1 00:00:00,084 --> 00:00:02,545 The school budget, which Anderson single-handedly oversees, 2 00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:04,964 said we spent $129 on mousepads. 3 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:06,382 No mousepads. 4 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,008 You know how I feel about protecting Liz. 5 00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:09,260 I apologized. 6 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,553 Previously on Elle... 7 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,179 Robin's funeral will be in Denver, 8 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:14,515 where most of her family lives, so I panicked 9 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,559 and offered to throw her a memorial. 10 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:17,685 Let me help. 11 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,521 Whoever Robin was to you... 12 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:23,357 thank you for being here today to pay your respects. 13 00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:25,901 I'm so sorry for your loss. 14 00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,611 I appreciate that. 15 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,655 - I kissed Elle. - I don't want to look at you! 16 00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:33,409 I don't want to be around you, and you can tell Elle I am done with her, too! 17 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,619 I don't want to lose Shannon as a friend. 18 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,221 These are for you. 19 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:58,225 And these are for your daughter, 20 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:01,103 who's probably never going to speak to me again. 21 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:06,400 I am so, so sorry. 22 00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:08,194 To both of you. 23 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,116 You know, while I have you here, 24 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,285 maybe you could put in a good word to Shannon. 25 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,120 She's gone, too. 26 00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:20,247 Well, she's not dead, obviously. 27 00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:21,624 Not that there's anything wrong with that. 28 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:28,506 I'm so sorry I... I kissed Miles. 29 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,467 Your daughter had recently broken up with him. 30 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,969 She broke up with him. 31 00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:38,349 I don't know if you caught that before you... you know. 32 00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:41,977 But I will make this right. 33 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:46,398 Hey! 34 00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:49,902 Some of us are busy paying our respects here. 35 00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:56,408 Why isn't there a stop sign at this intersection? 36 00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,287 Why isn't there a stop sign at this intersection? 37 00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:14,134 One will suffice. 38 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,846 Hi. I have this petition for a stop sign. 39 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:20,224 There's this really dangerous intersection near our school. 40 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,685 You'll see I have the requisite 1,000 signatures. 41 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:28,440 So, you're going to win Shannon back with a stop sign? 42 00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:31,277 Seems like it would've been easier to just not kiss her boyfriend. 43 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,030 Ex-boyfriend. She means ex-boyfriend. 44 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:38,868 That detail's not for public consumption yet. 45 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,662 And this isn't about Shannon and me. It's for the greater good. 46 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:47,710 I can't undo the mistake I made, but this is something I can do. 47 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,378 With your help, of course. 48 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,754 According to our records, 49 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:55,092 we already approved a stop sign at the corner of 50th and Evans. 50 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,136 Last June, in fact. 51 00:02:57,219 --> 00:03:01,098 I can assure you, there is no such stop sign at said intersection. 52 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,183 We approved the stop sign, 53 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:06,312 but the school elected to handle contracting themselves. 54 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,690 Sorry, I-I don't understand. 55 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:13,611 Are you saying someone ordered a stop sign but never paid for it? 56 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,821 It says right here. 57 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,281 "One stop sign, 58 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:21,201 requested by and granted to Rainier West High School board, 59 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,954 point of contact Shane Anderson." 60 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,999 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 61 00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:33,213 ♪ I'm only happy when it's complicated ♪ 62 00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:35,215 {\an8}♪ And though I know you can't ♪ 63 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,217 ♪ appreciate it ♪ 64 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:40,638 {\an8}♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 65 00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:43,265 ♪ Pour your ♪ 66 00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:45,768 {\an8}- ♪ misery down ♪ ♪ Pour your misery down ♪ 67 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,853 {\an8}♪ Pour your misery ♪ 68 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,271 {\an8}- ♪ down on me ♪ ♪ Pour your misery ♪ 69 00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:51,941 - ♪ down ♪ - ♪ Pour your misery down ♪ 70 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,275 ♪ Pour ♪ 71 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:57,279 {\an8}♪ You can keep me company as long as ♪ 72 00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:59,323 ♪ you don't care ♪ 73 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:04,244 {\an8}♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 74 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:09,041 {\an8}♪ You wanna hear about my new obsession? ♪ 75 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,626 {\an8}♪ I'm riding high upon ♪ 76 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,087 ♪ a deep depression ♪ 77 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:16,048 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 78 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:19,134 ♪ Pour some misery down on me ♪ 79 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:22,054 ♪ I'm only happy when it rains ♪ 80 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,056 ♪ Pour some misery down... 81 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,687 Are you following? 82 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,855 Can you rewind a little bit? 83 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,482 Some video store humor for you there. 84 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,943 But, also, I mean it. Go back a little. 85 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,070 Sure. Principal Anderson either 86 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,198 forgot to purchase the stop sign he ordered for the school entrance, 87 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,410 or he got the school board to cough up the money and took it for himself. 88 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:47,579 Just like he did with the yield sign and the two "no parking" signs by the track. 89 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,623 Anderson requested and received 90 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:53,252 $15,600 from the school board for campus signs alone. 