273 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,662 But they are my tricks, and I got to own 'em. 274 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,664 This is exactly why I started a petition 275 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,749 in your honor arguing you were a victim 276 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,042 of injustice and deserve your job back. 277 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,043 You started a petition? 278 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,921 Mm-hmm. 117 signatures strong. 279 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,340 But Principal Anderson was aggressively unmoved. 280 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,550 He's such a stickler. 281 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,803 Elle, you shouldn't be trying to fix this with him. 282 00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:43,013 You're right. 283 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,849 We need to go higher, like the school superintendent. 284 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:49,352 I have a Jackie O suit skirt I have been dying to mobilize. 285 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:53,190 No. Elle, stop trying to help me with anybody. 286 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,610 You don't want to keep working here, do you? 287 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,028 Of course not. 288 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,197 I hate this place. 289 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,616 A raccoon followed me home last night. 290 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,327 But I will be fine. 291 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,370 And you got enough going on without worrying about me, 292 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,997 so take care of yourself. 293 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:10,957 Like, seriously. 294 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:13,001 - Now. Duck. Duck! - Order! Salmon! 295 00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:40,987 Woods comma Elle? 296 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,907 Hi, I'm Shannon Walker. 297 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:44,991 Chair of the social committee. 298 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:48,078 Well, the only member of the social committee. 299 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,579 Are you okay? 300 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:52,666 Sorry. I forgot what it was like to receive eye contact. 301 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,544 Well, I'm here to officially welcome you to Rainier West High 302 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,878 with this gift basket. 303 00:13:56,962 --> 00:14:00,340 I would have given it to you last week, but I was in the city visiting FIT. 304 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:03,093 As in the Fashion Institute of Technology? 305 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,178 Finally someone's heard of it. 306 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,683 I love Seattle, but our style's kind of... lacking. 307 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,519 Uh, anyway, I'm applying for early admission. 308 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,104 Being a senior is so stressful. 309 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:16,731 Are you real? 310 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,483 You'll find 311 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,193 some super cute spirit wear, 312 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:21,403 some local beans, 313 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,238 and a book from a Seattle-based author. 314 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:26,324 I didn't even know this school had spirit to wear. 315 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,285 I couldn't have curated this better myself. 316 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,954 Full disclosure: the Seattle-based author is my mom. 317 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,080 Zero presh to read. 318 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,374 - Anyway, well-- - I got Donna fired. 319 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,419 Oh, my God. I don't know why I said that. 320 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,879 I, I think I'm coming down with a case of the Marlenas. 321 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,673 I love Days, too! 322 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,508 Oh, my God, twinsies. 323 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:47,053 But you should have all the facts about me before you decide how you feel. 324 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,514 I've actually already heard. 325 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,099 Donna was the best, but I don't blame you. 326 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,727 - You don't? - No. I'm a feminist, 327 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:56,354 which means I support women's rights and women's wrongs. 328 00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:00,442 Oh. Anyway, got to head. 329 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,943 But the sun's never gone, Elle. 330 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,570 She's just pumping herself up behind a cloud. 331 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:05,947 Byes. 332 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:07,907 Byes. 333 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,291 Hey. Let me help you with that. 334 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,375 Miles. Hi. 335 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:18,668 - Hey. - Thanks. 336 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,337 Yeah. 337 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,130 So you don't hate me either? 