1
00:00:00,376 --> 00:00:01,585
Donna?
2
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,214
- Previously on Elle...
3
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,967
I wish we could wake up
from this nightmare, Bruiser.
4
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,760
I just found
a way to get you home.
5
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:12,638
Cosmo's doing
a semester-long internship in L.A.
6
00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:14,098
Tell me how to win, immediately.
7
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,809
You just need to choose
from a few of these essay prompts.
8
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:19,645
"When things get bad,
how would you stage your comeback?"
9
00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:21,647
I could write
about Donna's comeback.
10
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:22,940
I can help her get rehired.
11
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,775
Woods comma Elle?
12
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,610
Hi. I'm Shannon Walker.
13
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:30,030
Sorry, I forgot what it was like
to receive eye contact.
14
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:31,907
Hey. Are you going to CarpetMart
on Saturday?
15
00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:33,743
Okay, what is CarpetMart?
16
00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:35,411
Why are you here with the chick
who got your mom fired?
17
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,704
I'm not.
18
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:39,915
- Since when is Donna your mom?
- Since birth.
19
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:42,001
I haven't asked anyone
who their parents are in Seattle.
20
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,712
Me going to our school
hinges on her working there.
21
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,255
I-I don't want you to get kicked out.
22
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,924
Then please, just give up.
23
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,387
Everything just feels backwards here.
24
00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:55,473
- Okay.
- Hey, wait, what are you doing?
25
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,016
Getting you out of your head!
26
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,813
And who is that
27
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,732
handsome young gentleman
who seems very concerned
28
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,025
about your well-being?
29
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,359
He's just a friend.
30
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,682
Esther, you had an apple cider?
31
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,270
Hi.
32
00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:45,856
Could I get a medium iced--
33
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,107
Elle?
34
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:49,068
- Hey.
- Donna?
35
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,404
What happened to the fish market?
36
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:55,199
This is my weekend gig.
37
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,493
Why are you dressed for a sting operation?
38
00:01:57,576 --> 00:02:00,788
Oh. I'm trying to hide from a boy
who might go here.
39
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,832
One time I saw him drinking
what I think was a coffee,
40
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,542
but what am I supposed to do?
41
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,294
This is the only coffee shop
I don't need my mom to drive me to.
42
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:10,256
You are so brave. Ow! Gosh.
43
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:15,094
Okay, so, this boy that you are avoiding,
is he dangerous somehow?
44
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,220
Only emotionally.
45
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,556
He's dating a girl
I've been desperate to befriend.
46
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,516
I didn't realize it until too late.
47
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,518
Oh, honey.
48
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:23,936
Uh, Donna? You made
49
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:26,105
another decapitated swan.
50
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:28,649
I'm terrible at this.
I'll be right back.
51
00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:33,195
Elle?
52
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:35,656
Shannon. You're here.
53
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,032
Boo.
54
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:40,119
You're both here.
55
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,328
Together.
56
00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,163
Because you're a couple.
57
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:47,167
Looking super strong and committed
this morning, I might add.
58
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,752
Go us.
59
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,881
Oh, actually,
you can settle an argument for us.
60
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,717
We're splitting a bagel.
Which one's better?
61
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,511
Blueberry or everything?
62
00:02:57,595 --> 00:02:59,471
You want me to choose?
63
00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:01,515
Between the-the two of you?
64
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:03,726
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
65
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:06,812
Sorry, Miles.
66
00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,856
Got to go blueberry. Girl code.
67
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,150
Ah, I see.
So, you two are teaming up against me.
68
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,193
Always.
69
00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:14,486
What can I get you?
70
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,781
One blueberry bagel
with blueberry cream cheese.
71
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:22,286
Goodie, a threesome, with Carmen Sandiego.
72
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,829
Uh, can I get a croissant?
73
00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:26,415
Oh, that actually sounds good.
Can you make that two croissants?
74
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,791
Got a blueberry bagel here.
75
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,960
Uh, you guys can have it.
76
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,670
Let's grab a table.
77
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:36,550
And to think
we could've had everything together.
78
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:37,927
That's...
79
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:40,596
I don't know about "everything."
80
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,975
Oh, you meant the-the bagel.
81
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,227
Ignore me.
82
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:50,064
Think I might have a hairline concussion
from that mosh pit.
83
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,401
Oh. I-I think you got a...
84
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:56,153
Mm.
85
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,948
- Here, I'll--
- No! Don't.
86
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,245
I mean, I want it there. It's mine.
87
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:07,373
Okay, well, suit yourself.
88
00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:09,583
I have my own.
89
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,008
I'm sure
it wasn't that bad.
90
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:21,011
We were practically rounding second base
in front of his girlfriend.
91
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:22,638
Pause. Can we please discuss
92
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:25,349
how epic it is
you have a genuine Seattle prospect?
93
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,684
He's not a prospect, Madison.
94
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,477
That's the point. I can't like him.
95
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,145
Miles is with Shannon,
96
00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,815
and Shannon's basically
the coolest senior at Rainier West.
97
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,650
They're the Brad and Gwyneth
of this dumb school.
98
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:38,570
If they're so perfect, then why was Miles
totally flirting with you?
99
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:41,156
Whatever.
I refuse to make another fatal mistake
100
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,992
and turn my school against me again.
101
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:44,535
Just go for it. Who cares?
102
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,663
This will all be a distant memory
when you win the Cosmo contest anyway.
103
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,081
Yeah, you're right.
104
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,875
I just need to move back to L.A.
and get myself out of this mess.
105
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,544
So we agree. Great.
106
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,255
- I got to dip. Uh, later.
- Bye.
107
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,925
Okay, Bruiser, no more boy talk.
108
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:02,594
We need to focus
so we can get ourselves out of this mess.
109
00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:05,723
Essay number two.
110
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,183
"Cosmo Girls are like cake:
111
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:11,395
sweet, layered and a little bit naughty.
112
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:15,399
But making a good first impression
is everything.
113
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,110
If someone were to meet you
for the very first time,
114
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,571
what's one word they would use
to describe you?"
115
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,406
Well, that's easy.
116
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,450
It's obviously...
117
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,703
Well, there are so many words.
118
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,582
Elle Woods is stylish.
119
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,006
Charitable.
120
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:43,886
- ♪ Caroline laughs ♪
- Confident.
121
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,804
♪ And it's raining all day ♪
122
00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:49,516
♪ She loves to be one of the girls ♪
123
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,144
♪ She lives in the place
in the side of our lives ♪
124
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,645
Respectful.
125
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,981
♪ where nothing is ever put straight...
126
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,069
This is actually kind of impossible.
127
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:03,030
If I say I'm glamorous,
128
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,656
are they gonna think
I'm not down-to-earth?
129
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,035
If I pick "smart,"
will they know I'm also fun?
130
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,371
Should I say "motivated"? "Kind"?
131
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:12,456
"Gemini"?
132
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,625
"Vegetarian"?
133
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:19,630
How could anyone possibly narrow down
Elle Woods to one single word?