91 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,504 And that doesn't even include mousepads, tater tots, 92 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,297 gym mats and a bunch of other stuff 93 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,383 we found in the school budget that doesn't exist in real life. 94 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,592 Mm. 95 00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:02,094 Did you pay for that candy? 96 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,931 As if I'm gonna put Blockbuster out of business. They'll be fine. 97 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:08,434 This is what got you fired in the first place. 98 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,519 All right, I know you're all very excited by this theory, 99 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,897 but I think you should direct your amateur detective efforts elsewhere. 100 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,944 What is he doing here? 101 00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:21,488 Hey, uh, Dustin called me, filled me in. 102 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,824 Why would you do that? 103 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,744 We can use the extra brainpower. 104 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,287 Plus, he's Shannon's boyfriend. 105 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,872 - Ex. - Ex. 106 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,417 What am I missing? 107 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,961 They're on a friendship sabbatical. 108 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,755 I'm just here to help. 109 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:44,887 Anyway, you were Principal Anderson's secretary for two years. 110 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,139 Do you think he could've stolen all that money? 111 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,349 I don't know. He's such a rule follower. 112 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,143 Well, 113 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:54,313 the teachers love him, parents love him. 114 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:57,316 He was just a finalist for State Principal of the Year. 115 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,400 The people spoke. 116 00:05:58,484 --> 00:06:01,236 But... but he sucks. 117 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,741 Fine, but you can't just order things and not buy them. 118 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,368 There is a record. And, plus, I would know. 119 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:11,580 I've spent hours filing receipts and invoices. 120 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,123 Did he have receipts for the stuff we don't have? 121 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,125 Mousepads? Tater tots? Gym mats? 122 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,878 I don't know... 'cause I'm staying out of it. 123 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,380 Hypothetically, where would these receipts be? 124 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:23,842 In his file cabinet in his office, which is always locked. 125 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,053 - Can we break in? - If it opens, 126 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,846 - it can be broken into. - How? 127 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:32,893 I have a lot of bobby pins from my French-twist period. 128 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,729 - We steal Frank's master key. - Got it. 129 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:38,023 Wait. Frank the maintenance guy? I thought he was fired. 130 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:41,026 His schedule got shifted to weekends. Budget cuts. 131 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:44,238 Yeah, good luck. When I'd ask Frank for the key to the snack closet, 132 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,115 - he'd say, "From my cold, dead hands." - Right, 133 00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:48,742 because you have to pay for snacks. 134 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,452 - They're-- Okay. - Okay, so let's say 135 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:53,664 we somehow get into the school on Saturday, get the key off Frank. 136 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,749 - What do we do? - We break into Anderson's office, 137 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:59,628 make copies of the receipts, cross-reference them with the budget. 138 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,047 If anything's missing, that's evidence we can take to the school board. 139 00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:05,801 Easy. Now we just need an excuse to be in school over the weekend. 140 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,514 Guys? 141 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,817 Hello, Rainier West High. 142 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,903 This is Liz Miller coming to you live from the AV room. 143 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,613 Please rise for the national anthem. 144 00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,247 {\an8}♪ That girl thinks ♪ 145 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,457 {\an8}♪ she's the queen of the neighborhood ♪ 146 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:40,669 - Coming through. - ♪ She's got the hottest trike in town ♪ 147 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:41,920 ♪ That girl... 148 00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:43,755 Dustin, principal's office, now. 149 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,132 ♪ so high ♪ 150 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,466 ♪ I think I wanna be... 151 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,345 This period was not designed for you to take a nap. 152 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,055 ♪ Rebel girl ♪ 153 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,724 ♪ Rebel girl, you are the queen of... 154 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,559 Take that to the principal's office. 155 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,604 {\an8}♪ Rebel girl, rebel girl ♪ 156 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:03,066 ♪ I think I want to take you home, I want to try on your clothes, uh ♪♪ 157 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,486 - - 158 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:13,035 For you. 159 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,875 From the League of Women Voters. 160 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,127 Huh. 161 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,630 Thank you. 162 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:26,965 Thank you. 163 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,802 ...head to the nurse's office. 164 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,848 {\an8}- 165 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,142 {\an8}- Listen up. 166 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,229 "Operation: Manifest Anderson's Demise 167 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:45,317 by Breaking into His Office to Expose His Hypocrisy" starts now. 168 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,526 Subtle. 169 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,528 Once the detention monitor gets here, 170 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:52,032 we'll initiate Phase One: key loop sabotage. 171 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:55,160 I took the liberty of fleshing out the plan a bit. 172 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,411 What's that smell? 173 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,501 Is this... lavender scented? 174 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,962 Great nose, Liz. 175 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:09,549 Lavender is a naturally calming fragrance, and heists are known to be quite nervy. 176 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:14,179 Whoa. When did detention get so uncool? 177 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:15,722 I'm sorry, what are you doing here? 178 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:19,726 Oh, turns out nine tardies is six too many, so... 179 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:24,147 Didn't expect to see Good Girl Barbie serving time. 180 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,818 What'd you do? Turn in an English essay in the dialect of a Valley girl? 181 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,445 I don't speak Valley. 182 00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:33,115 I only go there for sushi and designer discounts. 183 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,200 - Oh. - Yeah, Elle's actually 184 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:37,828 - the biggest badass here. - Really? 