338 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,633 Should I hate you? 339 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:26,259 Preferably not. 340 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:30,096 Okay, settled. I will continue not hating you. 341 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,309 Thank you. 342 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,518 Next. 343 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,937 Uh, the vegetarian option, please. 344 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,442 Right. 345 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,403 I know what you're thinking. 346 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,614 Of course the L.A. girl's a vegetarian. 347 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:51,201 But factory farming's a major contributor to global warming. 348 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,952 Plus baby cows are really cute. 349 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,579 Agreed. 350 00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:58,166 Uh, unfortunately, my cross-country coach does not. 351 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,711 My last school didn't have a cross-country team, 352 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,088 I don't think. 353 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,006 Is that the one where you ski 354 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,299 and then shoot a gun? 355 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,093 Uh... 356 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,969 it-it's running. 357 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,054 You just run. 358 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,557 Well, I don't run, but I do walk with conviction. 359 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,059 Huh. 360 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,606 What? 361 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:24,067 Uh, nothing. 362 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,402 Uh... 363 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,571 Hey, are you going to CarpetMart on Saturday? 364 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,156 Okay, what is CarpetMart? 365 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,034 It's not actually about carpet. 366 00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,786 Uh, I mean, it is, but it's not. 367 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,498 Okay, that-that really clears things up. 368 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,624 Yo, Miles. 369 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:40,625 Over here. 370 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:42,585 Uh... 371 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,754 Anyway, you were saying about Saturday 372 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,798 and inquiring about my potential availability? 373 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,508 I'm sorry. I... 374 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,592 I got to run. 375 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,845 Uh... do it with conviction. 376 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,514 Enjoy your bun. 377 00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:55,724 I will. 378 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,491 Shannon. 379 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,453 And Kimberly. 380 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,706 Hey, guys. 381 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:37,098 Why, yes, you are more than welcome to sit here. 382 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:38,850 - Thanks for asking. - I don't understand. 383 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,269 Did I misread Shannon Walker's celestial aura? 384 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,688 I didn't get a gift basket when I started here. 385 00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,231 She's kind, nonjudgmental, 386 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,733 fashion-forward. 387 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,068 She's everything I thought was missing from this high school. 388 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,613 Thanks? 389 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,407 How could she be friends with someone like Kimberly? 390 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,369 Who is obviously relishing my fall from grace. 391 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:02,040 I think you're overestimating how much people liked you before this. 392 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:06,377 Besides, Kimberly's not mean around Shannon. 393 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,171 She's the Picasso of being two-faced. 394 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,966 She's also Shannon's guard dog, so good luck getting past her. 395 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,681 See, now you're just staring. 396 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,142 Give me my book back. 397 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,065 Hmm. 398 00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,817 You got this. 399 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,985 Yes. Just look right there. 400 00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:33,905 Right there. Two steps over. 401 00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:38,618 I don't get it. He just stands there. 402 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,537 Come on, Bruiser. 403 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,789 Glam-ma modeled this after the Beverly Wilshire. 404 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,542 It's like you're in Pretty Woman. 405 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,960 Except you kiss on the lips. 406 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:50,755 Oh. 407 00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:54,092 The upstairs guest room with the warmer daylight. 408 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,426 Thank you. 409 00:18:56,052 --> 00:19:00,473 Wait, are you refurnishing the entire house? 410 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:04,561 Well, at first I resisted because it felt so permanent. 