134
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,382
♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪
135
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:28,597
♪ I'm only happy when it's complicated ♪
136
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,599
{\an8}♪ And though I know you can't ♪
137
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,601
♪ appreciate it ♪
138
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:35,604
♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪
139
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,649
♪ Pour your ♪
140
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,651
{\an8}- ♪ misery down ♪
♪ Pour your misery ♪
141
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,655
{\an8}- ♪ Pour your misery down on me ♪
♪ down, pour your misery ♪
142
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:48,659
- ♪ Pour your misery down ♪
- ♪ down, pour ♪
143
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,663
{\an8}♪ You can keep me company as long as ♪
144
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,706
♪ you don't care ♪
145
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,628
{\an8}♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪
146
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:04,007
{\an8}♪ You wanna hear about my new obsession? ♪
147
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,009
{\an8}♪ I'm riding high upon ♪
148
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,470
♪ a deep depression ♪
149
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,931
♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪
150
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:14,518
♪ Pour some misery down on me ♪
151
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,437
♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪♪
152
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,440
I have no idea
153
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,152
what this could be in reference to.
154
00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:27,322
Someone must have been
trying to write the word "SCOT."
155
00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:30,617
You know, a lot of people think
I'm fully Scottish...
156
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,121
...but I'm mostly Irish.
157
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,167
Hey.
Way to ditch me at CarpetMart.
158
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,670
I ditched you?
159
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,589
I nearly suffered a head injury
as a result
160
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,633
of that unsanctioned mosh pit
you dragged me into.
161
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,385
It's a miracle I'm still alive.
162
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,511
Well, then...
163
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:55,392
...let's not waste
your one wild and precious life.
164
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,649
Know how you told me Principal Anderson
fudges facts on official paperwork?
165
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,360
Dude left his last school
under "mysterious circumstances."
166
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:07,821
It says "unknown," not "mysterious."
167
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,699
You can't just change the word
to make your point more scandalous.
168
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,659
Oh. Speaking of words,
169
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,745
if you could describe me in one,
what would it be?
170
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,040
Yeah, I'm not doing that. Anyway,
this article implies Anderson was fired.
171
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,083
I knew that guy was shady.
172
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,376
Not interested.
173
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,295
- Elle, come on.
- Drop it.
174
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:24,671
Seriously.
175
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,465
Yo, Dustin.
176
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,383
I got ideas for the flyers.
177
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:32,846
Okay, let's see what you got.
178
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,828
All right.
179
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,749
How do I look?
180
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,004
Religious.
181
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,965
Well, I was actually going for "nice,"
but "religious" works, too.
182
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,800
Where did your neck go?
183
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,843
The neck is the pedestal to the face.
184
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,513
Well, I know turtlenecks haven't
traditionally been a part of my aesthetic,
185
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,431
but maybe that was the wrong instinct.
186
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,308
Maybe I'm a turtleneck person now.
187
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,851
Turtleneck pers...
188
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:20,978
- Wyatt?
- Hmm?
189
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,105
I, um...
190
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:26,942
inexplicably saw my Rolodex in your study.
191
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:30,988
Mm. Can you go?
192
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,240
Can you go?
193
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,368
I will retrieve that for you.
194
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,665
Honey. What's going on?
195
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,333
Nothing.
196
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,669
I just...
197
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,673
Do you remember
when we were walking Bruiser in the park
198
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,926
and some lady compared him to a dachshund?
199
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:54,469
Of course. He was devastated.
200
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:57,055
Yeah, well, now I know how he felt--
201
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:58,765
Oh!
202
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,645
Your housewarming invitations
feature a jump scare.
203
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:06,106
Well, first impressions are everything.
204
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,692
Your dad's mishap
205
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:12,154
ran our family out of L.A.
and could have totally destroyed us.
206
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,948
Thank goodness
we have our second chance in Seattle.
207
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:17,784
But Elle, we can't afford
another embarrassment.
208
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,537
Yeah, that would be so bad.
209
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,166
Well, fortunately,
I've figured out that those two gay men
210
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:29,338
that I've been seeing on my twice-daily
power walks live down the street.
211
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:32,341
A well-dressed same-sex couple
212
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,719
really increases
your party's social stock.
213
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,764
And that just reminds me,
I need to give your father
214
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:42,309
a few invites for his clients.
215
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,979
The post-ops, obviously.
216
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,898
And no judgment, but...
217
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,817
Appearance is everything.
218
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:53,153
- You're back already.
- Mm.
219
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,864
What's that doing there?
220
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,866
What?
221
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,326
"Mike McCready"?
222
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,370
Oh, a nice guy I met at a coffee shop,
223
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,080
said he'd be open
for a little jam sesh sometime.
224
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,584
That's just what the world needs:
more men with guitars.
225
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,419
Well, I think it's great, Dad.
226
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,755
Could I get a ride to school?
227
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,256
- Yes.
- Let's do this. Oh.
228
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,761
Yes, sh... you, no, you should take her.
229
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,805
- I have envelopes to stuff.
- Great.
230
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,224
- Bye, Mom.
- I love you.
231
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,725
I love you.
232
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,407
Bruiser?
233
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:41,326
Honey, where are you? Come to Glam-ma.
234
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,748
How's the brain injury?
235
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,127
Did it turn you Amish?
236
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,462
Modesty is nondenominational.
237
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:58,301
I, um, I got your message
on our answering machine.
238
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,804
I really appreciate you
dropping the Anderson stuff.
239
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,347
Well, I meant it.
240
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,807
I get that there are consequences,
241
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,268
and I'd like to think of myself
as a loyal person.
242
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:08,395
Loyal.
243
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,814
- Adding that as a maybe.
- What?
244
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,275
Hello, compatriots.
245
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,360
Elle, I printed you a copy of this.
I don't think you read it fully.
246
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,196
- Drop it.
- What is that?
247
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,116
Oh, just Dustin being Dustin.
248
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,534
Okay, everyone.
249
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:26,496
Today, we are learning
about catalyzed reactions.
250
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,624
You know what that means.
251
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,668
Interactive science.
252
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,713
Now, I have hydrogen peroxide
and different-colored soaps.
253
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,382
When I add our catalyst,
254
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,009
oxygen gets rapidly released,
255
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,261
which aerates the soap, causing...
256
00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,141
Yes. Dustin.
257
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:49,102
So, what you're saying is,
you needed a catalyst
258
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,521
for that incredible feat of science
to go down.
259
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,482
Well, I-I don't know
if I would call, uh, elephant toothpaste
260
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,983
an incredible feat of science,
261
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,903
- but I do think that... Yeah.
- But, but with a little help,
262
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,529
the oxygen came to light.
263
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:02,365
Like all truth does eventually,
don't you think?
264
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,493
Huh. Well, uh...
265
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,745
- Uh, yes, Elle?
- Ms. Burke,
266
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,247
did I misremember the assigned reading
267
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:12,667
that says that hydrogen peroxide
decomposes naturally,
268
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,628
without interference?
269
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,171
Very good, Elle.
Yes, it will decompose,
270
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,964
just slower, without a catalyst.
271
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,382
But that catalyst
272
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,343
ultimately made a giant mess
all over your desk.
273
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,054
Maybe we should think twice
before meddling
274
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,764
with hydrogen peroxide, and be grateful
275
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,642
for its mild
and noncontroversial antiseptic uses.
276
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,602
First of all, I think
you're drastically overestimating--
277
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,812
- How dare you? How dare you?
- Okay. Yeah... All right.
278
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,232
Christopher, would you like
to help me pass out beakers
279
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,483
so we can all try it ourselves?
280
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,444
Super normal behavior from you, per usual.
281
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,154
I told you. I'm a--
282
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,826
...slut.
283
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:15,689
I knew you were capable of lies, Kimberly,
284
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:19,401
but I cannot believe you would scrawl
that vile insult on my locker.
285
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,029
Am I supposed to know
286
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:27,033
what you're talking about or is this
a side effect of your fake concussion?