185 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,079 Enlighten me. 186 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:43,792 Pie to Anderson in the face. Don't want to talk about it. 187 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,877 Elle Woods pied the principal. 188 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,714 That's... shockingly epic. 189 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,549 Thank you. 190 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:54,428 But it's now 9:23 a.m. 191 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,346 Does detention not start at 9:15? 192 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,890 Where's our monitor? 193 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,183 Oh, here we go. 194 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,436 I heard that. 195 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,231 - You forgot your lunch. - Oh, I didn't-- 196 00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:12,571 I think someone might miss being at school. 197 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:16,700 Okay, delinquents, here's how this is gonna work. 198 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,746 Every one of these books is gonna be reshelved by 3:00 p.m., 199 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:24,249 so get friendly with our Dewey decimal system. 200 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,676 Phase One. 201 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,444 May I please request the hall pass? 202 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,919 Frank. 203 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,543 Elle should be back by now. 204 00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,255 "9:15, cut key loop. 205 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,923 10:15, flood toilets." 206 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,717 What is this and why does it smell like my grandma? 207 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,219 Not for you. 208 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:06,810 Okay, you guys are being even more... yourselves than usual. 209 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,938 Did you Trojan horse yourselves into detention? What's going on? 210 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,148 Okay, why don't you go stack some books. 211 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,733 I should know if I'm about to become an unwitting accomplice 212 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,527 to some lame secret operation. 213 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:20,323 Guys, uh, she could actually be useful. 214 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,533 - Oh. Thank you. - Oh, why? 215 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,410 Do we have a role for an overly confident mean girl? 216 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,538 Mrs. Martindale, I think my fellow delinquents are up to something shady. 217 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,290 Okay, you have no idea what you're doing. 218 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:31,793 As I said moments ago, I would love to be in the loop. 219 00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:38,925 Fine. We think someone here, at a very high level, 220 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:41,761 is embezzling money from the school. 221 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:49,269 So you all wasted the only sunny Saturday in the last two months to, what, care? 222 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,937 You're right, super useful. 223 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,064 Okay, I'm sorry. It's not like it's our own personal money. 224 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,858 The stolen funds were meant for a stop sign 225 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,693 in the intersection where Robin had her accident. 226 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:02,616 Count me in. Who do I bludgeon? 227 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,369 Anderson. We need to break into his office to prove it. 228 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,718 What the...? 229 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,844 Great. 230 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,778 Elle. 231 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,322 Ms. Burke. Hi! 232 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,490 Hi. 233 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:47,536 Oh. I'm just coming from the bathroom. 234 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,788 You know, taking the scenic route. 235 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,998 Got to keep the blood flowing, right? 236 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:55,085 Detention's the enemy of cardiovascular health. 237 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,628 Detention? 238 00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:59,089 Doesn't sound like Elle Woods. 239 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:03,718 If anyone asks, I threw a pie in Anderson's face. 240 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,762 Wha... What? 241 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,431 I didn't actually, but all my friends got detention, 242 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:12,394 so I decided to join them for moral support. 243 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,772 Oh. Protective and caring. 244 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,607 How very Cancer of you. 245 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,442 Oh, I'm a Gemini. 246 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,945 Oh. Maybe cusp, then. 247 00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,030 No. My birthday is June 20th. 248 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,574 Purebred Gemini. 249 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,492 My-my sister is Gemini rising. 250 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,995 Or Gemini moon? 251 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,746 Or she dated a Gemini? 252 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,373 Wow, I have got to call my sister. 253 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,750 Sorry. Uh, you should... 254 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,711 - you should get back to detention. - Yes. 255 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,255 Oh, well, there is something I never thought I'd say to you. 256 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,507 - You and me both. - Oh. 257 00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:43,800 Don't forget to sign up for the Science Fair! 258 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,260 Got it. 259 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,513 Welcome to Medina Town Hall. 260 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:51,141 Like any other hall in any other town. 261 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,560 You brought me here to do... what? 262 00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:57,897 Well, when we first met, you were very... 263 00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,066 honest about my campaign needing a refresh. 264 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,360 But I don't know anything about political speeches. 265 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,112 You know about presentation. 266 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,574 All right? If it wasn't for you, I would still have that mustache 267 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,701 that nobody else told me made me look like a serial killer. 268 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:10,869 Ooh. 269 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,788 And I would still be dressing like, um... 270 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:14,873 Ted Bundy. 271 00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:17,834 I was gonna say Jordan Catalano, but... 272 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,755 From My So-Called Life? No. 273 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,341 Here's my question. 274 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,051 How do I get people to like me? 275 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:32,932 You'll be presenting here? 276 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:35,393 - Mm-hmm. - And against that color scheme? 277 00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,771 You're gonna be standing? 278 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,692 All right, get up there. Let's see how the people will see you. 279 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,319 Okay. 280 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,993 Yikes. 281 00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:53,578 That's what I'm talking about. 