411 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,063 But isn't it already feeling more us? 412 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,440 And get this. 413 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,402 As I was power walking, I spotted a fabulous gay couple 414 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:15,780 driving a Corvette and a woman walking a border collie. 415 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,866 - And you know what that means. - What? 416 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,910 Our neighborhood is the perfect combination 417 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,371 of socially liberal and fiscally conservative. 418 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,582 So we basically moved to cloudy Brentwood. 419 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,000 Yeah. 420 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,253 I'm thinking of hosting a little housewarming party 421 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,796 to get to know the community. 422 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,007 Speaking of community-building, 423 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:37,677 my classmate's mom wrote a book and she's having an event tonight. 424 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,554 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 425 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:42,015 Shannon's the first person I've connected with here. 426 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,517 She basically radiates positivity. 427 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,562 And you've always told me optimism, 428 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,063 like bone structure, 429 00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,356 - is genetic. - Is genetic. 430 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,483 - We should go. - Oh. 431 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,194 I don't know, Elle. 432 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:58,406 I don't love the color story of that book cover. 433 00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,034 But... 434 00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,995 you know who likes to go to book readings? 435 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,039 People who can't afford TVs? 436 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:09,417 People who like being invited... to housewarmings. 437 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,337 "And then it hit me. 438 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,923 I couldn't run from my past. 439 00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:16,007 Instead, 440 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,968 like the mountains before me, I had to traverse it. 441 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,720 Because sometimes the route to the top 442 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,847 isn't the most direct. 443 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,558 It zigs and it zags, 444 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:28,102 but the struggle made me who I am." 445 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,147 Thank you. 446 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:36,861 She has such a way with words. 447 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,363 Very evocative. 448 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,157 I felt like I was being wrongfully evicted 449 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,117 - right alongside her. - Yes. 450 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:45,453 Wow. Let's go get our copies. 451 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,832 So nice to meet you, Sierra. 452 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,250 You, too. 453 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,127 And there's bubbles? 454 00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:55,755 Elle, we should really have books read to us more often. 455 00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,548 - I know. - Elle. 456 00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:58,675 - Shannon. Hi. - Come here. 457 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,218 Hi. Oh. 458 00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:01,970 That was amazing. 459 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:05,139 Your mom rocks. And climbs them, too, apparently. 460 00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,557 I can't believe you came. 461 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:09,185 Nobody at school ever comes to these kinds of things. 462 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,813 I mean, it's a book reading, not CarpetMart, but still. 463 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,815 Are you going tomorrow? 464 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,191 Totally. 465 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,985 I definitely know what that is. 466 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,320 I love carpet. 467 00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,698 I always thought rugs were phoning it in. 468 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,408 Elle, you're so funny. 469 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:24,867 - And so stylish. - Aw. 470 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:25,910 I wouldn't wear 471 00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:26,995 those cute suede boots outside, though. 472 00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,204 Oh, these are Ultrasuede. 473 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,541 Faux suede that is animal- and cruelty-free. And waterproof. 474 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,126 Oh, thank God. Because Seattle women don't wear suede. 475 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,044 Everyone knows you can't wear soft leather 476 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:37,505 in a city that rains 160 days a year. 477 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:40,800 Even I know that. I'm not even from... Seattle. 