287
00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,661
I was studying the four-letter epithet,
288
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,163
which I will not repeat in public,
289
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:35,125
when I thought,
"That curly S looks awfully familiar.
290
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,168
Where have I seen it before?"
291
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,962
Hmm, I wonder.
292
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,673
Yeah, sorry if the truth hurts.
293
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,258
What truth? I've never even kissed a guy.
294
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,093
If anything, I'm a prude.
295
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,846
But I would not like that
to be a word that defines me, either.
296
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,097
Please, you...
297
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,183
Wait, are you serious?
298
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,519
How have you never kissed a guy before?
299
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:58,315
I have very specific criteria when it
comes to creating the perfect first kiss.
300
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,774
But my point is,
301
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,943
I could kiss a zillion guys.
302
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:05,530
You do not write S-L-U-T
on someone's locker.
303
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,991
Hmm, what if the S-L-U-T
304
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:11,578
is swooning over
her wannabe bestie's B-O-Y?
305
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:12,829
Miles? That's-that's not even a thing--
306
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,581
I've been friends with Shannon
since kindergarten,
307
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:18,877
so I think it's time she knew that she's
friends with a slut in sheep's clothing.
308
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,795
Well, first of all, this is faux cashmere,
309
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:23,506
so, theoretically,
it would be goat's clothing.
310
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,966
And second,
311
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:29,220
you have absolutely no proof whatsoever
of this alleged crush.
312
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:31,306
Then maybe I need to find proof.
313
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:45,111
Okay, first order of business
when I come visit you over fall break:
314
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,571
kill Kimberly.
315
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:49,324
I refuse to spend
our precious week together burying a body.
316
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,742
Well, forget Kimberly.
317
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,496
She's a classic mean girl bully
who wouldn't survive 24 hours in L.A.
318
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,458
I hear clicking.
Are our phones being tapped?
319
00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,668
Should we change the subject?
320
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,252
Oh, those are my hazards.
321
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,923
I just saw Seven,
and I'm scared to drive home.
322
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,300
But on the plus side,
323
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,886
I can very easily imagine
Kimberly's head in a box.
324
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,346
Madison, ew.
325
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,973
You know you have to go
to her pool party, right?
326
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:16,059
You can't let her ice you out
of the social scene.
327
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,354
Fall functions lead to holiday ho-downs
which lead to spring flings.
328
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,897
Do you want to spend Easter alone?
329
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,358
No, but I can't go.
330
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,901
My mom's housewarming's that day.
331
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,861
- Plus, Miles is gonna be there.
- The way I see it,
332
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,613
you only have one logical response.
333
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:32,283
Get a boyfriend who isn't Miles
and throw Kimberly off the scent.
334
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,704
That's... genius.
335
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,664
But who, though? I don't like anyone.
336
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,874
You don't have to like them,
you just have to be convincing.
337
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,714
"Whirled peas."
338
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:47,799
"World peace." Cute.
339
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,927
Yeah, just with everything going on--
340
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,139
Bosnia, Tonya Harding--
341
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,391
the world just really needs
to be brought together.
342
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,149
Wait, no, you--
343
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:07,026
It's fine. It's totally fine.
344
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:08,528
It's disgusting. Who did that?
345
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,613
The school said they'd remove it.
346
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:12,907
Eventually.
347
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,910
- I am so sorry.
- Oh.
348
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,039
Thank you.
349
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:22,125
Is this why you were wearing
a cashmere turtleneck
350
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,918
under a mid-length dress yesterday?
351
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,336
You noticed, too?
352
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,922
You can't change because someone
feels threatened by you, Elle.
353
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,424
We all know this isn't who you are.
354
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:30,842
I have to go to class.
355
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,051
Burn the turtleneck?
356
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,220
- Definitely.
- Byes.
357
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,805
Thank you.
358
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,937
Yo, Lizbian.
359
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,606
Sick zine this month.
360
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,651
He just called you "Lizbian."
361
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,236
As in "lesbian."
362
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,446
I heard.
363
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,450
- That doesn't bother you?
- He complimented my zine.
364
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,203
I mean, if I'm being honest,
I'm more surprised he knows how to read.
365
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:01,498
Puns are for greeting cards
and multicams, not bigotry.
366
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,875
I'm sorry, you think that guy
came up with "Lizbian"?
367
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,377
That's a Liz Miller original.
368
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:07,962
Why would you start a rumor about yourself
369
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,548
that would cause people
to think that you're gay?
370
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,968
Are you in witness protection?
371
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:18,640
Oh, no, um, I am gay.
372
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,058
Obviously.
373
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,976
I'm sorry for not knowing sooner.
374
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,853
Oh, don't be.
375
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:27,106
If everyone had your gaydar,
the world would be a safer place.
376
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:30,527
I have always considered myself
to be sexual-preference blind.
377
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,862
I had a crush on Freddie Mercury
till sixth grade.
378
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,239
Post-Live Aid.
379
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,782
Anyway, I love that you're gay.
380
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,575
What are you doing for Pride?
381
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,911
Are you just feeling guilty
about getting my mom fired?
382
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,081
No. I genuinely like you.
383
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,874
Why?
384
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,501
Why do I like you?
385
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:47,877
Yeah.
386
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,506
We have nothing in common,
you know almost nothing about me,
387
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,342
so why do you like me?
388
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,593
Name one reason.
389
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,429
I mean, I don't know, I just do.
390
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:01,266
Well, um...
391
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:03,893
when you figure it out,
392
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,854
you let me know.
393
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,863
Hey, if you don't want to sit by your
lonesome, you can sit with me and Shannon.
394
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:17,031
Oh, don't worry,
Miles should be joining, too.
395
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:20,451
Maybe you guys can Lady and the Tramp
the same spaghetti noodle or something.
396
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:21,661
No, thank you.
397
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,789
I'm waiting for my boyfriend.
398
00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:26,708
Dustin.
399
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:30,086
- Huh?
- I saved you a seat, babe.
400
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,379
Oh, please.
401
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,054
Mind if I have some alone time
with my significant other,
402
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:43,558
or do you want to watch
as we create pet names for each other?
403
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,561
Barf.
404
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,188
Oh, you're so funny.
405
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:52,942
Thanks for that.
406
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,360
Yeah.
407
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,155
You're not gonna ask?
408
00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:00,033
Usually, with you, that leads
to more questions than answers.
409
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,367
Besides, I already know
410
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,077
how you're gonna repay me.
411
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,330
- Help me expose Anderson.
- No, thank you.
412
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,165
- I shouldn't have told you about him.
- I just need you
413
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,792
to get one of your parents
to go to the school board meeting tonight
414
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,961
and snag one of the school budgets
so I can see if Anderson's
415
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,464
actually providing the school
with what he's getting money for.
416
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,257
Why can't you ask
one of your parents to go?
417
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,301
My mom lives out of district,
and my dad would know I'm up to something.
418
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,970
Just like how Kimberly would know
you're up to something
419
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,430
if I came out as your fake boyfriend.
420
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:24,140
You wouldn't do that to us.
We're committed.
421
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:26,976
What's your deal with Anderson anyway?
422
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,561
Why do you want to take him down so badly?
423
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,397
Do you know our mascot
used to be the Chiefs?
424
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:35,818
Which, you know, didn't exactly fill some
of our student body with school spirit.
425
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,448
Because it perpetuates
negative stereotypes.
426
00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:44,369
Anderson fought me
on changing the mascot all last year.
427
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:48,414
Basically said it was cheaper
for the school to stay racist.