282 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,080 - Nixon. - Oh. 283 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,623 He sweat through his first debate with Kennedy. 284 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,042 - It cost him the entire election. - Okay. 285 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,754 We're gonna need some powder foundation, 286 00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,589 some incandescent lighting, 287 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:09,552 and I will send you to my chiropractor to work on your posture a bit. 288 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,012 And I know you've been kind of 289 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:15,600 experimenting with a few things up there, but I'm just gonna fly out my hairstylist. 290 00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:18,269 Great. 291 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,773 Cool. You want to come check out my campaign office after this? 292 00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:25,860 Oh, I would love to, but I got to pick Elle up from detention at 3:00. 293 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,404 Detention? 294 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,656 She seemed so sweet when she was cajoling me 295 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:31,574 into renting a booth for her homecoming. 296 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:34,703 Yeah, she has some ludicrous theory 297 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:37,664 about her principal stealing funds from the school. 298 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,999 Can you go to the other podium? 299 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:43,420 Your better angle needs to face the TV cameras. 300 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,629 Hold on. 301 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,382 E-Elle thinks that Shane Anderson is stealing money? 302 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:52,137 Yes. And she can be very convincing when she's invested in something. 303 00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:58,309 I think our best bet is to do this by candlelight. 304 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,528 Phase One is complete. 305 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,196 Is Phase Two killing Anderson? 306 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,199 - You guys told Kimberly? - I was forced. 307 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,868 Oh, like someone forced you 308 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,703 - to wear those pants? - Remember when you got nicer? 309 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:17,871 Can we go back to that? 310 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,706 Okay. Phase Two. 311 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:23,668 What does "Consolidate and secure personal care essentials" mean? 312 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,798 {\an8} 313 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,436 Can I help you? 314 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,439 That looks so familiar. 315 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:48,485 Oh, yeah, it's Cujo. I kind of thought was banned, 316 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:51,654 and I will therefore be 317 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:55,533 prominently placing it right... 318 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:56,993 here. 319 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,204 No. Your bracelet. 320 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,331 Camp Saddle Rock. 321 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:05,418 I saw it earlier and thought, "Who have I seen wearing that before?" 322 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:10,048 And then I thought, "Wait. Liz has that bracelet." 323 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,175 - And then I thought-- - Get there faster. 324 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,720 Were you two at camp at the same time? 325 00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,889 Why in the world would that matter? 326 00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:21,267 I'm just trying to figure out what your damage is with each other. 327 00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:22,769 With you and me... 328 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:26,606 - We don't need to recap. - Mm. 329 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,817 But Liz is, like, the most neutral force ever. 330 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,902 I'm sorry, but Liz is not neutral. 331 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,363 Okay, so something did happen. 332 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,656 Did you have a big fight? 333 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,366 You know, this might shock you, 334 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,619 but our lives didn't just start the second you appeared at this school. 335 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,422 What the hell is a friendship sabbatical? 336 00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:52,882 What? 337 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,093 You and the running man are being weird. 338 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,012 What? No, we're not. 339 00:18:58,096 --> 00:18:59,222 Stop playing with fire! 340 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:00,932 I'm not! Everyone's fine! 341 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,600 You'll burn the place down. 342 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:08,857 Why are the quiet ones always pyromaniacs? 343 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,025 And isn't Cujo banned? 344 00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,696 I'm moving to self-help. 345 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,883 So, uh, I hear you and I are on some sort of embargo. 346 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,094 Embargo, sabbatical. 347 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,680 Where are we, a thesaurus convention? 348 00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:46,394 Are you okay? 349 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:47,770 Yep. 350 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,398 You just shelved R. L. Stine in self-help. 351 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:55,528 One could argue his entire repertoire is a metaphor 352 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:58,406 for the horrors of teen adolescence. 353 00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,616 One could. 354 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,245 I messed up. 355 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,832 Maybe I shouldn't have told Shannon. 356 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:11,085 You were tiki drunk at her mom's memorial. 357 00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:13,212 I know. I-I screwed up. 358 00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,591 But we both tried calling her. 359 00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,092 She doesn't want to talk to us. 360 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,637 I'm not sure what else we can do. 361 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,597 Nothing. We do nothing. 362 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,933 No more extended eye contact, 363 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:27,143 no more leaning against lockers, 364 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,770 - no more-- - No speaking to each other? 365 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,898 I think we should avoid anything involving mouths. 366 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,444 Okay. 367 00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:40,406 Can I ask, respectfully, why? 368 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:43,743 I mean, she already knows. 369 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,244 She's not here. 370 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,333 Because it's just not me, Miles. 371 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,002 I'm not that kind of girl. 372 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:03,972 Uh, there's a plumbing emergency in the ladies' room. 373 00:21:04,055 --> 00:21:06,432 What? Did you say something? 374 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:08,893 Toilet... 375 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,520 ...exploded. 376 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,147 I'll call Frank. 