478 00:21:42,385 --> 00:21:44,637 Principal Anderson's having an affair. 479 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,681 This way, this way. 480 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:50,351 Oh, my God. Ew. How do you know this? 481 00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:52,979 So, yesterday I was in his office and I commented on 482 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,773 an orange suede jacket he claimed was his wife's. 483 00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:59,444 And I thought, "That's a bad color match for a redhead, but who am I to judge?" 484 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,988 And then he said she had gone to every Mariners game 485 00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:05,450 since she was a toddler, which means she was born and raised in Seattle, and... 486 00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:07,201 - Seattle women don't wear suede. - Seattle women don't wear suede. 487 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:08,870 The jacket must belong to some other woman. 488 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,329 - Why else would he lie? - Mm-hmm. Exactly. 489 00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:11,497 Oh, this is perfect. 490 00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:14,500 I can use this as leverage to get Donna out of that job that she hates. 491 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,419 Oh, my God, I love the way you talk. 492 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:17,503 You have to let me help. 493 00:22:17,587 --> 00:22:19,464 Seriously? It won't be easy, though. 494 00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,090 To be honest... 495 00:22:21,174 --> 00:22:24,052 I've never used the word "leverage" before in my life. 496 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:26,429 Marlena and John went up against a literal demon. 497 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:28,139 How hard could it be to get Donna's job back? 498 00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:29,265 True. Ah, you're so smart. 499 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,519 "Live, laugh, love." 500 00:22:33,603 --> 00:22:35,897 Oh. That's profound. 501 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:39,025 - Thank you. - And speaking of profound, 502 00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:41,110 this is my Elle. 503 00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:42,570 Oh. 504 00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:43,654 - Hi. - It is so nice 505 00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:44,989 of you both to come. 506 00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:46,491 L.A. women are so friendly. 507 00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:49,452 You and Shannon must come over for drinks sometime. 508 00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,746 I make a killer cocktail. And mocktail. 509 00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:52,914 Oh, it's true. 510 00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:55,875 Her Heavy Petting on the Beach is to die for. 511 00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:57,376 We would love that. 512 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,003 Oh, mind if we head out? 513 00:22:59,087 --> 00:23:01,422 I need your advice on how to handle a juicy piece of intel. 514 00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:02,465 Sure, 515 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,009 I just wanted to tell Robin, 516 00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:07,261 your book reminded me so much 517 00:23:07,345 --> 00:23:09,013 of my husband's botched nose job. 518 00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:12,517 My book on systemic discrimination? 519 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,893 I'm sure you read about it. 520 00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:15,853 The coverage was awful. The Post headline 521 00:23:15,937 --> 00:23:18,397 was clever, but the article itself 522 00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:21,192 lacked all journalistic integrity. 523 00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:22,777 Anyway, there we were, 524 00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:25,321 at rock bottom, faced with a choice. 525 00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:27,824 We could crawl into a hole and die, 526 00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,158 or... 527 00:23:29,242 --> 00:23:30,785 we could zig and zag 528 00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:33,329 our way to a new city 529 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:36,207 with a fresh start, and here we are. 530 00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,252 Surviving. 531 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,964 That sounds harrowing. 532 00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:45,007 Robin, it was. 533 00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,969 Hmm. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the book, Eva. 534 00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:49,303 I loved it. 535 00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:53,432 Mom, there's-there's a line forming behind us. 536 00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:54,725 Thanks. 537 00:23:54,809 --> 00:23:56,310 - Bye, ladies. - Bye. 538 00:23:56,394 --> 00:23:57,770 - Bye. - Byes. 539 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:09,615 Hey. 540 00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,492 I want to suffocate myself. 541 00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:13,578 Oh. I mean, the book was rough, 542 00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:15,955 but that last third was so uplifting. 543 00:24:18,332 --> 00:24:21,878 Mom compared your botched surgery to Robin getting kicked out of her house. 544 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,212 Ah. 545 00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:27,133 Well, in her defense, I don't think your mom's known 546 00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:30,303 many activists turned adventurers turned spoken-word artists. 