428
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,463
Yeah, not exactly his biggest fan.
429
00:20:57,006 --> 00:21:01,970
Well, obviously, Anderson stinks
and deserves to be taken down.
430
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:06,683
But if I agree to this,
we get adults and lawyers involved, okay?
431
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,059
We do not go public.
432
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,519
It's the only way
to avoid collateral damage.
433
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,396
Can you do it or not?
434
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:15,608
My mom thrives at a good old-fashioned
school board meeting.
435
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:21,114
But only if you like live entertainment
and vegan options.
436
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:24,909
Ooh, don't open it over here.
437
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,411
Open it by the trash.
438
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,579
I look forward to your RSVP.
439
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,373
Mrs. Woods.
440
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:33,042
This isn't a personal networking forum.
441
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:35,962
Please take your seat.
The board meeting's about to begin.
442
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,505
Of course.
443
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:39,882
It's so good of you to remind me.
444
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,592
Again.
445
00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:45,680
The dress code is "upscale terrace."
446
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,057
I know you got that, Andrew.
447
00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:50,643
"Dean Wilson."
448
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:52,770
Hello, there. Eva Woods.
449
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:55,815
Which you would know
if I put adhesive on bouclé.
450
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,316
You're a new face.
451
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,527
My husband and I are new to Medina.
452
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:01,529
Uh, what neighborhood did you move into?
453
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:04,407
You know, I don't know.
454
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:07,493
It's walking distance
from that bakery with the mini quiches.
455
00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:09,037
- Beaucoup Bake Shop?
- Yes.
456
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,664
Yes. Why aren't all quiches mini?
457
00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:13,332
That is what my husband said.
458
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:15,376
- Mm.
- I don't know.
459
00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:18,963
I do love your little elbow patches.
460
00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:23,676
Now, do you teach English
or are your elbows just prone to friction?
461
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,220
- Uh, neither, actually. I am--
- Dean?
462
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,098
Ah. If you'll excuse me?
463
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:30,516
Eva, it was lovely to meet you.
464
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,018
Lovely to meet you, too.
465
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,396
Oh...
466
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,107
Parents and teachers,
before we start the meeting,
467
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:42,737
it is my distinct pleasure to introduce
Medina's new mayoral candidate:
468
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:44,947
current superintendent Dean Wilson.
469
00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:55,041
Thank you, Eric,
Principal Shane Anderson
470
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:57,460
and the Rainier West School Board
for their political endorsement.
471
00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,670
Mayoral candidate in Converse?
472
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,299
...and I intend to stay committed
473
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:07,386
to providing quality education as mayor.
474
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:10,223
When I began serving
as your district superintendent...
475
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:12,350
Just remind people to RSVP.
476
00:23:13,351 --> 00:23:15,019
...that I would improve academic...
477
00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:20,108
Hey. How'd it go in there?
478
00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:24,028
Still don't understand how
this will get you extra credit in Econ.
479
00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:26,906
Oh, you know, number stuff.
480
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:29,242
Uh, were you able
to unload some invites in there?
481
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:33,496
Yes, but I now am completely rethinking
my dress code.
482
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:35,915
The man running for mayor
483
00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:38,292
looked like an extra
from Dead Poets Society.
484
00:23:38,376 --> 00:23:40,169
Nobody blinked an eye.
485
00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:41,504
Oh, God--
486
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:43,714
Wait.
487
00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:46,551
Is that that skater?
488
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:47,802
Um...
489
00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:49,387
- Hi.
- Hi.
490
00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:51,472
Why are you on my car?
491
00:23:51,556 --> 00:23:55,143
You know, your Benz is pretty cozy
when it's not mowing me down.
492
00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:57,436
Uh, Mom, this is Dustin...
493
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,482
...my-my Econ partner.
494
00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:04,485
Hey, as previously discussed,
495
00:24:04,569 --> 00:24:08,281
the contents of this stays between us
till we commit to a plan.
496
00:24:10,908 --> 00:24:12,451
This is yours.
497
00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:15,163
Now I understand
why you need that extra credit.
498
00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:17,790
Oh, well, see you, Elle.
499
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:20,293
Do let me know
if you want to try any more heroin.
500
00:24:24,714 --> 00:24:28,634
I really worry about you
lowering your standards to fit in.
501
00:24:28,718 --> 00:24:30,428
Are you kidding me?
502
00:24:30,511 --> 00:24:33,389
Dustin's done a lot for this school.
If anything, I don't meet his standards.
503
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,975
- Oh, that's not a bad thing.
- You don't even know him.
504
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:38,853
I know enough
based on my limited interactions with him.
505
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,063
Well, there's more to a person
than a first impression.
506
00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:43,274
I'm just trying to make sure
that my daughter doesn't make a mistake--
507
00:24:43,357 --> 00:24:44,567
Well, your daughter's a slut.
508
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,236
That is absolutely not true.
509
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,281
You've never even kissed a boy before.
You have your criteria.
510
00:24:50,364 --> 00:24:52,450
Well, someone wrote it on my locker.
511
00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:54,035
- What?
- In Sharpie. And I wanted
512
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,495
to tell you about it,
but you've been so obsessed
513
00:24:56,579 --> 00:25:00,374
with rehabbing our family's reputation
with gay men and exploding confetti,
514
00:25:00,458 --> 00:25:02,210
I was scared it would
give you a heart attack.
515
00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:04,170
Oh, honey.
516
00:25:05,463 --> 00:25:08,507
These children are pale on purpose.
517
00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:11,719
They don't know anything.
You're gonna find your friends.
518
00:25:11,802 --> 00:25:16,515
You just have to audition a few new faces
before committing to anyone.
519
00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:20,519
That's the whole reason
we're having our garden party.
520
00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:23,564
You know what, Mom?
I'm not going to your party.
521
00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:24,941
What are you talking about?
522
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,778
I'm going to Kimberly's pool party
523
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:31,322
with Dustin the heroin junkie
who likes sluts.
524
00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:33,532
So, don't worry,
your slutty daughter
525
00:25:33,616 --> 00:25:37,036
won't ruin your perfect party
with her slutty face.
526
00:25:41,082 --> 00:25:45,253
Get in the car before TCBY closes.
527
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,562
♪ Do you really think so? ♪
528
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,565
♪ Do you really think so? ♪
529
00:26:10,945 --> 00:26:13,656
We should probably discuss
some ground rules while we're here.
530
00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:17,410
No extended eye contact, no innuendo.
531
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:18,661
You can call me "Elle" or "babe,"
532
00:26:18,744 --> 00:26:21,122
but I'm open to a more unique pet name
if you have one.
533
00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:23,457
Maybe "Elle of the Ball"?
534
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:25,626
"H-elle"?
535
00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:30,006
You came.
536
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,924
In a bikini.
537
00:26:35,052 --> 00:26:37,805
Oh, I see we're still committing
to this fake relationship.
538
00:26:38,389 --> 00:26:40,016
Has she let you kiss her yet?
539
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:42,310
Apparently,
she has very specific conditions.
540
00:26:42,393 --> 00:26:44,270
Let's go, Dust Bunny.
541
00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:47,023
Lead the way, uh, Elle-A.
542
00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:48,983
That actually wasn't bad.
543
00:26:50,443 --> 00:26:52,611
Uh, what conditions was she talking about?
544
00:26:52,695 --> 00:26:54,238
For you, the apocalypse.
545
00:26:54,322 --> 00:26:56,490
Now, I'll let you go change
and I'll wait for you by the pool.