377 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:19,737 That's my cue. 378 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,156 Good luck. 379 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,042 Aw, come on. 380 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,600 Come on, come on, come on. 381 00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:52,478 Why does every key look the same? 382 00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:53,896 Miles? 383 00:21:56,274 --> 00:21:57,442 Principal Anderson. 384 00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:05,700 Hey. 385 00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:07,368 Did you drop this? 386 00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:09,203 - Hilarious. - I thought so. 387 00:22:09,287 --> 00:22:10,788 Yeah, do you come up with these ahead of time, 388 00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:12,832 or is this just, like, off the top of your head? 389 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:15,001 - Oh, you think I'm funny? - Here's an idea. 390 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:17,628 Why don't you two stop fighting about... 391 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,465 ...the mineral economy, 392 00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,050 and start getting ready for our next phase. 393 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,134 Hey, guys. 394 00:22:24,302 --> 00:22:25,428 We're screwed. 395 00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:28,014 Sixty-one tampons! 396 00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:30,600 And that's not to mention the super pluses 397 00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:35,271 that got so engorged they became one monster, uh, tampon rat king. 398 00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:39,901 - Yep, we're screwed. - Fire, blood or flood. 399 00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:43,863 I am not to be bothered on my days off unless there is a fire, blood or flood, 400 00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:46,365 and you all chose the latter. 401 00:22:47,075 --> 00:22:50,119 Mrs. Martindale, you may take the rest of the day off. 402 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:54,749 Uh... 403 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:56,292 - They're all accounted for. - Mm. 404 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,794 The one in the hoodie's alive. 405 00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,670 He just looks comatose. 406 00:23:06,344 --> 00:23:07,595 Uh, Miss Woods? 407 00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:10,098 Yeah, might I ask what you're doing here? 408 00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:21,067 I am here to serve my time just like everyone else. 409 00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:23,444 Uh-huh. Well, I'm just looking at my roster here. 410 00:23:23,528 --> 00:23:26,447 I got the athlete, the basket case, the princess, 411 00:23:26,531 --> 00:23:28,825 the criminal, but no Elle Woods, so... 412 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,743 what are you doing here, Miss Woods? 413 00:23:32,954 --> 00:23:35,164 You remember. 414 00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:37,208 When I pied you in the face. 415 00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:41,462 When you... I'm sorry, when you what? 416 00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:43,381 You know. 417 00:23:43,464 --> 00:23:45,133 When I pied you in the face. 418 00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:48,219 I... no, I don't understand anything you're saying. 419 00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:50,680 When she pied you in the face. 420 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,390 Oh. 421 00:23:53,975 --> 00:23:58,521 You mean the lemon meringue you gifted me for some woman thing? 422 00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,022 - Wha-- - What? 423 00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:04,193 Seriously! Why are you here? 424 00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,117 To scare myself straight. 425 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,121 Well, I guess now you're here because you lied. 426 00:24:15,204 --> 00:24:16,664 New deal. 427 00:24:16,747 --> 00:24:19,333 No more hall passes. 428 00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:24,088 We are all staying put until 3:00. 429 00:24:24,172 --> 00:24:26,174 What if we need to use the facilities? 430 00:24:26,257 --> 00:24:28,509 Then I guess you're gonna have to get familiar 431 00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:31,179 with the concept of holding it. 432 00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:39,896 Oh, my God. You're Ally Sheedy. 433 00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:43,107 - Elle Woods. - No, in The Breakfast Club, 434 00:24:43,191 --> 00:24:44,984 there's the whole thing where they learn that Ally Sheedy 435 00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:48,237 didn't even have to be in detention, she just showed up. 436 00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:52,533 Okay, I couldn't do it. 437 00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:53,951 - I really tried. - Mm-hmm. 438 00:24:54,035 --> 00:24:56,329 I even went to his office with the pie. 439 00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:58,956 But I'm not a natural rule breaker, 440 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,626 and the consequences really flash before your eyes 441 00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,211 once you're face-to-face with them. 442 00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:06,214 Can you imagine what it's like inside her head? 443 00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,715 Wait, I'm sorry, I thought that I was Ally Sheedy, 444 00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:10,301 and I thought that you were Molly Ringwald. 445 00:25:11,302 --> 00:25:12,428 Am I Molly Ringwald? 446 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,804 Maybe we should have 447 00:25:13,888 --> 00:25:15,723 seen it coming that Elle's bad at being bad. 448 00:25:15,806 --> 00:25:17,308 Guys, whatever. 449 00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:19,018 Elle's a model citizen. We knew this. 450 00:25:19,101 --> 00:25:20,728 We have more important things to deal with right now. 451 00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,271 We need a plan B. 452 00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:47,713 - Yo, Kyle. - Mm-hmm? Mm-hmm? 453 00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,632 Wake up. 454 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,801 You wouldn't happen to have your, uh... 455 00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:54,053 you-know-what, would you? 456 00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:55,805 Have his what? 457 00:26:03,521 --> 00:26:05,940 All right, Mr. Chuckles. I'll see you soon. 458 00:26:09,443 --> 00:26:10,611 Principal Anderson, 459 00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:13,239 we need you to settle an argument for us. 460 00:26:13,322 --> 00:26:16,117 Do I actually need a pregnancy test to know that I'm pregnant? 461 00:26:17,368 --> 00:26:19,578 - Uh... - I vote yes. 462 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:21,914 And I feel like those tests are just the patriarchy 463 00:26:21,998 --> 00:26:23,874 trying to normalize corporations charging women money for something 464 00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:25,293 they already know about their own bodies. 465 00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:26,711 Hmm, good point. 466 00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:27,920 I do know when I'm ovulating. 467 00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:28,838 - Mm-hmm. - Boo. 468 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,006 Thoughts? 469 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,173 Um... 470 00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:33,718 Well, have you talked to your parents about this? 471 00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:36,262 Oh, my parents are religious. 472 00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:37,763 We can't talk about sex. 473 00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:42,351 Yeah, um, see Mrs. Nelson 474 00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:44,270 in the guidance counselor's office next week. 475 00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:46,022 I'm sure she has a pamphlet. 476 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:47,732 Yeah, or something like that. 477 00:26:50,026 --> 00:26:51,027 Okay. 478 00:26:52,695 --> 00:26:54,405 - Hmm. - I felt a kick. 479 00:26:54,488 --> 00:26:56,657 Oh. Oh. 480 00:26:56,741 --> 00:26:57,950 Is that a contraction? 481 00:26:58,034 --> 00:26:59,869 Yeah. I think that's what those feel like. 482 00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,370 Like, it itches, right? 