547 00:24:30,386 --> 00:24:33,347 Wow. You really did read the book. 548 00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:35,266 Again, a lot of free time here. 549 00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:38,227 I love Mom, but I wish I brought you instead. 550 00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,440 So embarrassing. 551 00:24:42,523 --> 00:24:44,442 I mean, everyone already thinks 552 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,819 I'm the self-centered L.A. girl, and now 553 00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:49,363 the one person who was open to getting to know me thinks it, too. 554 00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:52,533 Well, it's not the first time your mom's over-involved herself. 555 00:24:53,743 --> 00:24:55,745 I think she's just looking to connect with people. 556 00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:57,246 Yeah, well, it's hereditary. 557 00:24:57,330 --> 00:24:59,123 And not in the "good cheekbones" way. 558 00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:02,752 If I hadn't over-involved myself 559 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:06,172 by trying to connect with people in that school auction, 560 00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:08,049 I wouldn't be in this situation. 561 00:25:08,132 --> 00:25:10,301 Perhaps, but maybe there's some good news for you 562 00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:12,803 about this terrible hereditary condition. 563 00:25:12,887 --> 00:25:13,804 Doubtful. 564 00:25:13,888 --> 00:25:16,349 Your mom never stays down for long, 565 00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:19,602 and she has more friends than anyone I've ever met. 566 00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:21,646 And so do you. 567 00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:22,939 Yeah. 568 00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:28,903 Actually, I need your help with something. 569 00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:56,138 Hi. 570 00:25:56,222 --> 00:25:57,807 Okay, are you stalking me? 571 00:25:57,890 --> 00:25:59,100 'Cause this is starting to feel like stalking. 572 00:25:59,183 --> 00:26:01,018 You don't exactly make it hard to find you 573 00:26:01,102 --> 00:26:04,355 when the only clothing you own is Bad Vibrations paraphernalia. 574 00:26:04,438 --> 00:26:07,316 That's called victim-blaming, and it's not the only clothing I own. 575 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,318 ♪ Voyeurism is the game ♪ 576 00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:10,319 ♪ Stereoscopic... 577 00:26:10,403 --> 00:26:11,821 Whatever. 578 00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:14,448 ♪ Viewing time makes it grow... 579 00:26:14,532 --> 00:26:16,951 Is this you? I didn't know you were a musician. 580 00:26:17,034 --> 00:26:18,202 - She's not. - Shut up, Todd. 581 00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:19,578 She's only sold one copy. 582 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:20,997 Please shut up, Todd. 583 00:26:22,123 --> 00:26:24,709 I sing. Sometimes. 584 00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:27,003 My mom says it looks good on a college application. 585 00:26:27,086 --> 00:26:29,213 What are your top choices? 586 00:26:29,297 --> 00:26:30,923 Oberlin? 587 00:26:31,007 --> 00:26:32,008 Juilliard? 588 00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:34,802 Berklee with an "E"? 589 00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:36,887 Uh, Seattle Community College? 590 00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:38,472 That's great. 591 00:26:38,556 --> 00:26:40,766 You know, Teri Hatcher went to community college. 592 00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:42,143 Okay, why are you here? 593 00:26:42,226 --> 00:26:45,229 Um, so I actually found out 594 00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:47,898 that CarpetMart is a carpet store 595 00:26:47,982 --> 00:26:50,693 that inexplicably turns into a music venue at night. 596 00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:53,696 The carpets help with acoustics. Obviously. 597 00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:56,449 Because the idea of using a venue 598 00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:59,327 originally designed for music is a poser move. 599 00:26:59,410 --> 00:27:00,619 See? I'm getting this. 600 00:27:02,705 --> 00:27:04,332 Anyway, I thought maybe we could go together. 601 00:27:07,877 --> 00:27:10,212 Okay, um... 602 00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:11,964 So, tonight is the kickoff show 603 00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:14,884 for Bob's Your Uncle's Pacific Northwest tour. 604 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:17,136 They're like the next big thing in grunge. It's totally sold out. 605 00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,556 Oh, nothing's ever really sold out. 606 00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:22,975 Seriously. 607 00:27:23,059 --> 00:27:26,479 I asked my dad to get us tickets. He can do anything. 608 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:30,232 300 square feet of cut-and-loop Berber, 609 00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:33,361 and that is my final offer. Hello? Hello? 610 00:27:33,444 --> 00:27:34,737 If you'd like to make a call... 611 00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:36,197 Honey? 612 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,115 Our floors are perfect now. 613 00:27:38,199 --> 00:27:40,201 My rug guy took us on that full texture journey. 614 00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:41,118 I remember, 615 00:27:41,202 --> 00:27:44,080 and I agree, it looks great. I'm on a different mission. 616 00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:45,289 Elle's asked me to help her 617 00:27:45,373 --> 00:27:47,541 get into some sold-out concert. 618 00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:51,837 Elle asked you to get her tickets? 619 00:27:51,921 --> 00:27:53,255 She probably saw how busy you were 620 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:55,049 with the house and didn't want to bother you. 621 00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,218 You're being sweet. 