546
00:26:56,574 --> 00:26:58,534
- Change into what?
- Your bathing--
547
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,745
♪ Black hole sun ♪
548
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:04,123
♪ won't you come ♪
549
00:27:04,206 --> 00:27:07,084
♪ and wash away the rain? ♪
550
00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:09,754
♪ Black hole sun ♪
551
00:27:09,837 --> 00:27:11,839
♪ won't you come? ♪
552
00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:16,510
♪ Won't you come? ♪
553
00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:21,474
♪ Black hole sun, won't you come...
554
00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:23,392
I thought this was a pool party.
555
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:25,519
Yeah, I think that means
something different here in Seattle.
556
00:27:25,603 --> 00:27:28,647
I would've told you,
but I didn't actually invite you.
557
00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:30,274
♪ Won't you come? ♪
558
00:27:30,358 --> 00:27:34,236
♪ Won't you come...
559
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,238
Why didn't you tell me
I was dressed crazy?
560
00:27:37,073 --> 00:27:39,116
I thought it was an L.A. thing.
561
00:27:43,913 --> 00:27:49,043
♪ Won't you come? ♪♪
562
00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:56,634
Hi.
563
00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:57,843
Hi.
564
00:27:57,927 --> 00:28:01,222
Armand, darling,
reach me a few of these, will you?
565
00:28:01,305 --> 00:28:05,559
Hi. I don't think the guests realize
the champagne is real.
566
00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:07,937
I've had several requests for beer.
567
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,438
- Ah.
- Thank you.
568
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:15,778
Is that Mary from the dog park?
569
00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:17,613
Ha-cha-cha.
570
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:21,534
Yeah. Probably didn't recognize me
without a poop bag in my hand, am I right?
571
00:28:23,077 --> 00:28:25,204
Let's put this in your hand instead.
572
00:28:25,287 --> 00:28:26,831
It's from Côte des Blancs.
573
00:28:26,914 --> 00:28:29,792
No, thank you. Uh, actually,
I was just on the hunt for some carbs.
574
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:32,628
Uh, the radish canapés are...
575
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:35,714
boy, are they refreshing, but, uh,
it's not exactly soaking up my buzz,
576
00:28:35,798 --> 00:28:37,216
if you know what I mean.
577
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:39,260
Well, isn't that the whole idea, though?
578
00:28:39,343 --> 00:28:42,513
To just buzz off into oblivion?
579
00:28:42,596 --> 00:28:44,515
'Cause the real world? Blech.
580
00:28:44,598 --> 00:28:46,016
Ugh.
581
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:47,476
I hate the world.
582
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,438
Um, but seriously,
do you have any bread rolls or anything?
583
00:28:51,814 --> 00:28:53,441
Because...
584
00:28:53,524 --> 00:28:57,570
you don't actually want
to buzz off into oblivion,
585
00:28:57,653 --> 00:29:01,615
because you have to wake up tomorrow
and do things.
586
00:29:02,616 --> 00:29:05,119
Oh, God, it didn't even occur to me
to provide bread.
587
00:29:05,202 --> 00:29:06,787
Hey, no, it's okay. It's fine.
588
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:10,833
It's fine. Uh, I will grab some blinis
from the caviar.
589
00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:12,710
I don't know
how I dropped the ball like that.
590
00:29:12,793 --> 00:29:15,045
Um, we have oatmeal.
591
00:29:15,629 --> 00:29:19,133
So, just stay put and I will have the chef
prepare you some.
592
00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:20,718
Okay. Ugh, gross.
593
00:29:20,801 --> 00:29:23,012
I don't... Thanks.
594
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:32,521
Please tell the chef
to boil some water, stat.
595
00:29:32,605 --> 00:29:36,942
Oh, mayoral hopeful Dean Wilson, you came.
596
00:29:37,026 --> 00:29:38,402
What a pleasure.
597
00:29:38,486 --> 00:29:41,363
Uh, November 7, get out and vote.
598
00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:43,574
Join the Dean Team.
599
00:29:43,657 --> 00:29:45,493
I just coined that, but you can have it.
600
00:29:45,576 --> 00:29:46,619
I appreciate the plug.
601
00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:50,915
Well, if you hadn't come, I would have had
to declare a state of emergency.
602
00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:52,333
Mayors do that, right?
603
00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:54,126
Yes.
604
00:29:54,210 --> 00:29:55,711
I think.
605
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:58,047
Honestly, something
I should get confirmation on.
606
00:29:58,130 --> 00:29:59,840
Um, I wanted to get out
and get some face time
607
00:29:59,924 --> 00:30:01,091
- with the voters.
- Mm-hmm.
608
00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:02,635
You know, let them know
that there's a candidate out there
609
00:30:02,718 --> 00:30:04,428
who doesn't just serve the elite.
610
00:30:04,512 --> 00:30:08,557
Well, if you are looking for salt
of the earth, you came to the right place.
611
00:30:08,641 --> 00:30:11,727
Honey, the chef accidentally seared
the foie gras on both sides.
612
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,646
Do you want them to toss it?
613
00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:17,274
- Excuse us for just one sec.
- Mm-hmm.
614
00:30:20,194 --> 00:30:22,363
Okay.
615
00:30:23,656 --> 00:30:26,283
Okay, Elle...
616
00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:29,662
Okay. Stay positive.
617
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:32,206
Everything is great.
618
00:30:32,289 --> 00:30:34,333
What?
619
00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:39,421
Oh, no.
620
00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:41,340
I'm in the belly of the beast.
621
00:30:41,423 --> 00:30:42,591
Um...
622
00:30:43,968 --> 00:30:46,095
This is Kimberly's room?
623
00:30:49,181 --> 00:30:50,474
Oh, okay.
624
00:30:50,558 --> 00:30:53,143
Okay, just move this... put this away.
625
00:30:54,478 --> 00:30:55,479
Okay.
626
00:30:58,732 --> 00:30:59,942
Liz.
627
00:31:13,831 --> 00:31:15,916
- Hi, it's Donna...
- And Liz.
628
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,751
...and we're out
getting matching tattoos.
629
00:31:17,835 --> 00:31:19,837
- Mom, stop.
- All right, fine, we're boring.
630
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,964
- Leave a message anyway.
631
00:31:22,047 --> 00:31:24,675
Liz? Hi.
632
00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:28,512
I'm at Kimberly's party, in a bikini.
633
00:31:28,596 --> 00:31:30,973
So, obviously
I hid myself in her room
634
00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,350
because I was scared
what people would think.
635
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:36,770
Then it dawned on me
why I like you so much.
636
00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:39,690
You don't care.
637
00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:42,151
Like, about anything.
638
00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:44,194
How you dress, how you act.
639
00:31:44,278 --> 00:31:45,988
You write a zine that almost no one reads
640
00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:48,991
and you totally rock
the whole Lizbian thing...
641
00:31:49,992 --> 00:31:51,493
...which I'm realizing now
I probably shouldn't be saying
642
00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:53,454
on your answering machine.
643
00:31:53,537 --> 00:31:56,332
So, I need you to teach me
how to not care.
644
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:59,168
And also, please bring me
my emergency party outfit.
645
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:00,461
My mom can show you the one.
646
00:32:01,045 --> 00:32:02,504
Preferably now.
647
00:32:03,505 --> 00:32:05,382
And at Kimberly's.
648
00:32:05,466 --> 00:32:07,009
Oh, this is Elle, by the way.
649
00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:09,219
Elle Woods. From English class.