483 00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:02,788 Uh... 484 00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:06,125 Does anyone hear that? 485 00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:07,376 Hear what? 486 00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:09,295 I think it's coming from the ceiling. 487 00:27:09,378 --> 00:27:10,921 Oh, my God, is that a rat? 488 00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:14,008 What? A rat? 489 00:27:14,091 --> 00:27:15,843 Yeah, you don't hear those little toenails? 490 00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:17,720 We should call maintenance. 491 00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:19,972 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. 492 00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:23,142 This can wait until Monday. 493 00:27:23,225 --> 00:27:24,352 Oh. 494 00:27:31,442 --> 00:27:32,735 Oh. 495 00:27:34,528 --> 00:27:35,863 - Yikes. - Principal Anderson, 496 00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:38,949 if there is a rat trapped in our school air ducts, 497 00:27:39,033 --> 00:27:42,787 we-- as the most evolved species of mammal in this room-- 498 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,622 are responsible for its well-being. 499 00:27:44,705 --> 00:27:46,082 - Mm-hmm. - It's a rat. 500 00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:49,168 A rat without access to food or water, 501 00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:50,753 not to mention daylight. 502 00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:53,381 When was the last time these vents were cleaned? 503 00:27:53,464 --> 00:27:54,507 Anyone? 504 00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:56,967 I genuinely have no idea. 505 00:27:57,051 --> 00:27:59,804 Do I need to make a call in to PETA's own Linda McCartney 506 00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:04,517 and alert her to the inhumane living conditions at Rainier West High? 507 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,727 Also, if it dies, it'll smell really bad. 508 00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:21,784 Hey, Frank, it's Shane. 509 00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:22,952 Yeah. 510 00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:27,206 Uh, eh-- would you mind bringing a ladder up to the library? 511 00:28:27,289 --> 00:28:29,208 Oh, and a jar of peanut butter. 512 00:28:31,419 --> 00:28:33,421 For the rat, not for me. 513 00:28:38,968 --> 00:28:40,386 {\an8}Busy day. 514 00:28:40,469 --> 00:28:42,304 {\an8}I noticed that, too. 515 00:28:48,519 --> 00:28:51,105 It sounds like he's right up here, Frank. 516 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,191 Give me that peanut butter. 517 00:29:08,372 --> 00:29:10,541 - Spot me. - Oh. Yeah. 518 00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:40,070 Gotcha! 519 00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:44,825 Giant freakin' rat. 520 00:29:45,951 --> 00:29:47,953 That is no rat. 521 00:29:48,746 --> 00:29:50,206 That is a ferret. 522 00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:52,333 Okay, take it. 523 00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:56,086 I am not touching that. 524 00:29:57,755 --> 00:30:00,299 Kyle? How many times do we need to tell you? 525 00:30:00,382 --> 00:30:02,092 No ferrets in school. 526 00:30:02,176 --> 00:30:03,594 Get up here. 527 00:30:08,057 --> 00:30:10,976 Uh, would you mind telling us how that thing got in the vents? 528 00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:12,144 Uh... 529 00:30:12,228 --> 00:30:14,230 Yeah, I must have dozed off, sir. 530 00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:15,731 I have six brothers and three sisters. 531 00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:17,024 Uh-huh. 532 00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:18,776 And this is the only place I really get any sleep. 533 00:30:18,859 --> 00:30:23,322 Okay. Well, then, you'll be happy to know you're due back here next Saturday. 534 00:30:23,405 --> 00:30:24,740 Alone. 535 00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:27,868 Uh, thank you very much, sir. 536 00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:40,673 Excuse me. Uh... 537 00:30:42,174 --> 00:30:43,551 Uh, Principal Anderson? 538 00:30:43,634 --> 00:30:45,219 I think Kimberly's trying to get your attention. 539 00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:47,429 What is it? 540 00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:55,354 Oh, my God. 541 00:30:55,437 --> 00:30:57,940 Kimberly, do you have a peanut allergy? 542 00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:00,859 Whoa, whoa, aren't those fatal? 543 00:31:00,943 --> 00:31:02,444 Did you bring your EpiPen? 544 00:31:02,528 --> 00:31:04,363 You know, you should really make a habit 545 00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:06,699 of keeping an unexpired pen on your person at all times 546 00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,617 in the event of an anaphylactic emergency. 547 00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:11,579 Well, maybe if she doesn't die right now, she'll bear that in mind. 548 00:31:11,662 --> 00:31:13,122 Uh, no, there is one. 549 00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:14,873 It's in, uh, the nurse's office. 550 00:31:14,957 --> 00:31:17,167 Um... Uh, keep her calm. 551 00:31:17,251 --> 00:31:19,920 Uh, and if any of you step foot outside this room, 552 00:31:20,004 --> 00:31:21,964 you will be expelled. 553 00:31:28,304 --> 00:31:30,222 God, I'm good. 554 00:31:30,306 --> 00:31:31,682 Jesus Christ. 555 00:31:33,475 --> 00:31:34,602 Told you she'd be useful. 556 00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:37,605 Okay, let's do this. Anderson's old. 557 00:31:37,688 --> 00:31:39,565 I give him four minutes to get the pen, tops. 558 00:31:40,149 --> 00:31:41,275 That gives me three. 559 00:31:41,358 --> 00:31:42,943 Yeah, are we sure we want to do this, guys? 560 00:31:43,027 --> 00:31:44,153 He said we could be expelled. 561 00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:45,487 Well, if anyone's gonna do this quickly, 562 00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:47,781 it's gonna be the fastest runner at this school. 563 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:53,370 It's me. I'm-I'm the fastest runner. 564 00:31:53,454 --> 00:31:55,080 - We know! - Okay. Okay. 565 00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:56,582 I'll see you at 11:21. Bye. 566 00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:12,723 For a second there, I thought you were in real danger. 567 00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,267 Have you considered pursuing the theatrical arts? 568 00:32:15,351 --> 00:32:17,478 Should someone be standing lookout? 569 00:32:34,411 --> 00:32:36,413 My old neighbor discovered the Culkin family at a diner. 570 00:32:36,497 --> 00:32:38,666 If you want to put yourself on tape, I could send it to her. 571 00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:41,418 Um, acting's not really my thing. 572 00:32:46,507 --> 00:32:47,508 Is that funny? 573 00:32:48,384 --> 00:32:51,011 Kind of, yeah, considering. 574 00:32:51,095 --> 00:32:52,221 Oh, really? 575 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:54,765 Considering what? 576 00:32:55,933 --> 00:32:58,310 Oh, do you really need me to spell it out? 577 00:32:58,394 --> 00:33:00,854 - Whatever. - I might benefit 578 00:33:00,938 --> 00:33:03,148 from some spelling out. 579 00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:10,823 Okay. Okay. Okay. 580 00:33:10,906 --> 00:33:12,116 Uh... 581 00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:17,663 Okay. 582 00:33:17,746 --> 00:33:18,956 Receipts, receipts, receipts. 583 00:33:19,039 --> 00:33:20,332 Kimberly's good at acting 584 00:33:20,416 --> 00:33:22,960 because she's in a perpetual state of performance. 585 00:33:23,043 --> 00:33:25,671 Okay, say what you want. 586 00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:28,716 - I know who I am. - Great. I know who you are, too. 587 00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:29,842 Great, then we have something in common. 588 00:33:29,925 --> 00:33:32,177 You mean besides the fact you both have a thing for each other? 589 00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:40,018 Okay, okay. 590 00:33:40,102 --> 00:33:43,772 Come on, Shane. Come on, Shane. 591 00:33:43,856 --> 00:33:45,774 EpiPen, EpiPen. 592 00:33:45,858 --> 00:33:48,861 Epi... Pen. 593 00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:50,946 This book you were fighting about earlier... 594 00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:54,324 features two ladies looking very wistful. 595 00:33:54,408 --> 00:33:56,368 Like, full of wist. 596 00:33:57,453 --> 00:33:58,996 You were making fun of Liz for reading it, 597 00:33:59,079 --> 00:34:01,790 but I-I looked inside, and you had checked it out from the library yourself. 598 00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:03,083 Multiple times. 