622 00:27:58,511 --> 00:27:59,887 I embarrassed her. 623 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:01,639 Well, 624 00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:05,393 all I got her was a VIP pass to a carpet convention in Tukwila. 625 00:28:07,645 --> 00:28:08,646 Okay. 626 00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:12,942 For music-related inquiries, including tickets and events, 627 00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:14,777 we call Simon LeDoux. 628 00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:16,153 Got it. Simon LeDoux. 629 00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:20,741 - Madison's dad. - Mm-hmm. 630 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:23,911 He's produced more albums than Rick Rubin. 631 00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:26,497 I may have been a little checked out back at home, 632 00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:28,457 - huh? - A little. 633 00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:32,128 Please bring me my Rolodex 634 00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,672 and a dry martini. 635 00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:36,632 Thank you. 636 00:28:42,263 --> 00:28:43,556 Next. 637 00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:46,392 So, just to be clear, once we're inside, I will be ditching you. 638 00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:47,768 Oh. Okay. 639 00:28:47,852 --> 00:28:49,687 Well, I appreciate your cut-to-itiveness. 640 00:28:49,770 --> 00:28:53,274 I'll just huddle with Shannon and figure out how to get Donna her job back. 641 00:28:53,357 --> 00:28:55,025 Next. 642 00:28:55,109 --> 00:28:57,278 - ♪ Heavy breathing, hunting season ♪ 643 00:28:57,361 --> 00:29:00,072 ♪ There's no reason we can't form a plan ♪ 644 00:29:00,156 --> 00:29:03,659 ♪ Don't touch my graffiti ♪ 645 00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:06,036 ♪ Smile if you dare, oily oinkers... 646 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:07,288 A trust system. 647 00:29:08,289 --> 00:29:10,458 I'm sure this is fine. 648 00:29:10,541 --> 00:29:11,750 Uh, I thought Donna asked you 649 00:29:11,834 --> 00:29:13,419 to stop pestering Anderson. 650 00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:15,880 Oh, she was just looking out for me. 651 00:29:15,963 --> 00:29:18,424 But once she sees the terrifying blackmail note 652 00:29:18,507 --> 00:29:21,510 I crafted using letters from old Us Weeklies, she's gonna... 653 00:29:21,594 --> 00:29:24,180 Wait, how'd you know Donna asked me to stop pestering Anderson? 654 00:29:25,848 --> 00:29:27,600 Shannon, hi. 655 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,101 Oh, I can't talk. Boyfriend's at will call. 656 00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:30,019 Oh. 657 00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,021 What's up, Pink Slip? 658 00:29:34,190 --> 00:29:36,233 Why are you here with the chick who got your mom fired? 659 00:29:38,486 --> 00:29:39,445 Wait, what? 660 00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:40,821 I'm not. 661 00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:44,950 What's wrong, Elle? You look like 662 00:29:45,034 --> 00:29:46,535 you've seen a chipped manicure. 663 00:29:46,619 --> 00:29:47,953 Burn. 664 00:29:49,038 --> 00:29:50,331 Liz? 665 00:29:52,458 --> 00:29:54,960 Excuse me, sorry. Liz? 666 00:29:55,044 --> 00:29:56,128 Liz? 667 00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:58,130 Hang on. 668 00:29:58,214 --> 00:30:00,508 Hey, s-since when is Donna your mom? 669 00:30:00,591 --> 00:30:01,717 Since birth. 670 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:03,761 Why didn't you tell me? 671 00:30:03,844 --> 00:30:05,387 Because you never asked. 672 00:30:05,471 --> 00:30:06,931 Well, that's not fair. 673 00:30:07,014 --> 00:30:09,183 I haven't asked anyone who their parents are in Seattle. 674 00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:11,393 In L.A., I only know 'cause of E! News. 675 00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:13,646 We live out of district, okay? 676 00:30:13,729 --> 00:30:15,814 My mom just told me that me going to our school 677 00:30:15,898 --> 00:30:19,527 hinges on her working there, which means I should have gotten kicked out 678 00:30:19,610 --> 00:30:21,820 when she did, but Anderson was willing 679 00:30:21,904 --> 00:30:24,573 to fudge the paperwork to keep me enrolled. 680 00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:25,574 He can, he can do that? 681 00:30:25,658 --> 00:30:26,784 He did do that. 682 00:30:26,867 --> 00:30:28,536 So if you start accusing him 683 00:30:28,619 --> 00:30:31,747 of cheating via what I assume is a sparkly pink ransom note 684 00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:33,999 on my mom's behalf, I'm pretty sure I'd get kicked out, too. 685 00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:36,669 I-I don't want you to get kicked out. 686 00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:38,254 Then please, just... 687 00:30:38,337 --> 00:30:39,547 give up. 688 00:30:55,813 --> 00:30:59,191 ♪ Knee-highs to the sky ♪ 689 00:30:59,275 --> 00:31:03,737 ♪ Gliding down the street with the sun in her eye-eye-eyes ♪ 690 00:31:03,821 --> 00:31:05,656 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 691 00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:09,493 - ♪ Eye-eye-eye-eyes ♪ - ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 692 00:31:09,577 --> 00:31:11,787 ♪ Eye-eye-eye-eyes... 693 00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:15,457 You look like you're having fun. 694 00:31:16,834 --> 00:31:19,461 Everything just feels backwards here. 695 00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:22,756 You are from a city that pays TV doctors more than real ones. 696 00:31:23,716 --> 00:31:28,053 I mean, I try to be charitable, but I just get people fired. 697 00:31:28,137 --> 00:31:30,973 I try to get Donna her job back, but that's just making things worse. 698 00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,225 But Principal Anderson fudges paperwork 699 00:31:33,309 --> 00:31:34,768 and cheats on his wife, and he's a freaking hero. 700 00:31:34,852 --> 00:31:36,687 Wait, what do you mean, fudges paperwork? 