650
00:32:09,303 --> 00:32:10,971
- Oh, and tell your mom I said--
651
00:32:12,514 --> 00:32:15,017
I don't know why
you won't give that girl a chance.
652
00:32:16,477 --> 00:32:18,604
This is her leaving a message.
653
00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:21,940
- Imagine her in person.
- I know her in person.
654
00:32:22,024 --> 00:32:24,318
I have worked at Rainier West High
for 20 years.
655
00:32:24,401 --> 00:32:27,905
I know the names of all my students,
and their allergies.
656
00:32:27,988 --> 00:32:31,450
You know, Elle was the only one
657
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:33,911
who called to check on me
when I got fired.
658
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,289
She had known me a week.
659
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:40,959
Imagine her as an actual friend.
660
00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:51,553
...'cause it's grown
exponentially, month over month.
661
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:53,263
We have definitely proven that it works.
662
00:32:53,347 --> 00:32:56,100
I mean, all of which to say that
we're waiting for our series B funding.
663
00:32:56,183 --> 00:32:57,518
- The CEO is really stressed...
- Right.
664
00:32:57,601 --> 00:33:00,771
...about the valuation,
so now he's riding everyone's ass.
665
00:33:00,854 --> 00:33:04,066
He sounds like my trainer.
His name's not Billy Blanks, is it?
666
00:33:05,359 --> 00:33:06,402
It's John.
667
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:08,529
Right.
668
00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:13,992
Well, computer stuff
is so important, Craig. I--
669
00:33:14,076 --> 00:33:15,953
Well, it's more like
an online classifieds section--
670
00:33:16,036 --> 00:33:18,414
Do you have any pictures of your children?
671
00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:22,334
Uh, actually, I-I just realized
I left my wallet in my car.
672
00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,086
Which I handed over to a total stranger.
673
00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:25,295
- Oh...
- Do you know where they parked it?
674
00:33:25,379 --> 00:33:26,839
I will have the valet bring it out front.
675
00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:28,257
What kind of car do you drive?
676
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:29,925
- I-I can grab my own keys.
- No, no, no.
677
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:33,011
That's the valet's job, Craig.
678
00:33:33,095 --> 00:33:35,848
Your job is to enjoy yourself.
679
00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:37,099
Eat.
680
00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:38,308
Drink.
681
00:33:38,392 --> 00:33:39,935
Mingle.
682
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:42,521
Hi. Can you give us a minute, please?
683
00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,565
Thanks.
684
00:33:44,648 --> 00:33:46,191
- What are you doing?
- I don't know.
685
00:33:46,275 --> 00:33:47,776
I don't know what I'm doing.
686
00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:50,904
In L.A., my prowess as a hostess
put Kathy Hilton to shame,
687
00:33:50,988 --> 00:33:53,031
and now I'm completely out of my element.
688
00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:56,827
They want bread, they want beer,
689
00:33:56,910 --> 00:33:58,454
they can park themselves.
690
00:33:58,537 --> 00:34:00,456
You talk about them
like they're from another planet.
691
00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:01,915
I want them to like me.
692
00:34:01,999 --> 00:34:05,502
Well, they will like you, because
you're you, not because of all this.
693
00:34:06,837 --> 00:34:09,006
Fine. You host.
694
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:13,051
I have to go see
if Beaucoup delivers baguettes.
695
00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:20,434
Have you seen Elle?
696
00:34:20,517 --> 00:34:22,436
She probably left.
697
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:23,979
Oh, and you can drop the ruse now.
698
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,647
- What do you mean?
- Oh, come on,
699
00:34:25,731 --> 00:34:27,733
she's obviously not your girlfriend.
700
00:34:27,816 --> 00:34:29,943
I mean, if you're trying
to get in on that, good luck.
701
00:34:30,027 --> 00:34:31,195
She's never even kissed a guy.
702
00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:34,031
Well, that's-that's not
what her locker says.
703
00:34:34,907 --> 00:34:38,660
Hey, look, Elle is a social climber
who thinks she can skip a few rungs,
704
00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:40,662
and you're the one
she's currently standing on, FYI.
705
00:34:40,746 --> 00:34:41,872
I don't know what you're digging for here.
706
00:34:41,955 --> 00:34:45,125
She's cute, she's funny,
we get each other.
707
00:34:46,126 --> 00:34:48,045
I don't know
what's so complicated about that.
708
00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:51,965
Wait, you don't actually like her, do you?
709
00:34:52,049 --> 00:34:53,550
You know,
maybe if you were a little less mean,
710
00:34:53,634 --> 00:34:55,344
you'd have a boyfriend, too.
711
00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:16,990
Elle?
712
00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:19,493
Elle? Where are you?
713
00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:20,994
Liz?
714
00:35:21,578 --> 00:35:22,913
I'm over here.
715
00:35:33,966 --> 00:35:35,259
Okay.
716
00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:39,054
Wait, where's my-my vinyl mini
and pastel Guess sweater?
717
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,889
I didn't bring them.
718
00:35:40,973 --> 00:35:42,724
Very funny. Where are they?
719
00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:43,976
I'm serious.
720
00:35:44,768 --> 00:35:46,854
Okay. It's fine.
721
00:35:46,937 --> 00:35:48,939
It's fine. Plan B.
722
00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:51,984
I'll just borrow something of Kim--
723
00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:55,028
What is this?
724
00:35:57,865 --> 00:35:59,533
Where are Kimberly's clothes?
725
00:35:59,616 --> 00:36:00,951
These are her clothes.
726
00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:02,202
What?
727
00:36:02,286 --> 00:36:03,662
She changes at school.
728
00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:07,124
If her parents saw what she actually
wears, they'd send her to military school.
729
00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:09,084
Well, now who's the poser?
730
00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:11,587
It actually makes me kind of sad.
731
00:36:13,130 --> 00:36:16,592
Okay, well,
I've never worn a gingham jumper before,
732
00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:18,427
but desperate times...
733
00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:20,304
All right, stop touching her shit, okay?
734
00:36:20,888 --> 00:36:23,223
I came empty-handed on purpose.
735
00:36:23,307 --> 00:36:27,060
You said you didn't want to care,
so don't care.
736
00:36:27,144 --> 00:36:28,228
Wear that.
737
00:36:28,312 --> 00:36:29,521
I can't wear this.
738
00:36:29,605 --> 00:36:32,524
There's already a floating rumor
that I'm an S-L-Utah.
739
00:36:32,608 --> 00:36:33,692
Okay, who said that?
740
00:36:33,775 --> 00:36:34,985
Who do you think?
741
00:36:35,986 --> 00:36:37,571
Okay.
742
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:39,072
Here are the facts.
743
00:36:39,156 --> 00:36:41,950
At one point in your life,
you saw that bikini on a shelf.
744
00:36:42,034 --> 00:36:43,869
Right? You bought that bikini.
745
00:36:43,952 --> 00:36:46,079
You wore that bikini today. Why?
746
00:36:46,163 --> 00:36:47,581
Because one-pieces leave weird tan lines.
747
00:36:47,664 --> 00:36:50,042
Because you think you look good.
748
00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:54,046
The key to not caring about what other
people think is to own what you think.
749
00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:55,589
Be your own self.
750
00:36:56,506 --> 00:36:58,133
Flaunt it if you want.
751
00:36:59,509 --> 00:37:02,012
♪ You say ♪
752
00:37:02,930 --> 00:37:06,308
♪ I only hear what I want to ♪♪
753
00:37:08,352 --> 00:37:09,770
Go.
754
00:37:15,025 --> 00:37:17,319
Good job, girls.