599 00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:07,546 And then you have that secret drawer full of secret things. 600 00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:09,298 Okay. 601 00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:10,883 All right. 602 00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:12,092 Okay. 603 00:34:22,936 --> 00:34:24,104 What secret things? 604 00:34:24,188 --> 00:34:25,773 Your zines. 605 00:34:25,856 --> 00:34:27,399 And also, that camp bracelet. 606 00:34:27,483 --> 00:34:28,650 You went through my stuff? 607 00:34:28,734 --> 00:34:29,985 Not on purpose. 608 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:33,655 But I think something happened between you two at that camp-- 609 00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:36,950 like, romantically-- and now you're caught in this whole Sam and Diane thing. 610 00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:40,746 From Cheers. 611 00:34:47,961 --> 00:34:50,130 You don't hate each other. 612 00:34:50,214 --> 00:34:52,591 You like each other. It's so cute. 613 00:34:57,513 --> 00:35:00,516 - That's... No. That's not, uh, at all... - I-I don't know... 614 00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:02,476 - where you're going with this one. - ...what is going on there. 615 00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:03,977 Oh, my God. 616 00:35:05,187 --> 00:35:06,980 I did it again, didn't I? 617 00:35:07,064 --> 00:35:08,899 I don't know why my gaydar is so off. 618 00:35:08,982 --> 00:35:12,653 I mean, hearing myself say it, the camp thing did sound like a stretch. 619 00:35:15,948 --> 00:35:17,825 Anderson's on his way. 620 00:35:20,035 --> 00:35:21,662 Wha-- Miles should be back by now. 621 00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:27,793 And one... 622 00:35:33,549 --> 00:35:35,175 Okay. 623 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:37,636 Guys, we need to do something. 624 00:35:43,725 --> 00:35:45,227 Oh, come on, Miles. 625 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:46,520 Okay, what do we do? 626 00:35:47,604 --> 00:35:49,022 Um... 627 00:36:00,993 --> 00:36:02,327 Come on. 628 00:36:02,411 --> 00:36:03,954 ♪ Oh, please don't go out on me ♪ 629 00:36:04,037 --> 00:36:05,664 ♪ Don't go on me now ♪ 630 00:36:05,747 --> 00:36:08,125 ♪ Never acted up before, don't go on me now... 631 00:36:08,208 --> 00:36:10,627 Uh, uh, quick question: What are you doing? 632 00:36:11,378 --> 00:36:13,130 Anderson won't notice Miles is missing 633 00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:15,299 if we're all missing. 634 00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:16,884 ♪ Just passing it on ♪ 635 00:36:16,967 --> 00:36:18,385 ♪ Go ♪ 636 00:36:20,596 --> 00:36:22,014 ♪ Fuck ♪ 637 00:36:23,015 --> 00:36:26,101 ♪ Once fastened, servile, now you're getting sharp ♪ 638 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,312 - What's this? - ♪ Moving oh so swiftly ♪ 639 00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:29,771 ♪ with such disarm ♪ 640 00:36:29,855 --> 00:36:31,315 ♪ I pulled the covers over him ♪ 641 00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:33,609 ♪ Should've pulled the alarm ♪ 642 00:36:33,692 --> 00:36:35,319 ♪ Turned to my nemesis ♪ 643 00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:37,779 ♪ a fool, not a fucking god ♪ 644 00:36:37,863 --> 00:36:39,406 ♪ No... 645 00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:43,035 No. 646 00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,997 I can't believe you just did that. 647 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,041 It's just a fire alarm. It'll go off in a second, 648 00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:51,001 so let's get out of... 649 00:36:52,794 --> 00:36:53,879 Oh, boy. 650 00:36:55,589 --> 00:36:58,842 ♪ Don't go on me ♪♪ 651 00:37:18,612 --> 00:37:21,365 The sprinklers didn't just go off, did they? 652 00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:22,699 Huh? 653 00:37:22,783 --> 00:37:25,452 They were triggered by one of you. 654 00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:29,665 Isn't that right, Dustin? 655 00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:34,628 Yeah. You want me to believe this doesn't fit right in on your rap sheet? 656 00:37:34,711 --> 00:37:37,839 Mascot vandalism, assembly without permission, 657 00:37:37,923 --> 00:37:40,467 flagrant and recurring skateboarding in the hallways, 658 00:37:40,550 --> 00:37:43,887 and now turning the entire school into your own personal swimming pool. 659 00:37:45,973 --> 00:37:47,307 - Yeah. - I'm s... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 660 00:37:47,391 --> 00:37:49,685 This is all some big joke to you, huh? Right? 661 00:37:49,768 --> 00:37:52,104 - It's not not funny. - Okay. All right. 662 00:37:52,187 --> 00:37:53,271 Here's the deal, guys. 663 00:37:53,355 --> 00:37:54,815 Okay? 664 00:37:54,898 --> 00:37:58,318 Nobody wants to tell me who did this, we all come back here next Saturday, 665 00:37:58,402 --> 00:38:00,487 play this game all over again, huh? 666 00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:01,822 Would you like that? 667 00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:03,407 How's that sitting with you, Miles? 668 00:38:04,825 --> 00:38:06,827 Wait a second, isn't that Notre Dame scout 669 00:38:06,910 --> 00:38:09,037 coming to your cross-country meet next week? 670 00:38:09,121 --> 00:38:11,498 You sure you want to miss that? 671 00:38:11,581 --> 00:38:12,874 Hmm? 672 00:38:13,959 --> 00:38:15,419 Okay. Liz. 673 00:38:15,502 --> 00:38:18,380 You gonna miss another shift at Bad Vibrations, 674 00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:20,048 while your mom works three jobs? 675 00:38:20,132 --> 00:38:21,591 That seems fair, huh? 676 00:38:21,675 --> 00:38:23,260 And you're on such thin ice already. 677 00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:28,348 Glad you pulled through, Kimberly. 678 00:38:28,432 --> 00:38:29,933 Yeah, I'm just relieved I was able 679 00:38:30,017 --> 00:38:33,061 to find that spare pen hidden in my inside backpack pocket. 680 00:38:33,145 --> 00:38:34,354 Oh, yeah. 681 00:38:34,438 --> 00:38:36,898 I mean, you're not even friends with these people, 682 00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:40,152 and now you're willing to take the fall for them? 683 00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:41,987 Huh? 684 00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:45,115 Oh, I guess your parents won't be bragging about you at church tomorrow. 685 00:38:47,159 --> 00:38:48,994 And finally... 686 00:38:49,995 --> 00:38:51,538 ...Miss Woods. 687 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,042 Aren't you above all this? 688 00:38:55,542 --> 00:38:58,378 You weren't even supposed to be here. 689 00:38:58,462 --> 00:39:01,089 And now you're gonna let some delinquent loser 690 00:39:01,173 --> 00:39:04,509 add "destruction of school property" to a flawless high school transcript! 691 00:39:04,593 --> 00:39:06,511 Dustin's not a delinquent loser. 692 00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:09,973 Okay, well, remember that next Saturday when you're sitting next to him. 693 00:39:11,266 --> 00:39:13,310 I actually won't be sitting next to him. 694 00:39:13,393 --> 00:39:15,187 Then start pointing fingers. 695 00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:20,317 Because it was me. 696 00:39:21,401 --> 00:39:23,612 - No, it wasn't. - It was. 697 00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:26,865 I did this, and I'm willing to serve my time. 698 00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:28,867 This isn't the Elle Woods I know. 699 00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:31,244 Actually, Principal Anderson, 700 00:39:31,328 --> 00:39:35,749 a "good intention turned unexpected mess" is the Elle Woods I know, 701 00:39:35,832 --> 00:39:38,794 and I've never felt more accountable in my life. 702 00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:41,880 Suit yourself. 703 00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:45,383 And, apparently, I can't have you serve detention in standing water, 704 00:39:45,467 --> 00:39:46,968 so I'm gonna have to call it for today. 705 00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:50,138 But I will see you next weekend. 706 00:39:52,933 --> 00:39:55,393 Maybe you are that kind of girl. 707 00:39:57,813 --> 00:40:00,899 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 708 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:05,320 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 709 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,031 ♪ Whoa... 710 00:40:12,828 --> 00:40:17,374 And in conclusion, that is why a second Saturday of detention 711 00:40:17,457 --> 00:40:20,127 is ultimately a net positive. 712 00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:23,255 While we have not confirmed the existence of the stolen funds, 713 00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:26,758 we do believe, once we find a discrepancy in Anderson's paper trail, 714 00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:29,636 we will have the proof we need to expose his fraud. 