701 00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:38,772 I don't know. I didn't exactly catch the details 702 00:31:38,856 --> 00:31:40,190 amidst my existential crisis. 703 00:31:40,274 --> 00:31:41,609 But he's doing something shady? 704 00:31:41,692 --> 00:31:42,901 'Cause I always thought there was 705 00:31:42,985 --> 00:31:44,486 something deeper going on with the underpaid support staff-- 706 00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:45,863 I want to give up! 707 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:51,952 I've never said that before. 708 00:31:52,786 --> 00:31:55,205 Those words have never entered my mind. 709 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,166 What? 710 00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:58,834 No. No, this place 711 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,252 will not change me. 712 00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:03,547 Cosmo girls are down but not out. 713 00:32:03,631 --> 00:32:05,466 Elle Woods doesn't give up. 714 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:08,427 She doesn't. 715 00:32:09,303 --> 00:32:10,220 Okay. 716 00:32:10,304 --> 00:32:11,847 What-what are you doing? 717 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:13,182 Getting you out of your head. 718 00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:14,475 I'm in wedges! 719 00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:18,604 One, two, three, go! 720 00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:21,690 ♪ Knee-highs to the sky, gliding down the street... 721 00:32:21,774 --> 00:32:23,359 This doesn't seem sanitary. 722 00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:25,069 ♪ Hair of gold, remote-controlled... 723 00:32:25,152 --> 00:32:26,945 Wait, Dustin. Where are you going? 724 00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:28,197 Rage, Elle! 725 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,908 ♪ Walking all around ♪ 726 00:32:30,991 --> 00:32:32,785 ♪ On a merry-go-round... 727 00:32:32,868 --> 00:32:34,953 I dare you to have fun! 728 00:32:35,037 --> 00:32:36,205 ♪ What you do to me ♪ 729 00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:39,124 ♪ It might be better than watching TV ♪ 730 00:32:39,208 --> 00:32:41,460 ♪ Drinking chai, oversized... 731 00:32:41,543 --> 00:32:42,795 Sorry, was that too aggressive? 732 00:32:42,878 --> 00:32:44,380 ♪ And I'm polarized ♪ 733 00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:46,674 ♪ Take it slow unless you're gonna go ♪ 734 00:32:46,757 --> 00:32:49,259 ♪ and then I'll see you later at the all-ages show ♪ 735 00:32:49,343 --> 00:32:51,804 ♪ Walking all around ♪ 736 00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:54,306 ♪ On a merry-go-round ♪ 737 00:32:54,390 --> 00:32:57,059 ♪ Don't you wanna know where to go? ♪ 738 00:32:57,142 --> 00:32:58,310 ♪ I'm on the list for the ♪♪ 739 00:33:19,498 --> 00:33:21,750 Elle, are you okay? 740 00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:48,986 Okay, uh, height? 741 00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:51,530 Five-three. 742 00:33:52,948 --> 00:33:53,866 In kitten heels. 743 00:33:56,994 --> 00:34:00,372 Miles, this is so nice, but you can go. 744 00:34:00,456 --> 00:34:02,541 - Like seriously, please go. - I can't, actually. 745 00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:03,834 You could be concussed. 746 00:34:03,917 --> 00:34:04,835 I'm fine. 747 00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:08,839 On the drive over here, you claimed your favorite color was "charcoal." 748 00:34:09,923 --> 00:34:12,593 I did not say that. Did I say that? 749 00:34:14,178 --> 00:34:16,472 Just testing your short-term memory. You passed. 750 00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:21,268 Ow. 751 00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:22,478 Let me see. 752 00:34:26,565 --> 00:34:29,777 Elle Woods. W-O-O-D-S. 753 00:34:29,860 --> 00:34:31,904 - Buttery blonde-- - Mom, Mom, I'm here. 754 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:33,155 I'm here. 755 00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:35,574 Oh, my God. Oh. 756 00:34:35,657 --> 00:34:36,909 I'm sorry. 757 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:39,620 I am fine. 758 00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:41,371 Are you okay? Do you know who I am? 759 00:34:41,455 --> 00:34:42,623 - Yes, yes. - What's your middle name? 760 00:34:42,706 --> 00:34:44,082 I am fine. It's just a bump. 761 00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:48,212 Honey, what were you thinking? 762 00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:51,840 Sweetie, people die in mosh pits every day. 763 00:34:51,924 --> 00:34:54,718 Well, here I am. Alive. 764 00:34:54,802 --> 00:34:57,429 And who is that handsome young gentleman who seems 765 00:34:57,513 --> 00:34:59,348 very concerned about your well-being? 766 00:35:00,349 --> 00:35:01,975 He's just a friend. 767 00:35:03,811 --> 00:35:04,978 She's gonna make it. 768 00:35:05,979 --> 00:35:07,147 Thanks. 769 00:35:09,983 --> 00:35:11,235 And thank you for helping. 770 00:35:11,318 --> 00:35:13,779 Oh, yeah. See you later. 771 00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,280 See you. 772 00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:22,746 The minute I heard the venue was called CarpetMart, 773 00:35:22,830 --> 00:35:25,499 I knew the night would end in the ER. 774 00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:28,877 Wait, you got me the tickets? 775 00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:31,505 Oh, sweetie. 776 00:35:31,588 --> 00:35:33,632 Your dad may be spending more time in the kitchen, 777 00:35:33,715 --> 00:35:35,926 but that doesn't mean he suddenly knows how to cook. 778 00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:40,973 I'm glad you're here. 779 00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:51,316 So, about my performance at Robin's the other night, I... 780 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,944 you know, I probably should've just said I liked the book 781 00:35:54,027 --> 00:35:56,363 instead of... you know. 782 00:35:56,446 --> 00:35:59,032 Comparing discrimination to a bad nose job? 783 00:36:00,909 --> 00:36:03,620 I get it. You're just trying to connect with people. 