755
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:18,946
That sounded really good, you guys.
756
00:37:19,029 --> 00:37:20,238
Mind if I go next?
757
00:37:34,127 --> 00:37:38,173
♪ Take this pink ribbon off my eyes ♪
758
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:42,469
♪ I'm exposed, and it's no big surprise ♪
759
00:37:42,552 --> 00:37:46,974
♪ Don't you think I know exactly
where I stand? ♪
760
00:37:47,057 --> 00:37:51,436
♪ This world is forcing me
to hold your hand ♪
761
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,897
♪ 'Cause I'm just a girl ♪
762
00:37:53,981 --> 00:37:55,774
♪ oh, little old me ♪
763
00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:59,695
♪ Well, don't let me out of your sight ♪
764
00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,614
- ♪ 'Cause I'm just a girl ♪
- ♪ I'm just a girl ♪
765
00:38:02,698 --> 00:38:04,825
♪ all pretty and petite ♪
766
00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:09,454
♪ so don't let me
have any rights ♪
767
00:38:09,538 --> 00:38:11,623
♪ Oh ♪
768
00:38:11,707 --> 00:38:15,002
♪ I've had it up to here ♪
769
00:38:18,171 --> 00:38:20,340
They're so cute together.
770
00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:23,844
I didn't realize they were together.
771
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:25,053
I think it's new.
772
00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:27,347
♪ I'm just a girl ♪
773
00:38:27,431 --> 00:38:29,766
Dustin doesn't really seem
like her type, does he?
774
00:38:29,850 --> 00:38:33,603
♪ I'm just a girl in the world ♪
775
00:38:33,687 --> 00:38:35,397
♪ That's all that you'll ♪
776
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,316
♪ let me be ♪
777
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,569
♪ Oh, I'm just a girl ♪
778
00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:42,237
♪ what's my destiny? ♪
779
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:46,992
♪ What I've succumbed to
is making me numb ♪
780
00:38:47,075 --> 00:38:49,202
♪ Oh ♪
781
00:38:49,286 --> 00:38:51,830
♪ I've had it up to ♪
782
00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:53,957
♪ Oh ♪
783
00:38:54,041 --> 00:38:56,084
♪ I've had it up to ♪
784
00:38:56,168 --> 00:39:00,297
- ♪ Oh ♪♪
- ♪ All ♪
785
00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:05,343
♪ You're my wonderwall ♪
786
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:09,097
♪ I said maybe ♪
787
00:39:09,181 --> 00:39:11,558
♪ Maybe ♪
788
00:39:11,641 --> 00:39:14,478
♪ You're gonna be the one that saves me ♪
789
00:39:14,561 --> 00:39:16,980
♪ Saves me ♪
790
00:39:17,064 --> 00:39:20,192
♪ And after all ♪
791
00:39:22,277 --> 00:39:26,907
♪ you're my wonderwall...
792
00:39:28,408 --> 00:39:30,744
- One more time.
- ♪ I said maybe ♪
793
00:39:30,827 --> 00:39:33,663
- ♪ Said maybe ♪
- Yeah.
794
00:39:33,747 --> 00:39:36,333
♪ You're gonna be the one that saves me ♪
795
00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:39,002
- ♪ That saves me ♪
- Yeah.
796
00:39:39,086 --> 00:39:43,256
♪ And after all ♪
797
00:39:43,340 --> 00:39:44,382
Bring it home.
798
00:39:44,466 --> 00:39:49,096
♪ You're my wonderwall ♪♪
799
00:39:52,015 --> 00:39:53,141
Elle! Elle! Elle!
800
00:39:53,225 --> 00:39:55,477
Elle! Elle! Elle!
801
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,395
Elle, Elle, Elle, Elle,
802
00:39:57,479 --> 00:39:58,730
Elle, Elle, Elle, Elle,
803
00:39:58,814 --> 00:40:01,024
Elle, Elle, Elle, Elle,
Elle, Elle, Elle, Elle,
804
00:40:01,108 --> 00:40:04,069
Elle, Elle, Elle, Elle...
805
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,033
I'm glad you stayed.
806
00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:11,660
Sorry for running away.
807
00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:14,204
But you could have warned me
about my outfit fail.
808
00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:15,747
Sorry.
809
00:40:15,831 --> 00:40:18,917
But to be fair, I'm never gonna
tell a girl to look less hot.
810
00:40:25,382 --> 00:40:26,800
Thanks.
811
00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:31,847
That's, uh, Dustin, huh?
812
00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:33,890
Uh, yeah.
813
00:40:33,974 --> 00:40:35,809
Yeah, it's new.
814
00:40:35,892 --> 00:40:38,645
I guess I didn't really know
about you and Shannon, right?
815
00:40:38,728 --> 00:40:40,689
Yeah, not so new. Two years.
816
00:40:44,234 --> 00:40:47,028
- Um...
- Uh, could I ask you something? Uh...
817
00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:49,322
It's-it's stupid.
818
00:40:51,867 --> 00:40:53,285
Did I, like, do something wrong?
819
00:40:55,287 --> 00:40:56,746
Uh...
820
00:40:59,249 --> 00:41:00,250
No.
821
00:41:01,334 --> 00:41:02,961
No, I mean, it's fine.
822
00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:04,171
I mean, how could you?
823
00:41:04,254 --> 00:41:05,589
We barely know each other, right?
824
00:41:06,214 --> 00:41:10,927
We both just found out
we have romantic counterparts.
825
00:41:11,011 --> 00:41:12,429
Right.
826
00:41:16,349 --> 00:41:17,893
Uh, speaking of, I should probably go...
827
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:20,395
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- ...find mine.
828
00:41:21,897 --> 00:41:23,315
Uh...
829
00:41:36,036 --> 00:41:37,996
- Oh, my God.
- Genuine criminality.
830
00:41:38,079 --> 00:41:40,957
Stealing from
every single one of us. Seriously, guys.
831
00:41:44,711 --> 00:41:46,254
Fantastic. Yeah. There you go.
832
00:41:46,338 --> 00:41:47,797
- Dusty?
- Talking about it on Friday.
833
00:41:47,881 --> 00:41:49,299
Honey, what are you doing?
834
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:50,508
Taking money from the school,
835
00:41:50,592 --> 00:41:51,760
- and this is just the stuff we know about.
- Dustin, stop.
836
00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:53,511
- Everything that's going on--
- I said stop.
837
00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:55,764
What the hell, Elle-A?
838
00:41:55,847 --> 00:41:57,349
You lied to me.
839
00:42:02,812 --> 00:42:05,232
She is pissed at you, bro.
840
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,657
What are you doing?
841
00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:16,201
I thought we agreed to lawyers.
842
00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:17,827
No.
843
00:42:17,911 --> 00:42:19,371
You agreed to lawyers.
844
00:42:19,454 --> 00:42:21,081
And, uh, maybe in L.A.,
845
00:42:21,164 --> 00:42:22,707
they do the hard work for you,
but not here.
846
00:42:22,791 --> 00:42:24,251
Doesn't work like that here.
847
00:42:24,334 --> 00:42:26,878
If we want to get anything done,
we'll have to stand up for ourselves.
848
00:42:26,962 --> 00:42:28,546
But you don't even know what you're doing.
849
00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:30,507
Really? The school budget
850
00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:32,884
claims to employ
three maintenance workers on staff.
851
00:42:32,968 --> 00:42:34,427
Didn't Martindale tell you
they only had one?