715 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,638 And where is this paper trail? 716 00:40:32,556 --> 00:40:34,391 - Developing at Walgreens. - Okay. 717 00:40:34,474 --> 00:40:38,103 Elle, I didn't love when you got detention in the first place, 718 00:40:38,186 --> 00:40:42,941 but you started a fire and flooded your entire campus. 719 00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:48,238 I've started researching teen wilderness programs. 720 00:40:48,321 --> 00:40:50,031 I couldn't let Miles get expelled. 721 00:40:50,115 --> 00:40:52,868 And maybe there are other sides to me. 722 00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:56,371 Maybe I'm not the rule-abiding Gemini I always thought. 723 00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:57,747 I mean, even Ms. Burke accused me 724 00:40:57,831 --> 00:40:58,999 of being a Cancer. 725 00:40:59,082 --> 00:41:01,626 I hope this isn't your cusp starting to present. 726 00:41:01,710 --> 00:41:04,337 Okay, what is this cusp thing? 727 00:41:04,421 --> 00:41:06,214 How you were born during a transitional sun, 728 00:41:06,298 --> 00:41:10,886 how you're a Gemini, but you're a little bit Cancer, too. 729 00:41:11,887 --> 00:41:13,722 Ms. Burke was right? 730 00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:16,266 But you've always said I was a Gemini. 731 00:41:16,349 --> 00:41:19,644 June 20th, 11:59 p.m. It's on my birth certificate. 732 00:41:19,728 --> 00:41:22,230 I could've sworn I told you about this. 733 00:41:23,607 --> 00:41:24,941 Told me about what? 734 00:41:25,025 --> 00:41:27,819 How when I was pregnant, your dad had a pool at the office 735 00:41:27,903 --> 00:41:30,947 and everybody bet on which day you'd be born. 736 00:41:31,031 --> 00:41:32,199 Not ringing any bells. 737 00:41:32,282 --> 00:41:33,825 Oh, you remember. So fun. 738 00:41:33,909 --> 00:41:36,536 Um, we wanted to stay in the good graces 739 00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:38,830 of the head of Cedars' plastic surgery division, 740 00:41:38,914 --> 00:41:41,041 who had placed a bet on June 20th. 741 00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:44,252 Which worked out for him, because I was born on June 20th. 742 00:41:44,336 --> 00:41:46,004 And for us. 743 00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:47,923 Look at the fabulous life we lead. 744 00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:51,426 We have a favorite bistro in Paris 745 00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:54,679 and a pilot on speed dial. 746 00:41:54,763 --> 00:41:56,640 We use "summer" as a verb. 747 00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:57,807 Mom, when was I born? 748 00:41:57,891 --> 00:41:59,476 - June 21st. - Mom... 749 00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:01,519 Yeah, but 12:01 a.m. 750 00:42:01,603 --> 00:42:03,647 What is two minutes in the grand scheme of things? 751 00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:05,440 - My whole identity. - Okay, technically, 752 00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,359 your head was out at 11:59. 753 00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,319 Great. Great. 754 00:42:09,402 --> 00:42:11,696 So, my head's a Gemini and my body's a Cancer. 755 00:42:11,780 --> 00:42:14,574 This changes my entire emotional narrative. 756 00:42:16,201 --> 00:42:21,081 Did you knowingly corroborate the lie I've been living the past 16 years? 757 00:42:24,376 --> 00:42:26,127 No? 758 00:42:26,211 --> 00:42:27,587 Uh, Miles on the phone. 759 00:42:27,671 --> 00:42:29,214 Said it's important. 760 00:42:32,884 --> 00:42:35,762 How does a Cancer cusp even answer the phone? 761 00:42:37,347 --> 00:42:38,556 This was with the receipts? 762 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:39,975 It was shoved in the binder. 763 00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:43,061 The note said, "What a beautiful family." 764 00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:45,939 Well, it did before the sprinklers washed it off. 765 00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:47,774 Okay, so he had a photo of his family? 766 00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:50,235 - Yeah, but the note is creepy. - And that's not his wife. 767 00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:52,112 - What? - His wife has red hair. 768 00:42:52,195 --> 00:42:53,947 And they don't have kids. 769 00:42:55,448 --> 00:42:56,825 I've seen that jacket before. 770 00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:59,119 I knew it didn't belong to his wife. 771 00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:01,121 He was dismissed from a school in Sunnyside, Washington, 772 00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:02,330 for unknown reasons. 773 00:43:02,414 --> 00:43:04,708 This girl's wearing a shirt that says Sunnyside. 774 00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:06,835 Seems like she's the unknown reason. 775 00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:10,964 So, we're saying this girl is his daughter? 776 00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:13,591 Wow. 777 00:43:13,675 --> 00:43:16,386 I mean, I thought he was having an affair, 778 00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:19,681 but I never thought he'd have a whole secret family. 779 00:43:19,764 --> 00:43:22,434 Maybe he was stealing the money to provide for them. 780 00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:25,478 Yeah, but that still doesn't explain the note. 781 00:43:25,562 --> 00:43:27,230 Unless the money isn't for his family. 782 00:43:27,314 --> 00:43:28,523 It's a pretty big secret. 783 00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:30,483 Almost worth stealing thousands of dollars to cover up. 784 00:43:32,485 --> 00:43:35,447 He was paying someone to keep quiet. 785 00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:36,948 Someone must be blackmailing him. 786 00:43:42,912 --> 00:43:43,997 Guys, I need your help. 787 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:45,999 It's my mom. 788 00:43:51,338 --> 00:43:52,922 Oh, fuck. 789 00:43:59,721 --> 00:44:01,097 What do they want with your mom? 790 00:44:01,181 --> 00:44:03,308 - She swears she didn't do anything. - Why were they there? 791 00:44:03,391 --> 00:44:05,352 This is the police! 792 00:44:05,435 --> 00:44:08,605 Step out of your car with your hands up. 793 00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:09,814 They were there to arrest her. 794 00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:11,608 - Okay. - Look, thousands of dollars in cash 795 00:44:11,691 --> 00:44:13,109 was reported stolen from school today. 796 00:44:13,193 --> 00:44:14,277 We got the items. 797 00:44:14,361 --> 00:44:16,905 Look, "Rainier West High," written all over them. 798 00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:20,658 Those aren't mine. 799 00:44:23,078 --> 00:44:24,537 They found it in her car. 800 00:44:25,455 --> 00:44:28,291 What? That's impossible. Donna would never steal. 801 00:44:30,627 --> 00:44:32,128 Well, she'd never steal that much. 802 00:44:32,212 --> 00:44:33,630 That doesn't make any sense. 803 00:44:33,713 --> 00:44:35,548 Donna wasn't even at the school today. 804 00:44:35,632 --> 00:44:37,425 Yes, she was. You remember? She... 805 00:44:37,509 --> 00:44:39,969 she dropped off my lunch. 806 00:44:40,053 --> 00:44:43,890 Okay, but Donna was the one who told us about the receipts. 807 00:44:43,973 --> 00:44:45,392 And then tried to convince us not to look for them. 808 00:44:45,475 --> 00:44:46,768 Didn't we just realize that someone 809 00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:48,770 was blackmailing Anderson? 810 00:44:50,063 --> 00:44:52,148 I'm sorry, what are you talking about? 811 00:44:52,232 --> 00:44:56,152 We think Anderson has a secret family and someone knows about it. 812 00:44:57,237 --> 00:44:58,696 What? 813 00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:01,491 And you think my mom is blackmailing him? 814 00:45:01,574 --> 00:45:03,034 No. No way. 815 00:45:03,118 --> 00:45:04,619 Donna couldn't have done this. 816 00:45:11,543 --> 00:45:13,211 Could she? 817 00:45:16,756 --> 00:45:20,260 ♪ I say la, la-la-la-la ♪ 818 00:45:20,343 --> 00:45:22,637 ♪ la-la-la-la ♪ 819 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:26,599 ♪ la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 820 00:45:26,683 --> 00:45:30,854 ♪ la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 821 00:45:30,937 --> 00:45:35,275 ♪ la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 822 00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:39,487 ♪ la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 823 00:45:39,571 --> 00:45:43,199 ♪ la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 824 00:45:43,283 --> 00:45:46,035 ♪ When you walk on by ♪ 825 00:45:47,620 --> 00:45:52,041 ♪ will you call my name? ♪ 826 00:45:52,125 --> 00:45:56,129 ♪ As you walk on by ♪ 827 00:45:56,212 --> 00:46:00,633 ♪ will you call my name? ♪ 828 00:46:00,717 --> 00:46:03,219 ♪ When you walk away ♪♪