784 00:36:05,247 --> 00:36:07,249 It's been really hard here. 785 00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:11,920 I mean, I've never not been liked before. 786 00:36:12,004 --> 00:36:13,422 I hate it. 787 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:16,550 Okay, let me let you in on a little something. 788 00:36:16,633 --> 00:36:18,302 High school is hard. 789 00:36:18,385 --> 00:36:21,096 For everyone, no matter where you live. 790 00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:23,265 But you 791 00:36:23,348 --> 00:36:26,602 are going to win over this entire city before you know it. 792 00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:30,272 Let me grab those charts. 793 00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:32,357 Ten percent off any procedure at my husband's 794 00:36:32,441 --> 00:36:35,903 plastic surgery practice if you can get my daughter seen ASAP. 795 00:36:35,986 --> 00:36:38,113 We don't take bribes here. 796 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:40,115 Of course not. And you shouldn't. 797 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:42,576 Just in case you change your mind. 798 00:36:42,659 --> 00:36:45,913 He can do anything. 799 00:36:50,876 --> 00:36:51,960 Was that necessary? 800 00:36:52,044 --> 00:36:53,545 Yeah. 801 00:36:53,629 --> 00:36:55,547 Long line, sweetie. 802 00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:56,798 And she's gonna be back. 803 00:37:00,886 --> 00:37:03,555 I set out to help an underserved community member 804 00:37:03,639 --> 00:37:07,976 with her comeback and discovered I was in need of my own. 805 00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:10,354 But comebacks don't happen overnight. 806 00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:11,980 They're hard. 807 00:37:12,064 --> 00:37:15,108 There will be times where it will feel like everything's against you 808 00:37:15,192 --> 00:37:16,735 and you'll be tempted to give up, 809 00:37:16,818 --> 00:37:18,570 but... 810 00:37:18,654 --> 00:37:19,863 you just can't. 811 00:37:24,743 --> 00:37:28,789 Because Cosmo girls are strong, 812 00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:30,791 and strong people fight. 813 00:37:34,086 --> 00:37:35,837 How's the noggin? 814 00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:39,299 Oh, I'll live. 815 00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:42,010 Wish I could say the same for my family with dysentery. 816 00:37:42,094 --> 00:37:43,637 I should've never forded the river. 817 00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:46,139 Hmm. Did you ever find that friend you were looking for? 818 00:37:47,557 --> 00:37:49,309 I didn't. 819 00:37:49,393 --> 00:37:50,894 But I may have potentially made a new one 820 00:37:50,978 --> 00:37:52,145 in the process. 821 00:37:52,229 --> 00:37:55,816 See? Seattle can't keep Elle Woods down for long. 822 00:37:58,860 --> 00:38:00,362 Oh, someone named Shannon's 823 00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:01,446 - on the phone. - Dad. 824 00:38:01,530 --> 00:38:02,572 What? 825 00:38:02,656 --> 00:38:04,116 Lead with that. 826 00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:05,617 Oh. 827 00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:12,374 Shannon. Hi. 828 00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:15,669 Elle, I heard you took a major one to the head. Are you okay? 829 00:38:15,752 --> 00:38:17,462 Oh, yeah, I did. 830 00:38:17,546 --> 00:38:20,215 It was pretty... major. 831 00:38:21,008 --> 00:38:22,300 But I'll survive. 832 00:38:22,384 --> 00:38:24,594 Of course you will. They make 'em tough in L.A. 833 00:38:25,345 --> 00:38:29,266 Oh, um, so that Principal Anderson thing? 834 00:38:29,349 --> 00:38:32,561 Turns out I got a bad tip. I'm dropping it. 835 00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:36,356 I think Donna prefers it that way, too. 836 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,108 Uh, probably for the best. 837 00:38:38,191 --> 00:38:42,446 I will continue to picture Anderson as a sexless Ken doll with no parts. 838 00:38:42,529 --> 00:38:44,656 - Shannon, let's go! - Anyway, we're leaving. 839 00:38:44,740 --> 00:38:45,699 Glad you're okay, Elle. 840 00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:47,117 Byes! 841 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,202 Byes. 842 00:39:26,198 --> 00:39:28,241 ♪ He's a movie star ♪ 843 00:39:28,325 --> 00:39:29,993 ♪ Only drives rented cars ♪ 844 00:39:30,077 --> 00:39:31,328 ♪ Met him in a bar... 845 00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:34,081 Bruiser, 846 00:39:34,164 --> 00:39:36,208 you did it. Outside. 847 00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:38,835 Look who's getting the hang of Seattle after all. 848 00:39:38,919 --> 00:39:40,670 ♪ Bottle's on the ground ♪ 849 00:39:40,754 --> 00:39:42,172 ♪ Are you ready now? ♪ 850 00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:46,176 ♪ When it comes to me, I'm gonna be ready ♪ 851 00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:48,136 ♪ It's my turn in a minute ♪ 852 00:39:48,220 --> 00:39:50,055 ♪ Gonna put my message in it ♪ 853 00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:54,184 ♪ Five minutes ♪ 854 00:39:54,267 --> 00:39:58,355 ♪ in the closet with you ♪ 855 00:39:58,438 --> 00:40:02,526 ♪ He's in a bunch of movies, really stupid movies ♪ 856 00:40:02,609 --> 00:40:06,446 ♪ It's not entirely his fault, he can't control it all ♪ 857 00:40:06,530 --> 00:40:10,575 ♪ I am not afraid, I can hardly wait ♪ 858 00:40:10,659 --> 00:40:12,744 ♪ Truth or dare, I don't care ♪ 859 00:40:12,828 --> 00:40:14,663 ♪ Tell the truth, I dare you ♪ 860 00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:18,291 ♪ Five minutes ♪ 861 00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:21,962 ♪ in the closet with you ♪ 862 00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:26,299 ♪ Oh, five minutes ♪ 863 00:40:26,383 --> 00:40:28,510 ♪ in the closet ♪ 864 00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:32,848 ♪ with you ♪ 865 00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:36,810 ♪ Spin it round again, spin it round again ♪ 866 00:40:36,893 --> 00:40:38,770 ♪ Spin it round again ♪ 867 00:40:38,854 --> 00:40:42,732 ♪ Spin it round again, spin it round again ♪♪