852
00:42:34,511 --> 00:42:37,097
Yes, which is why my locker
couldn't get de-slutted.
853
00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:38,932
The school budget
is full of bogus expenses,
854
00:42:39,015 --> 00:42:40,350
like $5,000 for tater tots?
855
00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:41,768
I've been at that school three years,
856
00:42:41,851 --> 00:42:44,312
and not once have I seen
a tater tot at Rainier West High.
857
00:42:44,396 --> 00:42:46,439
You want to blow the whistle
on a tater tot conspiracy?
858
00:42:46,523 --> 00:42:49,442
Did you know that Donna's salary
is still listed on the budget?
859
00:42:49,526 --> 00:42:51,611
The temp presumably makes
a fraction of what she earned.
860
00:42:51,695 --> 00:42:53,697
Where's that money going?
Why was she even fired?
861
00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:56,116
- Donna was fired because of me.
- Maybe she wasn't.
862
00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:58,868
Maybe it was an easy way
to free up some excess cash.
863
00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:01,788
Look, if we're sitting on a huge scandal,
864
00:43:01,871 --> 00:43:04,499
we need to mobilize
the whole school right now.
865
00:43:06,042 --> 00:43:09,546
Wait, is that why you were so willing
to come with me to this party?
866
00:43:09,629 --> 00:43:10,922
To use me as access to an audience.
867
00:43:11,006 --> 00:43:12,549
Unlike how you used me?
868
00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:13,675
To, uh, what?
869
00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:15,343
Prove you don't have a crush
on your friend's boyfriend?
870
00:43:15,427 --> 00:43:16,469
I didn't even know they were dating.
871
00:43:16,553 --> 00:43:18,388
- So, why am I here?
- As an additional measure of security
872
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:21,099
in case I got awkward
and some of my crush leaked out.
873
00:43:23,018 --> 00:43:24,686
So, you do like him.
874
00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:28,315
Look, I do care about this school, okay?
875
00:43:28,398 --> 00:43:31,067
And I'm not trying to get in your way,
but this isn't about me.
876
00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:32,569
It's about me.
877
00:43:34,195 --> 00:43:36,364
I live just outside
the Rainier West school district,
878
00:43:36,448 --> 00:43:39,159
but Anderson lets me go there anyway.
879
00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:41,036
My mom's worried about
anyone digging up dirt on him,
880
00:43:41,119 --> 00:43:43,163
because if he goes,
I might get kicked out.
881
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,583
Elle's trying to protect me.
882
00:43:47,584 --> 00:43:48,710
Thank you.
883
00:43:50,670 --> 00:43:51,880
Duh.
884
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:53,465
You want a ride?
885
00:43:53,548 --> 00:43:55,884
Yes, please.
886
00:44:14,569 --> 00:44:16,279
How was the pool party?
887
00:44:16,363 --> 00:44:17,530
Terrible.
888
00:44:17,614 --> 00:44:18,782
There wasn't even water in the pool.
889
00:44:18,865 --> 00:44:19,991
- And you were wearing--
- Yep.
890
00:44:20,075 --> 00:44:21,826
- After they called you--
- Yep.
891
00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:25,955
It's just so gauche.
892
00:44:26,039 --> 00:44:28,875
I bet no one even uses that word
in 20 years.
893
00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:31,669
Like that dinky little online bookstore
894
00:44:31,753 --> 00:44:33,922
Craig's friend kept going on and on about.
895
00:44:35,799 --> 00:44:38,468
Skater Boy didn't walk you to the door?
896
00:44:38,551 --> 00:44:40,887
Dustin and I aren't moving forward.
897
00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:43,473
He broke my trust.
898
00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:44,933
Honey, I'm sorry.
899
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:48,436
But you can do better.
900
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,522
Come meet the neighbors.
901
00:44:52,065 --> 00:44:54,442
Oh, look who I found.
902
00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:56,653
Oh. You must be Elle.
903
00:44:56,736 --> 00:44:58,071
- Hi.
- I'm Chad Cohen.
904
00:44:58,154 --> 00:45:00,448
- Charlie.
- Elle. Woods.
905
00:45:00,532 --> 00:45:02,158
- Sorry again for being so late.
- Are you kidding me?
906
00:45:02,242 --> 00:45:04,994
The main reason to throw a party
is to get to the after-party.
907
00:45:05,078 --> 00:45:06,996
Uh, Chad and Charlie live
with their son down the street.
908
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,581
Oh. That's nice.
909
00:45:08,665 --> 00:45:09,874
Hey.
910
00:45:13,378 --> 00:45:14,712
Hi.
911
00:45:18,508 --> 00:45:21,761
Uh, do the adults want
to open this in the back?
912
00:45:21,845 --> 00:45:23,555
Or do people want beer?
913
00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:26,474
Beer? Wow. I didn't realize
you were running a frat house, Eva.
914
00:45:26,558 --> 00:45:29,144
Wyatt, we have found our people!
915
00:45:29,227 --> 00:45:31,479
- Come on.
- Nice to meet you.
916
00:45:31,563 --> 00:45:33,523
What do you all feel about
the Hugh Grant scandal?
917
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:35,525
'Cause I... but I don't think
he's coming back from it.
918
00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:41,114
Well, now,
I just thought he was British.
919
00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:46,661
So, the gay couple across the street
my mom's obsessed with?
920
00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:48,913
It's my dads. Yeah.
921
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:54,252
Which makes you my neighbor.
922
00:45:55,253 --> 00:45:58,673
- I can leave if you want me to--
- No, no. You can stay.
923
00:46:00,925 --> 00:46:02,427
I'm sorry about earlier.
924
00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:05,180
You were right.
I was being a little weird.
925
00:46:05,263 --> 00:46:06,723
- No.
- Cheers.
926
00:46:06,806 --> 00:46:09,184
Cheers.
927
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:11,019
- Welcome to the neighborhood.
- Thank you so much.
928
00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:14,814
I guess it's gonna be harder
to avoid me now, though.
929
00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,989
"If Cosmo Girls are like cake,
930
00:46:23,072 --> 00:46:25,575
then cake, by definition,
931
00:46:25,658 --> 00:46:27,660
is made up of many ingredients.
932
00:46:27,744 --> 00:46:31,998
So shouldn't what makes us 'us'
consist of many words?
933
00:46:32,081 --> 00:46:34,709
Xena isn't just a warrior
934
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:37,003
or just a princess.
935
00:46:37,086 --> 00:46:39,756
And for all we know,
Buffy could be slaying kittens
936
00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:41,758
without the appropriate qualifier.
937
00:46:42,842 --> 00:46:47,889
Sorry, Cosmo, but I refuse
to write this essay on your terms.
938
00:46:47,972 --> 00:46:50,808
I am a constant work in progress.
939
00:46:50,892 --> 00:46:55,813
And I am not about to brand Elle Woods
as any one word."
940
00:47:25,969 --> 00:47:28,846
♪ Twenty-five years and my life is still ♪
941
00:47:28,930 --> 00:47:33,560
♪ trying to get up
that great big hill of hope ♪
942
00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:37,689
♪ for a destination ♪
943
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,569
♪ I realized quickly
when I knew I should ♪
944
00:47:42,652 --> 00:47:47,782
♪ that the world was made up
of this brotherhood of man ♪
945
00:47:49,117 --> 00:47:51,619
♪ For whatever that means ♪
946
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:57,125
♪ And so, I cry sometimes
when I'm lying in bed ♪
947
00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:01,087
♪ just to get it all out,
what's in my head ♪♪